Of all Sad Words of Tongue or Pen, the Saddest are these, "It Might Have Been."

GEORGE ADE

Chapter 6

Jim’s POV

I got in the car and drove. I wasn’t sure where I was going I just had to get away from everything. I opened up the glove compartment and popped 2 pills in my hand and swallowed them with out water.

I had to get my fucking head on straight. I ended up at the gym. Thank got our gym is open 24 hours. I pulled my gym bag from the back of my trunk and went inside. I went to the punching bag and started to just punch.

I was filled with so much rage. I remember how I used to pick fights when the rage would hit just so I would feel better. After getting help from specialists I know I’ll be ok. It’s just when things trigger an episode that I get enraged.

I learned to deal with it since I never know what will trigger them. I felt so bad for leaving Harley like that but I was scared I would hurt her. Know I think I lost my chance at real love.

But I would rather loss her then ever bodily hurt her. I know what Freddy did to Janet. I would die If I ever did that to her.

I continue to punch the bad hoping to exhaust myself.

Amy Lu’s POV

I was doing a mighty fine job getting under Patrick’s skin. I was still dancing but I did notice that he was now drinking a lot. Well I think it’s time to head home.

I get off the dance floor and walk over to him. “Stop drinking come on lets go home.” I tell him and he looks at me a little upset.

But he gets up anyway. “Sam we are out of here.” I tell him.

“I’m staying I’ll find a ride home.” He tells us.

“ Give me the keys all this dancing burned my buzz off. So I’m driving.” I tell him.

He’s quiet all the way home, so I don’t say anything. Then we get ther and I kick off my shoes and he’s still looking at me with this look in his eye’s I’ve never seen before.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I ask him.

He just turned away and went to got get a beer. “Shit there’s no more beers in here what the hell.” He says all made.

Then he walks over and get’s his keys. “where do you think your going?” I ask him.

“I’m going to go get some beer I need to cool off.” he tells me as he walks to the door.

“Well can I go with you?” I ask him.

He turns around and looks me up and down and I see the lust in his eyes before he blanks it. “Hell no your not going to the liquor store looking like a prostitute. They’ll think I’m soliciting sexual favors.” He tells me and my jaw drops.

“You a*shole I scream at him as I grab the empty beer bottle from the counter and throw it at him. Damn my aim was off and it shattered on the wall behind him.

Then he left.

Jim’s POV

I was sitting in the back of the gym holding my hands that where red and raw from all that punching I did. But I did not feel all the soreness and pain in my body. I was finally relaxed.

Then I see Patrick walk in or stagger a little as he walked in front of the punching bag and started to go off on it. Like I just finished doing not to long ago. Poor bag didn’t hurt anyone I smirked.

“What the fu*k,” smack “is that woman” Smack “thinking” smack “dressing like” smack “that” smack. Patrick was talking out loud in between punches.

“I hate “ smack “Her” smack “No!” smack “I Love” smack “her” smack “why” smack “is she” smack “such” smack “a tease” smack.

“You know you are going to truly regret not putting gloves on.” I tell him and he jumps.

“What the hell is wrong with you people wanting me to get a stroke.” He says holding his chest, I laugh.

“You know that girl loves you and your being a total jerk with her. Why don’t you just tell her you love her?” I ask him

“I can’t I’m Fu*ked up. I’m damaged goods. My brain is mush man you know what I mean.” he tells me.

“Yeah Harley tried to get creative tonight and I didn’t know her intentions. Man she freaking cuffed me to the bed.” I tell him and he moved to my side and gripped my shoulder.

“Please tell me you did not react like Freddy” he said.

“No man but my panic rose to an all time high and I made her take them off and I left before I hurt her.” he looked at my hands then at his.

“We truly are a lost cause” Patrick said sadly.

I shake my head no “I Love her and I want to be with her. Freddy is getting help. When he comes back I think we should go with him.” I tell him.

“Yeah I think it’s time to really commit to getting help I love Amy Lu to now lets go get shit faced.” So we left to get drunk.

Patrick’s POV

The next morning I woke up in my bed still completely dressed and my window was open. I got up and went to see Amy Lu. She wasn’t there. Then the night before slammed into my brain. What I called her and I know she threw something at me.

I went and got drunk locked my keys in my car so I had to crawl in through the window. I went to see Amy Lu and she wasn’t there in her bed.

Crap I’m in the dog house now.

I got dressed and figured she went home. But before I go see her I have to make one stop first. I walked out of the house and saw my car parked on the front lawn. What the hell did I do last night?

I headed for Harleys house. I did surveillance one night with Jim. I was all mad but now I’m happy I did it. I walked to her door and knocked. Her friend Kinky opened the door.

“I know your not up in my house at this ungodly hour.” she says all mad.

I look at my watch “it’s 11:30” I tell her.

“Yeah but we went to bed about an hour ago. What the hell did your friend do to my girl?” She asked.

“That’s why I’m here. I need to do damage control. He’ll be gone for to days. I don’t want her to suffer. Can I see her” I asked.

She let me in and I walk to the door she pointed out. Wow this place was nice. I don’t know what I expected. Maybe a striper pole in the living room. Or some dirty you know toys laying around.

I shook my mind clear as I knocked at the door. ”Harley can I come in?” I asked.

“Yeah” she said and I did. Making sure to close the door behind me.

She looked a mess. She was wearing flannel pajamas and her hair was in a messy ponytail and her eyes where bloodshot. Her nose was red and her face was puffy. I’m guessing from crying all night.

I got an Image of Amy Lu in my head and my heart hurt.

“I need to talk to you about last night. There are some things you need to know. It will all make you understand him a little more.” I tell her.

I see the tears in her eyes and I approach her. She lunges at me and I hold her while she cries. “ He, he thi..thinks I’m a slu…slut” She wails.

I laugh and she glares at me through her tears.

“Oh honey far from it. He loves you.” I tell her.

She sniffed “He said that to me yesterday but the slammed the door and left.” She tells me.

“Listen I’m not going to give specifics but just the condensed version. Years ago when we where on a mission Jim was our sniper cover. Sam, Freddy and Me where on ground cover. Long story short we got captured and cuffed to a wall for an obscene amount of time. We where tortured and I don’t want to get in specifics but. We still have not fully managed to live with it. When you um did what you did. You sent his mind back to that place and all he wanted was to be free.” I look at her in hopes that she would piece the puzzle together.

I have already overstepped our friendship just being her now. “He loves you trust me. But give him these 2 days to get a grip on reality again and I’m sure he will come and explain everything in as much detail as he can. Please don’t throw away what could be the best thing for the 2 of you.

Because judging from your state you are also in love with him right?” I asked her.

She sniffed and nodded yes. “That’s a good girl I knew it. He is going to need a lot of patience and understanding. When Freddy gets back I think we are going to have to see the specialist again. Janet Freddy’s fiancé is making him get help.

That’s why Jim left. Freddy has nightmares and one night when she tried to wake him. He choked her, she had to bash a lamp over his head to get him off her. Jim chose to leave you. Not that I think he would do any thing but he was in a bad place at the time.” I tell her.

“I didn’t know Patrick. I’m so sorry, I didn’t know. Poor Jim he doesn’t have to suffer alone He has me now.’ She tells me.

“Good to hear that honey now I have to go. I messed up royally last night to. I have to see if Amy Lu will forgive me.” I tell her.

“What did you do to her? She’s such a sweet girl. She loves you. “ Harley tells me.

“Yeah I know , my problem is I don’t think I’m good enough for her. You know damaged goods. She needs some one better.” I tell her.

“You came to see if I was ok and know your going to go make sure she’s ok. You care about your friends. In my book that makes you one of the good guys so please go tell her you love her to.” She tells me and I smile.

Amy Lu’s POV

I was sitting on my couch drinking some tea. My head hurt from all that crying I did last night. It finally hit home. He doesn’t want me.

That’s fine I’ll find a way to live without him. I’m going to have to find a new job. I can’t work with him or be in the same room with him. Without feeling like my heart is being ripped out of my chest.

Oh my God! What about when he does find the one he loves. I can’t be there to see him hold her or kiss her. “Oh no” I whisper just as the tears start again.

Then I hear a knock at my door and I wipe my eyes on my sleeve and go answer it. I freeze when I see him. The big jackass.

I try to slam the door in his face but he pushes it open with his hand. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry about last night.” He says as he makes his way in and locks the door behind him.

I glare at him as he walks to me “I’m sorry you cried. It hurts me just to think that it was me who caused you pain.” He then bends his head and kisses one eye, then the other.

“ The first day I saw you at the gym. I thought you where an angel. I would dream about you all the time. Then when Freddy brought you into our life. I thought I would die. I was so scared because of how you made me feel. Because I am not worthy of such a special fragile creature.” I tell her.

“Fragile I kicked your ass and through you over my shoulder. You landed at my feet.” She tells me.

“Let me finish woman” I tell her.

“We have been through a lot the guys and I” I say.

“Yeah Freddy kind of told me a little about your capture.” She tells me looking sympathetic.

I was shocked “I love you Patrick” she whispered looking me in the eyes with all her love shining in them for me to see.

“I love you to Amy Lu” I tell her as I crush my lips to her. I was like a starving man and she was the last bit of food left in the world.

I was like a drowning man and she was that last breath of air I was trying to get in my lungs. The hope for survival if it entered or death if it did not.

I needed her now I longed to be in her. To take her and make her mine. I stripped her naked in the blank of an eye. Then ripped off all my clothes. I had to be in her now. I laid her on the couch and laid on top of her. I positioned my self to go in her.

Just when I was getting ready to thrust in I heard her crying silently. What the hell.

“Amy Lu what’s wrong?” I ask all worried.

I moved to my side and cradled her body to me. She nuzzled her face in the crook of my neck and cried. They where heart wrenching sobs that broke my heart.

Maybe she decided she didn’t love me.

“Baby talk to me what happened? I asked as I felt her start to relax.

“I’m a tease Patrick. I thought I could sleep with you. But My father always taught me you should save your special gift to give to your husband. I thought I could do it but I can’t. I’m sorry, please don’t hate me.” Then she started to cry again.

I was confused. I didn’t ask her for a gift . What the hell is she talking about. I held her as she cried still in a daze. Then it hit me. Holy shit I put a finger under her chin and make her look me in the eyes. “Amy Lu are you trying to tell me you’re a virgin?” I whisper.

She nods her head yes and I see tears forming again.

I hug her to me so tightly I’m sure she can’t breath. “You silly girl, why would you apologize for that. I love and respect your morals. We don’t have to make love now. But I do want to but I will respect the promise you made to stay pure till marriage.” I hug her and kiss her head.

We stayed on the couch with her naked body tucked into my naked body and fell asleep together.

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Ahhhhhhhhhhh

Picture of Amy Lu and Patrick on the side bar…..

Listen to the song .. It inspired why he said that stupid thing to her that night. I love the song so I wanted to put it in my story so I made it work. Then it just flowed perfectly in the story…..

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