day 131

joshs mind

josh listened as tyler typed away at the computer. he moved back and forth between watching the tv and watching tyler.

he was working, and josh was just hanging out on the couch, a few conversations happening here and there.

i wonder what tyler's thinking right now?

probably about killing

i cant stop thinking about it

this must be what runs through his mind all the time

i get it

it's an itch i can't scratch

i want it to happen again

it's like, everything just clicked into place

my family, dallon, ryan, brendon, they would all be so disappointed

maybe if they felt what i felt they would understand

"are you hungry?" tyler asked, turning from his computer towards the couch.

"no i'm good." josh said.

"i'm fuckin starving." tyler mumbled, getting up and heading to the kitchen.

i'm in love with him i think

look at all he's done for me

he knew what i needed

he saw in me what i couldn't. he saw what i was capable of

i never would've been able to face it if it wasn't for him

he introduced me to this life

to the rush of the kill

the feeling i got when that knife went in, it felt so good

i was supposed to do this

i owe him my life.

"you gotta try this." tyler said, walking into the living room holding out a spoon with something purpleish it in.

"what the hell is that?" josh asked.

"it's like a blackberry syrup." tyler said.

"thats really good." josh nodded, after taking a taste of it.

"want some on some ice cream?"

"sure." josh smiled. tyler headed back to the kitchen

i cant believe i used to be scared of him

he was just trying to make me understand

i love this life

i'm insane

"here." tyler said, handing him a bowl of vanilla ice cream with the syrup all over it.

he went back and sat at his desk to do more work.

this really is delicious

i hope tyler cooks tonight

i love his cooking

maybe i should ask

"are you cooking tonight?" josh asked.

"i can." tyler turned and nodded.

"yes please." josh nodded.

"what do you want?" tyler asked.

"somethin fancy." josh shrugged.

"are you asking me on a date?" tyler chuckled.

"i could be." josh shrugged.

"i'll look up some recipes." tyler smiled. he searched for a moment.

"you like scallops?"

"yeah." josh nodded.

"'Seared Scallops and Baby Spinach with Spiced Pomegranate Glaze'." tyler read off his screen.

"sounds like a 5 star restaurant meal." josh said.

"perfect." tyler nodded. "want dessert?"

"sure." josh said.

"oh, we gotta go with crème brûlée." tyler said

"yes please." josh nodded. "that's my favorite."

"mine too." tyler nodded. "well i better get to cooking then, it's already 5." he looked at his watch.