Title: Last Words

Poet: drugyouneed

Genre: Poetry

Poems Read: 4

Date: 6 January 2020

Title: 3.5/5

The title is not, in any sense related to the book, so I suggest you either change it or develop your summary accordingly with it.

Cover: 3.5/5

The cover was a little too bland, and certainly not eye-catching. It had no elements that reeled me in to read the book. You should check out some designers who make good covers that are impressive in the eyes of the readers. I know a few graphic designers who are the coolest people in my eyes. You can always check their portfolios.
GeekGoddess-
CannibalisticNecro
InfinitiveGamer

Summary: 2/5

Your summary has many errors which I'll be breaking down to you. First, your summary is not related to the book whatsoever. It felt like you were typing a summary of a novel.

The other thing was grammar. There were a lot of faults in the summary that you should be corrected. No need to sweat, I'll help you out in that portion.

Your summary:-

Out of blue he said,
                          "You know I love you right ?"

                           Totally confused I said, "yes"

         And he said, "And you know that i would never want to hurt you?"

And i braced myself because no one says that unless they are about to hurt you 💔

That's when he left after his last words
              but not before putting my soul on fire 🥀

I had a hard time typing this since it's so jarring. There a lot of things wrong about it.
• There are no commas at all.
• Full stops are not used when they should have been.
• The improper pattern of the paragraphs.
• The use of emojis.

I have a better summary in my mind for you. If you like it, you can use it.

Sixteen-year-old Riley Davis, when left by her beloved boyfriend with nothing but a few sharp remarks that made no sense to her, turned into inconsiderate to the world.

Shunning the people away from herself, she indulged herself in the madness of poetry, written for her gone lover. Reminiscing over his last words had been the sole purpose of her life since the day he left her to the turmoil.

***

Out of the blue, he said, "You know I love you, right?"

Confused by his behavior, my eyebrows pulled into creases. "Yes, I know," I replied.

"You know that I would never want to hurt you, right?"

Bracing myself for the aftermath of the situation, I looked down, unable to meet his eyes as I kept my silence.

With those few words, he left, but not before putting my hear on fire.

You can always do anything along these lines as long as it gives sense to the title and theme of the book.

Grammar: 1.5/5

Even your introductory chapter had flaws.

They peeps! Please Do not copy my work without my consult and if you see my stuff somewhere else please inform me and report ASAP.!! Thankyouu soo muchh.

I would like to rephrase that so as to professional rather than a newbie.

Remember, first impressions matter. The way you introduce your work in your words mirror your talent to the reader. If you sound like a professional, they will get a good impression and would be tempted to read forward.

Hey there everyone! Thank you for giving this book a chance. I hope you enjoy my work.

This poetry collection belongs to me in every manner, so do not copy my work without my consent. If you see my work somewhere else, it is my request that you inform me about it immediately.

Other mistakes I'd like to highlight from your poems.

Let's take the example of Poem 1:

These city lights makes my heart feel alive,
Just like you did every time you smiled.

The rose i water, bleed me everyday leaving behind scars and pain,
They remind me of your promises which me high like snorts of cocaine.

This isn't how it's supposed to be. You are missing commas, sometimes using then where they are not needed. You are not using full stops and you never capitalize your 'I'. Sometimes, there are two spaces between words.

Now, I'll let you know the right format:

These city lights
make my heart feel alive,
Just like you did
every time you smiled.

The rose I water bleeds me every day,
leaving behind scars and pain.
They remind me of your promises, which me high like snorts of cocaine.

In this format, I evened out the number of lines in both the stanza. Before this, there were two lines in the first verse and four lines in the second verse. You should be careful about this.

Now, to help you format all your poems correctly, I'll break up the grammar rules for you.

• Your biggest issue is commas. You don't add them at all which makes the sentence patchy and hard to decipher.

You might be confused about when to add commas, and I don't blame you at all. Many writers suffer with the same crisis.

When to add a comma:-
=> Say the words aloud once you've written them. Trust me, they sound different than what you think they sound like in your mind. If you feel like a break is needed, there comes our comma.

=> To separate items in a series.
Ex: movies, shows, dramas, and games.

=> Before any coordinating conjunction (and, but, for, or, nor, so, yet) that links two independent clauses.

=> Before introductory adverbs.
Ex: Gently, I weaved my way through the crowd.

=> Use a comma after of before verbal dialogue tags, rather than a full stop.
Ex: "I saw that chipmunk on the street," he said.
He said, "I saw that chipmunk on the street."

• Your next issue is with full stops. Many times; when you need to add a full stop, you add a comma instead.

"The cold gush of the air, sets my mind at peace,
It brings back the..."

It should be,

"The cold gush of the air
sets my mind at peace.
It brings back the..."

• Improper use of ellipsis was one of the many other flaws I found. Let me tell you what an ellipsis is.

An ellipsis is a series of dots that usually indicates an intentional omission of a word, sentence, or whole section from a text without altering its original meaning. It is usually symbolized by the three dots (...).

"...sheets of my bed.."

While it should be,

"...sheets of my bed..."

• A lot of punctuation marks at the same time.

Ex: !!?

For some reason, it is highly unprofessional to use so many punctuations at the same time. You should always use a single punctuation, be it a question mark or an explanatory sign.

• You have left a lot of space between your verses which breaks the flow of the poems. Here is a screenshot. That is how it looks to your readers, so you might want to change that to only a single space between the verses. 

Diction + Flow: 3/5

The poems we're good, but the grammar adversely affected the flow. As for diction, you do not use any rich vocabulary in your poems so I won't be including diction in the review.

My Favorite Line:

Meaning + Message Conveyed: 3.5/5

I think you were trying to tell us the tragic life of the girl after the boy left. Well, I'm going to be blunt and say that the meaning got blurred by the mistakes and the uneasy flow.

Emotions Evoked: 2.5/5

I didn't feel much apathy towards the girl in the poem. Maybe you should consider rewriting the poems with an organized format, and maybe enhance the vocabulary of the poems.

Overall Score: 19.5/35

Remember, a low score does not mean your book is bad. It just means that the cacoon is still developing into a butterfly. The process might be long and painful, but the results are always glamorous and worth your time.