Aries: You ate too many sweets and died while having hallucinations. In other words: You followed a giant fluffy teddy bear to the cliffs and fell.

Aquarius: You tried to learn how to be manly with the multi bear. But it was too hard for you.

Capricorn: You tried to cook and accidentally poisoned yourself.... "Wasted"

Cancer: You experimented with some of Fords stuff but you accidentally stopped time and now dont know how to end that.

Gemini: You were the Person who helped Stanford built the portal. But when he activated it it sucked you in.

Leo: Your worst nightmare came to life in which you got eaten by a giant spider

Libra: You are not dead yet, just trapped inside one of Bill's dream Bubbles.

Pisces: You accidentally got into a fight with Rumble. He now has a new high score.

Sagittarius: During Weirdmageddon you tried to save Gravity Falls. But Bill Cipher was faster than you and put you with a snap onto another planet. I guess you can guess what happened afterwards. (*cough no oxygen)

Scorpio: After binge watching all seasons of Ducktective you died of starvation.

Taurus: You met Mermando and fell in love with him. You built something which let's you breathe underwater. Well, you forgot that you still had to fill it up with oxygen after some time. At least the fish get a (happy) meal.

Virgo: You travelled through time with Blendins Equipment. He was more than angry when he found you. He put you back in the year 1000.

A/N
It's so hard to write eleven different ways to die in Gravits Falls. I should call this chapter "Dumb ways to die"