[Again special thanks to KitExists for writing Joker here! <333 love ya /p]

Doc had been busy.

While he'd been able to keep the mobs at bay, there were starting to be... unexpected consequences to the Batman. Wannabe mob bosses would try to go after him in the middle of patrol, figuring they'd get some extra attention if they took him down. Good luck with that.

So a breakout at Arkham didn't really surprise him. Who had done it though... that was a bit... odd. Unexpected.

"Jackson... Marshal... Vacan- ... hey- Who's there?" The guard had been doing the usual check-in, when a vacant cell... wasn't as vacant as it should be. Inside was someone just casually sitting in a chair in the middle of the room. "You- You shouldn't be in there-"

The guard sounded more confused and unsure than anything.

"Shouldn't I be?" The inmate spun around, but it was hard to see him in the dark.

"You're- You're not on the list, mister..?" The guard leaned against the door to try seeing the guy better, only to stumble forward as the door opened. "Huh??"

The person inside looked at the guard with a huge smile. His crooked yellow teeth were very visible in the light from the door. The Arkham guard gave a startled yelp at seeing that.

"Wh-What are you!?"

"Y'knowwwww- I was just feeling a little, screw loose." The inmate lumbered forward a little, "Didn't think you would mind if I...checked myself in?" A very creepy laugh followed.

The guard stumbled back, trying to clamber to his feet. "St-Stay back! Don't get any closer!"

The guy didn't listen, lurching up a bit to look at the guard properly without being hunched over. His face was horrific, covered in white clown makeup.

"What? Feeling scared?" He then lifted up an arm, and the long sleeves dropped to reveal something in his hands. "Let me give you a reason to smile."

A horrified scream echoed through Arkham, followed by laughter.

Batman was met by a horde of escaped inmates. 'What a mess...'

He had to eject himself out of the car and send it off with autopilot, before swinging over to the Asylum to investigate what was going on inside.

Inside was absolute chaos. Prisoners were fleeing, the entire power system was off some how, and the security guards were getting overwhelmed with the amount of people running around. Bats swore under his breath, soaring down to tackle two escapees at once, looking up at the guard he'd saved. He may not be in the law's good graces but- hopefully he could get some directions.

"Who started this."

The guard stuttered to respond. Okay, maybe he should tone down the scariness when talking to people he needs to like him more.

"I want to help. Who started this?"

"Woah-hOUOH! Who do we have here!" A voice said from above. Batman looked up, reaching for his weapons. A figure jumped down from near the ceiling, starting to lumper around a bit with a laugh.

"What's with the get up!" He teased, staring at Bats with big creepy eyes. "Bold to walk in here looking like a rejected circus freak!"

'You're one to talk-' Batman just scowled, letting the guard run off in fear while he stood between him and the creep. "Who are you."

"Jumping right to that are we! Come on! Join the party!" The creep moved to jump around Bats for a second, grabbing him by arm. Batman scowled, quickly moving to grab him back and throw him into the nearest wall.

"Stop this. You aren't well, you need help."

The guy got slammed into the wall, and started laughing.

"Says the man dressed as a bat!"

'Says the clown-' Batman walked over and grabbed him by the shirt, going to try rubbing off some of the make-up to see who this was.

"Un-ruinable makeup! Like it?" The clown tilted his head to the side with a big smile. The Bat just glared at him.

"Who are you."

"Some call me JOKER! But, I'll respond to any name you want~" he snickered, before moving a leg up to kick Bats back hard.

'O w- oh, God- is he flirting with me??? E w??? Okay- just knock him out and move on-' Batman grunted and leapt back up to throw a batarang at him.

The Joker cackled and moved to lunge away like a rabid animal. "Enjoy my new funhouse, Batsy!"

The Bat ran after him, determined to get this over with as quickly as possible. The clown disappeared around a corner quickly. The hero quickly followed, ready for a fight.

As soon as Bats turned the corner, there was a sudden cracking sound, and a gust of green smoke hit him right in the face.

"Hahaaa! That's what you get for trying to be a hero!"

Batman quickly covered his face, trying to not breathe in whatever that was and see where Joker went. 'What the hell???'

"Smile for the camera, Batboy!"

He could see the clown bolt off, his cackles fading away as Bats could feel his vision blur slightly. He ran out of the green smoke cloud, coughing. 'What was that-??'

He glanced up, and jumped a bit at seeing a hideous grin. But it wasn't Joker.

"Oh god."

An Arkham guard was completely rigid, an eerie but almost comically large grin stuck on his face. Is that what enough of that gas could do???

And the so-called "Joker"...was gone. Bats swore under his breath, going to pick up the guard. "Let's get you some help... and make an antidote for whatever that was."

The guard couldn't even speak. Just staring at the hero with a creepy smile, and pure pain behind his eyes.

"... blink twice if you can hear me?"

The man managed to blink twice.

"Great. I'm going to do my best to help... sorry if I avoid looking you in the face for now." He muttered the last part, looking away as he ran out of the Asylum and went to swing back to Gotham before the police got there, the guard over his shoulder. "Hope you don't mind heights."

The guard literally couldn't talk. Since he did seem still aware of his surroundings, Batman put him in the back of his car, facing the seat and away from the windows. The two could only sit in silence. Very uncomfortable silence.

"... I can't tell if this would be better or worse if you could talk." Batman muttered as he drove along. Honestly, the guard didn't expect him to talk much. Or at all? The poor guy could only look at Bat's through the rear view mirror of the driver's seat, staring at him with wild and scared eyes.

They drove to Batman's base, not that the guard could tell where that was. Batman parked and brought the guard to a table.

"I'm gonna have to get a blood sample... I don't know if I can get enough from that alone though. But... maybe I can make something for myself to stay immune..." Batman thought aloud. "That way I can go after this... Joker without ending up like... this. No offense, man."

The guard gave him an even more panicked look.

"It's gonna suck, I don't know what else to tell you, man." Bats sighed, getting a syringe. He felt an odd twitch in his face- there's the toxin. 'E w- nope, nope nope nope-'

He had to act fast. Who knew what that clown was planning next. He took a quick blood sample and started to work, sending a message to Zloy to warn him they had company. He managed to isolate the guard's blood from the toxin, and started trying to figure out an antidote or anti-toxin.

The guard could do nothing- just anxiously waiting to see where this was going.

"Shit... I'm gonna need to find more of this stuff to make a proper antidote..." Batman sighed. "Where did he even get this stuff..?"

That's something he could investigate at another time. Getting rid of the source of this could help get rid of future headaches. The hero sighed and glanced at the guard. "You'll be alright. I'll fix this... just need to find out where this clown is."

Seemed like the only solution... so he went to his computer, trying to find any signs of the clown.

"Why was he even in Arkham..? He clearly broke in, there's no record of anyone like him." Batman frowned, scanning police records and keeping an ear out on the radio. It felt so... random. Maybe that was the point though.

Nothing caught his eye or connected any dots...until the radio started talking about something happening on the east side of the city. Batman perked up and turned it up.

"There's been some kind of balloon circling over the East square for some time now! No one has been able to figure out what it is. It's flying too close to all sorts of buildings!"

Bingo. Nobody else was that crazy. Bats leapt out of his seat.

"Just hang in there, man-" He said as he passed the guard, getting his anti-toxin that had been processing and injecting himself with it. He felt the odd twitching in his face stop (to his relief) and he leapt into his car to go to the east side of Gotham.

By the time he got there, he could see the balloon, swerving between high buildings as a familiar silhouette swung around in it. He narrowed his eyes and ejected himself out of the car, swinging his way to the balloon.

"Ahhh! I was wondering when you would show up!" Joker's entire face lit up even more once he saw the hero.

"Though! I figured you would be smiling WAY more!!!" The villain cackled.

"I'm afraid I don't share your sick sense of humor, Joker." Batman scowled, going to grab him by the shirt. "What are you planning."

"Isn't it obvious!" Joker looked at Bats with crazy shaking eyes, not even trying to fight back against being grabbed. "Look around you! Big balloon! Spiky buildings!! Tons of people who need more smiles in their lives!!"

Wha-??? O h. Oh no. The balloon was filled with the gas. Batman's eyes widened and he threw Joker down to try directing the balloon away from the city. Joker laughed and swung himself back up try and tackle Batman away from the controls. Batman dodged, quickly shooting a rope to the nearest building to pull it away from another one in time. Joker was still laughing as he moved to pull out a knife and start trying to slash off various ropes and weights on the balloon, trying to get it to raise up higher. Batman threw a batarang at his hand to make him drop the knife before again redirecting the balloon.

'S h i t- shit shit shit shit-'

Joker shouted a bit at that, almost being knocked out of the balloon in the process. Batman quickly caught him, handcuffing him to a rope so he could get the balloon away from the city safely and not have to worry too much about stopping Joker.

"Oh come on!!!!"

Batman steered the balloon safely to the bay, directing it down and as far from the city as he could before getting his boat to zoom out of its hiding place. He fired his grapple at it and dragged the balloon into the water, then popped it so the gas could be released into the water and spread out so much it became harmless... but not before he could get a decent sample. Joker was screaming and shouting the entire time. Batman was tempted to just leave him there... the balloon wouldn't really sink enough to drown him. Probably. But he sighed and went over to get him to shore, handcuffing him to a lamppost instead.

"Your little tantrum is over."

"My GAS! MY PRECIOUS GAS!" Joker freaked out, trying to climb up the post, clawing to try and get the cuffs off. Batman just turned around as he heard approaching sirens, cape billowing in the wind. Joker's screams could be heard an entire block away... and it wouldn't be the last time.

Batman quickly returned to his base, making the antidote as quickly as possible. "Thank god... I better keep some extra, just in case..."

He glanced at the guard.

"Let's get you out of here first. Can't have you giving away where I live..."

The guard could almost get words out at this point, all muffled and pure gibberish pained giggles through his teeth.

Poor dude. But he'd be fine soon. Once Bats took him out of the cave and to an alleyway not too far from the road to Arkham, Bats gave him the antidote and stayed long enough to make sure he was functioning properly.

"HoooooHOOOOLY SHIT MAN!?" The guard shouted as soon as he could. "Owowowoowowowowowowoowowowowoow!" He slapped his cheeks a ton as the sides of his mouth looked like they could tear at any moment. Yeah- Bats figured that'd hurt after so long. At least he was able to move, and his teeth looked normal again.

"Are you alright? Did he do anything else to you?" He asked, trying to not sound as threatening while still holding back his natural German accent. He needed to practice that more-

"N-no-" The guard continued checking his face, clearly in pain. "Just hit the gas in my face and left!" He then paused. "H-Hold on! Where- Is this your base?!"

"No. Go back to Arkham, Joker should be arriving there soon as a proper inmate." Batman stood up, having knelt beside the man while he recovered. He went to walk to his car to drive back home, but-

"Wait!! You can't just leave me here!" The guard staggered upwards.

"You're a block away from Arkham's main entrance. If you're that lost, you can ask for directions." Batman assured, opening up his car and hopping in. "Be careful."

The guard just stared at him in shock. Who- Who was the other guy??? How did he- What were both of these guys???

This was all just a bad dream- the guard started walking off best he could once the vigilante drove off.

"It's just a bad dream-"

Though after being questioned by the police later that day, he couldn't say that any longer.

This Batman guy was the real deal. And he had properly gotten the clown creep locked up. Not only that, he saved the city single-handedly... and his life from being reduced to smiling and giggling at nothing.

The guard couldn't help but be slightly thankful. And he refused to do any jobs related to the inmate, Joker.

The only thing the guard ever heard or saw of Joker months after that was his laughs that echoed throughout his night shifts. Constant laughter, at varying volumes. It was a sound that he couldn't get out of his head. Probably never would be able to. That, and the stories from other guards of seeing the pale crazed man just staring at the ceiling, talking with something or someone.

"We are two sides of the same card," or some iteration of the phrase was what he always heard from those stories.

Joker had properly lost his marbles.

---

Hope everyone enjoyed that! Please, if you think anyone you know will enjoy this, feel free to spread the word :D

(F̸̢̛̞͓͓̲͚̞̰̯̩̲̫͙̂̂̾͐̎́ͅȨ̸̼̘͆͛̅̃́͐̽͑͝͝E̸̯̺̹̤̲̟͑͐̿̃ͅD̶̨̨̧̧̛̛̻̟̬͈͇͚̮̗̣̏̃̆̃́͒́̾̀̃̃͘͘͜ ̶̢̽͂͌̄̔̑̍͐͋̇T̸͎͓̏̿̌͊̄̋͑H̶̻̹͇̉̄̀́́͑̇̃̀͋͊̅̽͜͝E̴̢̨̛̲̱̦̟̟̭̙͑̓̇̽̏͊̈̈͒͗͆̒̚͘ ̵̢̜̪͙̩̣͎̅͋̇̿̾̑̀ͅA̵̺̖͋͆͋̂̑̿͆̉̉͘Ļ̶̺̲͚̞̼͔̪͘G̷̨̙͈̞̰͎͕̟̭̗͇̳̒͐͊͂̉͋͋̎̇̔̇Ọ̵̢̧̻͕͍͔̗̺͎͖͕̇ͅR̵̡̨̼̪͚̯͓̙̘͉̗̬̠̓͊̔͒̈́̈̓̔̄̌̚I̷̡̧̮̲̠̦̭͖̯͖͙̗̺͉̅͆̽̀̾́̈́͐͝T̶̯̟̲̮̓͊̀̀̂͆̓̅͌̈́̋͌̀̎͛Ḧ̸̡̡̖̬̪͇̙̭̗̤́̐̔̓̽̚ͅͅM̸̤̣̬̝̳͂̌)

Anyway, have an amazin' day, evening, and night <3 G'bye until next time

- CinnabonSys (*mischievous giggle*)