Epic rap battles of Gravity Falls!

Grunkle Ford (Italic Text)

Vs.

Grunkle Stan (Bold Text)

Begin!

Ford-
Thirty years dimension hopping, now I'm making my return
It's been a while, brother, but even so, you haven't learned
Obviously you collected all my journals, but you didn't even read
There were countless warnings in there that you clearly didn't heed!
After all these years apart, you finally came to "rescue" me?
Your timing couldn't have been worse, I was about to have a victory!

Stan-
I'll be honest, it HAS been a while since I've heard your whiney voice
And you know something? For me to ditch you wasn't even a choice!
The only reason that you could return at all's because of me
So you're welcome for saving your stupid self, you wouldn't have lasted another week
If I were you, I'd be more grateful, and less protective of my pride!
After all, it was you who let that demon in your mind

Ford-
It wasn't my fault I was deceived by that horrendous entity
He corrupted all my thoughts, he invaded all my dreams!

Stan-
What do you mean it's not your fault? You should 100% blame yourself
If you weren't so arrogant, for Bill's tricks you wouldn't have fell!

Ford-
Don't you mean "wouldn't have fallen?"  Better fix that grammar, Stanley
Remember that time time when you wrecked the zodiac, and the prophecy's planning?

Stan-
Are you really gonna bring that up again? I thought you'd gotten over that
Have you forgotten who sacrificed themselves to kill that triangular brat?

Ford-
Of course I haven't forgotten, it was my idea originally
An alternative to the zodiac, since you'd decided to give up on me

Stan-
There's a reason I gave up on you, you know it very well
Do the words "I only wanted a thank you" ring a bell?
I wasted thirty years of my life trying to bring you home
But once I did, all you could do was just complain, and moan and groan!
Clearly you have no idea of everything I went through!
If you did, then you'd be grateful, or at least I hope.. Would you?

Ford-
Stan, you're acting like a child, this isn't a contest of who had the roughest life!
Either way, we'd both lose, we can't get over our own strife!
We both have had hard times, you were disowned, I was a pawn
So can we please put this aside? The past is over, it's long gone!

Who won?

Who's next?

You decide!

(In the future, I think I'm going to make these longer... They'll be better. Anyways- later, GreyJay13.)