**** Sorry I'm so in and out guys, I've got something wrong with my jaw that needs fixing, and I just started my senior year today, so daily updates may not be a possibility for a while :/ but I will try to update at least a few times a week. Good song for this story (at this point in time): Comatose by Skillet. And Tonight by FM Static. 

Don't hate me, I'm sorry ahh, but you know me by now, it couldn't just be that simple, there's lots more in store ;) It will get better though, I promise you. Little by little, it'll get better. I hope you enjoy*

*Ryker* 

When I fell on him, I knew I wouldn't be able to leave. It was hard enough trying to stay away from him on my own.

And what with his hands on my hips to keep me from falling off of him, and his beautiful brown eyes looking down at me in surprise, his lips slightly open, his chest warm and firm under my hands, I just couldn't keep away. 

I leaned in quickly, not even aware of what I was doing as I was doing it. 

But as soon as I felt his soft lips that tasted sweeter than I could possibly imagine, I knew I had made a mistake. 

I quickly pulled away and grabbed Lester, apologizing profusely and not daring to look at Ronnie, embarrassed and scared to see his response. 

I ran as fast as I could, hardly paying attention to Lester, who was running beside me, his long strides easily matching me. 

I can't believe I did that! I can't believe it! 

I kissed him! I fucking kissed him! 

I could still feel the sensation of his soft lips on mine, his warm chest underneath my hands. 

And sweet Jinxx, my heart had been hammering in my chest, echoing in my eyes, and he had looked so gorgeous, and I couldn't help myself, and I had kissed him, and he hadn't kissed back, but he also hadn't pushed me away, and my lips had almost forgotten the taste of his lips and- 

I found myself standing at the door to my apartment. I don't even remember getting here, but I managed to get my key out and unlock the door and I slipped Lester out of his leash and he went scrambling off to get water. 

I poured some food in his bowl, and then I sauntered towards the bedroom, walking past Leah and Ryan, who were sitting on the couch looking at me strangely. 

I smiled blissfully at them and walked past, teetering from side to side with a stupid grin on my face. 

"What's up with her?" Ryan mumbled to Leah, who shrugged and whispered "I have no idea." 

"His lips are so soft........and sweet....warm.....perfect" I sighed dreamily, padding into the bedroom and slumping down on the bed. I lay like that for a while, smiling up at the ceiling daydreaming about random nonsense, none of it making any sense, and all of it involving Ronnie. 

I fantasized about his lips, and how his arms felt like home. I dreamed about making love to him, feeling him on top of me, underneath me, all over me, every part of him pressed against every part of me. 

I dreamed about his hair in my fists when I kissed him, tugging. I dreamed about hearing his deep, throaty groans, his breathless pants. I dreamed about his hands on my butt, my boobs, my hips, everywhere he could get them. I dreamed about fucking him until our bodies were so exhausted we couldn't go on.

I dreamed about his warm arms holding me safe in his grasp. I dreamed about him. 

*Ronnie* 

It had taken ages for me to be able to stand up, and I walked back home blankly.

 My mind was blank, and full of thoughts and images and shit all at once. 

I sat on my bed, staring blankly at the wall while thousands of thoughts whizzed through my mind.

Ryker had fallen on me, her body crashing into mine, pressing against me with a wonderful, painful thud. 

She had stared into my eyes, laying her hands on my chest and pressing into it slightly. 

She had stared at me and she had leaned in and kissed me, on the lips, with her lips.....

She kissed me. Holy fuck, she kissed me. 

She kissed me....How could she do that?

How dare she kiss me and remind me how soft and warm her lips are, how the feeling of them against my lips feel like heaven and remind me how nice it was to have her in my arms, and how she looked when she was naked and breathless, panting for me to touch her, hold her, feel her, love her-

This is why I didn't want this to happen, because it's so god damn hard to stay away from her and keep up my walls now that I remember freshly what it feels like to have her, to hold her, to kiss her, to know that she's mine and she loves me and to know that I could make her breathless and- 

I sighed and lay back, reaching over to the side of the bed that she used to sleep on; always the left. She had been gone for months now, away from me, and I still slept mostly to the right side, like maybe if I left her side open then she would come back to me and it would be like nothing ever happened. 

I remember every night we spent in this bed. I remember the cuddles, the kisses, the breathless laughs, the deep conversations, the random babbling, everything. 

Most nights were spent talking and joking and kissing heavily.

But the one night....I remember the one night we had spent keeping each other up with breathless moans and wandering hands, biting kisses and teasing touches-

I could see it like it was happening now, I could see her on top of me, rocking on me and rolling her hips, looking down at me, biting her lip, her eyes heavy. 

I could see her under me, breathless, moaning, body shaking, hands wandering all over me, scraping down my back.

I could feel her on top of me, like it was happening now, I could feel her legs wrapped around mine, I could feel her chest pressed to mine, I could feel her hands on my chest, my back, anywhere she could get them. 

I could feel her nails digging into my back, hear her panting, feel her teeth grazing against my neck when she kissed and bit me. 

I could feel her hands on my scalp, pulling and tugging on my hair, I could feel her lips on mine, biting and pulling, and I could feel her bottom lip between my teeth when I bit it, making her squirm and push against me. 

I could remember every moment. 

I could still taste her lips on mine. 

Why did she have to kiss me? It makes everything so much harder......