chapter title: "under the moon of love" by showaddywaddy

About half an hour after the Marauders had finished the show, the four of them made their way back to the party having quickly cooled down in the quidditch lockers, throwing some water over their faces and freshening up.

The party was still fairly full, a lot less people having left this time, as students milled around with bottles of butterbeer and firewhiskey. There was a cheer as they all came back onto the pitch, and someone started singing happy birthday, and soon everyone was joining in, Remus, Peter and Sirius included as James grinned, his face turning a bright red. Remus was pleasantly surprised to even see Lily among the crowd, singing along.

Another half an hour later, Remus was questioning all of their decisions to have James' party include both broomsticks and alcohol, because it wasn't long before James was drunk on firewhiskey, and up in the air on his broom as Remus watched anxiously from the ground as Sirius tailed him closely to make sure he was alright.

"You guys were incredible tonight!" A familiar voice came from Remus' left.

Remus turned. "Thanks," he smiled as Lily patted him on the back.

"I mean it, I've never seen you guys play so well."

Remus smiled sheepishly as he watched Sirius and James up in the air, James' laugh ringing out across the skies as he let go of the broom handle, Sirius quickly flying over to him to make sure he didn't fall off.

Lily rolled her eyes as Remus chuckled, before locking eyes with Sirius up in the air, who waved his hands about, exasperatedly.

Lily smiled. "Want me to go up there and help your stupid friend so you and Sirius can have a moment together?"

Remus opened his mouth in surprise. "No, it's okay you don't have to-" he started but Lily waved her hand dismissively as she went to select a broomstick.

"It's fine really, besides you guys deserve a break after the show and we all know Potter would only be delighted to have me come up and see him showing off on a broomstick."

Remus laughed at that. "Thanks Lils, you're the best. Maybe you can convince him to come down?"

Lily smiled as she pushed off from the ground to swap places with Sirius to making sure James didn't die by falling off a broom. A very unfortunate death for a quidditch player, really.

Sirius came flying down quickly from the sky, the wind tousling his hair as he landed down on the ground beside Remus.

Remus shoved his hands in his pockets as he watched Sirius put his broom on the stands before coming back over to Remus.

"Okay?" He asked as he sneakily gave Remus a quick kiss on the cheek when no one was watching.

Remus grinned. "Yeah, good. You?"

Sirius nodded. "Yeah. We were so good tonight!"

"Yeah, I know." Remus laughed. "I'm starting to think this whole band thing is more than just a  plot to make Lily fall in love with James."

Sirius hummed as he looked up at the sky where Lily and James were hovering on their brooms, Lily trying desperately to convince James to come down to the ground. "You think it's working though?"

"Honestly, maybe." He pondered. I don't think she would ever have offered to help him a year ago, and now look at them."

Sirius grinned. "I knew he was always gonna get her in the end."

"Don't speak too soon." Remus reminded him.

They watched Lily and James in the sky for a few more minutes together. Peter was off somewhere at the drinks table.

"Want a cig?" Remus asked suddenly as he fished out a box from the pocket of his jeans.

Sirius grinned. "Yeah, sure."

The two boys made their way up to some seats in the Gryffindor stands away from the noise of the party where they could watch it from afar as Remus handed Sirius a cigarette, lighting them both with a snap of his fingers.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, just letting the smoke waft over the pitch in front of them as they watched the party below.

"We must have looked pretty good up there." Sirius commented as Remus followed his gaze to look at the now empty stage.

Remus hummed. "Yeah, I guess we did. You certainly did anyway."

Sirius raised his eyebrows as he took a long drag from his cigarette.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Oh don't look at me like that. You look good and you know it."

Sirius grinned before nudging closer to Remus. "You looked pretty sexy too, Moony." 

"Sexy?" Remus teased as Sirius kissed him softly on the neck, humming into his skin.

Remus shuddered at the feeling as he continued to let Sirius trail his lips over his skin, sighing at the warmth of his breath before he stopped to lay his head gently on Remus' shoulder.

"James was amazing up there tonight." Remus commented  as he felt Sirius nod his head on his shoulder. "Even I feel in awe of that talent when I listen to him sometimes, and I hear it all the time when he's in the dorm or the shower."

Sirius laughed. "Yeah, he's good. I'm not sure if he knows just exactly how good he is, even."

Remus hummed. "I'm not sure... it's James, remember, he's got an ego the size of the ocean. I think maybe he plays into it a little. I think he knows how good he is and just chooses to play it cool to woo Lily."

"Trying different tactics?" Sirius grinned.

"Exactly. He's craftier than I give him credit for."

Sirius laughed, a husky sound right near Remus' ear that made him feel all bubbly inside. Not that he would dare tell Sirius this, of course.

"Not as crafty as you, Moons."

Remus rolled his eyes as he took a drag from his cigarette. "No one will match my level of mastermind."

"Too true." Sirius grinned. "Apart from me maybe."

"Oh fuck off." Remus laughed, fondly. "We both know that's a lie."

Sirius gasped in mock offence, before pushing his head in closer to Remus' shoulder as the two of them watched the scene in front of them.

"Hey look it's us." Sirius said suddenly, as Remus looked to where Sirius was pointing.

"What?" He asked, confused as Sirius gazed up at the sky.

"It's the moon." Sirius explained as the two of them stared up at the sea of stars and the moon above them. "And the dog star. It's me and you."

Remus laughed, softly as he kissed Sirius on the head. "You daft dog." He said affectionately. "You can be really cheesy sometimes."

Sirius laughed. "But you still adore me."

Remus didn't even think twice before saying back; "Of course. You know I love you."

There was a beat and then suddenly Remus felt Sirius tense up beside him, growing suddenly silent.

"What?" Sirius' voice came from beside him as he lifted his head from Remus' shoulder.

Remus didn't say anything. Panic suddenly coursing through him, his heart beating faster. He and Sirius hadn't discussed anything about what they were to each other. It hadn't occurred to Remus in that moment that Sirius might have been joking. He had deliberately been avoiding any discussion on what this was that they had, but he hadn't been thinking. He had just told him he fucking loved him.

"You...actually love me?" Sirius asked, his voice low and soft.

"I-" Remus started before realising he had nothing to say. What was he supposed to say. Yes? No? That he had loved Sirius for years? That he had been in love with Sirius for years? Was he supposed to lie to him for the sake of keeping what they had and not causing him to panic? Remus shut his mouth again quickly.

"Moony?" Sirius asked, his eyes wide as he finally met Remus' gaze.

"I-...I don't know." Remus finally said. Sirius said nothing. That was as good as saying yes and they both knew it. Remus had no idea what else to say and they sat in silence together, letting their cigarettes burn out, neither of them daring to move a muscle.

It wasn't until James finally landed on the ground, his voice cutting through the silence as he called out for Sirius that Sirius finally moved.

"I uhh... I should probably go." He said quietly as Remus nodded, wordlessly.

Remus watched Sirius turn on his heel and walk a few steps away before he looked back at Remus.

"I'm...I'm sorry, Rem. I didn't mean for things to go this far." And then he turned and left, leaving Remus to feel his heart shatter inside him.