You woke up in his bed. You barely even slept mostly because the two of you wouldn't stop like bunnies. But you were awake now and you were pressed up against his side as he slept soundly with an arm wrapped around you tightly.

You couldn't stop staring at him. You didn't want to look away. You felt irrevocably attached to him and even more attracted to him than you were before. You ran your fingers lightly over the scratch marks on the sides of his hips.

You left your fair share of marks on him. Your nails had scraped his skin so many times and you had mumbled sorry consistently. Then there was the bite mark on his shoulder; you had been kissing the skin there and then when an orgasm hit you, you just...bit down. You didn't know what came over you and why you had the urge to do so. You supposed because some part of your brain wanted someone to be yours just as much as you were theirs. But Lukas was not yours.

Your mind quickly scrambled away from that thought as you thought of all the marks Lukas left on you. You were covered in hickeys and the shape of handprints were imprinted onto your thighs. You were covered in traces of him...and you liked it. It felt like physical evidence that you mattered; and with the way you remembered his lips touching your skin, you felt scorched and on fire. Alive. You mattered.

As you ran your fingers over the scratch marks again, he stirred and a small chuckle escaped him. He immediately grabbed your hand as he blinked his eyes open with a small sheepish grin, "That tickles."

"Sorry," you mumbled.

His bright blue haunting eyes were on you now and you felt butterflies. You couldn't help but press a kiss to his chest over his heart. He turned onto his side to face you. His fingers caressed the skin of your cheek before he leaned over slightly to place a lingering kiss on your forehead. Then he just stayed running his thumb over your cheek and you huddled a bit closer to him even though you were already pressed against him.

"Lukas," you called after a few peaceful moments.

He hummed in response.

You hesitated before you asked, "This is casual, right? So...we can do this again?"

He stared at you for a moment and his thumb paused. Casual. He didn't like it but he would take what he could get from you.

He sighed, "Yes."

You grinned a little bit and he felt...warm. It was a whole body thing like every cell in his body finally felt the sun for the first time. It happened every time you smiled at him when he did something to make you happy. You were absolutely fucking him up.

Then you bit your lip as your smile turned mischievous. You hiked your leg up over his hip to press your mound against his bulge.

"Ella," he uttered in a strained tone.

"Can we do it again then?" you asked and you started to rub yourself against him. "Please."

"Yes. Fuck," he groaned a bit before reaching between them to line himself up with your entrance and sliding into you. You moaned as he filled you up. He then placed his hand behind you on the bed to steady himself as he started to fuck you, thrusting into you with reckless abandon.

Your eyes got this glazed over look just by him entering you. He was spurned on by it. He was honestly confused how it didn't hurt for you. Every other woman he'd been with hadn't ever been able to take him for too long because it hurt too much but here you were, begging him to keep fucking you.

He kissed you then on the corner of your mouth. He did it repeatedly in the night. It was something you didn't read into; it allowed you to still believe it was casual. But it satiated him to just get a small taste of your lips.

He wondered if it would be your first kiss when he would ever get to kiss you. It turned him on that you hadn't been touched ever by anyone else. You only knew his hands and his lips and that perfect little virgin hole only knew his dick. You were his. All his. He'd never let you go now. He'd never let anyone else fuck you.

Just thought of anyone else knowing what you felt like made him sick to his stomach. Or even knowing all the little sounds you made. How you cried. And you were so pretty when you cried, moaning his name as tears fell down you cheeks. Yes, you were his now. You were his Ella. He wanted you to be his. He needed you to be.

______

Your father was hosting a networking event at his penthouse in New York. It involved a whole host of top leaders across multiple industries. Your father did it every year. It always seemed to you like a bunch of guys getting together for drinks and patting themselves on the back.

It didn't really matter to you but your father wanted you there. He had actually called and asked for you. So you were flying into New York for this. And then you found out Lukas would be attending.

It seemed obvious there was something about the deal that needed to get ironed out. You had wondered if your father wanted you to work on the details with Lukas but he never asked. He had merely engaged you in small talk for a little bit at the beginning before leaving you alone.

"So you're doing well?" Logan had asked after he gave you a small hug.

"Yes, Dad. I'm fine," you smiled a bit, happy that he hugged you. "I'm well, I mean."

"Good," he squeezed your shoulder. "That's good, Ellie."

Then he left you alone but you were quite bright that he acknowledged you. Lukas had arrived a bit later when nearly everyone was there already. It had been two weeks since you'd last seen him, since you'd slept with him. And you couldn't help your feet from carrying you over to him.

"Hi," you said a bit nervously as your heart pounded.

"Yeah. Hey," he replied as looked around while chewing the gum he had. "It's a bit crowded, uh?"

You didn't really notice. You were only staring at him. You really needed to stop it. You forced your gaze to move away from him.

"Hi, Oskar," you smiled politely as you noticed him.

"Little Ella," he greeted with a voice that was a bit loud and pulled you into a side hug, making you smile even wider.

Lukas clenched his jaw. He didn't like that someone else could hug you but he couldn't. It would draw too much attention if he hugged you; make people suspicious.

Then your eyes found someone you hadn't met before. Lukas introduced the two of you.

"Uh, right. My head of comms. Ebba," Lukas stated plainly.

Before you could even say hi, Lukas was whisking you away. You just waved cutely instead. He placed a hand on the small of your back before ushering you forward, "But let's get a drink, ja?"

"That was rude," you said once they reached the drinks table.

"No," he disagreed with a small, persuasive grin. "I can't want you all to myself?"

You floundered for a response as you blushed a little and answered quietly, "I suppose."

He hummed in content before one of the people, a CEO of something you were sure, started to talk to Lukas. It allowed you to stare at Lukas without regard. You started to think of the last time you'd seen Lukas and you heated up.

Once he was done talking, you reached up on the tips of your toes and whispered to him. You were short so even though you were on the tips of your toes, you still couldn't whisper in his ear. You could only whisper in his general direction.

"I'm on the pill now," you uttered with excitement.

He had tilted his head down a bit to listen to you while looking out at the crowd. He paused in chewing his gum once the words left your mouth and his eyes shot to you. He could not believe you had the nerve to say this to him in a crowded room, especially, a room that belonged to your father.

He shook his head, "Hjärtat, you're going to get me in trouble."

Before you could respond, your father had made himself known, "Matsson. Glad you could make it. What do you think?"

"Sir," he straightened and nodded his head. "It's a, uh, nice place you got. Very nice. Trying to get this one here to give me a tour."

You furrowed your eyebrows at what exactly Lukas was up to.

"It seems my daughter has forgotten her manners," Logan said before his casting his gaze upon you. "He's a new guest. Give him a tour."

You nodded obediently, "Of course, Daddy."

Logan left the two of you alone and Lukas muttered quietly with a smirk, "Daddy?"

"Shut up," you blushed.

But you did as your father said. You gave Lukas a tour. You went from room to room showing him around. You seemed to genuinely think that he had wanted one. He just wanted to get you upstairs and alone.

Finally, they did. It was your father's study and as you walked into the room, you didn't notice Lukas had closed the door and locked it. You just went on rambling as you walked inside and stopped in front of the desk. Then Lukas placed his hands on your hips and your ass was against his crotch. All yours words halted.

He moved your hair to the side before kissing your neck. You practically melted against him as he muttered huskily against your skin, "Let me fuck you."

"Someone could walk in," you argued.

"I locked it."

"Oh."

"Bend over," he demanded and you practically did so automatically, eagerly. Your heart was racing in anticipation, in desire.

You bent over the desk where your father frequently worked. You had your head turned to the side and pressed against the wood. Maybe it should've bothered you but it did not. You just wanted to be fucked.

Lukas pushed up the sweater dress you were wearing to just over the swell of your ass. He tugged your panties down to your knees before pushing his sweatpants to reveal his erection. He went to enter you but you had stopped him.

"Shouldn't you wear a condom?" you asked.

"You're on the pill," he defended.

Was the pill really that effective? You didn't know. You did take Plan B last time but this was different. Clearly he thought it was good enough and you trusted him.

"Oh."

And he slid into you erasing any and all thoughts about birth control in your head. You moaned before you felt him place his hands on your ass, squeezing affectionately as he let you adjust.

"This will have to be quick," he stated.

You only mumbled a small plea, "Not too quick."

And you gasped as he started to thrust. It was so fast and so rough. The air was filled with the lewd sounds of skin slapping against skin. The desk rattled and pens fell to the floor from the force of his thrusts against you. You orgasmed so quickly and then another and another in rapid succession. It was like one perpetual never-ending orgasm.

And felt Lukas spill into you making you mewl. But his dick was still hard so he kept plunging into you. He was so turned on by the fact that he had you bent over the desk of your own father. And he was even more turned on by the fact that you could possibly get pregnant. He wanted you pregnant. He wanted you forever tied to him.

Lukas spilled into you three times before he softened. He kept his dick inside you for a couple of moments as you both breathed heavily. Then he pulled out and quickly tugged your underwear back up to catch the cum that started to leak out.

Your legs were a bit tired and shaky as you straightened and fixed your dress, flattening it back down. You turned to him after he had fixed himself and pulled his pants back up. You wobbled a little bit.

He grinned at that before he stepped towards you, kissing your forehead, "You okay?"

You nodded before snuggling your head against his chest and muttered, "Love you."

He had practically froze. You didn't understand why. Of course, you loved him. He was your best friend. Your only friend.

Lukas felt his chest tighten once he heard those words. He swallowed. He wanted to hear them again.

"Can we stay up here for a little while before we go back down?" you asked, mumbling into his chest.

It took him a moment to respond and his voice was ever so soft, "Yeah. Of course. Anything. Anything you want."

You smiled before letting him go. You decided to finish the tour with him and make sure your legs actually worked right. When they were going back down, he noticed a door that you hadn't opened.

"What's in here?"

"Uh...it used to be my room," you revealed; you had been the only one out of your siblings that ever lived here. The penthouse had been something your father moved into when all your other siblings moved out but because you were still young, you were still under his roof and were the only one to have a room here.

"What? I can't go in there?"

"No," you denied him access as you blushed. "Please, don't."

You didn't want him to go in there and see the many posters on your wall. You had a thing for blonde celebrities. Lukas was exactly your type and you didn't want him to know that. It was embarrassing.

"Okay, okay," he chuckled.

You switched subjects and pushed at his chest, "You should go down first."

"You sure?"

You nodded.

He grabbed your hand and kissed your fingertips. Your heart skipped a beat and butterflies erupted. Then he left you in the hallway with a stupid smile on your face to go downstairs like you wanted him to.

_____

Lukas was downstairs in the crowd with Oskar and Ebba. He was joking around with Oskar and he saw Ebba roll her eyes at the two of them with a frown.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Are you not having any fun?" Lukas teased.

"Fun? Oh, yeah, it's totally fun to get dragged here just so you can get your dick wet," Ebba said.

Lukas grinned, "Ooh, is somebody jealous?"

"You wish I was, Lukas."

"No but it's fun how it bothers you," he chuckled. "You're all prickly."

"Fuck you, Lukas," Ebba huffed.

"But you already did," he smiled like a shark as he mocked.

You had finally come down from upstairs. You were in the crowd and you could see Lukas joking around with Ebba, teasing. Smiling. He seemed carefree about it and you were hit with an ache in your chest.

You rubbed at it but it just seemed to get bigger the longer you watched. It was a sort of strange stabbing feeling and then you realized: the interaction hurt you. You were jealous.

And that could not be so. You could not have feelings for Lukas. They were casual. And it was so obvious why they were now.

It was obvious why he never made it known he wanted something more. Because you were just a placeholder. As you watched, you realized you and Ebba had similar names. You both had dark hair and bangs. You imagined she was even smarter than you were. You realized that he wanted Ebba and not you.

And it hurt so terribly.

You realized that you had gained feelings for Lukas. How could you be so blind? You would have to bury those. You decided you would cut off the sex with Lukas. You would purely be friends and he would be free to be with the girl he really wanted.

Of course it wasn't you. No one ever wanted you. Not even your own family wanted you. How could you have deluded yourself into thinking Lukas wanted you? He was just a guy and he wouldn't turn down sex. But he didn't really want you. Why would he?

You weren't special. You weren't interesting. You probably bored him. You felt like crying. But you refused to cry over something that was casual. Why were you so weak and pathetic? It was stupid to feel the urge to cry over something that wasn't even real.

Why were you so stupid? Even Roman had called you that.

And maybe you were stupid but you'd be strong in the face of it. You would not cry. By the time you left, you'd made yourself so incredibly numb you thought you wouldn't feel anything even if someone had pinched you.

_____

You were at your apartment in New York. You were going back to London tomorrow. You had just taken a shower and were in a towel when you answered the door to find Lukas.

His eyes raked over you and you couldn't help but like it. But be excited that he liked how you looked. But apparently there was someone he liked looking at more.

"Hey," you managed a small smile as you let him in.

"Hey, cutie," he grinned and your stomach completely flipped at the nickname. You kept cool and merely blinked at the nickname before turning away from him.

You made your way to the kitchen to get a glass of water. His steps haunted yours and his fingers immediately took their place caressing shapes into the small of your back that was completely bare. You shivered and he chuckled. You flushed red.

Once you were in the kitchen, he wrapped his arms around you from behind you. He muttered against your ear, "Since we're both stuck in this city tonight, I figured we could stay stuck together, you know. I mean, if you want. Is that okay?"

He was asking to stay tonight. You swallowed and said nonchalantly, "Okay."

He grinned and he kissed the side of your head. Then he nuzzled his nose against your neck before he started to kiss the water droplets off your skin as he blazed a trail down your neck. And when he cupped your breasts through the towel, squeezing, you could not help but let out a low moan.

Lukas then started to tug at your towel which gave you some clarity. No sex with Lukas. You moved forward, away from his hold as you readjusted the towel around you, tightening it after it had loosened.

You repeated the rule in your head as you uttered, "I don't...I don't want to have sex tonight."

You muttered an excuse, a lie, "I'm sore."

You felt his presence behind you as he stepped towards you. You felt his hands on your shoulders as he started to massage them and you sighed a bit before he said in concern, "Did I hurt you?"

You shook your head.

"Ella, look at me."

You turned your head to the side and looked at him for a moment, "No, you didn't hurt me. I...I just meant in general. Like I'm tired."

"Alright," Lukas nodded. "Well, we can just sleep then. Does that sound okay? I like...sleeping next to you. It's the only time I can fucking get any sleep, you know...."

Lukas was rambling. About you to you. You felt like you were going to hyperventilate. Why was he saying these things? Did he mean any of them?

"Ella," he seemed to notice the change in your state.

You breathed out, "That sounds okay."

He smiled before scooping you up, making you gasp. He held you bridal style before carrying you to your bedroom and setting down on the bed. He went to climb in with you but you stopped him.

"Wait, Lukas," you hesitated. "I...I wanted a glass of water."

"Okay," he nodded before he caressed your cheek with a wide grin. "Anything, Ella. Anything you want. It's yours. I'll get you anything."

You thought his pupils looked really dilated. Was he high? You furrowed your eyebrows before placing your hand over his on your cheek and smiling politely, "Okay. Thank you. But I just want water right now."

"Water," he nodded, looking at you like a puppy, before planting a kiss on your cheek and then leaving the room to get you a glass of water.

He did so.

Then he climbed into bed with you and wrapped his arms around you. You had gotten rid of the towel. It wasn't like he hadn't seen you naked. You decided that this really was okay. You weren't going to have sex with him but if he wanted to look at you and wish that he could, you weren't going to stop him. Because if he wanted to truly be with you, he would say something.

But he didn't.

AN: so Lukas is 100% a baby trapper; like that fits him so well. Ella will figure it out later on but that's in the future quite a bit