**** Song is Cold by Crossfade, it fits Ronnie's point of view in my opinion. It shows how he knows he's being cold towards Ryker and he doesn't mean to but he just finds himself acting like that, almost without being able to help it. 

I know that most of the time 2 pit bulls of the same sex don't get along well, but for this story, I'm making an exception, alrightie? 

I hope you enjoy****

*Ronnie* 

~

Ryker's voice was breathless as she smashed her lips on mine, surprising me with her forceful, desperate kiss. 

Her hands quickly found their way up my shirt, and she shoved me on the bed, crawling on top on me and pulling my shirt up to my neck, where she stared at me until I pulled it all the way off. 

She tilted her head and just stared at me for a moment, probably surprised that I had let her go this far already, since lately all I had done was push her away. But I couldn't do anything to stop her; I didn't want to stop her. Her touch did more to me than alcohol ever could. I felt like I was on fire, and with every touch she sent me deeper into my ecstatic frenzy. 

She straddled me, rocking her body back and forth on me, biting and tugging on my lip and pulling on my hair harshly. Her love-making fit our love; it was harsh and rough and almost violent, but it had undertones of good intentions. 

She pulled away and started to kiss my neck, her fingers fumbling with pants, unbuttoning them and pulling at the zipper teasingly. She made her way to my shoulder, leaving light kisses down my neck. She started kissing her way down my chest, and with each kiss she slid down farther, rubbing against me in a way that made my vision go cloudy. 

When she passed my belly button I knew exactly where this was going, and my heart started going crazy, my body trembling ever-so-slightly. I clench my fists at my sides as she hovers her head directly over my boxers, pulling them down so slowly I feel like I might explode before she even starts the real teasing. 

Finally she pulls them completely off and she sits up to look at me before leaning down and putting her lips on my- 

~ 

There's a weight on my chest and I open my eyes to find Charlie whining down at me. I wave him off and sit up, sighing deeply and rubbing my face with my hands. God damn me and my fucking dreams. Fucking hell. How can she still haunt my dreams like that even when I'm convincing myself daily that I hate her? 

I know there's something in me that still likes her, but I'm just.....I don't know. She really messed up what we had, and I'm scared to let myself feel things for her again because I don't know if she'll do it again. I don't know if she's relapsed into drugs again or what is going on with her. 

I have no fucking idea, so what the hell am I supposed to think? I made the mistake of trusting her before, and now that I have to trust myself I just don't know what to think anymore.

For all I know, she doesn't even like me....so....

I tried not to focus on that, instead going to take a shower. I stood under the water flow for a long time, letting my mind drift in all different directions, most of them involving Ryker in one way or another. 

When I couldn't take it anymore, I turned off the water and got dressed quickly, groaning to myself about how I needed to get my head out of the gutter, and stop thinking about Ryker. I especially had to stop dreaming about her underneath me, her breathless moans, her pleading, her lingering touch, her biting lips, her hands tugging my hair and I sent her over the edge and made her- 

Fucking hell, I need to stop, but I can't. I can't stop thinking about her, whether it's angry or not, she still takes up my mind. 

We only had sex once, but it was the best sex I could remember having, and I had looked forward to exploring things with her, before she...before she ran away. And now she's back, and she wants things back to the way they were, but I can't do that. I can't. I can't forget the months I spent feeling worthless because she had left me, I can't forget the months I spent reliving her betrayal night after night. Trust me, I've tried; I can't forget. 

But I also can't forget the feeling of her soft lips on me, her body on mine, the feeling of her-

I mean, I was mad at Ryker and yet here I was imagining kissing her, imagining her giving me a-.....

Yeah, I really need to stop. Who knows what I'll think up next, honestly. 

I ate and lifted weights for a while, trying and failing to get Ryker out of my head. 

Charlie was looking at me like I was being stupid, so I just grumbled at him and grabbed his leash, deciding to take him to an old park with a grassy area that used to be a soccer field. Everyone here goes to all the stores and the beach, so no one really comes to the park. So, it's the perfect place to let Charlie play around without his leash. He's pretty good with listening, but I can't say he's never darted off on me before. 

When we made it there, it was empty, just as expected. I let Charlie off the leash and he went running over to the trees, sniffing everywhere, his tail high and wagging. I sat down on a bench and watched him, tapping my hands on the metal to make a beat. I started humming and making up lyrics, random crap that I would forget as soon as I stopped singing. 

It's always nice to come here and be away from everyone and everything, just be here alone here with Charlie and let him run around everywhere. It's a nice open area, and there's fencing around so he can't get too far. 

It was all going fine until suddenly Charlie stood straight up and tensed. I quickly stood up and sternly said "Charlie...come...", but it was too late, Charlie bolted and I cursed and chased after him. 

He got to the end of the park and I stopped halfway there, staring over at him. 

He was wrapping himself around another dog that was pressed into a girls side. A girl with red hair and chains and-It was Ryker. 

Of fucking course. I come here to try and get Ryker out of my head, so of course she shows up. With.....when did she get a dog? 

She was petting Charlie, and then she stood up straight like she realized I was here. She looked up and met my eyes, and it was far away but I'm pretty sure she gave me a half-smile. I sighed and turned away, moving back to sit on the bench.

I leaned onto my knees and held my head in my hands, breathing deeply. 

Whenever I see her now, my heart goes crazy and my body feels on fire, and my brain tells me to hate her, but my body begs for her touch, and it's so hard to choose between the two and constantly fight with myself about everything.

I heard her coming, and I didn't say anything; I didn't tell her to sit, but I didn't tell her that she shouldn't. 

She sat beside me, a little ways away, but I could still feel her presence next to me. 

"I'm sorry. I didn't know you'd be here. Otherwise I wouldn't have-" she stammered, and I could imagine her reaching out to me slightly, an overwhelmed blush on her face. 

"It's not like it's my park" I said. I was trying to be civil, but it came out cold and I could practically hear her cringe. 

"Right...well...I'll just leave..." she said, and my brain cheered 'yes', but my heart banged against my chest until I spoke up without meaning to. "You can stay if Charlie's happy" I said, surprising myself, and Ryker, I'm sure. 

"Charlie and Lester seem to like each other" she said, and I huffed a little; my attempt at a laugh. 

Even without meaning to, I managed to be harsh and cold with everything I said and did. Now maybe it was me fucking things up between us.......I wanted to care but....the hurt, the pain was making me bitter. 

She coughed and I heard her stand up. "Well, Lester and I have to go anyways, so...." she said quickly, and I knew she was lying, but I couldn't bring myself to look at her or move at all. I felt her eyes on me but soon enough she turned away. 

I moved my hands to my sides, gripping the bench tightly, but kept my head down. 

It seemed like she was going to leave, and I was staring at the ground, but I could see her legs, so I saw it coming when Charlie jumped backwards and slammed into her, buckling her legs a bit. 

What I didn't see coming, however, was her falling. I didn't expect it, but all of a sudden she was in my lap and slamming against my chest. 

I grunted at the force of her shoulder slamming into my chest, and then she was turning her head to look at me. Her hand was on my chest from when she fell; obviously she had seen it coming and had her hand out to try and slow herself down. 

She relaxed her hand and spread her fingers out, obviously not wanting to move anytime soon, and she looked at me with wide eyes and parted lips. 

"Sorry" she said, and I was about to respond when I felt her hands tighten and then she was gripping my shirt in her fists and pressing her lips against mine, leaning into me completely. 

I stared at her with wide eyes, never in a million years expecting her to kiss me. 

She pulled away and stared at me in shock and alarm, quickly standing up and stuttering "S-sorry! I'm sorry, oh god, I'm sorry".

I couldn't say anything, instead I sat there just staring up at her in surprise. She was blushing like mad and she quickly hooked a leash on her pit bull-Lester?- and quickly ran away in horror.

I just sat there in surprise for a while. 

I reached up to my lips and touched them softly, trying to let everything sink in. 

She had kissed me. Ryker had kissed me.