The brunt of the damage was on your side of the car. Lukas came to almost immediately. He had a piece of glass lodged in his shoulder but he didn't care about that. He saw you passed out against the seat almost like you were sleeping but there was so much blood that covered the side of your face.

Fear struck him in the chest so hard as he was acutely reminded of how he found his father, dead in the car with his brains splattered on the ceiling. He immediately moved and grabbed you, cradling your face so gently as he called frantically.

"Ella. Ella. Hjärtat. Open your eyes. Open your eyes for me," he said as he started to panic. He started to cry and he mumbled in Swedish. "Lämne mig inte."

Don't leave me.

______

When you woke, your head hurt fiercely. You started to blink your eyes open. You felt someone rubbing the back of your palm with their thumb back and forth ever so slowly.

You found that it was Lukas as your eyes took in their surroundings which resembled a hospital room. It made you smile a bit as you began to wake; made you feel warm.

"Hi," you muttered softly, content as you gazed at him.

His eyes immediately snapped to yours as he froze, "Ella."

When you were brought in last night, they had assured him you'd be fine. You had head trauma but they said you'd be okay. But it felt scary waiting for you to wake up even if it was just a couple of hours.

"What happened?" you asked.

"It was a car accident."

It had been a drunk driver. Lukas was so livid at the thought that you could've been taken from him. He only had a flesh wound and you had head trauma. He didn't want you to ever know pain but here they were. He planned to sue the driver into oblivion or something; maybe make sure they never drove again. He had his lawyers handling it.

You formed a small smile, "It seems like we're fine, though."

You placed your hand over your stomach and he felt dread as he had to force the words out of his mouth, "Ella...You lost the baby."

"Oh," your free hand retreated from your stomach.

You were silent for a moment and you felt Lukas kiss the fingertips of your hand that he held. He kept rubbing his thumb back and forth over the back of your palm.

"I suppose it's a good thing," you sniffled and blinked your tears away. "It's not like I'd be a great mother anyways."

Lukas couldn't believe the words that came out of your mouth before he argued softly, "Ella, that's...that's ridiculous. You'd be an amazing mother...."

You cut him off, not wanting to talk about it, as you inspected him, "You are okay, right?"

You saw a bandage sticking out from his shirt on his shoulder. You reached for it, removing your hand from his as you did so. You ran your fingers lightly over the edge.

"It's just a flesh wound. It's fine."

You hummed, seemingly content, before a nurse came in. And then a whole bunch of doctors came in to check you over for a long while.

_____

"Your, um, family knows," Lukas informed once the doctors left you alone. "They're flying in."

"Oh."

That seemed to be the only word you'd been able to say. And you kept staring off all detached. He kept having to get your attention.

"You should go then," you blurted out. "They'll have questions if you're here and I don't feel like answering them. My head hurts."

It'd be like World War III if your family found out about you and Lukas. You didn't have the energy to deal with it.

"Are you sure? Ella, I can stay," he stated. "Let me stay."

"I'm sure," you stated, staring forward and not at him.

He stood up and leaned over the bed, kissing your cheek for a long moment ever so delicately before he uttered, "I'll see you soon, alright? Tomorrow, okay?"

You barely nodded and he hesitated before he left. You kept staring at the wall not even registering that he was gone or that he'd said goodbye to you and you called out suddenly, thinking he was just about to leave, "Lukas."

You turned your head to the chair that he had been in to find him gone. A tear fell down your cheek before you wiped it away. You felt like your chest was about to cave in and you pulled your legs to your chest as you took deep breaths.

You focused on blowing out the bad thoughts. The bad thoughts. By the time you were done, you'd made yourself numb again.

_____

Your family finally got there. Your siblings got there first. They all hugged you. Well, Roman did like a half hug. He seemed to not like hugs. You didn't get it.

"How are you doing? Feeling a bit better?" Connor asked.

"I'm fine."

"You had us really worried, Ellie," Shiv frowned.

"Yeah. We were all really worried, El," Kendall said.

"Shivvie was definitely freaking out. Shed a few tears on the plane," Roman teased.

"Shut up, Rome."

That made you smile a bit. But then Shiv frowned as she noticed the scar on your arm. She grabbed it and asked, "What is this? This doesn't look like it's from the accident?"

You jerked your arm away. You barely ever thought about your scar now as Lukas made you feel accepted. You realized that your siblings had never seen it.

"Fishing trip with Uncle Ewan," you lied.

"Right," Kendall said skeptically. "A fishing trip."

Shiv and Kendall exchanged looks. Roman just stared at the scar with a little frown. Connor was the one who spoke with a reassuring smile, "You know we're always here for you, Ellie."

He patted your shoulder, "Whenever you need us."

You just nodded.

____

Your father showed up after them. There seemed to be a cold standoff between three of your siblings and him but they seemed to call a truce with their eyes today. They all left you alone to talk to Logan.

"Hi, Daddy," you smiled a bit.

"Ellie," he hugged you.

You were a bit surprised. But then he let you go and sat down. He looked at you with soft eyes, "How are you doing, kiddo?"

"I'm okay."

He hummed like he didn't believe you as he analyzed you with his cold blue eyes. You thought sometimes he could see right through you. You weren't sure.

"The hospital. I didn't like it when I was in it," he commented. "The doctors want to keep you overnight but how about tomorrow we get you back to New York?"

"You want me to come home? But what about work in London?"

"I should have never have put you there. You should be home where you belong," Logan said. "How does that sound?"

"I'd...I'd like to go home." You'd like to see Lukas. You clenched your jaw to keep from crying. People lost babies all the time. It was nothing to cry about; Lukas wouldn't want you if you cried. You were sure of it.

"Good, good," Logan smiled.

"Heard it was a drunk driver," he said before he patted your hand. "He'll be dealt with."

You could only nod and try not to fall apart as you did so.

AN: so we're starting season four in the next chapter. And Ella is gonna be going through it man