"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."

~Winnie-the-Pooh

~~~~~~~

I unzip Dusty's suitcase to stuff in another pair of jeans when I hear a rattle.

I open the suitcase all the way and pull out a handful of silverware. "Dusty, why are you trying to steal my forks?"

She looks up from her iPad game and says, "Sorry. They were the ones I used when I was brushing my hair like Ariel." She returns to her game and mumbles, "I figured you didn't want them anymore."

"Right..." I put the forks back in the suitcase and zip it up again.

Jemma wanders into Dusty's bedroom holding two black shirts. "Aunt Bev, is this mine or yours?"

I lift an eyebrow. "The one on the right is like three times bigger, Jemma. You still wear clothes from the girl's section."

She scowls. "That's hurtful."

"Well, you're delusional."

I stand up and check my watch. Panic runs through me. "Girls! She's going to be here in thirteen minutes! Hurry up and get your things; I'm not paying an ungodly amount of money just to ship your stuff back!"

As I watch the girls scramble to pack the last of their things, my stomach immediately twists when it remembers that they're leaving.

Yesterday was their last day of school at Percival. Well, our last day at Percival.

Barb, Janet, and Hayden had a going-away party for me, which basically means that they stuck a candle in the spaghetti at lunch and cried a lot when I told them I'd miss them.

They promised they'd keep in touch, but everybody knows what that means. They'll probably send a text and Barb will probably come over, at least until things get busy and the woman who once temporarily adopted her three nieces is forgotten.

That goodbye was hard enough. I couldn't do it a second time with Finn.

I had a whole speech about how our relationship was like coconut cream pie and the machete Jason used to kill people, but when I got to his classroom, I couldn't even go inside.

I couldn't look at his mural. I was too stupid and emotional and I didn't want to break down in front of anyone, least of all him, even though he's probably the only one who wouldn't judge me for being a crybaby.

But I did have to squeeze my eyes shut when he met me in the parking lot, hugged me tightly and told me everything was going to be alright.

It's funny what those words do to somebody. Six words that don't offer any advice or try to fix things. It doesn't solve all of your fears or make them go away. But when someone you trust says that everything's going to be alright, you have no choice but to believe them. And somehow it makes things better.

I even gave him a gift card to an online art store. It had a picture of a skeleton in a hula skirt painting a mural of Frasier on it. Which was honestly priceless in and of itself.

We have plans to go on our first real date tomorrow night. He was thinking of going to a fancy art museum, whereas I was thinking about eating popcorn outside the movie theater and watching all the drunk people start fights.

Maybe we can do both.

I press my lips together and refuse to think too hard about the task at hand.

"Eloise?" I yell, peeking in her room. "Don't forget the books on the coffee table!"

Five minutes later, their suitcases are stacked up by the door, ready to go.

I swallow hard.

"Um, girls? Hey, can we meet in the living room?" I call up the stairs.

After a few moments, they're all gathered on the couch.

I stand in front of them, nervously clasping and unclasping my hands behind my back.

"Do you have to go potty, Aunt Beverly?" Dusty asks. "You're doing the potty dance."

I immediately stop fidgeting. "Ugh, no." I roll my eyes and continue. "There's something I have to tell you."

Their gazes grow suspicious and a pit forms in my stomach. "When your mom called me the first time to tell me she wanted me to take care of you, I only did it because she offered me money."

They don't seem surprised. Ouch.

"But since then, I've changed, and I'm not taking the money anymore."

"Why not?" Jemma asks. "Mom says we always cost her a ton of money. Won't you be, like, broke?"

Of course I will be because I'm an idiot, I want to mutter, but instead, I say, "Nah, I'll still have some money. But anyway, I just wanted you girls to know that..." I have to swallow hard to continue, "that these past three months have been the best of my entire life. I won't bother you with a whole speech, everybody knows I could never do one as good as Meryl Streep, but seriously." I blink, but I feel the tears pool in my eyes anyway. "I love you. So much."

Just as I say the last word, the doorbell rings.

Everyone falls silent. Dread fills my entire body, but I manage a smile anyway. "It's just your mom, guys, don't look so scared!"

But I feel like running to my room and blocking out reality. In a few minutes...they'll be gone.

Just like that, my new little world will disappear in a minivan.

"Mommy!" Dusty shrieks, breaking the silence with a jolt.

The girls clamber off the couch and crowd around the door as I try to wade through them.

I unlock the door and swing it open.

On the other side is Aimee, dressed in yoga pants and a baggy T-shirt. No more business attire for her. I can't help but give a faint smile at that.

The yoga pants are a sure sign of a good mom, I've learned.

Aimee immediately bends down and collects the girls in her arms, tears trailing freely down her face.

"Oh, my girls! I'm so happy to see you!"

They all mutter something unintelligible through the smush of hugs.

After giving them each a kiss, Aimee stands up, clutching Dusty and Jemma's hands, and smiles at me.

"Come here, you," she says, crushing me in a hug.

"Alright, alright," I say, but hug her back anyway.

"I can't thank you enough," she whispers in my ear, "You did it."

I clench my jaw to keep all of the stupid emotions away. They're so annoying. Who invented emotions, anyway? They're like ants you're trying to spray with Raid all the time.

"Any time," I say, patting her back before pulling away. "Do you wanna come in for...coffee or something? I have ice cream..."

"Oh no, we have to get going," Aimee sighs. "My GPS says there's a lot of construction on the way home, so if we want to get there before midnight..."

I gulp and nod. "Yeah. Of course."

I lick my lips and steel my nerves before crouching down in front of the girls. There's Jemma, with her crazy blue hair and even crazier art ability. Dusty, with her rainbow zombies, psychotic tendencies, and a heart of gold. And Eloise--troubled, smart, amazing.

"Well, you old rugrats, I guess this is it," I say. It's like an ice cream scooper has dipped into me and left me hollow.

Suddenly, their faces fall.

"But...I don't want to leave Aunt Beverly, Mommy," Dusty murmurs, concern bending her little face.

"Oh honey, we'll come back to visit soon," Aimee says.

Dusty's lip quivers. "But..."

"When can we visit?" Jemma asks quickly.

"Um, well..." Aimee stammers, a look of confusion passing across her face. "Maybe sometime next year...I don't really know."

I force a smile. "Don't look so sad, guys. You're not telling me that all the macaroni and cheese, dolphin cannibalism documentaries, and broken bones are things you're gonna miss, are you?"

"Yes!" Eloise sniffles, and suddenly I'm buried in a three-girl pileup.

I blink harder, but the tears come anyway. I wrap my arms around them and hold them tightly, wishing they didn't have to go.

I feel hot tears on my cheeks, but I can't tell if they're from me or from the girls squishing against my face.

"We're going to miss you, Aunt Bev," Eloise whispers. The words are echoed by Dusty and Jemma.

"I'm going to miss you guys too," I say.

We all pull apart and I firm my chin. I look up to see that Aimee is the embodiment of shock.

All she can do is shake her head and smile as she picks up a suitcase and heads out the door. "Who would have ever thought?" she murmurs.

I give each of the girls one more hug before going outside with them to the car.

The November air is bordering on frigid, so I wrap my arms around myself as I watch the girls clamber into the minivan.

My heart pricks at the sight of Aimee buckling in Dusty to her car seat. I think I'll even miss doing that.

The girls are waving frantically from their seats like hyenas on crack, but I'm not much better as my arm flails in the air.

Aimee slides the door closed and it's like the wind is knocked out of me.

She comes over to me, still staring in wonder. "I am just speechless."

I lift an eyebrow. "What? Did you think they'd come back to you in a coffin or something?"

She keeps shaking her head. "I just...I knew you could do it. But I didn't think they'd fall so madly in love with you like this."

Through all of the aching, my heart flutters with familiar warmth.

She reaches in her purse and hands me an envelope with my name on it.

I don't have to open it to know what it is.

I shake my head and gently push her arm away. "No thanks, sis. I'm not taking the money."

If it's even possible, her eyes grow even wider. "What? No, Bev, you have to--"

I shake my head firmly. "No arguments." I nod towards the van. "Besides, it's almost noon, and I think I might've accidentally gotten Dusty addicted to McDonald's, so she's probably getting a 'lil cranky."

"I just don't know what to say," Aimee says absently.

She gets in the van and turns on the ignition.

The back windows roll down as she backs up and the girls hang their heads out, shouting, "Bye Aunt Beverlyyyy! Thank youuuuu! We love youuuuu!"

I don't trust myself to speak, so I just wave and try to smile.

I watch as the van comes to a stop at the end of the road, then turns left and out of sight.

I stand there for a while, wondering how the world seems so much quieter.