AN: this chapters begins the mature rating of the story; there is a little bit of smut in this chapter

You couldn't help it.

It was like a drug, a need, an addiction. You wanted his approval so desperately. Approval from your father. It was why you grew up being the "good girl." You never rebelled, you never stayed out late, you never got a boyfriend, and you stayed focused on school.

But you never got any praise from your father for doing all those things. You realized it was the bare minimum for him and only the extraordinary would impress him. You didn't know what that would be. You didn't know if you had any extraordinary qualities to offer but you just wanted him to look at you like he loved you. Just once.

So when your father called you in and offered you a job, you took it. It was a position in London.

"I think we should get your feet wet in the European division. What do you think?"

"I-I think it's great, Dad," you faked a smile.

Of course you smiled. Even though you hated everything to do with business, you smiled. You smiled because he was talking to you. He was acknowledging you. It was everything you wanted...only for him to send you away.

You were going to London. It felt awfully like when he sent you to Uncle Ewan. Out of sight, out of mind. But this time you had a chance to prove yourself. You could do it. You could do it.

So you were now in London with no contact with any of your family. You were learning from the head of the London office and were basically his assistant. He didn't treat you very well; often times he would grope your ass and you were too afraid to speak up.

If you spoke up, wouldn't you be seen as weak? And what would your father think? Would he be embarrassed? Especially so soon after the cruises scandal. Yes, yes, it was too soon. Yes, it was best to stay quiet.

And you felt utterly trapped. You could feel that suffocating feeling closing around your neck like a noose. It was what led you to the incident last year; the incident that left a long, deep scar on your arm.

But you were determined to ignore it. You wouldn't do it. You would be good. You wouldn't be a complete embarrassment because that was what those feelings were: embarrassing, irrational, childish, and stupid. They were a weakness and you would not be weak.

So soon after moving to London, it was your birthday. Your father had called you and so had Connor but the rest of your siblings seemed to have forgotten. You deluded yourself into thinking they were just busy and they'd call tomorrow. Of course they would, you told yourself in your head.

But even though it was your birthday, you were working. You were setting up schedules and writing agendas and it was late. That was when Lukas called. He wished you happy birthday. It made a goofy smile form on your face and a fuzzy, warm feeling to encompass your whole body.

"How did you know? I didn't tell you," your cheeks were red.

"I had to text your brother about it. I didn't like that but whatever," you could see him shrug in the FaceTime call. "You know there is zero fucking info on you on the Internet almost like you don't exist or something."

"Oh, yeah. Well, don't you know that I'm least interesting Roy?" you cracked a joke but he didn't laugh.

"But that's just not fucking true," he said before he changed the subject. "Where are you at? Why does it look like you're at work?"

"Because I am. I'm working."

"But it's your birthday?"

"Yes, and? I still have to work."

"No. No," he denied with a small grin. "You're the princess. You don't have to do shit."

You rolled your eyes, "If you say so."

"I do say so. Once I take over, you're never lifting a single pretty little finger," Lukas said.

You smiled a bit, "And what would I be doing?"

"I don't know. Something happy and you wouldn't be in fucking London," Lukas promised before he changed subjects again. "Are you almost done though with whatever it is? Because I, uh, I have a surprise for you."

He formed a mischievous grin now while biting his lip and you blushed, "You got me a gift?"

"You think I wouldn't?"

You didn't respond to say yes, I didn't think you'd get me anything because no one else ever does. That was a depressing thought and you didn't want to make anything with Lukas depressing. "Alright. Okay. I guess I'll be done."

His surprise was actually at an address he gave her. Lukas said to call him back after you got there. You had your driver take you there and once you got out, there was a woman waiting for her with paperwork.

"Are you Ella Roy?"

"Yes."

"Alright. Just sign right here and this will be all yours."

"I'm sorry but this?"

"The art studio that Mr. Matsson procured for you."

You had blinked in shock before signing the form she wanted. She gave you the keys and everything. Then you went inside and stared at the wide open space that was now all yours. There were giant windows in the back and you went to stare out of them before you called Lukas back (not FaceTime). Your heart was beating so fast you swore it was going to beat right out of your chest.

"You bought me an art studio?" those were the first words that came flying out of your mouth.

"You like it?" you could hear how proud he was over the phone and you knew he was grinning.

"I-I do. Yes," you swallowed. "Thank you but..."

"No. Not a but," Lukas stated. "This makes you happy, ja?"

"I-Yes. Yes," you answered nervously. You struggled with happiness and you found you never failed to feel a small semblance whenever you talked with Lukas. Perhaps you were just scared of letting it in. You didn't know what it felt like to have your heart beat fast with bliss and it was scary to feel something unknown. But you liked it. You really liked it.

"Then that's all that matters."

You didn't argue. You just sighed in content and let your heart beat wildly. Happiness, you mused, perhaps that's really all that mattered in life. Maybe you should start to realize that instead of living for something that doesn't offer you any. But, baby steps.

______

You became so much happier after Lukas got you that art studio. You spent nearly all your free time in the art studio. You started to draw again before you started to paint, too. On your first painting, you had a stupid smile on your face as you used nearly every color you had; the colors made you happy. They were bright and beautiful and you couldn't help but feel that way.

You started to even take days off just so you could create art in your studio. Then Lukas came to visit.

You showed him all of your creations, flitting around like an excited kid. He noticed you didn't look as tired anymore and the shadows under your eyes were less visible. But that didn't matter, you always looked gorgeous.

"What do you think?" you asked, chewing on your lip as you gazed at him anxiously.

"I think you're fucking talented like your bride friend said," Lukas said.

You smiled bashfully before Lukas found the one painting that was covered in a sheet, "What's this one?"

He went to reach to pull the sheet off but you smacked his hand down, "No. It's not finished. It'll look bad. You can't see it till it's done."

"Wow. So bossy," he smirked. "Fine, I won't look at it."

You looked away, a bit embarrassed. But then Lukas came to you and put his hand on the small of your back. He changed the subject as he scratched at his chest with his other hand.

"You wanna go get lunch? I'm starving."

You leaned into his touch a bit and Lukas started to draw circles over your shirt as you responded, "Oh, yeah. Okay. We can do that."

"We can?" he teased. "That fits your approval, princess?"

You smacked his shoulder with red cheeks, "Lukas! I'm not that bossy."

"No?" he grinned before he agreed as he kissed the top of your head. "No. But it wouldn't matter. You can boss me around, princess."

You flushed again as you left to go eat with him.

_____

You'd only been in London for a month before your father sent you to Lukas to work out some of the details of the deal. You didn't like it. You didn't want to talk business with Lukas. You didn't want to associate something you hated with someone you really liked.

Lukas treated with you in his house and it felt very private. Intimate. No one else was around. You sat across from him on a different couch and he was all calm and collected while you felt like you were about to break out in hives. It didn't help that your boss (technically) had cornered you beforehand at work and threatened you to talk him up to Lukas, to put him in a favorable light.

You felt suffocated. You barely said two words to Lukas once you saw him. And you still weren't talking now that you were sitting.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, his eyes peered at you. His cold, haunting blue eyes that made you feel all warm and fuzzy. You wanted to reach out and hold his hand. You wanted contact.

You looked away. "I...No."

You opened up your folder full of the details you were supposed to go over but your heart was racing. You looked out the tall glass windows. You dissociated until your heart started to calm down.

"Ella," you heard the call of your name and you looked back at him.

"Can we just...not? I'll tell my dad I couldn't get anything out of you and he'll have to do it himself, alright?" you spoke. "But I don't...please don't make me."

"I'd never make you do anything," he said so simply.

You felt like you could breathe again now as you took long, slow breath. You looked out the windows again and it was silent for a moment before you spoke, "Can we go outside?"

He was quick to placate you but you didn't notice that he was speaking faster (more nervous), "Yeah. Yes. If you'd like."

"I'd like to."

So they went outside and they walked around. It was a bit chilly out and you hadn't brought a coat so you borrowed one of his. It easily swallowed you whole. You didn't notice that Lukas kept glancing at you while they walked, a bit lustful and wanting as he gazed at you appreciatively in his clothes.

You had stopped on a hill. He had a nice view and you liked it. He stood beside you for a while before he grabbed your hand, entwining it with his. You froze a little bit.

"Is that...okay?" he asked, he peered at you intensely.

You nodded and you squeezed his hand. You didn't know how badly you wanted to hold his hand until you were actually holding it. It felt like a lifeline and you didn't let go even as the two of you went back inside. He brought you on a tour of his house.

You finally got to his bedroom and you recognized it from some of the photos he would send you. It was very modern and bare with any sort personal accents. There was a small desk against the wall with his laptop and some books. You noticed he had Great Expectations by Charles Dickens face down and open to a page. Then there was his bed. It was massive.

"Did you have to like special order one because you're so tall?"

"Yes. Complete bullshit but whatever," he replied. "And I don't know if I like it."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I don't know if it's the best. I want only the best," his eyes followed you as you walked around.

You finally noticed a sleeping bag next to his bed, "Lukas? Really? You don't sleep on the mattress here, either?"

"No."

"Why?"

"I told you," he said as you took a seat at the edge of the bed. "I want the best of everything."

"That's so stupid," you shook your head as you laid back on the bed to test it out.

"I disagree," he said as he stared at you lying on his bed. Your hair was sprawled around you and with the image of you on his bed, he wasn't sure he was ever going to get rid of the mattress now.

He only slept in the mattress the once but as he stared at you he had no desire to sleep in it; he wanted to break it in. He bit his lip as he thought of fucking you and his pants grew tighter as his dick started to form an erection.

He stood right in front of you and you felt your leg brush his sweatpants. You looked at his eyes that were gazing at you so intently that you couldn't help but blush and smile. You found smiling easy to do in his presence.

"Come here," you patted the space next to you as you called.

He quickly took the space next to you, lying there. You glanced at him for a moment before your eyes stared up at the ceiling. His eyes stayed glued to you.

"It's comfy. I don't know how you don't like it."

"I don't know. Maybe I need some convincing."

"Like what?"

"Can I touch you?"

Your breath left your lungs. You stayed staring at the ceiling for a long moment before you slowly turned your eyes to meet that intense blue-eyed gaze. His eyes were so hypnotizing and you swallowed before you said so quietly, "I don't think my dad would like it."

"Fuck your dad. What do you want?"

"It's not very professional," you argued again, ignoring the question.

"Ella," he practically whined.

You stared at him again and it was a long moment before you spoke, giving him permission in a voice so soft that it could break like glass, "You can touch me."

He gained a small victorious grin as he turned onto his side. You thought he'd reach for your ass or something like your boss but that was not what he did. His hand moved slowly to creep under your shirt as your breaths came out erratically fast now. Your shirt was pushed up as his hand smoothed across your stomach. With the combo of his large hand and your tiny waist, his hand reached completely across your stomach.

His hand felt possessive and warm and...it felt nice. You never had this type of skin on skin contact before. It drove you completely crazy as he let it lie there, lingering, and your heart beat so quickly in equal amounts excitement and anxiety.

"Has anyone ever touched you?" he questioned.

"No."

"Have you touched yourself?"

You shook your head with a sheepish look but Lukas only gained a look of delight as he questioned, "So you're all fucking mine?"

He moved his hand then to place slow, sensual kisses down your stomach. You let out a little gasp and your hands fisted the sheets.
His lips stopped as he muttered against your skin, "Answer me."

Feeling his breath on your skin made goosebumps form and you were sure you would never feel this way with anyone. You were his.

"Yes, I'm yours. I'm yours."

He grinned and he continued his trail of kisses down your stomach. He gave a little lick across your belly button and you let out a soft sigh. His kisses stopped once he reached the waistband of your skirt.

He unbuttoned it and unzipped it slowly before starting to pull it down. You lifted your hips so he could do so. Then he had to pull down the black stockings you had on underneath and your panties were pulled away along with them down to your knees. Your lower half was now bare to him and you immediately closed your legs on instinct.

He chuckled as he moved to stand. He moved them apart and took his place between them. His hand smoothed down your stomach again before continuing all the way down this time. His hand stilled as his thumb found the red bundle of nerves; he flicked it and your hips jerked as you gasped.

"You're so sensitive," he chuckled. "You still want me to touch you?"

"Yes, Lukas. Please."

His thumb grazed your clit again and the sensation made you let out a low moan. He circled it slowly over and over again. A foreign wave of heat crept up, building inside of you. You wanted to cry from the pleasure of it all, tell him to stop now because you knew there would never be anything better than this. You knew that he had ruined you to any other pleasure besides the one he could provide.

But you couldn't possibly tell him to stop, it felt too good. So you fell and fell and fell into this burning heat and you cried out his name as you felt it consume your mind.

You felt your first orgasm as the heat started to leave your body. You felt like you became the smoke that was lifted into the clouds. You felt high, intoxicated, on cloud nine.

He continued to play with that bundle of nerves that was now overstimulated and your hips bucked against him. He placed a hand beside your head as he said, "Tell me to stop."

But you didn't. You wouldn't. He knew that. He continued to play with your clit as you squirmed and it didn't take long before you went through a second orgasm that made your legs tremble and your eyes roll back. And this time you did cry as tears left your eyes from good it felt.

"Are you fucking crying?" he stared in amusement. "I haven't even put my dick inside you."

You groaned a bit at the thought of him being inside you and your pussy throbbed for him, ached for him, becoming even more wet. You didn't know an ache could ever be so primal or sensual.

But the thought of having sex with him made you nervous. You immediately closed your legs and panicked. You pushed at his chest as your own heaved, "Lukas, I don't...I'm not...ready."

"I know. It's alright. Calm down," he caressed your cheek and you leaned into it, sighing a bit. You placed your hand over his and kept it there before you played with his fingers.

He kissed your stomach again as he asked, "Can I still touch you?"

It took you a moment before you nodded. You opened your legs for him again and he kept one hand in hers while the other went back to explore her lower regions. You gasped once he touched you again.

"You're still so sensitive," he chuckled as his fingers swirled around that bud of nerves.

You squeezed his hand so tightly once you orgasmed again. Once it had reached nightfall, you were left quivering beneath him from how many times he made you come with just his fingers (he even penetrated you with them). You were so blissed out at the end and you crashed so fast that you were so sleepy but you remembered him cleaning you up.

You thought you must have dozed off at that point because the next time you woke, Lukas was calling your name. You hummed and opened your eyes to see him offering you a sweatshirt.

"Do you want to change?"

You nodded but you didn't move. He had to pull into a sitting position. You went to try to take your shirt off but he had to help you. As he did so, you stared at his eyes but they were looking at your bra-covered breasts.

You pouted tiredly, "Lukas!"

His eyes quickly averted themselves as he bit his lip sheepishly, "Sorry."

Then he shoved his hoodie on over your head. After it swallowed you whole, Lukas wiped the tears from your face so gently before he kissed your forehead. You felt so content in that moment that you fell right asleep in his hold.