Dipper, Mabel, Soos, Wendy, Ford, and Stan all waited for Blendin to return impatiently in the Mystery Shack.

"How long have we had an uncle?" Dipper wondered.

"This is like last year when we found out there were two Stans!" Soos reminded them.

"It can't be possible. Can it?" Ford asked himself, still processing his nephew being alive.

"Stanford explain what you know about this!" Stan demanded.

Wendy sighed. "Look, guys, I'm thinking I'll help Melody deal with any potential tourists. You guys clearly have some important stuff going on."

"Wendy you deserve to hear it too! This is just as important for you!" Mabel told her.

"Kid I could care less about this stuff. I like to keep it simple, complicating it with all these old guys is pointless. I'll catch you dudes on the flip side." Wendy said and she walked outside.

"Wendy has a point. We do have a complicated life." Dipper noted.

"Look I promise I'll explain everything I just need to see him with my own eyes," Ford assured everyone.

Stan shrugged and walked into the kitchen, returning with a case of Pit Cola. "Whatever Ford. We're all along for the ride on this one. Even I don't know what's going on, only Shermy I know is our older brother."

"Older brother? This better all align with my theory and clear up all the timeline confusion!" Soos told them.

Before anyone could react Blendin returned. "Alright everyone, presenting the new and improved, formerly known as Shermy Pines, Archer!"

Nothing happened.

"Oh shoot he must be delayed, wait a moment," Blendin told them.

Not a second later Archer appeared. He was wearing a black tee-shirt, black shorts, a black hood over his curly brown hair, and black hiking boots. Slung over his shoulder was a quiver and a bow, he was taller than anyone else in the room and stared at everyone with cold silver eyes.

Ford fell to his knees. "Shermy..."

Theme Song.

https://youtu.be/Z6usKhzL8uI

Commercial.

"My name isn't Shermy anymore. Didn't Blendin tell you? It's Archer now." Archer corrected Ford.

"Whoa, are you sure we're related to him because he's a hunk." Mabel singsonged.

Dipper made a retching sound. "Mabel gross! He's our uncle!"

"This dude is super cool! And look at the muscles! He's probably got his own anime!" Soos remarked.

"Ford who are these... Children?" Archer asked, unsure of what to call Soos.

Ford stood, recollecting himself. "They're your niece and nephew, except for the man-child he's a stranger."

"Would someone explain what's going on?" Stan asked.

"Uncle Stan? Wow, you're old." Archer stated.

Stan narrowed his eyes. "Ford why is this kid calling me 'Uncle' and how come I have no clue who he is?"

"Wait! Is he Ford's kid?" Soos gasped.

Ford raised an eyebrow. "What? No, he's Sherman's son."

"Plot twist!" Mabel shouted.

"This is getting more confusing by the second," Dipper concluded.

"Just get on with the backstory!" Stan shouted.

"I was getting to that! Well, it was over forty years ago...

Flashback.

A picture showed Stan, Ford, their parents, and another person. He resembled Archer quite a bit and was significantly older than Stan and Ford.

"Our brother Sherman was older by ten years and while we were finishing high school and about to have our falling out he'd already been in medical school for years and had a wife and two sons, one of them was your father Daniel, who was six at the time, and the other was Shermy."

"Shermy was just a newborn back then, but Sherman and his wife were both working towards becoming doctors so sometimes they'd leave Shermy with our parents when they were too busy. Meanwhile, they'd often take Daniel to a daycare because he wasn't as high maintenance. It was then I realized how amazing it would be to have an apprentice. I figured if my research took me to big places I could teach Shermy what I knew a few years down the line."

"Fast forward twelve years and I'd been undergoing my research for quite some time in Gravity Falls Shermy had been growing up and I'd almost forgotten about my idea to teach him what I'd learned. But that's when fate gave me a reminder..."

The mailman knocked on Ford's door, he ran over to answer it and was handed a postcard. It was a picture of Daniel, now eighteen, Sherman, his wife, and twelve-year-old Shermy.

"I quickly contacted Sherman and offered to have Shermy visit for the summer, Sherman was more than happy and sent his son up to Gravity Falls. There I taught Shermy all about the weirdness of Gravity Falls, we made many breakthroughs together."

Ford and Shermy were on a boat when the Gobblewonker rose from the water and roared, Shermy snapped a photo while Ford kept it from destroying their boat with one foul swoop by firing a harpoon at it.

Later on, they were being surrounded by zombies in the Mystery Shack and Shermy accidentally hit play on the radio next to him. Music began playing and the zombies started to explode one by one. Ford and Shermy look at each other and grinned.

Another time they were exploring the woods when they stumbled upon a woodpecker pecker and a stomach faced duck in the same location. They each grabbed a paper and began sketching a different anomaly.

"I started to get curious, running dangerous experiments that I still regret to this day. One fateful night one of my horrific creations got restless, Shermy was going to check on it when..." Shermy was in the basement, checking the containment unit for one of the experiments. A laser destroyed the containment unit and the monster swiftly flew away into the shadows, destroying the other two units and freeing the remaining experiments. Shermy was surrounded by the three angry monsters, the biggest one moved to crush him and he screamed at the top of his lungs.

"After that I chased the monsters, ready to destroy them. They ran into the woods but I couldn't go on, I had to find Shermy. I figured they were so wounded they'd die off so I went back into the lab, ready for the worst. But there were no signs Shermy had ever been there. I looked everywhere but his body was nowhere to be found."

"Afterwards I worried what his parents would think, and how I would explain everything that had happened. So I broadcast a frequency that would wipe the entire world's memory of Shermy's existence. I then moved on to easily infiltrating the government and destroying any and all files along with removing him from any photos in Sherman's house. I made sure to cover up any place anything about Shermy appeared in until I was sure the job was done. And when it was, I vowed I would never drag another soul into the weirdness that was Gravity Falls. Which I promptly broke and invited Fiddleford, corrupting his mind and almost ending the world.

Flashback end.

Commercial.

"Wow, that explains so much about the timeline!" Soos stated.

Dipper stood there in shock. "I was supposed to be the replacement assistant!?"

"You erased our nephew and never told me!" Stan shouted.

"I know it was wrong but what did you want me to do? I didn't know where he was and if the Government got involved and found out what experiments I'd be running the whole town would be in jeopardy." Ford defended himself.

"Now I'm sure you're all wondering: 'Where does Blendin come into this?' And 'How is Archer alive now?' Well, do I have a story for you! Blendin story time!"

"Oh boy, here we go." Archer sighed.

Flashback.

"It was a dark and stormy night, I had just watched Bill destroy Time Baby and escaped into the future. There I saw the world was in a new chaos, one that needed a new hero to survive. I had the perfect candidate, Shermy Pines. I saved him from his death and took it upon myself to train him in the art of being an action hero for five years."

Archer jumped from tree to tree, firing arrows at the moving targets with perfect precision. He landed and turned to Blendin. "NOW am I ready?"

"Yes I suppose, I've trained you well Archer. You will be the great hero who will stop the new enemy rising in Gravity Falls. And the best part is I'll totally get promoted for saving the future!" Blendin said.

"Whatever. Can we just go now?" Archer asked.

Blendin shook his head. "Not yet, I must give them time in advance because this twist is so amazing it will blow their minds. Plus Quentin Trembly is returning and I really don't want to miss that."

"Of course, more delays. I train endlessly for five years and now I have to wait even longer." Archer said.

"Archer it'll literally be a second for you. Plus you can practice telling them all about the Freaksions and how they're alive!" Blendin told Archer and then he vanished in a flash of light.

"Figures. Well, I might as well prepare myself. Maybe I could just take one more of these travel devices." Archer said, moving to an equipment area. He already had a time travel watch on his wrist but he figured one more couldn't hurt.

"Perfect. It's always good to have a backup."

Flashback end.

"Wait so how did you see Archer steal the watch?" Mabel asked.

"I see everything! No really I actually knew it would happen, see before I got Archer I went ahead in time to see how Archer had progressed and saw him steal the device. But then I realized it's crucial for the second half of the series so I let it slide." Blendin explained.

"Man time travel is confusing," Dipper stated.

"You're telling me, kid. I do it for a living."

"So wait a minute. There are these crazy monsters that are coming to take over Gravity Falls and you're not going to tell us who they are?" Stan asked.

"Like a true cliffhanger! Oh, I better go! Stuff's about to go down!" Blendin vanished in a flash of light and the ground shook.

"So much for time to process all this." Dipper sighed and the group ran outside.

Outside Gutsy Bone's capsule was firing lasers from the glass and chains were whipping around destroying everything in sight.

"Hey, I remember that thing!" Mabel said.

"Gutsy Bones must've activated some sort of Time Seal. Now his machine is out for revenge." Ford said.

"Oh, man guys this looks really strong," Soos noted.

Archer smirked. "This is why Blendin chose this moment, this is my test! Time to show my skills!" Archer ran forward and began climbing a tree, he stood on one of the branches and drew his bow, firing a bunch of arrows at the machine. The machine obliterated all the arrows with one laser and fired at Archer's branch. He simply leaped over to a nearby tree and landed on another branch.

Suddenly its chains whipped forwards and wrapped around Mabel, Dipper, and Ford. Picking them up and holding them in front of Archer.

"Darn it! This thing is smart!" Archer drew a grappling arrow and attached one end to the tree he was currently on. Then he fired the arrow and it impaled itself in another tree, releasing a cord along the way which tightened. Just as the capsule fired a laser at Archer he took his bow and used it as a means to zip-line onto the other tree.

Archer landed and drew an explosive arrow, firing it at Mabel, Dipper, and Ford's chains and destroying them, making it drop the Pines family. Then he scaled the tree until he was at the very top and perched there, launching volleys of arrows at the capsule, a few of which were impaled in its glass.

Archer grinned and jumped off the tree and landed on the top of the capsule machine. "You're going down you stupid thing!" One of its remaining chains swiftly swatted him off the machine and onto the ground where two chains pursued him. Ford ran up and fired at them with some kind of electric gun, stunning the chains.

"Thanks, Ford," Archer said, standing up.

"Sher-Archer I just want you to know, I'm sorry for making everyone forget you. It wasn't right I know that. I just hope I can make it up to you some way."

"Uncle Ford, don't worry about it. I understand what you did and it was for the better. I don't blame you, I just want to go back to you being my uncle instead of my teacher. No hard feelings, honest." Archer smiled.

"Thank you, Archer." Ford hugged him for a moment. Then one chain grabbed them both, squeezing them tightly. "Right. Forgot about that."

"Great Uncle Ford! Uncle Archer!" Dipper shouted. "We need something that can destroy that glass!" Dipper tapped his forehead.

"Like my grappling hook?" Mabel suggested, holding it up.

"Yeah let's use that! Hold on Gruncle and Uncle! We're coming!" Dipper said, the twins grinned and ran towards the capsule machine.

The remaining chain lashed out at them, Dipper, without thinking, punched the chain. The chain retreated for a moment and Dipper squealed in shock. The chain moved to strike again and Dipper once again punched it. This time h was sure he heard bones crack, but he could also tell the chain was weakened.

"One more punch." Pushing through the pain Dipper punched it one more time, the chain collapsed into pieces as did Dipper's hand. "AHHHHHHH!"

Meanwhile, Mabel fired the grappling hook at the capsule machine, the glass broke and the capsule collapsed, the chain dropped Archer and Ford and the remains of the machine fell to the ground where they were obliterated.

"Wonderful job kids!" Ford commended them.

"Maybe that wasn't my test. At least I hope not." Archer muttered.

"Nah that was a Sibling Test! And look at how strong we are! Dipper punched a chain!" Mabel said.

"Yeah, dude that must've taken, like, an iron fist," Soos said.

Dipper bit his lip with tears in his eyes. "Take me to a hospital. Please."

"Please kid, I once had to break a car door down with my fists. I was fine afterward! Only took me three months to recover!" Stan told Dipper.

"No really, I think I might've done serious damage. This hurts really bad. Oh God." Dipper then promptly passed out.

"OK, maybe we should do something about that," Ford concluded.

"You won't have time to!" Eyegnome's voice screamed. He swooped down and landed in front of them. "I am the great and mighty Eyegnome!" He had the body of a gnome but bat wings on his back and he only had one giant red eye.

"It is time for the Freaksions to strike! It is time for our revenge!" Eyegnome's eye began to glow.

"Haven't we had enough massive story arcs!" Stan cried out right before Eyegnome fired a beam turning them all into stone.

"Multitaur! Carry them to our lair! It is time for our story to be told!" Eyegnome commanded, and his crony came and picked them up, carrying them off.

Commercial.

End Credits.

Wendy and Melody walked into the Mystery Shack. "Dipper? Mabel? Soos? Anyone there?"

"Where could they have gone?" Melody wondered. Waddles ran into the room squealing and then dashed outside.

"That can't be a good sign," Wendy said, and she and Melody chased after Waddles.