Cynical
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Lately, Jellal has been absent from school. No one knew where he was or what happened to him. The Student Council visited Reina once and the girl could only frown and shake her head. She looked like she hadn't slept for days. It was understandable. Who wouldn't get worried when your sibling disappears? Exactly. People have been looking for the president for days. They checked the hospital and the nurses said that the man visited Lucy every day except at different times so it was harder to visit the blonde with not knowing if he's really there.

They didn't know what to do anymore. Their vice president, president and sergeant at legs were missing. Gray, Erza and Jellal have been gone for days. Loke, Laxus, Natsu, Levy, Mira, Lisanna, Gajeel and the others searched everywhere for the three but couldn't find them. They doubted that they were together. They knew that Jellal was angry at Gray and they knew that Gray couldn't just show his face after shooting Lucy. But they couldn't understand why Erza was gone too. What did she do?

Everything was crashing down fast. They were having troubles with managing the Student Council without the two main officers and without the sergeant at legs, they couldn't stop fights properly. They couldn't even get enough sleep from the stacks of papers piling up. They needed the three most important people in the council but they couldn't just look for them when they had things to do. All was losing their spirit to continue on and they couldn't stay awake anymore.

They needed to fill up the void quickly or else they'll just continue to fall.

Jellal sat in front of a small table in a convenience store, wearing a hoodie. He kept his face hidden from people and was silent while he drank juice from a straw. He looked in front of him and saw Lucy, sitting down. He smiled back and the woman yawned, chewing on a piece of bubblegum. When he glared at her, she laughed and apologized, grinning.

He smiled wryly and finished his drink. He stood up and threw it away in a trash can, shooting it from behind. He left the store quietly, not wanting to be seen by anyone. He tucked his hands in the pocket of his pants and with Lucy's translucent hands on his shoulders; he raised his hand and waited for a cab to stop in front of him. He stepped in a cab and told the driver to take him to the train station. The man nodded and began driving.

The ride was short and plain but he didn't mind. Once he arrived in the train station, he took a bullet train to Shizuoka from Tokyo. The reason he left his city was to not be caught by his friends. He knew they were looking for him and he didn't want to go back to school. Because when he's there, he never did have time to talk to his hallucinations of Lucy. He wanted to talk to her but they would think he was going crazy.

"They just don't understand, Jellal," Lucy cooed softly, massaging his shoulders as they sat in the train. He hummed and she smiled. "They don't know that you're hurting more than they know."

Jellal's eyes veiled themselves and he stared down at his clenched hands. He knew he was insane. He knew that the Lucy beside him wasn't real. He knew that she was still in the hospital, barely alive. But he visited her every day and spoke to her during his short visits. He never really came at the same time because he knew that the Student Council would ask the nurses about him. Even though he lost his mind, he was still smart. They wouldn't even think of him heading over to Tokyo. He did the unthinkable. After saving money from what his Aunt Milly gave to him every day, he saved enough to make travels.

He knew he was being unfair but he couldn't just stay in school like nothing happened. He couldn't just smile with his friends knowing that she's in comatose. How could he even remain sane when they don't even know when she'll wake up? What if she never wakes up? What would he do then? Why would he remain the same when she wasn't there to make him annoyed by her actions?

Sighing sadly, he looked out the window and felt Lucy kiss his cheek. His eyes softened and he closed them, deciding that he would sleep for a while. She would wake him up anyway.

Gray ran a hand through his hair and stared up at the sky. School had just finished and he entered the gates of FTA, claiming that he had forgotten something though he wasn't even there in the morning. He knew that Erza followed him inside and was standing behind him, staring at the ground with an angry look in her eyes. She admitted that she was happy that he shot Lucy and he could only smile at that, claiming that she was just as bad as him.

Ever since then, the two stuck together. They didn't know what to do anymore. They couldn't show their faces to school even though no one else knew what happened. The redhead would usually wander off on her own, going to various places she's never been. One time, they went to Hiroshima to do nothing but stare at a river with distant eyes. It was a long trip but somehow, they felt a little calmer than they were before but nothing could chase out the regret in their hearts.

Gray felt cold than usual, colder than how he felt before and he didn't know how that was even possible. He was not an idiot; he knew that Jellal was running away from them and that he used his head to hide. He thought that maybe he was going to various cities and places too just like them but not for the same reason. He knew that the man was hurting and that he needed some time to be alone.

"What are we doing here?" Erza asked, folding her arms over her chest and raising a brow.

The raven haired man shrugged. "There's something I need to do first. Don't worry, it'll be quick."

He heard from Reina that Jellal had called her Lucy and didn't even know that she was there. Gray thought that maybe the bluenette was losing his mind but he didn't judge him. He himself couldn't even take it anymore. Often times, he would stare off and wouldn't even notice that a car was about to run over him and he would just apologize for not noticing that it was a green light. Why was he in a daze, he wondered. He knew it was definitely because of his mistake but he couldn't even comprehend why he was still living. He should've been dead now for what he did.

He looked over his shoulder and stared at Erza. "Hey."

"What?" The redhead barked furiously, puffy eyes attempting to glare at him.

Gray chuckled and walked up the stairs to enter the school building. He held the door open to say something to Erza and he smiled bitterly. "Hurry up and find a replacement for my place." And he went in.

The woman gawked. "Ha?" She stared at the ground and repeated his words in her head, trying hard to understand what it really meant. When she stretched her arms and stared up at the sky, she caught a glimpse of the rooftop's railing and she shrugged, staring back at the clouds. A moment later, her eyes grew huge and she stared at the railing again.

"There's something I need to do first. Don't worry, it'll be quick."

Her eyes widened further and she found herself running towards the school building, screaming Gray's name.

The bluenette leaned back on his chair and held Lucy's hand in his, staring at her unmoving body with a skeptical face. He fiddled with her fingers and he smiled slightly. "Hey Lucy, you know," He released a shaky breath and closed his eyes. "Today, I went to Tokyo. It was so awesome there, maybe, when you wake up," he opened his eyes and was disappointed to find hers still closed. "I'll take you there...

I did a lot of things today by myself," He said, not bothering to mention his delusions of her. He didn't have to tell her about his mirage. He inhaled sharply and exhaled.

"But it wasn't fun without you, Lucy. Even though Tokyo is a cool place, I didn't enjoy going there. You know why?" He smiled. "Because you weren't there. If you were there, you would've complained about how long the travel was. You would have asked me to buy you something expensive and would glare at me when I say no."

He frowned and lowered his head. "Hear that? I know you so well that I know how you would act when we go somewhere different. How long has it been since I heard your voice, Lucy?" Yesterday, he heard her voice from his fantasies the other day too-but he couldn't tell her that.

He gripped Lucy's hand. "When you finally decide to wake up, I want you to tell me in my dream so that I can be the first one to see you open your eyes. I want to be there before the nurses and doctors so that I can finally hold you in my arms again." Tears slipped from his eyes and he laughed softly. "I'm so excited, Lucy. I can't wait for you to wake up that I can even take my life. Isn't that weird? What would happen if I killed myself? Will you die too and meet me in the afterlife?"

Silence answered him and he laughed again. "I miss you, Lucy. I know you can hear me and I know that you miss me too. You told me that in my dream, didn't you? If you didn't, then who was that girl?" His smile dropped and his eyes went blank. "If that wasn't you, then who spoke to me all this time?"

He stared at her sleeping face and he wiped away his eyes. He let go of her hand and stood up to leave the room. It was time for him to leave. He couldn't stay any longer for the nurses might contact his friends and he would be found. He didn't want to go back to school. He didn't want to leave Lucy alone while he worked through his assignments and projects. He would always have time for her.

With another sob, he left the room and his delirium of Lucy appeared before him again, smiling sadly. "Did you enjoy your visit?" She asked lowly, walking with him to the elevator. He shook his head and gave her a painful smile.

Lucy closed her eyes and smiled. "I see." They entered the elevator and when the doors slid close, they didn't see the Student Council running out of the other elevator, heading towards Lucy's hospital room.

The doors opened and the bluenette stepped out, hands tucked in his jacket. He exited the building and headed towards a hotel close to the hospital. He paid for one night and took his keys, heading towards his designated room. When he entered, he flipped on the lights and threw the keys on the bed. He sat down on the edge and listened to the cars and laughs outside. He fell back and closed his eyes, trying to calm down his beating heart.

It was a miracle that he was able to act like that in front of the real Lucy. Well, he cried but he would have usually screamed at her, demanding that she wake up. It would have been unusual if he didn't tell her about what he did the whole day. He felt like crap. He was a coward. He was running away from everything and he didn't even feel bad about it.

"Jellal, what are you doing?" Imaginary Lucy asked, tilting her head to the side as she watched the man walk towards the dining table. He picked up a knife that was meant for cutting meat and allowed it to glint in the light. The knife looked pretty sharp, considering it was used to cut flesh. He held the knife close to him and turned around to stare at Lucy who was staring at him in horror. "Why are you... Are you crazy?"

"I've already lost my mind," Jellal said, laughing incredulously. He pointed a finger at Lucy. "You're not even real. You're a figment of my imagination and I'm not rejecting you. I can't imagine a world without you-no, her. You're not her."

She looked offended but sighed. "You're right. You are insane," She crossed her arms over her chest and looked away, her body slowly fading. "Fine, die for all I care."

The bluenette closed his eyes and raised the knife, preparing to stab himself. It was now or never.

Erza breathed heavily, her feet thumping against the floor as she tried to turn around a corridor and run up the stairs without tripping or sliding. She had to reach him before he did the unthinkable. She never thought that he thought of doing that. But then again, he was always silent, thinking on his own and trapping himself inside his taunting nightmares with constant regret chipping away at him.

"Gray!" She barked, her yell resounding in the quiet building. She was tired from running but she wouldn't stop. Not yet.

She didn't feel as bad as him but she was definitely guilty. Who would be happy that someone you knew was shot and in coma? No, she wasn't supposed to feel relieved but it happened and she couldn't stop herself. So, to repay for what she thought, she was going to stop whatever Gray was thinking of doing.

No, for the sake of her friend, she wouldn't allow him to die because of regret, because there's always a way to redeem yourself.

"I love you."

Jellal sucked in a deep breath and allowed the knife to clatter to the floor. He fell back on the floor with his legs propped up, his elbows on top of his knees. He clasped his hands together and lowered his head, closing his eyes as he felt tears slide down his cheeks. He couldn't contain it anymore and sobs escaped his mouth along with the whispers of Lucy's name. He said her name over and over; thankful for everything she did for him.

She was barely breathing but she could live. There was a fifty-fifty chance that she would wake up someday and cry in his arms - or maybe not - hugging him tightly, telling him she loved him. He couldn't do it because of her. He couldn't kill himself because what would happen if she woke up? Who would comfort her when she's sad?

He had to wait for her to wake up. He wouldn't commit suicide just because he's insane.

Gray stood in front of the railing, distant, hooded eyes staring down at the ground beneath him. He could hear Erza's footsteps running up the long stairs, her pants and heavy breathing growing loud and haggard. He made sure that she wouldn't be able to get out of the door. He locked it from the outside and you need the key to unlock it.

He held his collar and fanned himself with it, sweat dripping down his chin despite of the cold breeze pushing his hair back. He frowned when Erza began banging on the door, the metal creating a loud, echoing sound that even he couldn't handle.

"Gray! I don't why you even thought of this but... this isn't the solution!" The redhead hollered, slamming her fists on the metal door, the sides of her palms aching. She didn't stop and began pushing the door with her body, her face flushed from running too much. She couldn't fathom how he even thought of doing whatever he thought of doing. Jumping down from a six storey building was not something you could just think of and do it. But then again, other people jumped from higher buildings-that wasn't the point.

The raven-haired teen slowly climbed to stand on top of the metal railing, balancing himself a little before calming down his pounding heart. The banging on the door was now a little low now, signifying that Erza was losing her energy. But that didn't stop her from slamming her body against the metal, turning certain parts of her skin purplish-blue. She couldn't give up now after running up six flights of stairs for him. She would save him.

"Go home, Erza," Gray said, his voice soft but firm. He inhaled. "You don't have to involve yourself with the likes of me anymore. Just go."

"I can't just leave you here, idiot!" The redhead shouted, her eyes now droopy from exhaustion but she didn't stop.

Gray chuckled. "That's a futile attempt."

"Says the man who plans to jump off a school building!" Erza bellowed, her body trembling for the fear of losing her friend. He was the only person who she could relate to. And together, they would compensate for themselves. But how would they do that if he died?

"It's my choice," The brunette growled, glaring at the green grass on the ground far from him. "Butt out."

Erza cried out an ear-piercing scream, pushing the door with all of her might. "I can't! I feel blameworthy and I don't want to be the reason of your death!" She sobbed. "What would they think if they knew that I was with you? What if they asked why I didn't stop you, what would I say then, dimwit?"

"Tell them it was my choice," Gray said, sighing groggily. He was tired of this. He wanted to end it all.

The vice president of the Student Council could only shout a booming yell in anger. "I can't just say that!"

"Of course, you can," Gray said, smiling half-heartedly. After sucking in a long, deep, shuddering breath, he lifted his foot to step of the ledge. "Goodbye, Erza." He closed his eyes and prepared to plummet down.

Erza just managed to open the door with a pin she moved around in the keyhole and her eyes widened, seeing his body falling off the edge.

"GRAY!"