chapter title: "five years" by david bowie

"What the fuck was that?" James wheeled on them as soon as they left the disco, standing out the front of the building in the dark, the only light coming from the bright neon signs above, casting a strange red glow over the seven of them.

"Err.." Sirius hesitated, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. "What was what?" He tried, before wincing under the intensity of James' glare.

"You now bloody well what." James retorted, putting both his hands on his hips to stare accusingly at them. "We all saw you two snogging back there. Care to explain?"

Remus shared a look with Sirius, and was surprised to see the look of defeat in the other boy's eyes.

"May as well tell them everything now." Sirius said with a shrug, before he collapsed onto a bench that was positioned against the wall of the building.

Remus ran a hand through his hair, uncomfortably, before placing a reassuring hand on Sirius' shoulder. "Basically Sirius and I are kind of dating."

There was a silence as everyone but Lily stared at them with the same shocked expression.

"I...What?" James spluttered.

Remus shrugged. "It's a long story."

James crossed his arms. "So start talking."

Remus exchanged a glance with Sirius before sitting down on the bench beside him, and started to tell James and the others what exactly had been going on the past few months.

They all listened wordlessly as he spoke, latching on to his every word as Remus recounted parts of the story from the last few months. (He made sure to miss out some certain details though).

"You two are unbelievable." James said finally once Remus had finished talking. Remus felt Sirius stiffen beside him. He hadn't said a word throughout the past few minutes.

"James." Lily said warningly as she placed her hand lightly on James' arm as if to hold him back from something.

A look of surprise crossed over James' face as his eyes flitted between Remus, Sirius and Lily. "You never call me James." He said quietly as Lily raised her eyebrows. But then he shook his head as if not even this could turn his attention away from Remus and Sirius.

"I just..." He ran a hand through his dark hair. "Why didn't you guys tell me before?"

Sirius looked up at that, fixing his eyes on James with an expression that Remus could not quite decipher.

"Tell you before?" He asked, his voice coming out as barely a whisper. Remus laid a gentle hand on Sirius' shoulder, as he stared at James. "Why do you think? I was terrified you would act like this!"

James frowned. "I'm...not upset that you guys are..well..you know.."

"Gay?" Remus supplied.

James nodded as he ran a hand through his hair again. "Yeah... I mean, I don't care about that. Well I do, but I mean, it doesn't make a difference, it doesn't change who you are...It's just that...you didn't tell me? This has been going on since Christmas and I'm only just finding out about it? And you didn't even say anything! We just happened to notice you snogging in front of everyone!"

Remus frowned. It wasn't like Sirius to be so open about kissing him, usually his displays of affection were either strictly platonic in front of their friends, or very well concealed. It was only occurring to him now that the fact that he had kissed Remus so openly like that...well...had it been on purpose? Had he meant to do it so that everyone would see? Maybe this was Sirius' way of wanting to tell everyone about them. Or maybe he had just been caught up in their own private bubble like Remus had...

Lily seemed to be having the same thought process as Remus. She knew all about their relationship of course, including Sirius' wishes to keep themselves a secret."Why did you do it in front of everyone?" She asked, cocking her head at Sirius. "I thought you wanted to keep it private?"

James gaped at her. "You knew?!" He asked, the shock evident in his face. "Evans knew and I didn't?!"

Remus winced as Sirius turned to look at him now as well, the question in his eyes.

"Oh please," Lily rolled her eyes, "I knew before even Sirius did."

Sirius' eyes flickered between Lily and Remus before he raised his eyebrows. "Rem how long have you-"

"Not now." Remus muttered quickly. Now really wasn't the time to tell Sirius he had had a crush on him for years.

Sirius frowned in confusion before looking down at his hands in his lap. "I'm sorry." He said quietly.

"What for?" Remus asked, surprised.

"All of this. I shouldn't have let it get out this way."

Remus frowned. "It wasn't your fault." He said softly, taking one of Sirius' hands in his.

"Yeah it was, I kissed you."

Remus hummed. "Why did you kiss me?"

Sirius hesitated. "I- I don't know." He looked up at Remus then, then back at his hands before saying quietly. "I guess I just kind of realised that I didn't care any more. I didn't care what people thought. I'm not embarrassed, I'm really proud to be with you, you're amazing, Moony. And I think I just suddenly realised that I wanted everyone to know."

"Sweet Merlin." James murmered. Remus and Sirius looked back up at him in front of them, still standing there with his arms crossed, but with a look of genuine surprise and perhaps a trace of sadness in his eyes. The anger was all gone and James was looking at them peculiarly. "You guys are really serious, aren't you?"

"I'm always Siri-"

"For Merlin's sake, Sirius, just shut up for once." Marlene groaned, cutting Sirius off who smiled at her unapologetically.

James sighed before squeezing onto the bench beside Sirius. "I'm sorry for getting mad. " He said quietly. "I can't imagine it's been easy. I'm just not used to there being secrets between the four of us."

Remus nodded numbly as he felt a wave of guilt swim through him then. It was true. The Marauders had grown accustomed to telling each other everything and he felt terrible that James and Peter had been kept in the dark for so long.

"It's okay." Sirius murmured back as he rested his head against James' shoulder. "I'm sorry we didn't tell you. I should have known you wouldn't have thought any different of us."

James smiled. "It's okay, I understand."

Remus watched as Sirius and James shared a look. "Brothers?" James asked tentatively.

Sirius gave him a smile. "Always." He said back as he threw an arm around James and clapped him on the back.

Remus looked away, locking eyes with Lily who gave him a small smile before rolling her eyes at James and Sirius as they pulled away from their embrace.

"Right," said Marlene, clapping her hands together. "Now that we've sorted that out, how about we all get out of here and go for a drink?"

Remus grinned. "Sounds good." He said. He didn't fail to notice that his hands were still shaking a little.

***

Remus, Sirius and Peter ended up staying over at James' that night as the girls went back to Mary's, who didn't live that far from James, taking the floo network once they had got back from the pub in the early hours of the morning.

When the four of them finally stumbled up the stairs in the Potter's house, James and Peter went off to sleep in James' room, whilst Sirius led Remus to the room he always used whilst he stayed with the Potters. The four of them were exhausted, muttering quick goodnights before going their separate ways down the corridor.

"So that went well." Sirius muttered once they had shed their clothes and settled into the large double bed in Sirius' room.

Remus laughed. "It could have been worse." He agreed as Sirius hummed before dropping his head against Remus' shoulder as they lay under the covers. The two of them lay there in silence for what couldn't have been more than a couple minutes before finally letting sleep overtake them.

***

The next morning, the Marauders were all awoken by the smell of food wafting up from the kitchen downstairs, and soon found themselves all sleepily making their way down towards the smell of bacon and eggs being freshly cooked in the kitchen.

"Alright, you four?" Euphemia asked as they all trooped into the kitchen, sniffing the air like a small pack of hungry dogs. "Anyone for breakfast?" She asked with a smile as they all eagerly seated themselves around the table in the kitchen.

"Yes please." Sirius said enthusiastically as he leaned over to give Euphemia a kiss on the cheek.

"Alright, love?" She asked. "Are you staying for the rest of summer?"

Sirius hesitated before he looked over at Remus and then at James.

Remus smiled at him, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "I won't be offended." He assured Sirius. It's okay if you want to stay here."

Sirius nodded. "You're sure?" He asked as he came to pull out a chair beside Remus who nodded at him.

"Alright. If that's okay with you, Effie?" He asked the older woman.

Euphemia smiled at him fondly as she dished out some plates between the four of them. "You know you're always welcome here, Sirius."

Sirius smiled contentedly before he quickly gave Remus a kiss and settled in to his plate of bacon and egg.

***

The rest of the day was spent by lazily sitting up in James' room, playing endless games of exploding snap on his bedroom carpet whilst Bowie spun around on the record player, the discussion mainly consisting of what they were going to play for the band when term started up again. It was a relaxed day, and Remus suddenly felt very at peace now that the rest of the Marauders knew about him and Sirius. They didn't discuss the matter of their relationship any further, but Remus noticed the way James and Peter's eyes followed them whenever their touches lingered on each other, or whenever they locked eyes with one another. But James only smiled and Remus was grateful for his support.

When evening finally rolled around, the Marauders all thought it was entirely necessary to troop back to Remus' house to pick up Sirius' stuff and say their hellos and goodbyes to Hope and Lyall. And possibly to sneak some of Hope's wonderful baking on the way out.

"Sirius your stuff is literally all over my room." Remus complained as the four of them attempted to find all of Sirius' belongings and place them back into the small bag that Sirius had brought with him from Grimmauld Place the day he had arrived at the Lupin's. "Believe it or not it was actually tidy before you got here."

Sirius grinned at him. "Oh shut up, Moons, we both know you love my mess really."

Remus raised an eyebrow at him. "I do not." He said drily.

"Of course you do, 'cause it means I come with it." Sirius threw him a wink which Remus rolled his eyes at.

When they had finally retrieved all of Sirius' belongings, the four of them made their way back downstairs, quickly saying goodbye to Lyall and Hope who were out in the Lupin's little back garden, before making their way back into the living room where the fireplace was situated.

"Thanks for having me." Sirius said as he turned to Remus. "I'll miss you."

Remus gave him a fond smile. "I'll miss you too."

Sirius reached out to Remus and pulled him into a one armed hug, one hand still holding his luggage.

"Oh my darling Peter, how I shall miss your beautiful face." Came James' voice suddenly from behind them, putting on a silly voice. Remus and Sirius turned around to glare at James who was cupping Peter's face, who was grinning stupidly at him.

"Oh Prongs I shall miss you so terribly too." Peter mocked back before the two of them burst into a split of giggles.

"Oh fuck off!" Sirius lunged at James, tackling him to the ground as Peter laughed harder at them, Remus rolling his eyes but letting the smile come easily on his face as he watched his two friends.

Sirius sat up suddenly, giving James a pointed glare before marching back over to Remus and pulling him straight down for a full kiss on the mouth as James and Peter shrieked, covering their eyes.

Remus let himself be kissed by Sirius, smiling against his mouth as he kissed him back. "Give him hell for me, Padfoot." He muttered with a smile against Sirius' mouth.

"Oh you bet." Sirius murmured back before he finally pulled away, giving Remus one last smile before he, James and Peter made their way back over to the fireplace, waving their goodbyes to Remus before disappearing though the floo network.