You know that little task of waking up and getting out bed every morning? Well that task used to be so easy for my but now it isn't. It takes me a few hours as I sit there and contemplate everything. I was never depressed, but some reason it got me like a boulder 3 days after the grand magic games. I never knew why, but thought of my being weak and useless flooded into my mind, and I'm starting to believe them. I don't mean too, but they are alright. I try to fight beside my spirits, I always get in the way of the team by getting kidnapped or something. I'm a mess up.

I won't tell anyone my feelings. I would hate to be a bother, and have everyone worry about me. All I can do it defeat the feeling myself, and it not like anyone can relate to me. Everyone has everyone to help them, and reassure them. They can't possible understand, or how it just hit into me.

If they could, I don't want help. This is my battle. Not even my spirits can help, no matter how much they try to talk to me, and get me to tell the others or talk them. I pushed them away, close their gate with a lie that I'm ok. It's a lie I'm too familiar with now, and even if they can fell my pain, I'm alone in my own little world. Just a small crying child,  crying and screaming for help, but the words never make it passed her mouth. This is my own little now, in a blank landscape.

With a sigh, I throw my blankets off and swing my legs over the side of the bed. The team never comes into my house, since I added new locks to the doors, and Windows, then put a gate of my fireplace and cover if. I don't want them to come in and see me without my mask and how beaten I look with out the concealer to cover ,my dark circles. It's very unpleasant, even to me. Cancer will come to help me cover it and do my hair. He doesn't speak, knowing full well not to question everything. He knows that with every word the pain will just grow, and grow. I don't want it to consume me but I'm afraid it will, taking over my basic feeling, and who I am inside.

I no like Natsu anymore, as that feeling disappeared right when the depression came. It's not because of Lisanna, I know she likes Bisclow, but I believe it's because of who I am and how he was. He is very dense, and me, I'm hopeless. Something to not be compared to him, or be at his side. He needs someone who can be.

I got up from my bed, and headed to the bathroom and started a relaxing bath to try and calm down. I then proceeded to get a my undergarments, a sleeveless shirt with brown lining on the side, a blue jean skirt and my knee high brown boots. I set them in the counter and strip off my pjs, hopping into the relaxing the bath with strawberry scented bubbles. I closed my eyes and sun h into the relaxing water.

"Lucy...Lucy...please....don't feel this way. Come find me." A soft spoke into my head and I jolted up. I looked around the room to see if anyone was here, and yep. Loke was standing in to the doorway. I covered myself with the bubbles quickly and glared at him.

"Were you that voice?" I questioned and he shook his head. "The others then?"

"No Lucy, it was none of us. I don't know what or who it was. I believe it is your job to find out." I sighed. It's too early for this. He left without me saying anything and so I went back to my thoughts. After an hour or so, I came out, wrapping a towel around my waist, and letting out the water. I brushed my teeth and washed my face, and got dressed. Grabbing my belt and keys, I stopped in realization.

The voice sounded like the child me.

Then I must be going crazy, and the feelings must be consuming me now. It's that, or I have heard that some keys will call to their owner but I doubt it would happen to me. I don't deserve. I sighed again, and headed to the kitchen to make breakfast. It was pancakes with strawberry syrup. Erza would be proud of me.

Finishing up breakfast, I cleaned my plate and put it away. Once I did, I headed out the door, and put on my signature fake smile. I said my hellos to everyone and walked on the edge of the walkway. The guys in the boat shouted their worry to me for me to watch out and not slip. I replied with a smile and yell back that I would be fine. I then proceeded to summon Plue to make it look like I was lonely, only to bump into someone and fall onto my but.

"Oh! I'm sorry!" I quickly said and stood. The man had covered himself with a black cloak, but I felt look dead at me.

"Stop with the act. I know how you really feel, I can help you. Once you find the special key, find me. Call my name." He helped me up and turned around.

"What key? What are you talking about? Why should I call out your name? What even is it?" I questioned and ran up to him as Plue disappeared.

"You will know in good time, and my name I s Zeref." I froze then quickly regained my composure and turned around. He had ran off somewhere, at least I think.. I stood their for a moment, but then took off to the guild. I settled down at the entrance and put smiled, then walked.

"Ohiyo, Minna!" I yelled out and everyone smiled and replied with their usual replies. I walked up to the bar and looked for MiraJane. She quickly walked over to me.

"Hi Lucy! What can I get you?" She asked and a smiled.

"A strawberry milkshake please!" She nodded and went to get it. Once I got it, I sipped it and looked around.

They are my family, and I don't want to ruin this happy place.

****

To say the least that everything was fine until now is the pure truth. All I wanted was a solo mission where I could practice and become stronger. That all. An easy one, then I would pick a harder one, then a harder one, etc, etc. That way I could practice and Natsu or my other friends wouldn't come and try help. I need to train on my own. But no.

I walked over the request board after I finished my milkshake and looked around all the missions. There was one for retrieving gold, catching thieves, killing a monster what was threatening the town, and other things. The most easiest one was to retrieve the gold from robbers in Clover Town, something simple enough. I was about to grab it when someone - Natsu - called me over. I sighed, put on my happy face and walked over.

"Hey guys! What's up?" I asked, approaching the table seeing Natsu, Juvia, Grey, Erza, Wendy, Lisanna, and the exceeds there. Erza was eating her cake, Grey was trying to get Juvia off his arm, Wendy was reading with Carla, Happy eating a  fish, and Natsu and Lisanna was looking at me with Natsu holding a piece a paper.

"We found the perfect job for all of us! We can each get 12,000 jewels, and you can get a new key!" Lisanna exclaimed, with he sweet soft smile of hers. She and I were already the best of friend's so, I don't know what I would do if she or Lecy found out. Or worse, Natsu. I just smiled brightly and jumped up, trying so show I was euthastic.

"That awesome! What's the job and where?" I asked, and Erza chuckled at me finishing the cake.

"The job is too defeat some bad guy who are taking refuge in a sacred temple. The temple holds the key in it, and we get the key and the jewels if we defeat them. It's in the town of Raptous, a very unheard of city as it is very old." Erza took a sip of her tea as she finished explaining. A new key would be amazing, but what key could it even be? Yukino
gave me her keys as a way to thank me for helping her get back with her sister and get together with Sting, but she kept the 13th key.

So what key could it even be? That would stay in my mind for while, and I didn't want to ask my spirits so I will just have to wait. Most likely was just a silver key, but equally as important as the others. I smiled and nodded to them.

"Great! We leave in 3 hour!" Natsu said, and I nodded again. I turned and left the guild to pack.

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Words: 1,542

Song: Nightstep - Shatter Me