The table was silent, as we waited for the rest of the family to pack in. Essie sat at the center of the table, clearly being the head of command. Next to her was Earl who silently stared at the empty plate and looked pleadingly at his wife. Essie looks at him with narrowed eyes before saying, "we have to wait for everyone."

I grab my knife and start twisting it in my hand, unable to help myself, I catch the eyes of Itzel's who has her narrowed in slits like a reptilian at me. She blinks and that's when I pretend to throw it. She flinches instantly and I can't help the wide grin that escapes my cool demeanor.

"I thought jail would have taught you better," she hisses.

My face instantly falls at the mention of jail, but I quickly mask it over and respond, "they taught me to do things better. I only got caught for being careless." I hook my legs under hers and pull her closer to where she's pressed against the table, her hands on either side, trying to push herself away. "I won't make the same mistakes again."

"Are you threatening me?" she asks me.

I shrug and release my grip on her, watching as she stumbles backward with a soft rock. "Take it as you will. I was just telling you what I learned from my time away."

I could tell she was about to respond but the abrupt sound of the door clashing with the entire house, making it rumble, caught our attention. Essie's whole demeanor turns rigid as the boys stumble into the house. "How many times have I told you to not slam the door?" She scolds as they pile into the kitchen one by one. They ignore their mother's words as they stare at us with a mixture of fright and delight.

"Hey boys, missed me?" I ask them with a smirk, spinning my knife in the napkin that had been given to me.

"Brianna," Andrew says as he comes up to me first before pulling me out of my chair and giving me a bear hug. Andrew was the oldest, with a military haircut, his eyes were a light green that contrasted his ebony skin tone perfectly. They drew you in almost hauntingly, almost clouded with everything he had seen in the military. He was only 25, but the worry lines and wrinkles framing his otherwise smooth face made you believe he was older by a few years. His whole demeanor seemed to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders but demanded respect that you gave without a fight.

Then came Stevie who pushed his older brother into Belinda as soon as he put me back down on the ground. Stevie held up his finger to me, asking for a moment before lifting my hands and placing them around his shoulders while he went around my waist. Stevie gave me his dazzling smile that showed his white teeth and his brown eyes glimmered in mirth. He snapped his fingers and spoke, "Twins, music," his deep voice vibrated through my whole body at how close our bodies were pressed together.

The twins, Barrett and Jackson, didn't miss a beat before agreeing to their older brother's request and instantly started beatboxing a slow song. They weren't as mischievous as Stevie but they still followed along with everything he said. They stood tall at 18 years old, both with shoulder-length hair but Barrett had bright red hair while Jackson had lime green hair. It was their way of being told apart but also a way to get on their mother's nerves since she saw colorful dyed hair, among other things, a sign of scoundrels and didn't like others looking down at them because of that. This was a small town after all and race played into their lives more than she cared to admit or gave away. After all, they just weren't country bumpkins.

Stevie twirls me in his arms, letting a laugh escape my lips as the rest of them partner up. Andrew dips Belinda, Barrett sways Itzel, Jackson spins Sydney, and Essie and Earl hold hands as they stare into each other lovingly, ignoring the chaos around them.

Even if Belinda had shitty role models, she couldn't deny love didn't exist any more than we could deny the air surrounding us. It was invisible, intangible, but it was there and kept us alive. I was sounding more like Gracy and her poetic idealism, I internally gag at the thought.

Watching Essie and Earl reminded me of my parents. Their longing gazes when they had to be separated for a while. Their small kisses in the mornings when dad would pull her into him and she just melted into his embrace as they both grudgingly watched the coffee pot pour the hot liquid slowly into the glass container. Dad would lean in to kiss her and she would always hide her face and cover her mouth. I could still hear her sweet voice as she told him, "I haven't brushed my teeth or had coffee." He would chuckle at her silliness before responding, "ask me if I care," and proceeded to give her a peck. Her laughter would fill the kitchen as Matilda and I bounced down the stairs before we arrived and they pretended they weren't doing anything. There were moments we would watch them candidly, wanting to take a picture and keep it forever. Now, I wish I had.

Even in their death, they held hands, and passed out in the yellow car as it submerged deeper into the icy water. Moments before that, they had whispered "I love you's," but those quickly went out the window as the car went over the bridge and drowned along with them. The yellow buggy that had brought us to our new beginning had also brought them to their ending.

Stevie pulls me back to reality as he dips me and sends me flying off into the arms of one of the twins. More precisely, Jackson, who steals my smirk as my eyes widen before he begins spinning me uncontrollably. My blurry vision barely makes out Sydney who is emptying her stomach content in a nearby trash can, clearly the twirling not settling well with her. Yet, unlike her, I put my foot down and yelled, "enough." The twin, noticing my no-nonsense tone, quickly drops my hand and I go twirling around the floor before almost falling. However, Barrett catches me before I hit the ground and I give him a grateful smile.

"You should have let her fall," Itzel snickers from my side as she takes her seat.

He lifts me back up before I glare at her. "Shut it before I shut it for you," I tell her threateningly.

She rolls her eyes before mockingly replying, "Oh. I'm shaking."

Stevie stops in the middle of dipping Belinda before casually dropping her and approaching us. She yells in protest from the floor, but Andrew is quick to pull her up and hold her against him in a protective position. I can see the small shimmer that overtakes her eyes, but it goes out as quickly as a flickering lightbulb already on its last filament. Andrew looks down and I can see a small blush creep up to his dark cheeks before he releases Belinda and she does and sits down awkwardly.

"Shouldn't you be?" Stevie voices out, unaware of what is happening behind him, like everyone else. "Wasn't she incarcerated for killing your lover?"

This caught everyone's attention, mainly the two parental figures at the head. If anyone had managed to bring down the mood and fill the air with tension in less than a second, it was Stevie with that one sentence. The room grew eerily quiet as we watched what Essie and Ray would do. Essie was more than understanding over a lot of things, but there were certain things you just didn't ever bring up. Ever. There were unwritten rules to follow, such as this.

Things like Itzel, a nun, or Gracy being gay were meant to be kept hushed in this small town. You pretended things like that didn't exist. Things like me being a killer and going to jail was along with Sydney dating her teacher, those who knew pretended they didn't. They were swept under a rug under a locked door. No one was supposed to open it unless they were ready for another Watergate scandal. Yet, here was the most unserious person I had ever met with a stern expression as he voiced the thoughts that swam in our subconscious.

Essie held a tight-lip smile as she gently bent the spoon in her hand before standing up. The screeching of the chair was as loud as a school bell, alerting us to pay attention. "How about we all take a seat now and eat." Everyone shuffled along in silence as I smirked at Itzel who looked downcasted at her empty plate. Stevie moves to get to his chair but not before Essie grabs ahold of his collar and grits, "out," before shoving him through the wooden door.

Itzel looks up to see my giant smile and says, "are you happy right now?"

I shrug and respond, "yup," making sure to pop the P. This always irked her. She had a weird pet peeve, but we all had them. I just love that they made it easier for me to irk her when I wanted to.

"Aren't you even a little ashamed?" She tells me like an annoying younger sibling would after getting reprimanded by their parents. I guess, given the situation, that's what she was going for. She wanted me to feel guilty for what Stevie had said that had clearly upset Essie. What I didn't fail to notice was that she wasn't mad at me, she was mad at herself. Her guilty emotion was written all over her face in permanent ink. All her life she had hidden this secret and yet some people knew. Some people she trusted, but it being voiced out wasn't what she wanted. Yet, she wanted to take me down with her.

I pretend to give it some thought before shaking my head. "I don't. What should I feel ashamed of?"

The double meaning of my words didn't go unnoticed by her. I could see her breath hitched and her eyes conflicting as her body seemed to relax from its edge. Her brain was working on what emotion it wanted to hold on to. Anger or peace.

"Because you always bring drama anywhere you go," she spits out. Anger. She had chosen anger.

I roll my eyes and cross my arms before pretending to yawn. "You really are getting too repetitive. Either come up with something new or don't talk at all. It's boring me to an extreme I didn't know was possible."

Itzel crosses her arms before sliding down the chair. Just then, the doors open and Essie walks in with a giant grin before moving to grab the plates and begin loading them up with food as Stevie walks in more deflated than when he entered. None of us heard what was spoken between them, but we could guess. It went along the lines of never bringing up certain things and how he should know better, he wasn't a child after all.

I sigh, sometimes people fail to realize that things need to be talked about to be made better.

I can't help but internally shake my head. I was becoming sappy, so close to being a new hallmark movie the longer I stayed. I really needed to look for the box that bitch hid and I can high tail it out of here.

My eyes wander over to Sydney who is quietly inhaling her food and a small smirk plays at the corner of my pink lips. Everything was already tense, it seemed like the perfect opportunity. I just had to do it.

So I opened my mouth and directed my question to her, loud enough for everyone to hear, "Sydney. How is your husband treating you these days?" Her body stiffens as everyone's eyes land on her. Her spoonful that was halfway, now lay on the plate flipped over. Yet, I continue. "Was it the happily ever after you expected?"

"Yes," she answers and smiles at her family, pretending everything was fine like always. This only egged me on more.

"I'm glad to hear that because I would just hate to hear that he isn't treating you right." I shake my head and then take a dramatic gasp. "The other day I noticed you had a bruise on your arm," everyone held their breath as they waited, "what happened?"

Her jaw clenches as she glares at me.

"Sydney?" Earl places a soft hand on her arm. Her four brothers are already standing up as Essie stays silent, clutching tightly to the plate as if afraid to drop it at any moment.

"It's not like that," Sydney says, "please everyone sit down. I volunteer at the school and one day I happened to be playing volleyball with some of the kids, one of them smacked on it a little too hard. That's it." A well-rehearsed story. I wondered how many times she had said it before. "My husband is a great guy. Brianna was just trying to start drama, like always," she tells them with a wide smile. Sometimes, pretending gets easier, Sydney was proof of that.

"Oh, that's right. You had told us that. My bad," I tell them, but the damage had already been done.

"I think it's time for you girls to be heading out," Essie says and then calls back her sons, "boys sit down and eat."

The protests are silenced with a single glare from Essie as they sit down and eat. We all stand up and collect our things before Essie walks us to the door. As we reach it, she calls out, "Brianna."

I stop in my tracks and turn to look at her. "Yes?"

"Next time you come to make something up about my daughter and her husband, don't. Rumors are hard to squash." Then she turns to Sydney, "I hope he isn't doing anything and Brianna was lying, because if we find out Sydney-"

"I promise he's not," Sydney cuts her off. "I love you, momma."

"Come back next time," Essie says and looks at us with a cold stare before adding, "alone."

I never thought I would see the only other mother figure in my life giving me a look that made me want to crawl under my own skin. She was disappointed and I didn't blame her. Not only had I brought up one of the topics she didn't want to discuss, but I gave her something to worry about and she didn't know if it was true or not. Right now, thanks to Sydney, I sounded like an immature kid who just wanted to cause some more drama. However, she was right about the rumors, they were hard to crush. I should know, I started a lot of them.

We walk back to the car and I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I take it out and look at the unfamiliar caller ID and watch it go to voicemail. They had already called twice so the next time it rang again. I answer.

They could hear my breathing and I could hear the jittery sound of their teeth shaking. "Brianna?" she says, "I know you're there." I don't respond, wanting to do the same thing she had done to me all those years ago. "It's Matilda. I was calling, hoping you could come visit me tomorrow?" Her voice falters in the end but she remains silent, waiting.

I hung up.

I reach my car with the girls who have narrowed eyes at me as I bounce happily to unlock the door.

"What's with the smile? You just got us banned from Essie's house," Belinda reprimands.

I ignored her last comment and answered, "I'm visiting Matilda tomorrow."

"Since when is seeing your sister a good thing? You hate her," Itzle adds.

I give her a patronizing look as I respond, "since she can do me a favor."

"Which is?" Sydney asks.

"None of your concern as of now," I tell them and take my seat. I grip the steering wheel and address them all. "Don't worry, you are all part of my plan. She can just help open a door sooner than later."

They all give me weird looks but I ignore them as I pull out of the driveway, unable to help my Cheshire cat grin at my plan.

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More to come, I'm trying to update from where I have it on Inkitt. So sorry for the spam if you read this story. 

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