Humans have secrets, but angels are not meant to be allowed to have them. I don't know about demons, I don't think they really have many rules, how would I know? I am an angel after all. In fact, I am the Archangel fucking Gabriel.

I am the Archangel fucking Gabriel and I have a secret. I'm not meant to have secrets, but it's not like anyone knows, and even if they did, no one ranks above me so what would they do? If lower angels found out, no one important would listen, but I still don't want anyone knowing. If another Archangel found out, then I'd be in a lot of trouble. It doesn't matter though because they won't find out.

These are my thoughts, so it's not like I'm writing this down for anyone to find, but I'm so terrified someone will find out that I try not to even think about it. I can't stop thinking about it though, I just can't. I can't stop thinking about Beelzebub, and how much I love them. Fuck, why the fuck do I love them? I don't know but I do. I love the way they buzz, I love their flies, I love their voice, I love their personality, I just love them. It isn't even worth trying to describe - it would be impossible to put into words how much I love them.

I shouldn't. They are the enemy, they are the fallen. But I do. Why though? What is it about them? I should be looking forward to the war, and to killing them in the most gruesome and painful way possible, but every time I think about them being dead I shudder. I don't want Beelzebub to be gone.

Every time I see them, I am reminded of how strong these stupid feelings are. Why do feelings exist? They give people no advantage.

I should be working, getting through some of this paperwork in the lead up to Armageddon. But instead, I am simply daydreaming about the demon, someone else can do this work. There are rumours that Beelzebub is 'with' Dagon, but I don't want to believe it. It is unlikely anyway, but I am scared it is true all the same.

I jolt when Michael walks in in a hurried rush. She is probably busy, actually doing her job, imagine that, I subconsciously chuckle to myself.

"Hello." I say, hollowly, trying to hide any emotion behind my words. I ruffle around the paper on my desk and pretend I've been doing something for the last 3 hours.

"A lower angel, um, Aziraphale, was on the phone, asking to see you." She explained hastily. I raise my eyebrow, which I have practised doing for hours on end, looking at my reflection in the mirror, until I get it perfect. "He says it's urgent, and to meet him in his bookshop in London, on Earth." I noticed that she seemed pleased that she herself wasn't the one who had to go; Aziraphale is in my charge.

It is interesting how Archangels do things; certain angels are grouped together and put in separate categories which different Archangel are in charge of. I am in charge of several hundred, I think around 600? But I have less than the others - Michael has about 900 I think, so I got off lucky. It's amazing how much of a difference there is between 600 and 900; I can normally get away with not doing much work with only 600, but Michael is constantly busy checking in on her 900.

I sigh, and get up from my desk reluctantly, but I don't really mind that much since leaving gives me the perfect excuse not to work for a while.

"Ok" I say, trying to sound annoyed, and doing a good job of it, before teleporting myself to Earth.

I manage to land myself almost perfectly, just outside the shop. I let myself in, and the little bell, which I don't understand the point of, chimed happily.

"Hello Aziraphale." I say. I try to smile but it always comes across as very false, which I suppose it is.

"Hello." Aziraphale says back, as he comes out from behind a bookshelf. I will never understand why he likes books so much, they are simply material objects.

"What did you want me for?" I ask, and I realise that I sound obviously eager to leave, but I can't take it back now.

"I saw a demon in the street," I raise my eyebrow at this, demons are everywhere and it is not very rare or suspicious to see one, maybe this will be a waste of time. "I thought they looked suspicious, so I kept a look out for them, and they are still there." He explained.

"Um, where?" I ask, hoping for more details since it is a bit vague.

"Just outside some buildings on the other side of London, just sitting there, thinking about something." He explains thoughtfully,

"Go on..." I say, asking him to elaborate when he wasn't showing any more signs of giving anything more information.

"I went up to them earlier today, which I know I shouldn't have done," Aziraphale apologises to me and I wish people wouldn't be so scared around me sometimes, "and asked them what they were doing. They just said that they'd remembered something, which I assume meant something from before they fell."

"Who was this demon?" I am interested now.

"I'm no expert on demons but I do think it was Beelzebub." He says. Surely an angel should be an expert?

"Oh..." is the only word I manage to get out my mouth. Even just the thought of Beelzebub makes me quietly scream inside. I love that demon. Why? I don't know and it's really annoying me. "Where again?"

"They moved earlier today when some human police came and told them to, I think they went to St Jame's Park." He says. I nod.

"I'll see if there's anything I can do." I say, before leaving. I can't believe I have an excuse to see Beelzebub! I smile to myself once I am out of sight of the bookshop, and I suppose I am probably blushing, if that is what the burning in my cheeks means.

After 10 long minutes I finally arrive at the grassy land of the London park. I glance around, scanning the area; there is a pond, a tree, a few benches, oh, and on one of the benches is a small black figure. That could be them. I walk towards them.

As I approach, I realise that it is, indeed, the Prince of Hell - I can tell by the fly on their head and red sash hung on their shoulder.

"Beelzebub?" I ask, hoping I won't scare them. They glare at me, before looking at the floor again. "What are you doing here?"

"I remembered something." They say, and there is a slight hint of buzzing under their breath.

"What?" I ask, sitting down beside them. To my surprise, they do not push me away.

"Before I fell..." they start, but don't finish. I love Beelzebub, but that doesn't mean I know how to talk to them, so we end up sitting in an awkward silence. I glance at them, trying to wordlessly ask them to finish, the find them staring at me.

"What?" I ask, slightly alarmed. Have I got something on my face? Have I somehow already embarrassed myself? But they are looking at me in a way I have never seen before.

"Er, I knew you." They admit after some hesitation.

"Ok..." I reply vaguely.

"Do you remember me?" They ask. I shake my head slowly, and is it just my imagination or did they look disappointed? "Whatever." They say, suddenly moody. Before I know it, they simply get up and storm off, leaving me alone, although I can't help but smile to myself at the thought that I just spoke to Beelzebub.

They disappear in a ball of flames and fire, probably back down to Hell.

I decide to follow them, and teleport down to their office after a few minutes to find them curled up in a ball on the small and dirty sofa in the corner of the room. I notice a lot of paperwork piled high on their desk, more than I have ever had.

"What are you doing here?" They ask grumpily.

"I'm not the one who stormed off." I instantly regret speaking so cruelly when I see Beelzebub look even sadder than before. I am a terrible angel. They look away from me. "What did you remember?" I ask again, because I need a reason to have come down here.

I go closer to them, and eventually sit down next to them. "You." They reply, although the word is muffled.

"What about me?" I ask, confused.

"Nothing." They sigh, annoyed. "Leave."

"No." I say, and they look at me with an expression which is a cross between annoyed, and sad. I don't understand.

We sit in silence for another few minutes. I should leave, but I don't want to. Beelzebub is here, which means I want to be here.

"What was it about me?" I eventually ask, destroying the piercing silence.

"It was nothing." Beelzebub mumbles quietly, before getting up and going over to their desk. They slump down in the chair next to it, and pick up a pen. I take it as my queue to leave when they start writing something.

I appear back in Heaven, back in the much cleaner, more pleasant environment. Heaven is much nicer than Hell, but I would have rather stayed in Hell since it has Beelzebub. What is it that Beelzebub remembered? Is it something to do with me? If so, what?

I am in my office, which is as dull and quiet as ever, and I quickly check that no one is outside. What I am about to do is stupid, but what's the worst that could happen? I go over to the middle of the room and kneel down, and put my hands together. Humans pray to pay respect to God, but I normally pray if I have a question that needs an answer.

"Hello again Lord," I think, "I have a question, what was it that Beelzebub remembered?" This is stupid, and will never work, but what's the harm in trying?

Why must you know, Gabriel? God replies, the reply is in my head, to be quieter so as not to disturb the rest of Heaven, but it is still powerful.

"Just... wondering." I eventually think.

Hm. She is suspicious and I can tell. Something before they fell.

"What?" I ask. I am really pushing my luck here.

Just a time, a memory. She is being annoyingly vague here.

"What was the memory? If you don't mind my asking."

You were there, and that is all I am going to say since it is not important information to you. I huff. But, I was there? That is certainly... interesting.

"Thank you, Lord." I say, and the warm presence of love in my head that is God leaves. I am still desperately curious to know what the memory was though.

I stand up, and decide to actually get on with some paperwork for a while. Why is it so boring though? Is there even a point to this? Why can't we just do things, and take them as they come? It would be much easier. And who the Hell cares about which humans are coming up to Heaven these days? No one. Well, I don't at least.

I get up after a mere 5 minutes to go for a wander, and distract myself.

"Hello Sandalphon." I say, as I walk by his open office door. He looks up from his own impossible pile of paperwork and smiles briefly.

He looks down again, like he's about to start working again, but remembers something and looks at me again. "You have two meetings today, first one is in half an hour with Uriel and one of the other lesser angels I think, and the second is at 4 with the Lord of Flies." He says. I nod, but I'm already looking forward to 4.

I carry on wandering aimlessly around on the neat clean tiles of Heaven, and occasionally talk to one of the lesser angels. I look at my watch, and realise it has been 25 minutes since I left, so I make my way back to my office. Uriel joins me, and we go to a meeting room because it is easier than having a meeting in an office which is piled high with paper.

I am looking forward to Armageddon, partly because it is what everything has been leading up to for the last 6000 years, and partly because it will mean the paperwork will quieten down for a while whilst we are at war. Although, I don't want to have to kill or hurt Beelzebub, that is a downside.

Uriel and I sit on one side of a spotlessly clean wooden table, and wait for the other angel to arrive.

"So, happened on Earth?" She asks, making conversation. Uriel is definitely one of the better angels, she is kind and clever, but I do have suspicions that she also has a secret of some sort. I don't think it is as bad as mine though. I also think that Michael shares the same secret, because of the way they look at each other, but there is nothing I can do about it, and I don't think anything really needs doing about it.

"Nothing much." I lie. I probably shouldn't say what happened. She opens her mouth to say something else, but the door to the room opens and another angel walks in. "Hello." I say, and the angel takes a seat.

The meeting was very dull, and I let Uriel do most of the talking since she seems to be much better at doing her job. The angel said some things about the Antichrist, but I wasn't even paying attention. I probably should've done, but I was too busy thinking about what I was going to say in my next meeting. What was there to say?

It was quite a short meeting, and it was over within 3/4 of an hour, so I went back to my office to think about what I was going to say. It is 2:55 according to the large clock, meaning I only have an hour to prepare. It seems like such a short amount of time, though it also sounds like an eternity to wait. Where is this meeting going to be anyway?

I go to Sandalphon's office again, "where is the meeting with Beelzebub?" I ask. He shuffles a bit of paper around and checks something on some sort of timetable.

"Your office I think, or a meeting room if you want." He says.

"My office will be fine." I say, even though it means I'll have to tidy away some of the paperwork.

I close my office door behind me and get to work shoving the paper off my desk and into some drawers and a cupboard in the corner of my office. I put the pens in the pot, but leave one on the table on top of two pieces of paper to make it look like I'm doing something but it's still near at the same time. Then, I sit in silence waiting for the demon that I love so much to arrive.

~~

The time is now 3:57 and I am waiting desperately for Beelzebub. Each second takes so long to tick over, they all feel 10 times as long as normal. I wish I could somehow make time go faster.  Tick... tock... tick... why does the sound seem to echo through my office?

The minutes slowly tick over, and eventually it is 4, but where are they? They will probably be late - typical Beelzebub. Typical demon. Demons are always late.

At 5 past 4, a ball of Hellfire suddenly appears and Beelzebub emerges. The flames die down. They sit in the chair, and I would normally be disgusted by a demon touching things in my office, but this is Beelzebub, not just any demon.

"Why am I here?" They ask, their voice powerful and threatening. I don't actually know why, I was just told that there was a meeting.

"Er, I thought you knew." They roll their eyes when I say that.

"Whatever." They say, lolling their head back in an annoyed manner. We sit in silence for 30 seconds, until they finally speak again. "You probably want to know what I remembered." They say smugly, enjoying knowing something I don't and seeing how much I want to know.

"Yeah." I reply.

"But you don't remember me, do you?" They say solemnly. I shale my head. What on Earth are they on about? "I knew you." They say, "We were... I would say friends but..." they seem to be debating whether to tell me or not. I want desperately to know, so I smile, trying to show them that I won't mind whatever it is they want to say.

"What?" I ask, inviting the information to come forward.

"Nothing." They say, grumpily. They look down and start picking dirt out from under their nails, and I can't help but cringe. They look up at me again after a minute or so.

"Well... are you going to say or not?" I ask. They just stare at me, contemplating, deciding. I hope they will tell me, because I am completely clueless here.

"We were, er, more than ..." they say, mumble, and the last word was so quiet I couldn't even hear it. I had never seen Beelzebub so shy or nervous before.

"Hm?" I ask, also quietly.

"More than friends." They say, very slowly and still barely audible.

"Oh." Did they mean we used to be... together? Well that's progress at least.

"You don't hate it?" They ask, still nervous, but louder. Shit. I should hate it and I failed to imply it and now they might work out that I like them when they can't know.

"Oh, yeah. I hate it." I pull a fake disgusted face. "I hate you. That's disgusting." I say, forcing myself to lie. I am not a good liar or actor though, and my voice sounds false.

Beelzebub just stares at me. What is that look they're giving me? Is it disappointment? Is it boredom? Is it angry? Or sad? I can't tell.

"Do you want me to hate it?" I ask cautiously, waiting to be shouted at for my stupidity. I am stupid.

Their expression changes slightly. "Do you?" They ask. I raise my eyebrow and we sit in the most awkward silence I've ever experienced for what is a matter of minutes but feels like a short eternity.

"Er." I say uncomfortably, but they still stare at me with the stillness and coolness of a stone statue. I really can't read that expression, I should pay more attention when I have chance to practise reading expressions.

Whatever the expression is, it is on a beautiful face. It's surprising how they can look so good even with the boils spread across their face and greasy, messy hair. I like their blood-red sash, and the strange obsession with fishnets.

"No, I don't hate it." I eventually admit with a sigh, when there is nothing else to do and there are no options left to take.

"Me neither." Well that is a relief, is the first though I think when the words leave the demon's mouth. Then I fully realise what they just said; they don't hate me?

"What?" I ask. They glance at me, and I see complete fear in their eyes.

"I should hate it but I don't." They mumble quietly.

"Do you like the idea that we were... together?" I ask, and I hear my own nerves make my voice wobble a bit. I feel mean for making them admit this, because it is completely terrifying.

"Yes." They mutter, very quietly, as if they don't like the truth. Are they lying? This is too good to be true, isn't it?

"Honestly, I like it too." I say, hoping to make them feel less scared, and also because it is true. Instead, though, they glare at me as if I've said something wrong.

"But we shouldn't like it." They say, a little louder this time, returning to their normal voice. I shrug. "You're lying aren't you? You hate me but don't want me to feel bad becauze I'm a demon." They say, starting to get worked up which I can tell by the buzz in their voice.

"No, no," I say, still processing what was happening in my head. "I actually thought that you were lying." I add, hoping to gain some trust. They look at me, seemingly unimpressed, but they then smile. It is a small smile, but I think it is the first smile I have ever seen come from this demon. I smile back.

"You... do you not hate me?" They ask. Still nervous, but I really feel like we are getting somewhere. I had never expected anything to be able to happen with Beelzebub, but here we were. I couldn't wait for this awkward part to be over because once it was I hoped we might be able to be together, even if it was in secret.

"No," I say, "I don't hate you." They seem happy at this, but more still needs to happen. "I.. I do the very opposite of hate you, actually." It sounded better in my head, but it's still something. "Do you hate me?"

"No." They say. This is awkward. What should I say next? What is there to say next?

"What do you want to do? If you want to do anything, that is." I'm so scared of saying something wrong. They shrug.

There is a knock at the door. Fucking knock. How dare whoever it is interrupt a moment like this.

"What is it?" I call, annoyed. I see that Beelzebub is also annoyed.

"Michael." The voice says. I could kill Michael right now. She puts her head around the door, and talks casually, which makes me remember that although something so good is happening in my life, everything else is normal. "Just saying that your meeting time is over, and I have been contacted by Hell because apparently Beelzebub has another meeting straight after which they are late for." She says. I glance at Beelzebub, and they nod, annoyed at having to leave.

They stand up, and leave. So does Michael. I suddenly feel very alone in my silent office. I can't wait for my next meeting with Beelzebub.

A/N
It feels like there is no end to this, so I'm just saying that their next meeting went well and they eventually got together. I know this is a shitty storyline but oh well. It was long tho, so thx for reading.

Just saying, thanks so much for 1k reads (even if that was spread over like 60 chapters) it means a lot. Also........

I got these and I'm sooooooooo happy.

(Word count: 3897)

Edit: sorry the next one is taking a while, but it's just a bit of an awkward time and when I do get chance it is mostly in the evening when the pollen makes my eyes really itchy. Like, painfully itchy.