The embarrassment is like a stone lodged straight in the pit of my stomach.

I recall my relationship with Beomgyu over the past two weeks. Thinking about it, I was nothing more than an obsessed fan. I gawked over his presence, took advantage of him by treating him like a boyfriend. I even managed to hurt him in this short period of time. I acted like I was his good friend when really I was just enamored by his status as an idol.

Naomi and Joyce are right. I'm just as bad as a sasaeng. In many ways, I'm worse. I got into Beomgyu's life like a parasite and expected him to comfort me through the pangs of heartbreak.

My phone buzzes again, this time from Beomgyu's messages. I don't have the heart to respond to him. Maybe in time, I'll be able to apologize to his face. But right now I want to be alone. Naomi and Joyce's accusations that I'm like a parasite are too much for me to process. I need time to sit down and cry.

I find myself in the corner of a fancy cafe, sitting down after ordering a coffee that cost me ten dollars. I sip the bitter liquid while the tears form in my eyes, falling down like miniature waterfalls. I take out my phone and read Beomgyu's Kakao messages.

I saw what they said about you on Twitter, he says.

Everything they said isn't true. Please talk to me about it.

I'll be here when you're ready. Just call me.

I want to throw my phone against the wall and watch the screen shatter. Beomgyu is too nice for his own good. Of course he would find it within himself to comfort me when I've done nothing but continue to take from him. I really was like a leech for the span of two weeks, sucking away his presence for myself and not thinking about the negative effect I would have on him. Naomi and Joyce are right.

After my drink is finished, I walk outside and wonder whether I'll be noticed as the boy who took advantage of a beloved idol. Thankfully, no one stops or stares at me, everyone too busy being absorbed by the big city life.

I find myself within the large expanse of the Starfield COEX Mall. I enter through the library, where towering bookcases hold an endless amount of titles. I make my way through the maze of the mall, trying to numb my emotions through window shopping and people watching. I feel my pulse calming down, my mind settling over the fact that I was targeted online by two girls with a large Twitter account.

I walk past the COEX aquarium. There, I recognize a shock of brown hair from a tall boy a year younger than me.

Huening Kai.

He turns and waves when he notices me passing. He's holding a GoPro, filming himself as he enters the aquarium's entrance.

"Jayden!" he shouts out. I have no choice but to go his way, where he treats me with a big smile and an excited shake.

"Hi Huening Kai," I say, my voice a bit hoarse from the crying.

He appraises me with no judgement. "Jayden, I heard what happened online. You have to know that none of what they said was true."

I nod, and now that I'm calmer I can distinguish more of the truth of my and Beomgyu's relationship. Maybe I wasn't such a big leech after all. "You really think so?"

Huening Kai nods. "Yup. Now, I'm supposed to film myself enjoying the aquarium for a special content for our fans. Do you want to come along?"

I nod, letting myself be led into the ticketing area. Despite my protests, Huening Kai pays for both of our tickets.

We enter the aquarium, where we're first greeted by tanks of tropical fish. Pink, orange, and blue—you name it. They're surrounded with an array of coral, housed in giant floor-to-ceiling tanks. Next, we make our way to the main event, where sharks and larger species swim above us through a glass tunnel. We stand on a moving walkway, admiring the stingray and the sharks that swim above us in slow patterns.

"This is amazing," Huening Kai says. "Aren't you glad you came?"

I nod. "I'm happy I came."

It's true. Huening Kai has an effect on people where his presence brings out nothing but joy. He looks at things with a childlike wonder, and he admires the fish as if seeing them for the first time. In our silent tour of the aquarium, he makes me feel better just by pointing at his favorite attractions and commenting on his own starstruck-ness every once in a while.

Soon, we reach his favorite attractions. "Penguins!" he exclaims. "I love them so much."

I stand next to Huening Kai as he bobs his head along with the penguins' movements. As they swim and plop onto the ice, Huening Kai sighs in amazement. We stay here for a long while, Huening Kai filming his expressions for the future enjoyment of his fans.

Eventually, I gain the courage to talk about Naomi and Joyce. "Do you think Beomgyu will still want to be my friend after this?"

Huening Kai looks at me with a frown. "Jayden, Beomgyu won't abandon you just because of what some girls said online. He's going to stay by your side—he's actually a very loyal person."

"You think so?" I ask, just as a pair of penguins jump into the waters together.

The penguins twirl in the pool and treat the viewers to their hoops and twirls. "Yup," Huening Kai responds. "He probably wants to respond to the girls right now. But our agency makes that impossible. Don't worry—I bet BigHit will figure out something to stop the bullying."

"No, no." I wave my hands in front of me. "That's too much. I don't want to cause the company any trouble."

"Their bullying involves Beomgyu too," Huening Kai says. "They're making a lot of false assumptions about him."

"I guess that's true," I say. "But still, I can handle it on my own. I don't want to stir up even more drama."

"We'll see," Huening Kai says. "I'm sure it'll work out in the end."

I stare at Huening Kai, admiring his relaxed face. "How do you do this?"

Huening Kai stops his admiration of the penguins to look back at me. "Do what?"

"It seems that you aren't affected at all by the opinions online," I say. "Even though you guys have a lot of haters, you always power through. It doesn't seem like the hate affects you too much."

Huening Kai nods. "It did affect me at first. But I've learned not to think too much about negative opinions. I only focus on the fans who appreciate us. And overall, I stopped being so much of a thinker. I just act and live one day at a time."

I nod. "That's a good mindset to have. Maybe I should just stop thinking so much."

Huening Kai nods. "This business isn't for everyone. I'm sorry that you got dragged into some nasty drama. Those girls aren't really our fans."

"I'm sorry too," I say. "I'm sure I caused a lot of trouble just by being Beomgyu's roommate."

"Don't say that," Huening Kai says. "You are our greatest present in coming to Hankuk's summer school. Don't think anything less of yourself."

Here, soaking in the presence of TXT's youngest and the penguins, I find my confidence building again. I know exactly what I'll say to Beomgyu when I face him again. I know that I'll be stronger than I was when I first opened that cursed Twitter thread.