That night, Lee had a visitor in his dreams.

He stood in an empty field with a blue sky and green grass. The dream world was fuzzy, given that Lee's mind wasn't constructing it from a specific memory, but from a hypothetical knowledge. A stuttering wind blew past him, but he couldn't feel it in this dream state. He simply knew that wind was blowing. What did wind feel like, again?

Lee took a step forward and peered through the long grass. There was something down there, something sitting in the dirt. Lee knelt down to get a closer look.

"Hi there, Blind Eye," said Bill Cipher.

The triangle lay on the ground, blending in with the dirt around him. His body was a dull grey, but little patches of glowing yellow poked through the stony surface. His single eye stared up at Lee.

"Hey, Bill," said Lee. He held out a hand, and Bill took it, pulling himself into the air so that he floated a foot away from Lee's face.

"You're dreaming," Bill said kindly. "Remember, you can only talk with me in dreams."

Lee snapped into lucidity. "Oh," he said, a little discombobulated from the experience. Then he deflated. "I thought I was actually outside."

Bill floated forward and put a hand on Lee's shoulder. "Unfortunately not," he said. "Hopefully you'll get some sun soon, though."

Lee just shrugged.

"Hey, I had an idea," Bill said. "It'll sound weird at first, but hear me out."

"What is it?"

Bill floated to the ground and patted it, gesturing for Lee to sit. He did, and Bill sat next to him, his thin black legs stretching in front of him.

"Percy's worried about you," Bill said. "He feels he has to constantly watch you to make sure you don't hurt yourself. And his fears aren't unfounded — you keep trying to escape. You keep hurting yourself."

Lee shrugged again, uncomfortably. "Yeah, well," he said, "according to him, I'm a danger to myself. So that shouldn't be surprising."

"What if I could help you be less of a danger to yourself?"

Lee didn't want to perk up, but he did. Kind of like how he didn't want to believe what Percy told him, but he did.

"You seem interested."

Another shrug. Try not to look intrigued.

Bill wasn't fooled by the act. "I could make a deal with you," he said. "If you stop trying to escape, I could redirect your attention somewhere else. You'd be comfortable in the Order; you'd be comfortable without your memory."

Lee shot him a wary look. "How would you do that?"

"When people let me, I can change their brain chemistry. I can exaggerate some mental pathways or suppress others."

Now Lee really perked up. "Wait! Could you restore my memory?"

"No," Bill said sadly. "Those pathways have been destroyed entirely. I can only work with what's already there."

Lee stared at him. The dream world darkened.

"Calm down," Bill said. "Calm down, or you'll wake yourself up. I can't restore your memory, but I can help you adapt to your situation. I can suppress your desire to get your memory back."

Lee's expression closed into skepticism. "Why would I want that? I need my memory back!"

"You can't get it back," Bill said. "It's impossible. Why destroy yourself by pining after something you can't have? Your best option is to make a deal with me. You stop trying to escape. I make your situation more bearable."

Lee hesitated. The dream wind stormed around him, whipping through the grass, though he still couldn't feel it. He reminded himself to calm down, or he'd wake up. He didn't want to wake up yet.

"I'll think about it," he finally said. "Could you. . . Can you take me on another adventure?"

Bill gazed at him benevolently. "Of course I can," he said. "Where would you like to go?"

"Surprise me."

So Bill did. He changed the dream world around them until it was a fantastic landscape, full of bright colors and beautiful creatures. Then Bill and Lee spent an exhilarating time exploring this new world and basking in its light. Ever since Lee had met Bill, the triangle had provided these kinds of dreams for him. Given that Lee didn't have the memory to construct fantastic dreams, Bill stepped in and built the dream world for him. It was the closest Lee got to being outside, and he lived for these times.

Their time together ended far too quickly, as it always did. "You're about to wake up," Bill informed Lee. "I have to leave you. Think about my offer, all right?"

Right, the deal. Lee had almost forgotten about it in their adventures. "Okay," he said reluctantly. "I'll see you again soon?"

"Soon," Bill agreed.

The colors of the dream faded into blackness.

Lee sat up in bed with a jerk.

The room was entirely dark. Lee reached for a pocket flashlight provided to him by Percy and turned it on. Even such a small beam of LED light hurt Lee's eyes; he was too used to the firelight of the lanterns. He'd asked Percy once — if the Order had a functioning bathroom and kitchen, why didn't they have electric lights? Percy had replied that they did, hidden among the rock of the ceiling, but he preferred the ambiance of the lanterns. So he never turned on the electric lights, and Lee quickly became accustomed to firelight.

But, he was stuck with this pocket flashlight until someone came to light his lantern. He'd asked Percy for matches so he could light his own lantern. Percy had given him the flashlight, but he had refused him a matchbox. After Lee's attempt with the kitchen knife, what could he do with open flame?

With this thought came a prick of guilt. What had Lee become, that he couldn't be trusted around knives or fire? He didn't like hurting himself — but he was so desperate that he did it anyway. No wonder Percy couldn't trust him. He was dangerous.

Maybe. . . maybe if he took Bill's deal, he wouldn't try to hurt himself anymore.

No. No, Lee, don't give up like that. He turned off his flashlight and flopped back onto his pillow, trying and failing to redirect his thoughts. The darkness surrounded him for some time — until he heard his doorknob turn. He jumped to a sitting position and clicked on his flashlight.

It was Percy. Lee's momentary panic subsided.

"Good morning," Percy said genially. He carried a fire-lit lantern, which he used to replace the lantern above Lee's bed. He wore a winter coat, with another coat draped over his arm. Reaching into his coat pocket, he pulled out a small ink brush, then gestured for Lee to offer his wrist.

Lee held out his left arm. "Are you adding the kitchen?" Percy hadn't come back yesterday to do so.

"Not yet," Percy said. "I'm redoing the hex so you're allowed within fifty feet of me."

Lee frowned and pulled his arm back. "Why?"

Percy smiled at him. "We're going outside," he said.

"Wait, really?" Lee stared at Percy as excitement blossomed in his chest.

Percy nodded, and he gestured for Lee's arm again. Lee held it out, and Percy deactivated the hex with a touch. The black ink faded from Lee's wrist.

Immediately, Lee thought about running away. He could stand up, push Percy aside, and run out of here. He could run up the entryway stairs and to the outside world.

As if reading his thoughts, Percy said softly, "I hope I don't have to cuff you."

Lee deflated. "No," he murmured, and he couldn't bring himself to meet Percy's eyes. He didn't have to look to imagine the disappointment found therein.

So he stared at his left wrist instead. Percy redrew the hex: a network of complex brushstrokes that made Lee a bit dizzy. How did Percy remember the patterns? Lee had never seen him consult a book or anything.

"There," Percy said as he finished the final stroke. The completed hex flashed green, then faded to black. Percy put the ink brush back into his pocket and held out his extra coat. "I don't know if this will fit you, but it's an old one of mine, and I think you're about my size. I'll let you get changed."

He left the room. Lee's new hex didn't give a warning glow, so Percy stayed within fifty feet — probably just outside the door. In a flurry of excitement, Lee got dressed and pulled the coat on. It fit fairly well.

This was it. This was really happening. Lee was finally going outside.

He threw open the door with giddy anticipation. "Let's go."

Like he'd thought, Percy had been waiting for him in the hallway. An easy smile split his face as he regarded Lee. "This way."

Lee followed; he was so excited that he hardly noticed where they were going. Then he realized — they were going away from the door. Away from the stairs that led to the outside world.

"Percy? I thought we were going outside."

"We are," Percy replied, "but through a different way." He led Lee through the Order to a passage he had never seen before. "In here."

"What's this?"

"This passage connects the Order headquarters to the Northwest manor," Percy said. "Not many people know about it, but it's how Gaston gets here so fast when he's needed."

Lee frowned. "Right. To wipe memories."

He'd known for some time that the Order existed to wipe people's memory of the supernatural. That Gaston's amulet could reach into people's minds and erase their memories. Not only had this horrified Lee when he'd first found out, but he instantly thought that Gaston had wiped his memory. This suspicion had lasted about a month, until Bill Cipher convinced him that Gaston couldn't even see into Lee's mind, much less wipe his memory. And Percy reminded Lee that they found him unconscious, after his memory was already gone. "We never wipe people's memories entirely," he'd said. "We simply relieve their fears about the dangerous creatures out there. We didn't cause your amnesia."

The explanation would have to do. Supposedly, Bill never lied, and Percy didn't seem to have a malicious bone in his body. It didn't make sense that he would intentionally burden himself with the care of Lee by causing his amnesia — he simply took care of Lee out of the kindness of his heart.

And now, again out of kindness, he was taking Lee outside. Out to see the sun.

The two men went through the passage and emerged through a tapestry into a thickly carpeted hallway, lined with more tapestries. Lee stared down at the carpet in wonder — was this the first time he'd seen carpet since waking up six months ago? He wanted to take off his shoes and feel the threads beneath his feet.

Then Percy waved for him to follow, so he did.

After descending a staircase, Percy led Lee down a series of hallways, then down a second set of stairs. They passed busy servants as they went, and Lee took in each new face.

Eventually, they came across another man, dressed far more finely than the servants. "Hello, Percy," he said. Then to Lee, "And you must be Lincoln."

"It's Lee," he replied automatically. He still didn't call himself Lincoln, even though it was the only name Percy used for him.

"Lincoln, this is Gabriel Northwest," said Percy. Gabriel held out a hand, and Lee took it.

"Percy told me that you've been wanting to go outside," Gabriel said. "You're welcome to use our grounds, though I personally would wait until it gets warmer."

"Thank you, Gabriel," said Percy. "Just through here, yes?" he added with a gesture.

Gabriel nodded, and Percy led Lee through a nearby door.

A door that led outside.

When Percy said the weather was "quite dismal", he wasn't lying. The sky was overcast, but the clogged sunlight still hurt Lee's lantern-accustomed eyes. A sharp wind blew through the air, carrying frenzied snowflakes on its tail.

It was amazing.

Lee broke into a run, headed for a distant gate. He was finally outside. He could run and run, and no one could stop him. He could get out of here, get into the world, find his memory—

He slammed to a stop.

No. No! Not the barrier, not again, not here. Lee struggled against the magic, and panic welled up inside him as his exuberance at being outside was squelched by this reminder that he was still a prisoner. This couldn't be happening — he was finally outside, finally free—

"Lincoln," Percy called.

Lee stopped pushing against the barrier long enough to look back. Percy was still standing by the doorway, fifty feet away. He didn't move.

No. No. Lee pushed against the barrier again. He had to keep running. He refused to be kept on a leash.

"Lincoln," came the call again. "Lincoln, stop; you're only hurting yourself."

"Then come closer!" he yelled back.

"Not until you back away."

Well, Lee didn't particularly want Percy to come closer; he wanted to get through the barrier. He pushed against it with everything he had. It surrounded him like jelly, getting denser the further he pushed into it. Invisible magic crackled like static shocks against his skin.

"Lincoln, please: Don't do this. Don't ruin your time out here."

Though the wind whipped against his coat, though the cold seeped through his jeans, Lee didn't feel it. He only felt the suffocating blanket of the magic around him as it stopped him from breaking free of the hex. It was just like all those other times, down in the enclosed halls of the Order, trying to get through another barrier that felt just like this one. . . .

"Please stop," Percy said. His voice carried on the wind until he seemed closer to Lee than he actually was. Hot tears sprang up in Lee's eyes; whether they were from emotion, wind, or physical pain, he didn't know.

Percy wasn't going to move, it seemed. And Lee, though he tried so desperately, still could not breach the barrier.

So, finally, he moved away.

The magic spit him out with a final indignant shock. Lee managed to keep his balance, though he felt like collapsing in despair. Miserably, he glanced to his left wrist as the green glow faded from his hex.

Then there was a hand on his shoulder. Percy had run over to him to comfort him. Mangled gratitude coursed through Lee as he let his captor — his caregiver — envelop him in an embrace. The wind and snow swirled around them as they stood there together.

"I'm sorry," Percy whispered. "This isn't how I wanted this to go. I'll stay by your side now. You can go wherever you like on the grounds, and I'll be there with you."

"Don't leave me," Lee replied, even though he wanted nothing more in that moment than to never see Percy again. "Don't leave me." His body shook. Or maybe it was just the wind.

"I won't," Percy promised. He moved back so he could look Lee in the face. "We're outside now. We have this whole yard. What do you want to do?"

"I want to run," Lee said immediately. He wanted to feel the stinging wind in his face and know that he was doing something. He wanted to move.

"Okay," Percy said. "Lead the way."

So they ran. It wasn't the same as running through Bill's dreamscapes: It was better. Now, Lee could feel his legs moving. He could feel his heart pumping. He could feel the wind as it coarsely caressed his face. He could feel the snow as it landed on his cheeks and eyelashes.

He could, for the first time in six months, feel alive.

The two men ran until they were out of energy, while Percy kept an easy pace with Lee. When Lee stumbled to a stop, panting, Percy clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Feeling better?"

Lee took a few gasping breaths. "I want to do that all the time."

"If you ran all the time, you'd collapse with exhaustion," Percy replied facetiously.

Lee rolled his eyes, but he couldn't resist a bit of a smile. "You know what I meant."

"I do," Percy said, "and Gabriel is willing to work something out with us so that you can come here more often. Shall we go back in and talk to him, or do you want to stay out here for a while longer?"

Lee wanted to stay, so they did. It was exhilarating: For once, Percy was letting Lee call the shots. Even though it was freezing out here, even though he probably wanted to go inside, Percy was willing to stay with Lee. To stay outside.

They headed to a nearby hedge, where they brushed the snow off of a stone bench and sat down. For a while, they simply sat in silence, shivering in the wind as it danced around their winter coats.

"Is it what you imagined?" asked Percy.

"No," Lee replied. "I didn't imagine much." He closed his eyes. "I couldn't remember what wind felt like. But. . . but now that I'm in it, I can't imagine ever forgetting." He opened his eyes and turned his head to Percy. "Thank you."

Percy reached out and took Lee's hand. "You're welcome."

They fell into silence. Percy let go of Lee's hand, and the two men sat there in the biting wind.

Then, "Why do you think you ran?" asked Percy.

Lee shot him a confused glance. "Because I wanted to get some exercise?"

"Forgive me, poor choice of words. I meant at first, when you tried to escape."

Guilt and anger sputtered to life in Lee's stomach. He looked away.

"We have this whole yard," Percy said. "Why, at the first opportunity, try to get away? You knew the limits of the hex."

The whistling of the wind filled the silence.

"Lincoln?"

"I saw freedom, all right?" Lee replied, frustration lacing his voice. "I saw the outside world, and I saw freedom, and I wanted it. I wanted to get away."

"But you have freedom," Percy said. "You just got a good run in, and you looked free as a bird to me."

"Birds can fly over that wall," Lee said, and he waved to the distant wall that surrounded the Northwest grounds.

"True," Percy conceded.

"So I'm not free."

Percy didn't answer for a long moment. "Cipher told me about his offer to you," he finally said.

The toxic mix of guilt and anger and fear and desperation swirled inside of Lee. "You mean his offer to make me the perfect prisoner, so you won't have to worry about me anymore?"

"This isn't about me," Percy replied. "You're destroying yourself, Lincoln. I think if you—"

"You're destroying me!" Lee snapped. "My amnesia is destroying me! I need my memory back, not some stupid deal with Bill!"

"You can't get your memory back," Percy said quietly, sadly. "Cipher told you the pathways were gone, didn't he? There is no way to restore your memory."

"Shut up," Lee demanded. "Don't say that."

"You know it's true."

A rush of anger sent Lee to his feet. "I don't care!" he shouted, and he stormed off.

Of course he cared. But he didn't want to think about it. Even though he told Bill he'd consider his offer, Lee had attempted to shove it from his mind since he woke up that morning. Now, it all came back to him at a dizzying speed: The paralyzing idea that, true to Bill's word, Lee's memory really was gone forever. The guilt that, even with Percy's kindness in bringing him outside, Lee had still tried to escape at the first opportunity. And, finally, the faint hope that this deal with Bill really could make life bearable.

"Lincoln." Percy had followed him, and now he moved to look Lee in the eye. "The deal sounds sensible to me — even merciful. You won't hurt yourself with ineffective escape attempts. You won't get distracted by this constant desire for what you can't have. You'll no longer be haunted by your lost memory. Cipher is offering you a new chance."

"A chance to do what? Sit around and stare at a stone ceiling all day?"

"Of course not," Percy said. "Look at where you are! We're outside! Once I redraw the hex, you'll have more freedom than ever! Are you really going to ruin it by fighting for more?"

Lee looked away.

"This deal is a wonderful opportunity from Cipher," Percy finished. "I think you'll be a lot happier if you take it."

Lee leaned forward into the wind. "Wouldn't I be happier outside, too?"

"You are outside." Lee could hear the frown in Percy's voice.

That disappointed tone managed to check him. "Right," he said hurriedly, not wanting to seem ungrateful. "Outside the walls, I mean. Out in town."

He glanced up to see Percy shake his head. "No, I don't think you'd be at all happier there," his caregiver said. "You can't get your memory back. Cipher confirmed as much. You would get out there and then be miserable as you tried to find it."

Lee knew what came next. "And then I'd hurt people out of anger," he said quietly. Shame arose in his chest.

Percy nodded slowly. "With this deal, a lot of your anger and rash desires would be gone. It would make you a lot less dangerous."

When Lee didn't respond, Percy patted his shoulder. "Let's go inside," he suggested. "I've enjoyed being out here with you, but I've been frozen for quite some time."

With the relentless wind on his face, Lee had to agree. He stood up, and the men went inside through the same door they came out. A rush of warm air greeted them, flushing their faces and sending droplets of snow dripping off their coats. Lee blew on his numbed fingers, and they tingled in the heat.

Percy led Lee to the kitchens, where they found a cook ready with hot chocolate for them. Lee sipped the burning liquid with reverence, for this was the first time he'd had hot chocolate since losing his memory. Receiving deliciousness by price of a burned tongue felt natural to Lee, despite having no particular memories of it.

The cook told them where to find Gabriel, so they went in search of him after finishing their hot chocolate. Upon finding him, they worked out arrangements for Lee to return to the Northwest grounds: So long as he left whenever asked, he was welcome to come. Lee's earlier anger subsided as he imagined all the new freedoms he would have here. His heart fluttered hopefully in his ribcage.

After their conversation with Gabriel, they went back to the Order. Lee's mood sank a bit when he re-entered the stone passages of the compound, but it rose again when Percy offered to redo the hex. Now, the boundaries would include the kitchen and the Northwest Manor.

Lee's stomach buzzed with excitement.

After Percy redid the hex, Lee immediately wanted to go to the kitchen. "Do you want me to find you a different coat, or does that one work?" Percy asked as they walked together.

"This one works," Lee replied.

"Good."

They came to a stop outside the kitchen. Lee took half a step inside, just to make sure he could.

"I have to go now," Percy said, "but whatever you make in there, save some for me, all right?"

"Will do," Lee replied.

"And I won't have to rush back here to save you from yourself again, will I?"

Lee glanced down at his wrist. The new hex design still glistened with fresh ink.

"No," he said decisively. He might be tempted, but he wouldn't give in to those urges. He wouldn't maim himself to escape, no matter his desperation.

Percy nodded and smiled. "I'll see you tonight, then." He left.

Lee spent the rest of the day cooking. The Northwest cook had given him some recipes to try out, but he found he liked experimenting with his own ideas. Even when it turned out disastrous, the food still tasted good to him — because it was his.

As he worked, he tried to keep his mind away from Bill's deal; but his efforts were in vain. With all this time on his hands, how could he not think about it?

This deal would make Lee's life easier — but it would also reinforce his status as a prisoner. It would be an acceptance of his lost memory. Intellectually, he knew that if Bill (who couldn't lie) told him his memory was gone forever, then it was gone forever. Emotionally, he refused to accept it. He couldn't accept it. He couldn't resign himself to captivity, either.

But, then, did his resignation change anything? When he really thought about it, when he looked reality in the face, did his resistance do anything to help his situation? Six months of fighting, and he hadn't gotten out of here. The hex served as his relentless warden, refuting any attempts at escape. It seemed hopeless.

Maybe if Bill changed Lee's mind for him, then he wouldn't be so desperate, so despairing.

If Bill changed Lee's mind, though, then Lee would have to promise to stop his escape attempts. At first, he thought he could take Bill's deal and then break it at the first opportunity for escape. But something deep inside of him told him that it wouldn't work. That if he took Bill's deal, he'd have to keep his side.

He didn't have to make the deal, right? He had so much more room to roam now. He could make his own food, go outside practically whenever he wanted, and talk to the people up in the Northwest Manor. The loneliness, the boredom, the feeling of being trapped — those were all in the past.

No, he decided. He wouldn't take Bill's deal. He didn't need it. He was, if not entirely free, more free: That would make him happier. Then, with more freedom, maybe he could make his escape. Maybe he could get his memory back after all.

It was a masterful self-deception.

Lee almost believed it.