SUMMER 1969

When Fidds stepped down from the bus, he felt like he was floating.

The bus driver retrieved Fidds' luggage from the storage compartment, and Fidds didn't even harp on him to be careful with the case that held the exoskeleton. He was too busy breathing in the familiar Tennessee air and holding back tears as he realized that, after a whole year, he was home.

A minute later, he realized the bus driver had set his suitcases nearby and was now climbing back into the bus. "Thank you," Fidds called as his ride pulled away.

The town appeared to have remained the same for the entire year Fidds had been gone. He walked slowly down the streets (partly to relish the sights, but mostly because his suitcases were cumbersome), and he wondered where he should go first: home, to put down his things and kiss his mother, or Lilith's shack, to give her the exoskeleton?

A car horn pulled him out of his thoughts. He jumped at the sudden noise, looking around wildly. A voice called, "Fiddleford! You're home!"

Fidds turned to the voice. "Ma!" he said, surprised. "You — you have a car?"

Mrs. McGucket pulled over, got out of her sleek little car, and hurried over on short-heeled Oxfords. She pulled Fidds into a hug. "Oh, Fidds, it's wonderful. I got a job with a makeup company, and now I have a car and new clothes and everything!"

Since the time of her husband's death, she'd worked a thankless secretarial job. Now things seemed a lot better. "That's great!" said Fidds.

Together, the McGuckets lifted Fidds' luggage into the trunk of the car, and Fidds swung into shotgun. Just like that, his decision on where to go was made for him — he went home with his mother, told her somewhat about his first year at college, heard a lot about her new life selling makeup and jewelry, and ate a good home-cooked meal for the first time since he'd left. It wasn't until the next morning that he had time to visit Lilith.

With the newly risen sun peeking through his window, Fidds gingerly lifted his exoskeleton from its case. Thankfully, it was still intact, though he had to make some adjustments as he fitted it onto himself. For the sake of his class project (which he'd scored highly on), he'd built the exoskeleton to support him. When he gave it to Lilith, he'd adjust it to fit her.

With the exoskeleton on his legs, Fidds grabbed its case and went to the kitchen to get some food. He ate a muffin and packed two lunches — one for him and one for Lilith, who admired Mrs. McGucket's cooking (though the cook had no knowledge of this). "I'm leaving, Ma! I'll be back for dinner!"

His ma hollered back in the affirmative, and Fidds left.

The summer weather was beautiful. Fidds whistled as he walked, and the clanking of the exoskeleton provided percussion to his tune. This was it! He was finally going to see Lilith again!

He was halfway up the hill that led to her shack when he saw her.

It seemed she hadn't learned to fly yet. She crested the hill, hobbling on her cane, and didn't see him at first. Then he called her name, and she stopped, squinting down at him. "Fiddleford?"

"Lilith!" He ran up the hill — slower than usual so as to not mess up the exoskeleton, as he'd built it more for walking than for running. "Lilith, I'm home!"

She met him halfway, moving as fast as she could with her cane. Her free arm flew out to hug him, but she stumbled on the slope of the hill. Fidds caught her with a small, joyful laugh. "Let's get somewhere more stable," he suggested.

"I was just on my way into town," she said, leaning against him. "But I can do that later. Let's go back to the shack."

Fidds offered to help her, but as soon as she had her balance again, she pushed him off. She never did like getting help. Well, with this exoskeleton, she wouldn't need help! Fidds was bursting to tell her, but he waited until they made it to her shack.

Once there, Lilith gave Fidds a big hug — oh, how he'd missed her hugs! — and sat on her folding chair, which was out on the makeshift porch. "So," she said once she was settled, "what's that on your legs?"

A huge grin split Fidds' face. "This is my project," he said. "I did it for class last semester. It's an exoskeleton."

Instead of looking excited or even intrigued, as he'd imagined, Lilith looked wary. "Is it now," she said. Maybe she didn't understand what he meant?

"Yes'm," he said excitedly. He put out a leg to show her. "I built it for you. A-as a present. If you put it on, it'll help you walk without a cane, faster than ever!"

He looked up to her with delighted eyes, only to be met with guarded ones. "Oh," she said simply.

Fidds' grin slipped into a frown. "Lilith? What's wrong?"

Lilith closed her eyes and reached out a hand. Confused, Fidds took the hand, and Lilith rubbed at it. "Oh, Fiddleford," she said, eyes still closed. "Thank you for thinking of me."

He was caught off guard by her reaction, but now he smiled again. "Of course. Here—" He pulled his hand away, sat down on the dirt, and started undoing the straps of the exoskeleton.

"I don't want it."

Fidds stopped. "What?"

"Don't need it. Imma learn to fly."

"I-I know," Fidds said, "but this'll help you walk. Y-you'll need it to go out in public. People don't like things that are different. You'll need this, even if you—" He stopped himself, his eyes widening.

Lilith caught the words. "Even if?" she asked, her eyes snapping open. "Even if I learn to fly?"

"N-no, Lilith, I know you can, but—"

"I'm going to fly," Lilith said, and her tone brooked no argument. "I'm so close. And when I learn to fly, I'll never have to be around people who judge me for the color of my skin or the way that I walk, and it won't matter no more if I use a cane."

"Then it won't matter if you use an exoskeleton, either!" Fidds protested. He finished taking it off and got to his feet, holding it out to Lilith. "I-I made it for you, it'll make it easier, it'll make it less painful—"

"Fiddleford." Lilith looked at him with a touch of worry in her eyes. "Fidds, do you still believe in the powers of the mind?"

The question hit him hard. It was exactly what he was hoping wouldn't come up.

"Do you not think I can fly?" Lilith asked when he didn't answer. "Have you abandoned your powers?"

"N-no!" Fidds said. A knot twisted in his stomach. "No, I still write in my dream journal, I still have lucid dreams, I've seen the ether move to affect me—"

"So you still believe in your powers," Lilith said. "Do you believe in mine?"

Fidds hesitated.

The longer he remained silent, the darker Lilith's expression grew. She opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off. "It's not that I don't believe in you!" he said. "I've seen the powers of the mind, I know some parts of them are real — but I haven't seen dreams come into reality. I haven't seen what you promised me. I couldn't get rid of the bullies, I couldn't stop my elementary school teachers from being mean to me, I couldn't make Ma happy after Pa died. I couldn't change the world around me."

Lilith raised an eyebrow. "You think after just a decade of learnin', you could do all that?"

"That's what you told me! You made it sound like I could stop the bullies right away! But now I'm in college, and I still get bullied sometimes, and my 'powers of the mind' don't help!" Suddenly, all the doubts he'd run into since going to college were piling up in his throat and pushing out of his mouth. He'd never said any of this aloud before, just quietly doubted whether some of Lilith's promises were real. The things he'd seen results for — like lucid dreaming — were great, but he'd never seen results for controlling bullies or flying or anything like that.

"It's gotten better," Lilith said.

"Because I grew up, not because I unlocked reality-defying powers!" Fidds held out the exoskeleton. "Please listen," he pleaded. "If anyone can fly, Lilith, it's you. But I — I don't know if that's real. This—" He shook the exoskeleton lightly. "—this is real. You can use it even if you can't fly."

"I'm going to fly," Lilith insisted. She pushed the exoskeleton away. "And I can make it less painful to walk, too, without your fancy contraption. I don't need help."

"Yes, you do!" Fidds shouted.

The area fell silent. Even the birds stopped chirping.

A terrible pain twisted on Lilith's face. "Is that how you think of me?" she asked quietly. "I'm not a friend — I'm just a sad black cripple who needs help. Is that it?"

"N-no, Lilith, you're my friend, you're my best friend—"

"Then why can't you believe me?" she demanded. "Why'd you have to make me something — a gift — that would make me more like you and less like me? Why'd you have to go off to college and come back thinking you know all the answers? I don't want your solutions, Fiddleford! I want—" Her voice cracked. "I wanted your friendship."

Her words echoed off the walls of her decrepit shack, falling on Fidds' ears like blows to the head. He stared at her in anguish, his mind reeling over everything that had gone wrong.

"You — you have my friendship," he finally managed.

Lilith looked at him sadly. "That was my hope," she said.

"It's real!" Fidds grabbed her hand. "It's here! Please, Lilith, I've been so lonely. And now I'm back, I'm here, we can be friends, I'm sorry I doubted your powers, I really do believe in you—"

"Then take that thing away." She pointed at the exoskeleton with her free hand. "I don't want trinkets. Just be with me, okay? Learn with me. That's friendship."

Fidds glanced at the exoskeleton, then at her face. "I. . . I just wanted to give you a gift," he said quietly.

"I know," Lilith said. "I really am grateful, Fidds — I'm sure it's amazing. But. . ." She closed her eyes again and took a deep breath. "If I use anything to help me, I'm afraid I'll give up."

Fidds frowned. "Give up on flying? That's not like you, Lilith."

She didn't answer, and she looked more vulnerable that Fidds had seen her in. . . ever. Her hand went limp in his. Finally, she spoke reluctantly. "The pain. . . the pain of walking is my motivation, Fidds. If you take the pain away, what'll I have left?"

"A better life?" he tried.

Lilith conceded his point with a dip of her head. "But not the best life," she said. "Not the life where I fly."

Fidds bit his lip.

"It's possible," Lilith insisted. "I will do it. You've been away with no one to talk with about the ether. I understand why you doubt. But I'll help you see again."

Hesitantly, Fidds smiled. "Maybe we can finally have that shared dream."

Lilith squeezed his hand, returning his smile. "I think we already do," she said.

The knot in his stomach loosened. "We will if you help me find it again," he replied. "I. . . I'm sorry. I thought I could help you, but. . . I wasn't thinking of you as a friend."

"No, no," Lilith said. "You were. I'm sorry I said those things. Thank you for the gift. I. . . I hope you understand why I can't accept it."

He thought he did, though part of him thought she was just being stubborn. The rest of him, however, admired her for having the strength to go through all this pain for the sake of her powers.

"I understand," he said. "I'm just happy to be back with you."

She squeezed his hand again. "Me too," she said. "Me too." "