You didn't even work at Waystar anymore so you were not on the list to come to Norway. You had been intending to help Connor at the funeral home and make sure their father looked right. But Roman showed up and practically dragged you with him to the airport despite your protests about it; he had even taken your phone so you couldn't tell Lukas you were coming.

Roman said it would be a happy surprise for Lukas. You ignored him. You were taking deep breaths in the car as you felt panic. You did not want to see Lukas and have the inevitable come true: where he told you he didn't want you anymore.

"I don't know why you're freaking out. He'll love it and then he'll be all buttered up for the deal," Roman smirked at his own plan.

"It won't happen," you denied. "He won't care that much."

"Yeah. Sure," he responded sarcastically.

You huffed and turned away to stare out the window. You did not want to do this. You weren't even invited. It was rude. You were being rude and Lukas was going to resent you for it. Yet you knew Roman would not let you go home. You were trapped into this it seemed.

_____

When they arrived at the airport, Kendall gave your youngest brother a look, "Rome, seriously?"

"You can't deny that it's good strategy," Roman said.

Kendall deliberated for a moment before he sighed. Roman did make a point. Matsson had this weird fixation on you that Kendall assumed was because the man wanted to get into your pants (not because the two of you were friends like you said); he believed, as did the rest of your siblings, that you were too oblivious to any advances and it couldn't hurt to have you come along.

So you were brought along with them to this retreat. You wore a beige dress (that Roman picked out and told you to wear) and some tan boots; you also had a tan trench coat. You fumbled with your hands the whole time on the plane. You were nervous.

You didn't like this. You didn't like being used like this but it did make you feel important to your siblings. Yet it did not make you feel good about coming along. You supposed you let it happen because despite your doubts about what he would say to you, the urge to see Lukas was far too strong.

When you got to Norway, you stared out the window at the scenery as the car drove to the retreat destination. It was quite beautiful and your fingers itched to draw it. It made you calm.

Once they reached the retreat destination, you got out of the car with your siblings. You tried to hide behind them. You didn't want to be noticed. But Oskar was the one directing people where to go and he noticed you.

"Ella," he said in surprise. "We were not expecting you."

"I...Sorry."

Oskar was glad that you were here. Lukas had been difficult and was in a frenzy because you had not been answering your phone for hours. The tech CEO had even ordered his workers to call you. Since Roman took your phone, you had no idea that Lukas had been calling you nearly a hundred times and left you probably a thousand texts. (Roman had turned your phone off though when he took it and didn't even know this was happening.)

"You'll go on this one," Oskar directed you to a golf cart that you sat in alone with only the driver. "You'll go to the top."

The golf cart took off and you saw Oskar call someone quickly. He was probably telling Lukas you were here. You wondered if he was mad; he probably was going to be.

The driver took you to the gondola lift. You went on it. You stared out at the valley below as it slowly took you to a building on top of the mountain. The closer the gondola got to the building, the faster your heart started to race.

And then you were there, stepping into the building. As soon as you did so, you heard the call of your name. You didn't notice how he said it in relief as you found him walking towards you. You didn't notice how quickly he was walking like a man starved or excited.

You were oblivious as you froze. The first urge you felt as you stared at him was to run to him and hug him. But you resisted. He probably didn't want to hug you. So you slowly, stiffly, walked towards him to meet him in the middle.

"Hi," you avoided his gaze as you said meekly and you didn't notice him grinning at just seeing you.

"What are you doing? Come here," Lukas said like you were being silly before he pulled you into a hug with him, lifting you off your feet as he held you.

You were surprised. But you melted into him almost immediately and wrapped your arms around his neck. You let out a content sigh as you nuzzled the side of your face into the crook of his shoulder.

But then you realized what you were doing. You were being clingy. Wasn't that a thing that no one liked clingy girlfriends? You immediately let go of him, pushing away to drop to your feet and he formed a small frown as you did so.

"I've been calling you," he addressed. "Why haven't you answered?"

"Oh, um, Roman took my phone," you said, focusing on the scenery again as you stuck your hands in your pockets. "He, um, wanted you to be surprised when you saw me."

Lukas hummed a bit in frustration, "Ella, you do see that your siblings are using you to try to get at me, right?"

"Yes," you looked down. "But it doesn't matter what they want. I just...I think I just wanted to see you. And I saw you so I can leave if you don't want me here..."

"No. Fuck no. Ella, I don't give a fuck if you're here. I like that you're here," he replied. "I just...I want you to see that you have shitty fucking siblings."

"They're still my siblings, Lukas," you defended slightly.

"Ella..."

He got cut off when the rest of your siblings arrived along with the old guard. You walked away from Lukas as Kendall questioned, "Ella?"

"I was just greeting Lukas," you replied with a small smile as you moved past them to stand a little bit away at the window. You completely dissociated and you didn't notice Lukas kept his eyes on you as you walked away and it took him a moment before he recovered and greeted your siblings like nothing had happened.

_____

You had gone back down the lift with Shiv. She had placed an arm around you and guided you away from the window, "Hey, come on. Let's let the boys be boys."

So you were back down below. The negotiations that had taken place up top were over and everyone was outside on the grounds in the valley. Lukas had approached you and wanted to talk which you had agreed to but Kendall called you away. You told Lukas you would meet him at night in his cabin.

But you were now off to the side a bit watching the water rush in the river with your hands in your pockets. You didn't notice Lukas kept glancing at you.

Even though he was practically twenty feet away from you, it felt like a chasm was between them. There was a black hole that you didn't know how to navigate around.

You were interrupted from your thoughts when Greg approached you, "Hey, here's your beer."

"Why are you giving me a beer?" you asked as you took it. You didn't even like beer.

"Oh, well, Roman said to get you one...so I got you one," Greg explained as you heard the movement of a chair. "If it's not to your liking, I can get you another one, of course."

You looked towards the noise to find Lukas had risen from his seat rather abruptly. He was tense while staring at you and Greg with a hard gaze. He muttered something in Swedish to the rest of the people at the table he sat at before he moved to get another beer. You suddenly realized why Roman sent Greg over to you; Lukas did not know Greg was your cousin and would think he was some random guy that you brought along.

You felt angry tears build up at the fact that Roman was now using you to see if Lukas would be jealous. You glanced at your siblings before you made a beeline for them. You practically slammed the beer down on the table they were at.

"Jesus, Ellie," Shiv said.

"My phone," you held out your hand as you stared at Roman coldly. He sighed and relinquished it to you. You took it.

You then took off your trench coat and draped it over the table. Kendall zeroed in on the scar on your arm, "Uh, maybe you should keep that on, El, okay?"

"Why?" you furrowed your eyebrows. "It's not like Dad is around to care anymore."

Kendall and Shiv were shocked into silence. Roman raised his eyebrows as you started to put your hair into a ponytail, "Wow. And what exactly is it that you're doing?"

You mocked with a smile, "What do you mean, Rome? What should I be doing? Fucking Lukas?"

And you walked off as Roman blinked, "Did she just say fuck?"

You walked off a little ways to the archery course. It was something you had learned with Uncle Ewan. It made you focus and concentrate on the world around you. But right now your only focus was anger. You picked up the bow so quickly and notched the arrow, taking a deep breath before letting it fly and hit the target with such force. Bullseye.

"Okay, I think I can say that she has completely lost it," Roman commented to his siblings as they watched you in the distance.

"Did anyone know she could shoot?" Kendall questioned.

You notched another arrow in rapid succession. Bullseye.

"Roman, what did you do to make her so upset?" Shiv asked.

You notched another. Bullseye.

"Me? I think it's safe to say she's picturing all of our faces right now," Roman said.

You put down the bow and walked back to them with a bit of a skip in your step. You had a wide smile on your face that made you look a bit deranged. You grabbed your coat and put it on.

"I feel much better now," you said a bit joyfully.

"Oh, so violently shooting arrows makes you feel better. That's great," Roman stated.

"What was that?" Shiv asked.

"Yeah, what the Hell, El?" Kendall asked.

"It's a retreat, guys," you smiled prettily like you didn't know what they were talking about. "It's called having fun. Maybe you should try it sometime."

And you walked away from them, leaving them blinking after you a bit in shock. You wanted to be far away from them at the moment. You walked past the table where Lukas sat and his eyes followed you just as Tom sat down.

"Did she just suggest we don't know how to have fun?" Roman stated.

Kendall gave him a look, "I think that was obvious, Rome."

Kendall then had to get involved in the Tom and Greg debacle when Lukas made a joke. It led them to everyone clearing out so the siblings could talk to Lukas privately about the deal.

Things were tense as between Lukas and the two brothers as the talk ended. But Lukas just had to say something and make it even more tense.

"Real cool dragging your suicidal sister halfway across the world by the way," Lukas commented.

"We know how to take care of our sister, okay?" Kendall defended. "And she's not suicidal."

Lukas chuckled like Kendall told a joke and nodded sarcastically, "Right. Yeah. Sure."

"And she's really not any of your business, man," Kendall argued.

"No?" Lukas grinned in amusement as he thought of how you were very much his business considering he was dating you.

"No," Kendall denied.

_____

The sky was now starting to darken and it was drizzling rain. You were under the overhang as music played. It was where you had gone before and danced a little bit. You now stood on the edge of the overhang and held your hand out to let the rain fall onto your skin with a small smile.

Lukas was talking to Shiv about the deal and could not help but watch you. He hadn't been able to keep his eyes off of you. Even less so when you smiled; you were riveting when you did so. And it made him satisfied that you were, at least, happy about something.

Shiv noticed and commented, "A little too protective over my sister, don't you think?"

"It's a...it's a complicated issue," Lukas stated before he mused. "Actually, it's not. It's simple. I like her. And I get a little insane, I guess, about her sometimes."

"Uh huh."

Then Lukas grinned like a shark at Shiv, "But, of course, you and the Two Stooges know that or you wouldn't have brought her here. Trying to soften me up. It's smart. Your father was going to do it, too."

"Yeah. Maybe," Shiv replied coolly but she liked the idea of being compared to Logan.

Lukas brought Shiv back to his cabin at the very top of hill to talk about the deal. He sat on the couch and he took a hit of cocaine. Then Shiv told him a bit about her situation with Tom. To relate, Lukas began to speak and he had slightly loose lips because he was currently high.

"So I'm dating this girl," Lukas revealed. "At first, I was just in it for the sex, you know. And it sort of just creeped up on me, I guess. I don't know. Yet I...I really fucking love her. I do."

He bit his lip nervously as he thought of you, "But I, I did something before we were even dating. And I don't think she'd ever forgive me if she found out."

Shiv was silent for a moment before she questioned, "So you're dating someone yet you're totally interested in my sister?"

Lukas grinned, "Well, your sister is a, uh, very special case."

Shiv hummed before you entered the cabin, calling his name, "Lukas!"

You were tired yet you wanted to see Lukas. You didn't think you could talk to him during the day, out in the open. It was nighttime now and you thought it would be okay. You figured that Oskar had your bags delivered to wherever Lukas was staying, anyways (and you were right).

Lukas stood to attention as soon as he heard your voice call his name. And his eyes did not leave you like you were his only rapture as you entered, taking off your coat.

You were surprised when you saw your sister and you paused in your step, "...and Shiv."

"Ellie," she furrowed her eyebrows. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, well, since I wasn't expected to come. They didn't know where to put me," you lied. "So they put me here and Lukas is going to sleep on the couch."

"Uh huh," Shiv studied you. You were always oblivious and it sounded like a scheme that Lukas had cooked up to sleep under the same roof as you. Shiv didn't believe anything would happen because you never noticed when someone was flirting with you. So Shiv trusted you to be alone.

Shiv stood, "Well, then I'll get out of here and let you go to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

Lukas was still staring at you and still standing. You waited for Shiv to leave before you approached Lukas, putting your coat on the table, and now that you were with him, their argument from this morning didn't really matter. It seemed to fade away; it seemed so trivial when all you wanted to do was just spend time with him.

Did it make you sad that he had to lecture you about your siblings? Yes. But you couldn't change that and you couldn't be mad at him for suggesting that your siblings were bad for you. They were. You knew that. But really you just couldn't be mad at him at all. You wondered if there was anything that would make you truly mad at him.

He asked as you approached, "I'm not actually sleeping on the couch, am I?"

"No," you giggled as you sat down on the couch and he only sat back down now that you did.

"Good. That's good," he stared at you intensely with his pupils blown before he smiled. "You look so pretty."

He reached out to tuck your hair behind your ear before caressing your cheek as he pouted, "Couldn't keep my eyes off of you. It was so fucking difficult, Ella."

You stared at him before squinting your eyes, "Are you high?"

"Um," he avoided your gaze nervously as he hunched over while sitting like he was about to be scolded. "Yeah. Yes. I am. Yeah."

You stared at him, deciding you could have fun with this as you asked, "So am I the prettiest girl in the world or...how pretty are we talking?"

"Of course you are. Stupid question. Completely dumb," he argued.

You smiled and he traced your lips, "So beautiful."

You lost the ability to breathe with his fingers on your skin. And you noticed something on his wrist. The bracelet. It was a silver bracelet with a heart pendant. You had a matching one on your wrist.

When you'd been pregnant, you had seen matching bracelets in a storefront and couldn't help but buy them. It was the hormones that made you do it because normally you would have never have bought him something that he could reject.

And you had never had a boyfriend before. You'd never been able to do cute cringey things with someone. The only experience you had were romantic movies. Well, you saw the relationship between Shiv and Tom along with all your father's many marriages and you wanted neither of those. You wanted something real where there was no cheating; you wanted someone to be yours just as you were theirs.

So you had gotten them matching bracelets. You thought it was romantic and you were so happy about it. When you first got them, Lukas didn't have the heart to tell you that he thought it was stupid. So the next day he hadn't worn it and because of the hormones of your pregnancy, you were upset and you cried. He immediately wore it to appease you but then he wore it every day since; he even wore it in the shower because he never wanted to see you cry.

But you had been paranoid ever since then. You avoided looking at his wrist. You didn't want to see it not be there like you suspected.

But here it was, on his wrist still. You didn't want to read too much into it. Maybe he just forget it was there and didn't take it off. Maybe it was habit. You refused to believe it was because he cared about you.

You swallowed and looked into his very dilated eyes. You realized you could ask him anything and he would tell you truthfully. You thought of asking him if he loved you but you did not want to know the response so you requested what you had wanted for ages. What you wanted as you gazed at his lips.

"Kiss me," you uttered.

He seemed to hesitate before he leaned towards you. He did it ever so slowly. You were breathing so heavily in anticipation as his nose brushed yours. Then he brushed his lips against yours before finally, finally, kissing you.

He kissed you slowly and softly like you were delicate. It made your heart skip a beat. You felt like you were melting as a warmth spread through your veins and butterflies erupted in your stomach.

You moved to straddle him and he leaned his head back against the couch as the two of you continued to kiss. You still kissed slowly and sensually but you were a bit greedy, pushing your lips a little more deeply to his. You ran your fingers through his hair before moving them down to tug at his sweater and he peeled it off for you.

There was a momentary pause where they had to break apart and stop kissing as he did so. Then the shirt was gone and you attached yourself to him again. He stood up and wrapped your legs around him before carrying you to the bedroom.

It was dark with no light at all but the tall glass windows let moonlight illuminate the room, casting their shadows on the wall. He set you down as you unzipped your dress and shimmied out of it. He began to undo his pants and take them off but he had paused slightly before continuing as you took off your bra.

Once they were both bare, his eyes drank you in. You were completely mesmerizing. You seemed to glow in the moonlight. He thought if there was a fucking moon goddess, it had to be you. Nothing had ever illuminated the dark so well as you.

He went to place his hands on your hips but he hesitated, "Can I touch you?"

"Please, Lukas."

With your command, he did so. He ran them over your skin so slowly like he hadn't touched you a million times before. Like your skin was new territory he hadn't conquered. Like it was the first time.

With only the moonlight, it all felt cosmic. It felt like the two of you were fated. It felt like he was meant to be touching you.

And as he did so he kissed you again, soft and slow. Then his lips moved down to your jaw, to your neck, to your collarbone, down the valley of your breasts to your stomach. He laid multiple kisses there, delicate kisses, before he moved down.

His head was between your legs and he licked a stripe up the middle between your folds. You gasped and you grabbed his shoulders to keep yourself steady, from collapsing due to your legs feeling like jelly.

"You're so fucking wet," he commented with a small groan.

You didn't respond. Of course you were wet. Of course you were desperate. It had been more than a month since they last had sex and you needed him.

His tongue started to play with your clit. He lavishly pleasured the small bundle of nerves with slow, long licks. You rocked your hips slightly against his mouth. A heat built up in your lower belly ever so slowly until you hit a crescendo and you orgasmed, moaning his name, as your nails dug into his shoulders. Your legs shook and spasmed from the force of it as he licked another stripe over your sex, lapping up the juices you released.

Then he stood and you grabbed him, looping your arms around his neck to bring to him to your level. You kissed him and tasted yourself on his mouth. You liked the thought of you on him. Like he was more yours this way.

He shuffled you backwards until the back of your legs hit the bed. You climbed on it, scooting yourself backwards as he followed, crawling and hovering over you. He took his place between your legs as he took one of your hands and placed it over your head as he entwined it with his; his other hand was planted beside your head. He then rested his forehead against yours as he stared into your eyes.

"Ella," his voice caressed your name and he was looking at you so softly. It was almost like just saying your name became an I love you but you were too stubborn to believe that.

And you felt him insert himself inside of you. You gasped a little as he filled you ever so slowly. It was so slow and torturous that it burned just right and put you deeper into ecstasy than you were.

When he was completely sheathed inside of you, he let you adjust. And then he started to move against you. He barely pulled back before thrusting. They were slow, deep, gentle thrusts and his body was pressed against yours. It felt like he was making love to you.

Even though they had sex before, everything felt so much more intimate. He kept his forehead pressed against yours and you could look into his eyes, his beautiful eyes. You'd kiss periodically or squeeze each other's hand and you fell apart so quickly.

You cried out for him as you orgasmed. And his orgasm followed yours. He groaned loudly as he squeezed your hand tightly and you felt his cock pulse and throb inside of you as his seed filled you.

As soon as he did so, he pulled out of you quickly. You were confused as you panted and so did he. He lifted his head a bit before he kissed your cheek and muttered against your skin, "I'm sorry."

You blinked as he moved to lay beside you. Did he just apologize for having sex with you? You felt hurt as you snuggled up against his side. It felt clear now. He did not care about you. He was just a guy and couldn't resist sex. He did not care. But you did.

_____

You did not sleep at all that night, awake and in agony from the fact that he didn't care. Lukas slept peacefully though. When the sun had started to rise, you got up and stared out the window.

Lukas had stared to blink his eyes open now that you weren't beside him. His eyes immediately found you and he watched you. You had taken the sheet but left him the blanket (always so considerate).

Lukas thought you looked ever so beautiful. Your hair fell down the smooth skin of your back in messy waves but you looked peaceful. You looked ethereal.

"What are you doing up?"

His voice startled you a bit and you turned. You smiled a bit as you glanced back at the window, "It's pretty."

You walked forward and crawled back into bed. You snuggled up against him and he wrapped an arm around you before kissing the top of your head. You shivered a bit.

"You cold?" he stated before, without prompting, he took the blanket that was low on his hips and draped it over you up to your shoulders before pulling you a bit closer to transfer his body heat. "Come here."

It was so considerate and affectionate that it confused you. Was he just being nice because you sex with him? That was probably it.

"Lukas," you said anxiously.

He hummed in acknowledgement.

"You're going up to the top today, right?" you asked. "Can we go now and watch the sun rise?"

He rubbed at his eyes a bit, "You're not tired?"

"No."

"Alright. Yeah," he smiled a bit as he caressed your cheek. "Whatever you want."

And they quickly showered and got dressed before they went to top of the mountain in a helicopter. You had brought your sketchbook with you. You wanted to draw.

At the top, you both sat on a large rock. He sat beside you and wrapped his arm around your waist and his fingers drew circles onto the side of your hip. And they watched the sun rise together.

Lukas watched the look of wonder on your face and he commented in amusement, "You're so fascinated."

"Of course I am."

"But it's not even half as pretty as you," he argued.

"Are you still high?" you asked suspiciously as you blushed.

"No," he chuckled before he leaned in and kissed your cheek softly. "And I still think you're that fucking pretty, Ella. My pretty girl."

Your heart squeezed as you swallowed. He was being so affectionate. You didn't get it. Was it the sex? If it was sex that kept him glued to you, that kept him your Lukas, then you'd let him use your body a million times over just to keep him around.

You didn't care if that made you a whore. You needed Lukas like you needed air. He was the most important thing to you. Without your father, Lukas was the sole gravity that tied you to the Earth. You needed him to want you.

He grabbed your hand and kissed your fingertips, "You should draw. I have to watch this movie your siblings sent in."

You nodded and he went on his phone. You stared at him for a minute, admiring him. He had such pretty eyes in the sunlight. Your heart skipped a beat just staring at him and you were absolutely in love with him even if he wasn't with you.

You swallowed as you turned your head away from him. You began to draw. It included some of the natural landscape but you usually liked to paint a story. You also drew the cliffside and a shadowy figure looking down at the edge, ignoring that beauty in front of them.

You were almost done with it when your brothers arrived. Lukas had removed his arm from you before they saw anything. You continued to draw as they walked off to talk.

"Oh, look at that. You brought our sister," Roman commented.

"Yeah, she's a bit of an artist," Lukas replied. "Have you seen some of her work?"

"No," Kendall said. "No, we haven't."

"Well, you should because she's really fucking talented," Lukas said.

"Uh huh. Yeah. We'll definitely do that," Kendall stated.

Then Lukas started to talk about the deal. He found out the two of them were trying to ruin the deal. Then he called Logan a prick which pissed off Roman.

You didn't know any of this. You only heard Roman ranting angrily with the words you piece of shit as he came down the mountain back to the lift. You raised your eyebrows as Kendall followed after Roman slowly and he called, "Come on, El."

You got up to follow when Lukas called your name. You stopped and looked between Lukas and Kendall. You felt torn. Then you looked at Lukas sadly as you spoke a bit awkwardly considering you couldn't say anything that would allude to you being with Lukas, "Thanks for bringing me up here."

You quickly turned and followed after Kendall. Lukas hardened his eyes at your retreating form. You got onto the lift with your brothers as Lukas flew away in his helicopter. You felt an ache in your chest. But he did not love you, Ella.

"What happened?" you asked.

"Sorry to inform you but Matsson is an asshole," Roman stated.

"But he's always nice to me."

"Oh my god, Ella. He just wants to fuck you. Get it through your head," Roman said before ripping the sketchbook from your hands, tearing it in half, and letting it fall to the floor. "And he doesn't care about your stupid drawings. God, you're so dumb."

"Rome," Kendall warned as tears burned in your eyes.

You stared at the ruined sketchbook and dissociated. You felt numb. No one wanted you. You stayed that way until the gondola got back to the ground. Then you sniffled as your eyes became steely. Once they stepped out where the rest of the Waystar entourage was waiting to hear the news, you spoke. And everyone heard you.

"For your information, Romulus, I already fucked him."

And you stomped off. You didn't care if people knew anymore. It all seemed so pointless because you were sure that your siblings wouldn't even care at all.

On the plane ride home, you laid on the couch. You faced towards the cushions so no one could see your face and they all thought you were asleep. You had silent tears fall down your cheeks. Your siblings seemed to not really care about you and you were sure that you had lost Lukas. He didn't love you anymore. He just wanted sex. You probably lost him when the baby died and at the reminder of that, more tears fell from your eyes.

AN: holy crap this was so long but anyways I alluded to Lukas hiding something when he talked to Shiv; that's going to get revealed in the finale

I think I'm gonna be doing episode six and tailgate party in the next one but idk we'll see

Also here is what I picture the outfit she wore and the bracelets to look like