Everyone had a burden, but our type was always something that would be our downfall. Belinda's was the love of money, never believing in true love. Sydney valued validation. Itzel was her religion, she didn't pray for redemption like many thought, but out of guilt. Then there was Brianna who would never admit it but hers was family. Then there was me, who wanted acceptance in a world that only mistreated me. So when offered the chance for that, I took it. We all found what we were looking for in each other. That's how a strong friendship is born. You seek another broken soul in hopes that together you can mend each other.

We all sat in a circle in our pajamas, that Brianna had gifted us. It seemed the girls had matching ones that they all stashed here at her house and after telling Brianna my size, she had a similar pair in hours. They were a fuzzy yellow with colorful little cranes that seemed like they were soaring through tiny clouds.

"Did you know that in ancient drawings from Turkey, cranes represent new beginnings and friendship," Brianna says as she catches me admiring the pajama set.

"That's why she chose them," Belinda says as she flips through a magazine I could only guess was Sydney's. My suspicion is correct when she closes it and looks over at Sydney with a bored look and says, "Syd, this is so boring why do you read them?"

"It's not for the uncultured," Sydney responds as she leans over and snatches it from Belinda who rolls her eyes.

Amidst the small commotion between the two girls, I find my eyes making their way to Brianna who had been silently staring at me with amusement, and timidly say, "I just knew that in Korea they symbolized eternal youth and peace."

Brianna's smile widens as she places her interlocked hands under her chin, supported by her elbows on her crossed legs. "I love that you knew that." Then she shrugs, "different places give meaning to different things. Isn't it fascinating?"

"Would you ever want to be- you know-" I start to stammer as they all look at me with raised eyebrows, "eternally young."

"You mean like a Vampire?" Sydney questions with innocent puppy-like eyes, "because I would LOVE to be a vampire." She then jumps on top of Itzel and pretends to stab her with her teeth. "Drink blood, fuck bitches, and look this fine for all eternity? Sign me up."

"That's probably not what she meant-" Itzel says and pushes Sydney off her. I can see her reach for her cross necklace and begin to run it through her hands in a soothing manner. She catches me staring and we both immediately avoid eye contact.

"No-'' Brianna speaks up, "I wouldn't want to live forever." Then she looks at Sydney who is about to object, and points her index finger at her, "not even as a vampire." Sydney's face deflates and turns into a pout.

"Fine, but when I'm still young and pretty and you are all wrinkly and ugly- don't ask me to turn you into one because no offense but like ew."

I hug my knees closer to me as I mumble a, "me either."

"Way to bring down the mood-" Belinda says as she takes out her cigarette. Brianna instantly narrows her eyes at her as if testing her. Belinda responds with an eye roll and says, "Calm down Mom- I'm going to smoke it near the window. Don't throw a hissy fit." I watch as Belinda does just that. She goes and opens the window and begins smoking out of it. Half of her body is through the window as she yells into the cold crisp air. "Whoo-"

My feet have a mind of their own, but before I know it I'm standing up and standing next to her. She notices my presence and scoots over as I join her and we tightly fit into the windowsill. She grins at me and holds out the cigarette for me. I hesitantly look at it before reaching for it. "Take it slow, the first time isn't always as fun as the next time," she says with a wink and I can't help but think this is an innuendo of sorts.

I take a deep breath and shrug my shoulders before placing the only warm substance on my lips and take a deep breath as I've seen other people do millions of times. The thing about smoking that no one tells you is the way it fills your lungs with this burning feeling I feel a rumble in my throat and before I know it, the sensation is overpowered by an overwhelming need to throw up. I quickly cover my mouth and run as I hear a deep rumble of laughter from the windowsill. I go to throw up in the bathroom and feel a slight tap on my back before a glass of water is placed in front of me. I smile up at Itzel and accept it graciously, fixing my glasses that had slightly tilted at my abrupt movements.

"First time smoking, huh? I remember that," she says as she keeps rubbing my back softly and offers me a small smile.

I can't help my eyes widen and my mouth hangs open as I question, "you- smoked?"

She lets out a small chuckle and I can see one dimple form on her left cheek. "Once- being friends with Belinda makes you pick up bad habits like that."

"I think I give your life purpose," Belinda says as she slings an arm across her shoulder.

"Not the good kind-" Sydney says as she slings another arm around Itzel in response to Belinda.

"Leave her alone-" I can hear Brianna's voice come through the doorway but before I know it, she's extending a hand out to me and says, "Come on- the nights not over yet."

"Did you ever smoke?" I ask her as she pulls me into her side like a momma bird shielding her young in her wings.

"No," she says a bit darkly as she looks in front of us, guiding us back into her room. The bathroom wasn't far away but you did have to pass a hallway filled with family pictures to reach it at the end of the house. "It didn't seem appealing to me. Is it?" She says with a sly smirk.

"Oh, you guys are just a bunch of weak pussy's. After the initial shock, you get a euphoric feeling. The real question is- are you brave enough to try it again, Gracykins?" Belinda says with her own smirk.

"Don't pressure her," Brianna says, "It's a bad habit and can kill you."

Belinda shrugs, "I'm not. I'm just telling her some possibilities. And yes it's a bad habit but all those warning labels come with the most fun. Like you-" she says and points at her then looks at me as if contemplating, "she also looks like she needs her own label."

"Whatever," Brianna says with a roll of her eyes as we get back to her room and all sit down in a circle again.

"Okay, guys- but like- what is your dream? I want to be a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader," Sydney says as soon as she prances through the doors. She stands in front of us and claps her hands together before doing a mini dance routine I had seen the cheerleaders at our school practice. "Or maybe I can be a fashionista-" she says and pretends to drape over a long scarf and lower her imaginary glasses, which has us all giggling. "Or- an actor-" At that she lets herself fall into Belinda's awaiting arms. Belinda looks down at her as she smiles back up, but then throws her to the side. "Ow-" Sydney says as she stands back up, "how rude."

Belinda ignores her and stands in front of us while flexing her arms, "I think I can be a boxer-'' she says before tackling Sydney to the floor again and standing up with raised arms, "I won. See."

"With your family- keep dreaming babe-'' Sydney comments.

"Don't make me take you down again pretty girl-" Belinda says and takes one menacing step towards her. Sydney pretends to scream and jumps on the bed.

A clutched pillow on her right hand and raising her left hand to her forehead she says in the best southern accent she can muster, "no- please- don't hurt me. I was just waiting for my Romeo."

"Little Juliet, won't you come down?"

"Romeo?"

"Juliet?"

"Romeo says it's you and I'll come down."

"Actually, it's vampire Romeo for you toots," Belinda says before launching herself at Sydney who flops onto the bed with laughter. "See I can be an actor too," Belinda says sitting up and pushing her hair back.

"Is that what you want?" I ask her hesitantly as I play with my fingers, avoiding her gaze. Belinda's cold but amused stare always caused goosebumps to erupt all over my skin. She looked at people with an air of absoluteness, we all were figments with defined values that she placed. She seemed to value me of interest and importance because Brianna valued me like that.

Belinda shrugs, "No. Maybe something in the arts but with my family- there's not much hope for that."

"Why?" I asked, intrigued myself as I saw her eyes flicker from her strong demeanor to something else, something very familiar to me. Dejection.

I see her swallow the lump in her throat but before she says anything, Brianna answers with a tone of indifference. "What parents want their kid to go into something uncertain."

"Everything is uncertain," Sydney says as she twists her body on the bed to where she's hanging upside down. Her curly hair touches the floor and creates a puddle of dark chocolate swirls on the mahogany hardwood flooring as her pajamas lift slightly revealing her toned stomach underneath. She turns to look at us with a struggling smile since gravity was not helping her and says, "isn't that what makes life fun? The unknown."

We all stay silent contemplating her words. Some of us agreed and some of us disagreed in our own thoughts, but none of us voiced it out loud.

I turn my attention to the girl ignoring her friends' shenanigans and reading her bible and say, "What about you, Itzel."

I can hear the intake of breath and watch as she bites the side of her lip, before closing the bible and turning her attention to me. She regards my presence as if I was a wolf and she was the prey, but then seems to relax and shrugs. "Probably a nun or a pastor of sorts. That's what my parents deem worthy."

I watch as Brianna walks up and knees in front of a criss-cross applesauce Itzel who's eyes widen by how close Brianna had gotten. Brianna puts a hand under her chin to keep her in place and looks deep into her eyes. I can see the pure fascination in the other two girls' faces but I see Itzel's lust-filled ones. Itzel seemed to have a small crush on Brianna, who seemed to know this full well but didn't address it.

"That wasn't the question, Itzel dear. She asked-" she leans in close to her ear, and whispers, "what is your dream?" The room is so silent that we all hear it before she pushes herself back out of her personal space and drops her hands to put them on her knees. "You can be anything- an astronaut, a veterinarian, the president of the United States. Take your pick."

As if in a trance Itzel says, "I'd like to be mayor of this town."

Brianna gives her a wide smile before patting her head and with a wink says, "that a girl." Then she turns her head to look at me. "Gracy, it's your turn."

"My dream? It would be to live in a world where people weren't so cruel." At my words, I pull my knees up to my chest and lean my head in between them.

She quirks up an eyebrow as the other girls sit up and look at me. "That really is quite a dream. May I suggest something else?"

I nod my head.

"If you want the world to be less cruel- why not become a dictator and rule your own people?" Her eyes flicker with mischief and I could swear I could see a small flame in them as she crawled toward me. She places a hand behind my ear and her fingers rake my hair. "You can make your own rules and no one would ever hurt you again." She lets go of me and smiles before standing up and making her way to the doorway.

I watch as the other girls stand up with wide smiles of pure delight, that they try to hide their small giggles behind their hands. "Are you coming?" Briannas says and looks at me anticipatorily, knowing I wouldn't disappoint, and I don't because within seconds I'm standing up and following out of the room and down the hall toward the stairs.

"Why the giggles after what she said to me?" I can't help but ask Itzel who walks beside me down the stairs. The insecurity of them laughing at me was making me anxious and I needed to know because at the moment, I felt like running and crying as my insides clawed my intestines.

"They weren't laughing at you if that's what you're thinking," she tells me. I narrowed my eyes at her, how did she know? As if reading my mind she spares me a small smile, "I was the same way when Brianna welcomed me into her friend group."

"Then why did they laugh?"

"Because they know she's planning something now, and if anyone wants to rule the world- it's her." I stay silent before I feel her arm bump against mine and look over at her as she leans in closer. "I think those that want to rule the world do it because the world they are living in hasn't always been fair to them."

I knew the world hadn't been fair to me and as I looked at Itzel, I knew it hadn't been that way for her either. She had a lot of nervous ticks that didn't come from being treated well; from biting her lip, running her hand up and down her arms, to tracing the cross with her fingers making sure to touch every inch of it. So at her words, I find my eyes shifting to the bright-eyed and wide smiling leader in front of us as she giggles along with the other two girls. It seems hard to wonder how the world has been unfair to her. In my eyes, she had it all, even the ability to stand up for someone else. I couldn't even stand up for myself but Brianna Anders did it without a worry in her head and I couldn't help the small envy that bubbled up inside me. To be like her would only be a dream. To be normal, would be a dream as well.

"Is it true that you can see things that we can't?" she asks me as with her gaze downward. I watch as she lifts her wide eyes before in a panic adding, "you don't have to tell me if you don't want to-"

"It's true," I cut off her ramble of apology.

"That's so cool," she says in awe.

I offer her a small smile before shaking my head, "it's really not. Trust me."

"Well, to me- you're the most fascinating person in the world."

My eyebrows scrunch up in confusion. Fascinating? In the world? Me? Those words had never been used to define me but they managed to cause a small warmth to spread through my body. All I can stammer out is, "I- don't- think- so."

"Well I do," she stops and I halt my steps too as her almost clear green eyes meet mine, "because your existence alone disproves everything I've ever been taught to believe. That to me is fascinating and I'm glad you're here.

I gulp at her words and feel my cheeks burning hot at her compliment. In my whole life, I had always been deemed unfit and told I should have died but these girls seemed to enjoy my company, even going as far as telling me they were glad I was alive. My heart does something it had never done before, give one single beat of happiness. I was the happiest I've ever been at this moment.

My smile never falters even as we reach the kitchen and Brianna begins to take out boxes of cake mix. I raise a quizzical eyebrow and point at them, "What are we doing?"

She begins to pour the ingredients into a bowl and looks at me with a wide smile. "We- my dear Gracikins are baking brownies for the football team." I can feel my heart shatter at her words. Had I been fooled? Was I so naive to believe they had actually accepted me into their friend group but now we're making me make brownies for people who had bullied me? However, I watch as Brianna waves a small bottle in front of me and adds, "With a bit of a secret ingredient of course."

Belinda and Sydney drape their arms over my shoulder as Belinda says, "They'll know not to mess with you anymore."

"Brianna will make sure of it," Sydney adds as Itzel slides into the seat and dips her finger into the chocolate batter barely forming. "It's delicious," she says and we watch as Brianna adds some drops of the brown bottle substance into the bowl.

"Perfect," she responds, stirring the new mixture. 

>>>>

So this chapter turned out to be a little longer according to Inkitt, but I hope you enjoy. I think we're finally getting into the grimy stuff. I also know someone's secret is about to come to light. Please check me out on TikTok or Insta, I go by phoenix_lve and I have some small reels/ edits for this story. So it be nice if you could see it. 

Please comment, vote, and share, especially so I know how I'm doing and how it's going. 

Thank you for reading <3