"Gomen, Hokage-sama forgot to tell me what time the academy started."

Akari innocently lied to Iruka. Sasuke sweatdropped.

At least she makes legitimate excuses, unlike the bullshit Kakashi gives people...

"You must be the new student! No worries, introduce yourself to the class!"

Iruka told her.

And he believed her word for word...

Once again, Sasuke sweatdropped.

"My name is Akari Hatake. I have many dislikes, and very few likes in particular. It wouldn't be a wise idea to cross or underestimate me. Questions?"

She said, not really caring about detail, or her introduction as a whole for that matter. Sakura raised her hand.

"Yes?"

Akari asked. Sakura glared at her. "Stay away from my Sasuke-kun!" She threatened. Akari looked up.

"Okay...stay away from the hoe's crush. Got it."

Then she walked towards an empty seat, dropping a note on Sasuke's desk as she passed. He unfolded it.

Sorry I'm not sitting beside you, didn't want to "accidentally"get killed by the sluts you call fangirls...

He almost snorted out loud. Same old, same old.

°°°

She took a seat beside Shikamaru.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?"

She offhandedly asked. He sighed. "What a drag." He muttered. "I swear Satan came up with the idea of 'Mornings'." She groaned. "True." He mused. She smirked, a thought crossing her mind.

"How are things with your mother?" She slyly asked. Shikamaru internally cringed. She had thrown a bucket of ice on him this morning to wake him up.

"Same as always."

°°°

"Akari Hatake." Iruka called. She stood up and walked into the examination room. "This is Mizuki," Iruka introduced, gesturing to him, "he's another sensei here at the academy. Now, if you could make at least 2 clones, you'll pass."

"What type of clones? Shadow clones, water clones, lightning clones, mud clones, which one?" She asked. Iruka and Muzuki almost gaped at her, although they did internally. An academy student had this much knowledge about clones?

"U-umm...any will do." Iruka stammered.

"Alright, then." She said, a shit eating grin on her face.

We all know that trolls shall forever remain trolls. That was definitely the case for her. So, she decided to be high and create 100 of each of them. 400 in total.

Needless to say, she walked out of the exam room with a black forehead protector, leaving the twitching and bewildered Iruka and Mizuki behind.

What could she say? Trolls shall forever remain trolls, especially her.

•••

Kakashi walked towards the classroom like nothing was wrong. 

He obviously wasn't around 2 hours late.

Well, lesson number one, have patience!

As he drew closer to the classroom, he could see a blackboard eraser wedged between the sliding door and the wall.

He didn't get the deal with blackboards. Why not whiteboards, or even Asian boards? This was racism at it's finest.

Discriminate assholes.

He could guess who put the eraser there. It was far too obvious. 

Sakura Haruno probably had a fiery temper, but she wouldn't want to get in trouble. He would have to work on her confidence issues. Maybe he could get Akari to train her. That would be quite benificial for anyone.

But absolute hell at the same time.

Sasuke straight out didn't care. That spoke for itself. Kakashi sighed.

Something else he would have to work on. 

Akari was out of the question as well. 

She was either taking a nap or at the nearby teahouse snacking on dango.

Which left Naruto Uzumaki, the loud, hyperactive shinobi who thought that orange was a good color to wear for a ninja who very often required camouflage.

Wonderful.

He opened the door, caught the eraser, and leveled the genin with a bored stare. 

He scanned the room for Akari. She was taking a nap.

Good, he didn't have to haul her ass out of the teahouse.

"You're all dumbasses for thinking that such a juvenile prank would work on me. Learn to set up better traps. Meet me on the roof. 

Oh, and Sasuke, try to wake up Akari, preferably without getting mauled."

"I hate you."

•••

Naruto's introduction was rather strange, jumping from an obsession over ramen to a dream of becoming Hokage.

But, Kakashi supposed, he could work with it.

However, he was a bit worried for Sakura, and his worries came true.

After her introduction, Akari proceeded to deconstruct everything Sakura believed about Sasuke.

"-omato the best. Plus, you don't have any chance of winning his affections in an intimate way. He's homosexual."

Well, that problem solved itself. It took Sasuke a bit longer for what Akari said to register in his mind.

"Wait, what? I am?"

•••

The survival exercise was supposed to take place at 6:00am. 

However, Sasuke and Akari knew better than to expect Kakashi to be on time for once.

So they both make sure to be at least 3 hours late. 

They knew the "don't eat breakfast" warning was bullshit as well, so they did what any rational person would do.

Show up to training 3 hours late with enough breakfast for the entire team, and join forces to completely undermine Kakashi's authority.

Seemed legit.

And boy, was Kakashi pissed.

It was worth it, though.

•••

After the whole breakfast fiasco was over, Kakashi held up three bells.

"I have a timer set to go off at noon. If you don't get a bell from me by that time, you'll be tied to one of those tree stumps over there, and fail the test."

As soon as Kakashi finished speaking, Naruto charged at him.

Needless to say, it didn't end very well.

When Kakashi counted down for the test to start for real, Naruto stubbornly stayed in the field.

Let us also say that fingers were shoved up his ass.

Akari watched with a teasing smirk and half-lidded eyes.

"Damn shit, someone's getting a bit kinky."

°°°

As Kakashi picked off the members of team 7, there was only Akari left. He approached her location carefully.

Her eyes drifted over to where she sensed his chakra.

Unbeknownst to him, she had an ace up her sleeve, since she knew there was no point in fighting him directly.

Her ace was...

A cat.

Unfortunately for him, Kakashi was allergic to cats.

Lucky him.