On the way out from Dookki, I'm still living in my fantasy world.

My fantasy world works in this way—it's all fine and crystalline until one moment breaks it into a thousand pieces. Then I realize that my world isn't ideal at all, and that life is more bitter than sweet. Even though I've met one of my real life idols, the haze of delight that comes with that can't last forever. I must realize that Beomgyu and I live in entirely separate worlds.

As I walk with Beomgyu through the streets of Hongdae, as he's hidden in a face mask and large bucket hat, I'm reminded that I'm not so lucky after all. After this summer session, Beomgyu will forget me and return to his world of glamor. I will stay stuck in my world of heartbreak. How could I be so naive to think that Beomgyu will automatically be my friend for the rest of my life? It's a false hope. Maybe I wasn't so blessed after all to have him for my roommate.

"What do you want to do next?" Beomgyu asks. His eyes are bright and expecting.

I don't have the heart to tell him that my mood swings are acting up again. "Whatever you want to do," I say. "You know the city way better than I do."

I can tell that he's smiling even though his mouth is covered, because the corners of his eyes crinkle in delight. "I know the exact place that you'll love. Have you ever been to a Korean spa?"

I shake my head. "No, but—"

Maybe my negative emotions have manifested into the real world, because as soon as I'm about to answer Beomgyu, a scream from across the street pierces the atmosphere. "Beomgyu! It's Choi Beomgyu!"

I make out the simple Korean from the fans that begin to crowd on the opposite side of the street. One girl turns to two, and soon a whole tide of teenagers and young adults are marching their way through the Hongdae crowd to get to one fifth of TOMORROW X TOGETHER.

"Don't panic," Beomgyu says, wearing his best brave face.

He grabs my hand and begins to run. I don't have any time to protest. My feet keep up with his, pounding against the pavement as we both try to escape the hysteria forming in a thick wave behind us.

"Does this happen to you often?" I manage to get out while we're running. After we get away from most of the mob, Beomgyu decides to slow down into a jog.

His face isn't panicked at all—serene rather, like he was expecting to run into people who would shout his name. "It happens often enough. But I thought my disguise would work. Maybe I need a bigger bucket hat."

I laugh through the bitter taste on my tongue. "Maybe."

I continue to walk with him, trying to keep my spirits up. But the run-in with the mob is another reminder of just how different my and Beomgyu's worlds are. We're not meant to live in the same domain. We're too different. He's too good for someone like me.

Hongdae is a breathtaking sight, with shoppers carrying loads of paper and plastic bags, lighted signs displaying clothing at sale price, and a heaping amount of bars and noraebangs in the vicinity. On any other day, the sight of so much life would raise my spirits and give me reason to smile. For some reason, I can't get the mob out of my head.

Beomgyu has so many fans. I'm just a heartbroken kid who relies too much on his mother. Sometimes, I make myself sick.

Beomgyu notices my downcast mood after the sauna comes into sight—it's a huge sign displaying a sleeping mattress and a neon 24, broadcasting how it's open all day. "What's wrong?"

I could give him a lot of answers. A part of me just wants to act like everything is fine, that I'm not overwhelmed in his presence or that I don't feel insignificant beside him. The other part of me wants to spill all of my emotions.

For some reason, the second option appeals to me. I want to give him the truth—he deserves that for being such an angel to me. "My ex broke up with me just before I came to Korea," I say.

He pauses in his tracks, the openness on his face fading to sympathy. "Oh. Jayden, I'm so sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry," I say. "I felt like I needed to tell you. You're the first one in Seoul that showed kindness to me. I feel like I need to be honest with you."

"Tell me everything you want," he says. "I'm an open ear."

For some reason, the fact that he sees me as worthy squeezes the space around my heart. I feel like someone has an iron grip around my arteries, not letting the blood flow correctly throughout my body. Emotions flood my head. Soon, there are tears forming on the corners of my eyes.

"Oh!" Beomgyu draws nearer, setting one hand on my shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know," I say. "I guess I just miss him a lot."

Beomgyu nods. "We're only a few paces away from the spa. Do you think you can make it?"

I shudder in my spot, my vision flooding with blind spots from my tears. "I don't know," I say, again.

Beomgyu shuffles me over to the side stores, between one selling brown sugar boba and another clothing retailer with a ton of fake Supreme merchandise. "It's okay. Let's stay here until you calm down."

"I don't know if I'll ever be calm again," I say, my first tear falling. It makes way for a full-on twin waterfall on my face. I can't seem to stop the flow. I'm too deep into my feelings.

Way to go. I'm ruining my first full day of hanging out with my idol, and it's all because of someone across the oceans, who left me in the dust for someone else.

"Do you still love him?" Beomgyu asks me, his voice calm and delicate. "Ah. Maybe that's a stupid question. You most likely still do, yeah?"

"Yes," I say, sputtering through my tears. "I don't know why but I still do."

Beomgyu nods. Then he comes close and shocks my world, wrapping me in a hug that can only remind me of a grizzly bear comforting her child. "You didn't deserve it. I don't know the full story, but I believe you'll find healing in Seoul. I'll see to it myself."

"You don't have to do any of that," I manage to say through a haze of snot and tears.

He shakes his head. "We're roommates, Jayden. That means we have to look out for each other. Let me help you heal from your breakup. It'll be my pleasure."

"Are you sure?" I ask. The whole mob situation catches up to me, and know I'm breathing through short spurts. "You're an idol. You have so many better things to do with your time."

He looks a bit offended. "Jayden, I'm a human being like you are. You deserve to have a great time in Seoul, and I'm going to help you all I can. Got it?"

I close my eyes. Beomgyu's words are sweet, enveloping me in a grace that I never felt with my ex boyfriend. Beomgyu is genuine, and he wants to help me. And even though the thought of him seeing me as valuable is a stretch for me, I want to take his offer. I want to be someone strong enough to move past my first love.

"Got it," I say. "Now let's see what the Korean spa is all about."