**** I've got, well, good and bad news all in one. I'm going to be visiting my best friend that I hardly ever see, and I'll be staying with her for a while. That's good for me cause yay I get to see her.

But it's also bad I guess, for you, cause I won't be updating while I'm with her, I'll be spending time with her.

So I'm sorry guys, but this might be the last update, at least until next week maybe. Sorry. Ill try to update again, but I can't promise anything.

Another clarification: Ryker doesn't love Ashley, not as anything more than a friend. She considers it, but she doesn't actually have romantic or overly sexual feelings towards him.

I had this written at 12 this morning but wattpad wouldn't let me update.... What the shite****

Every moment that I spent on the motorcycle, speeding down roads, past houses, clubs, bars, I felt myself become calmer.

I let go of Ashley's back, no longer needing the support he gave me with his warmth, and held my arms out, moving my hands in the wind.

I missed the simplicity of not liking anyone. Hell, loving Ronnie was hard right now.

I'd always love him, but I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if I loved Ashley.

Lately all Ronnie gave me was cold, and Ashley, he made me warm, almost lively again.

But what am I thinking?

Loving Ashley would be just as hard. He didn't date, and even if we did fuck regularly, I could be pretty certain that he would fuck other girls too.

No matter who you love, it would be hard. I wish I could just love myself and no one else.

But I have a feeling even loving myself would be too hard for me. I just couldn't quite do it. There was nothing to love.

I shook the thought clear from my head and leaned back on the backrest, letting myself feel the wind lick my face, drying out my tears, the air sifting through my fingers and making me feel like I could almost be flying right now.

I don't know how long we were gone, or what time we left, but by the time he pulled into the parking lot to my apartment building, it was well into the early morning.

I got off and started to go in, but paused when I heard him shut off the engine.

"Ashley?" I questioned, uncertainty rising in my stomach.

What was he doing? I wouldn't mind him sleeping the night if he was too tired to get home, but, he didn't seem tired in the least. So did he see someone?

"Ill walk you up, make sure you get there safely" he said, and I felt my heart thump in appreciation.

I blushed and nodded, waiting for him by the door.

I thought I saw someone inside, but I looked towards Ashley to see where he was, and when I turned back the figure was gone.

Weird. It's probably my imagination; I'm probably just making up scenarios and imagining that people are watching me.

They don't seem sinister, just watchful.

They probably don't even exist. Or maybe it's just a nosy neighbor, or a cleaning lady. I don't know. I don't want to think about it.

As we walked towards the stairs, I gave Ashley a look out of the corner of my eye.

He turned to look at me and raised his eyebrow, giving him a comical curious look. I laughed and thumped his arm, shaking my head.

How is it that he could always make me laugh no matter what happened?

He grinned back at me and then gave me a chance to speak.

"If you walk me home, then who will make sure you get home safely? This could turn into a never-ending cycle of walking each other home" I said, grinning a bit and nudging his shoulder.

He laughed and shook his head, giving me a half-hearted eye roll. "I can just text you when I get home" he said, and I shrugged.

"But how do I know someone didn't make you do it?" I replied, and he started to speak, probably telling me that was crazy, but then stopped.

Maybe he thought of what he knew about what I had gone through, or maybe it was just so dark he started considering it. But either way he nodded softly.

"I guess I'll just have to stay over then" he said, smirking and raising and lowering his eyebrows quickly.

By now we had made it to my door, and I pulled out my key to unlock it, knowing that although Leah was probably worried about me, she had likely fallen asleep waiting for me.

"Guess so" I replied, winking jokingly at him. He laughed and nodded, and I unlocked the door and led him inside.

I showed him the guest bedroom and he hugged me goodnight, giving my stomach a warm fuzzy feeling.

I could never tell him just how grateful I was to have him. The things he did, little things that just made my world a great deal brighter. One smile could change my mood from down to sky-high.

When I was sure he was settled, I walked to the couch where, sure enough, Leah was curled up.

I picked her up softly and walked to our room, laying her down on the bed and pulling the covers over her.

I had half a mind to crawl in with her and sleep the day off, but my breath probably stunk and my body was covered in sweat and exhaust.

I took a quick shower, in the bathroom farthest from the bedrooms to try and disturb them as little as possible.

Then I got ready for bed and walked back to my room in a towel, hoping that Ashley wouldn't get an impulse to come out just as I walked past the guest room.

He didnt, and I made it safely to the bedroom. I quickly found another pair of pajamas and crawled in bed, exhausted.

I pulled Leah close to me and fell asleep buried in her shoulder, her hands laced into mine.