•

"The First Secret"

OCTOBER 28, 2008
THREE DAYS TILL HALLOWEEN

A lot of changes were being made in Halle Brewster's life. The biggest was the hand-selected group of friends that Halle's own best friend had suddenly thrust on her at the start of freshman year. Halle had even dyed a couple strands of her hair pink in aid of welcoming one of the more cautious girls. It was Alison's suggestion since Halle could be less than welcoming and it would make her approachable, especially for the more emotionally-inclined ones. Alison had insisted Halle did it along with Aria Montgomery, sacrificing over Halle to ensure the others felt settled.

It had almost been two months since the new four were implemented into Halle's world — the one Alison built for her — and the biggest holiday yet was approaching. Alison had planned her outfit ahead of time, convinced she would have to look the best. Halle was more laid-back and went with the flow; her own mother once said that Halle could be given ten years to do something, and Halle would still do it on the last day.

The newly-formed group of six were walking home after school. Alison led the pack, with the rest always at least one step behind her. Emily Fields, a swimmer on the school team, was closest to her. Halle was after, walking beside Aria Montgomery, the girl Halle had recently dyed her hair pink with, and Hanna Marin, the most admiring of Alison's group, who hadn't got much of a social life before Alison. Halle didn't even know who she was before Alison introduced them. Then, Spencer Hastings, a neighbour of both Alison and Halle, trailed at the back; her eyes were locked to her phone screen.

"So, what do you think, Em?" Alison asked. She always led the conversation, too. "Should Hanna be Cute Britney..." She glanced back at the other, more ashy blonde with a sly smile, "Or Bald Britney?"

Emily was sweet in nature, and she was still finding her footing when she voiced her own opinion within the group. Not that she had much of one; it seemed to either match Alison's or be the right, tamed one. She gave the latter just. "If she wants to be Cute Britney..."

Alison looked back, asking again. "Aria?"

Aria, amused, chuckled and said, "She's not gonna shave her head."

Halle saw the smile of approval come across Alison's face. It was the answer Alison liked, and Aria gave it perfectly. Halle stayed quiet. She hadn't got an opinion on the matter; it didn't bother her what any of them wore. Halle didn't really care.

Spotting Spencer on her phone still, Alison groaned and said, "Spencer, you're worse than my father."

"Sorry." Spencer instantly apologised, a smile on her face. She was previously smiling down at her screen, a happy sigh escaping her. Spencer explained, "But I did just procure nine votes from the debate team." She then removed her glasses, tucking them on the collar of her shirt.

Fighting the urge to roll her eyes, Halle wondered why on earth Alison picked someone who would run for student president to be in her clique. Actually, as Halle further examined the group, she had so many questions to why Alison picked any of them. It wasn't like they all had much in common — except how much they wanted to be Alison's friend.

"Wait, that's a good thing, right?" Hanna asked.

"Yeah," answered Spencer. She got excited when she talked about grammar and diction, beaming as she spoke. "And, uh, procured means to obtain with special effort. And obtain means to gather—"

"Are you gonna recite the entire dictionary?" fired out Alison, humoring herself mostly.

After the shot-down, Spencer decided it was best to join in the conversation the others were having. She said, "I think Hanna should be who she wants to be."

Halle tried to be nice, offering to Hanna, "I can plait your hair, I do my nana's all the time."

"Because she's lazy, Hal," Alison laughed. "God, she's, like, ancient and moving in with your family. Kill me if I get to seventy and can't live by myself."

"She's old, Ali, she needs help," Halle replied. Sometimes, Halle was left in complete disbelief at how insensitive her best friend could be.

"You can say that again," Alison remarked, in dry amusement.

Hanna's reached out, her hand touched Halle's arm. "You can do my hair, Halle," said Hanna kindly, getting a smile back from Halle in return.

"Fine," Alison groaned. "But you," she looked directly at Hanna and warned, "better wear the tightest skinny pants you can fit your big butt into."

A phone dinged, and Emily stopped. She smiled as she reached into her bag to get her cellphone. From the smile, Aria questioned expectantly, "Ben?"

Still smiling, Emily checked the message. She told the group as she typed, "He's all about me going as sexy cop for Halloween. But I'm thinking Indian girl."

Halle felt her inside turn over, cringing. "Native American," she corrected. "They were only called Indians because Columbus got lost on the way to India, he's an idiot."

"He discovered America," Spencer replied.

"How can you discover something that was already there?" Halle retorted back. She had patience for Alison's ignorance, not much for others.

"Who cares?" Alison said, laughing. The other four joined her in laughter, too.

"They do," muttered Halle under her breath. Halle didn't laugh. She was too off-put by the nonchalantly of making a spectacle out of another culture and how they were all complicit in it. That kind of stuff made Halle feel dirty and more Black than ever. Halle was well aware that she was too white for the black kids and too black for the white kids. She never had a place other than at Alison's side, but Alison was white and never got it. Neither did the new girls, not even Emily.

The sound of a car approaching caught their attention, especially when it slowed down next to them. Noel Kahn, with a few other jocks, pulled up by the sidewalk where the girls stood currently.

"What a shame," Alison said to him, coyly teasing. "All that testosterone and not a sheep in sight."

With a broad grin on his face, Noel jested back, "Careful, Alison. I get your jokes, but someday you might meet a guy who doesn't." Alison chuckled at that comment, her new friends nervously following suit. Having noticed the pink hair Halle was recently rocking, Noel spied the petite girl he assumed was responsible. His eyes went to Aria, and he asked, "So, am I gonna see you at my party on Friday?"

Aria blushed. She looked between her friends, not sure if it was a dream or not. Noel Kahn was talking to her — to her! — and Aria didn't quite believe it. She was never the sort to be invited to parties. Aria was never popular enough. "Uh, I didn't know we were invited," she said.

"You're Ali's friends, right?" Noel chuckled at the innocence, them not realising that itself meant they automatically had an invite. He joked, "Halle's been riding on her coattails for years."

"Oh, bite me, Noel," Halle threw out, smiling as she did so.

He raised an eyebrow at her, smirking. "Is that a dare?"

A car behind honked at them, and Halle remarked back, "Looks like we're not the only ones you're holding up."

Noel rolled her eyes, and Halle mirrored him mockingly. He then shook his head, chuckling lightly, and told the group, "Come prepared to be scared."

Not even the moment he drove away, but the second he did, the four newbies turned into each other. They shrieked with excitement, giggling and smiling widely. They clutched at each other, Aria gasping because Noel Kahn spoke directly to her.

In pure bewilderment, Hanna asked, "Wait, did we just get invited to Noel Kahn's Halloween bash?"

"I'm a little embarrassed at how excited you girls are, it's just a party," Alison told them, chastising their glee.

"Ali, it's not just a party," said Spencer.

"It's the party," Aria emphasized.

Sighing, Halle offered, "Ali, it's their first time going, ease up a little."

Alison agreed. She smiled, giving the girls something back after acting almost humiliated by them previously. "You're right," she said. "And I'm happy we'll be there together." Her smile grew, hearing the giggles of her new friends. It was easy to please or excite them. She had every one of them wrapped around her finger, and Alison knew it well.

•

Halle entered her family home and was welcomed instantly by the dog. Pacha was waggling his tail excitedly the moment he saw her, almost tackling Halle to the floor. She threw her head back in laughter, giggling as he lapped at her chin. Her happiness was cut short when she heard her mother's voice call out her name from the kitchen.

Inhaling deeply through her nose, Halle braced herself for whatever she had done. Her mother had really been on her case lately and was more irritable and snappy than usual. Halle's thoughts buzzed around her head, wondering what she could have done wrong this time. She even considered coming up with a lie as she made her way to the back of the house, but when she entered the kitchen and saw her brother sat at the island with their parents both facing him, Halle knew something was deeply wrong.

"Is it too late to walk back out and pretend I didn't come home?" Halle asked, her bag slumping down from off her shoulder. She put it down on the island, slotting herself in on the end with her hands pressed against the edge.

"Nice try," Nick Brewster commented. There was only a faint glint of amusement in his eyes; his face held a frown. "We need to talk to you."

Myles instantly looked to his sister and asked, "What did you do now?"

"Me? Why'd you assumed I did something?" Halle asked, offended.

"Because it normally is you, you and Alison are always planning something," Myles shot back at her.

"Oh, and it couldn't have been you?" Halle countered.

"All I do is go to mathletes, I don't know what you do," said Myles.

"And you—"

"That's enough." Nick cut his bickering children off before it could get nasty. His arm came around his wife, supporting her. Only then did the two teens notice their mother's teary eyes.

"It's Nana," said Luisa meekly, eyes focused on something outside.

Halle and Myles looked back over their shoulders and out of the window. Out on the porch, their grandmother sat just staring out. She wasn't watching Riley play on the swing tied to the tree in the garden. Her eyes were blankly staring ahead at nothing in particular. The two shared a look between them afterward and knew automatically what this was about.

"Nana's not well," Luisa Brewster spoke. She was calm and well-measured, but her husband held her close to help steady her shaking hands. This was hard for her; the permanent frown and sad, brown eyes gave it away. Luisa managed to shield her family from a lot, but this wasn't one of them.

"Is her Bipolar?" asked Myles, a mix of concern and curiosity laced his voice.

"Actually, no," said Luisa. "She's not so great." She looked to her husband, her mouth clamped shut as she turned away; her eyes were glassy again.

Nick, while rubbing his wife's back, informed them, "The doctors have diagnosed her with Alzheimer's, which can be pretty common with Bipolar patients when they reach a certain age."

"But it's not necessarily hand-in-hand," Luisa put in even when she was distressed. She hadn't wanted her children to have a backwards way of thinking a diagnosis was a doomed sentence.

Halle asked cautiously, "But it is the Bipolar that caused it?"

"We don't know," said Nick. He kept his tone gentle, breaking the news to them as softly as he could. "So, um, your nana's going to come live with us. I'm going to give up my home-office and we're going to put in a bed for her, make it into her own room here."

Luisa's hand came to rest on Nick's chest, sending him an appreciative smile. They were a unit — worked together and never against another. "It's going to be difficult and we're going to have figure out what's best for the family," she said. "You guys are going to have to really step up, but we don't ever want to pressure you into something you're not comfortable with."

"Mom, we'll do it," Myles said instantly, jumping in and speaking for both himself and Halle. "We're gonna do anything to make sure Nana gets what she needs. I already know first-aid, Halle'll take a course over fall break and we'll be good."

Nick glanced to his daughter, her being awfully quiet. "Halle... Is that okay with you?" he asked.

Without a word, Halle nodded. She kept her lips pressed together and her head hung lower than usual. She nodded again, hoping to convince her parents. She didn't want to disappoint or let them down, so Halle was going to take on whatever they wanted her to if it meant keeping the family together.

"We're going to tell Riley later," said Nick.

"Obviously, she's not going to be handling pills or helping out like you two would have to," Luisa explained, "but we're going to tell her."

"This is only going to be temporary," Nick told them regretfully. He glanced to his wife, holding her just a tiny bit tighter. "We know this won't last forever, your nana's going to get worse and at some point, she's going to need care we can't give her, but she's here for now."

"Jessica DiLaurentis very kindly has offered to sell the apartment," Luisa mentioned. "So, she'll be moving in just before Christmas, which gives us some time to prepare." Finally, she took a deep breath and asked, "How you do you guys feel? I know it's a lot to unload, but we wanted to tell you the moment we knew for sure what was happening."

"There's no secrets here," Nick said. "This is a safe place, you can tell us how you feel."

"I mean, it's a lot," Myles replied honestly. He was taken aback but managed to handle it well. "I'm ready to take on whatever to help out. I'll cut down on clubs if I have to."

"No — no," said Luisa strongly. Her hand fell over her chest as she spoke confidently. "Your dad and I both said we don't want either of you giving up the things that make you happy to make this work. We want you to continue with Mathletes and Debate, and Halle has her cheerleading try-outs next month — we want you both to continue with that." Luisa looked to her daughter and then to her son, glancing between with with an encouraging smile. "We want you both doing the things you love and are good at, nothing has changed there."

Nick picked up on Halle's silence again — how her eyes kept drifting to her grandmother on the back-porch. "Hal," he said softly, and she looked back at him. Their eyes mirrored each other, the same deep shade of brown. He knew exactly how to read her, and Nick knew she was quiet for a reason. "Are you okay with this? Are you okay?"

There were two questions. Halle had different answers for each. She hadn't wanted to give the pair the one that would hurt them — the answer to the second one. She didn't want them to worry or think they couldn't depend on her, so Halle mustered up a small smile and said, "Yeah, I'm good."

•

When Halle voiced her regurgitating concerns to Alison the next day, she got a nonchalant attitude to the whole thing. Halle had skipped out a lot; she hadn't mentioned her grandmother's illness and kept to the story of anxiousness Halle had over cheer try-outs. The two best friends were heading to the cafeteria, and Alison said simply, "So, you'll get on the team..." She smirked over to Halle and added, "One way or another."

"I don't need yo to meddle, Ali," Halle returned, giving her friend a serious look. "I can get in with talent, I know I'm good."

"I wish I could say the same about Spencer and this election," Alison fired out. She spared a glance at the Hastings girl, at her campaign booth handing out badges to encourage voting. Halle had one pinned to her top.

"You know, they're supposed to be your friends, you can't just use them or pick on them," Halle reminded. She felt confident in her friendship enough to call Alison out. Halle wasn't like the others. Alison respected her; they were best friends and had been since they were kids.

"I do what I like," Alison replied snidely. "Besides, I make them feel special. I'm even taking Aria out for fro-yo after school."

Halle had started to notice how Alison spent more time with Aria than the others. Aria was the one who seemed to please Alison the most. It was Aria who Alison wanted to feel welcome and had forced Halle to dye her hair pink for to do that. The thought of being another puppet made Halle stir-crazy. Her thoughts were racing and she bit so hard on the inside of her cheek, she tasted blood.

"Are you even listening to me? God, Halle, open your ears," said Alison, irritated she had to repeat herself because her friend zoned out. "I said, this is what this party is for. You need to let loose, you've been so uptight and tense lately. You haven't even told me why."

"I'm not uptight or tense," Halle argued.

"Prime example," Alison pointed out. "Ease the hell up. You'll be no fun at this party, and they'll have to be my entertainment," she mentioned, giggling as she looked over to their designated table, referring to the group of girls there.

"Why pick them if you're just gonna be a bitch to them?" Halle quipped back.

"I'm making them better, being cruel to be kind," Alison boasted.

"Why didn't you tell us?" came an excited, almost shocked Hanna Marin. She was sat at the lunch-table, opposite both Aria Montgomery and Emily Fields.

Having caught the end of the conversation was going on, Alison was immediately intrigued. She inserted herself into it, becoming the main character in all her friends' moments. As she took to the empty seat beside Hanna, Halle took her place next to Emily on the other side. Alison asked them, smiling, "Tell us what?"

Halle noted that Emily looked a little startled by their intrusion. Yet, before Halle could comment, Mona Vanderwaal appeared. Mona was beaming and far too eager to make friends with Alison more than anyone. Rat-brown hair tied in two uneven pigtails; eyes framed by square spectacles; a striped knit-sweater — some of the many reasons why Alison taunted and bullied the girl, nastily referring to the girl as Loser Mona.

"Hi, you guys!" said Mona brightly. She was holding her lunch-tray in her hands and grinning broadly at the group. Halle was never one to bully another student, but the second-hand embarrassment she got was enough to make her avoid Mona Vanderwaal like the plague.

Alison's piercing blue eye locked with Halle, a sly smirk gracing her perfect lips. "If you ignore it, it will go away."

With a brief eye-roll and a knowing smile, Halle replied to her best friend, "You're so bad."

Yet, that was what the five of them did. They all just sat there in silence, not looking at Mona. None of them acknowledged her, and then the girl in the ugly sweater went away. Alison was right.

Only when Mona was gone, did Emily speak up. Nervously, she told Alison and Halle what they were talking about prior to their arrival. "Ben's telling people we had sex." She looked up through her lashes as she talked, her hands in her lap.

"What?" Spencer Hastings had overheard when she was joining them. Her abrupt movements slowed as she sat herself down beside Alison, watching Emily for a reaction.

An annoyed glare came over Alison's hard eyes. "And he's still breathing because?" she asked, waiting for an answer.

"It's true," Aria offered them with a small voice.

Halle looked confused. She turned to her side, staring directly at Emily's face. "Uh, since when?" she asked.

"Last weekend," Emily answered her.

"And you're good?" Halle asked, concerned.

Emily nodded but didn't say anything else.

Hanna, on the other hand, did have something to say. She leaned into Alison and commented, "I can't believe Emily lost her V before any one of us did."

"Why is that so hard to believe?" questioned an offended Emily.

Deep down, Hanna knew it was a seemingly bitchy comment meant to impress Alison. It was a snide comment against her friend like the one Alison frequently made, but it landed flat with other for one reason. Hanna wasn't Alison. "I didn't mean anything by it," said Hanna, "I just thought you were a prude."

Sensing an in, Alison made to bring Emily closer into her fold. "Shy on the streets... sexy in the sheets," she teased flirtatiously. As she smiled, Emily's own grew knowing Alison was proud of her. It made Emily want to shrive to make Alison proud if she got this attention every time. "I knew there was something different about you."

•

This time when Halle came home, she wasn't greeted by the usual ball of fluff colliding with her legs. The house was quiet. Far too quiet for Halle's liking. She dropped her keys into the bowl by the door and ventured inside. She found her mother in the living room, scribbling into a notepad.

On Halle's entrance, Luisa looked up and smiled. "Hey, honey."

"Hey. Where's Pacha?" Halle asked.

"Your dad and Riley took him for a walk around the block," Luisa revealed. "Should be back soon."

"Oh, okay," said Halle. She went to go towards the stairs, but was stopped when her mother called out her name.

"Halle," Luisa began, calling her back. "I actually wanted to talk with you, alone," she added. Luisa sat forward and put down her pad and charcoal; a smoky drawing of a pair of hands made Halle feel uneasy before she sat. "I wanted to talk with you yesterday, but your dad didn't want to tell because he thought it would be too much all at once. And you know how much your dad likes to be the good guy with you lot," she offered with a reassuring smile. "I'm always the bearer of bad news."

"Bad news?" questioned Halle cautiously. "Is Nana okay?"

"Yes, honey, Nana's okay." Luisa reached for Halle's hands, clasping her ones around them. "It's you we need to talk about. There's a slight snag in our plans when it comes your nana's care. When she finally goes to into a treatment centre, we — me and your dad — we'll be paying for most of it. That means we might not have enough money to send all of you to college without help. Three kids is a lot and it's so much money nowadays," she said, eyes watching her daughter the entire time.

"I'll get a job," Halle instantly said. "The Grille hires every summer, I'll get a job there and save myself—"

"I know, honey, but that's not it." Luisa's hold tighten, squeezing lovingly. "With our situation, colleges will take it into consideration. At least the colleges you'll be looking into do. Your brother had his heart set on Stanford, which is also a lot of money."

The moment the last part was said, Halle knew where it was going. "Mom, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that you need to land yourself on the cheer-team, Halle," said Luisa, stressing the urgency. This was a harsh truth — a thick slice of reality served up. One Halle was never ready to hear and tasted bitter. "It's what you're best at, and because you're an average student, cheer is the only scholarship you could get." Luisa gave Halle's hands another tight squeeze and kept smiling encouragingly. "You're the only one who could get a scholarship, our only hope at cutting down some of the cost of college for all of you."

Halle realised quickly enough and voiced it aloud. Her insecurities about her intelligence sprouted from moments like these. "Because it's what I'm good at."

"You've always been the best at it, and you have a real shot at getting a scholarship with it," Luisa insisted. "Your brother has math and science and debate, even, but there'll be so many routing for those. Cheer scholarships are rare."

"I have to best at it?" Halle asked, making sure.

"Look," Luisa started seriously, "if it's too much, you and your dad will find another way. We'll take out a loan if we need to, when the time comes, if you don't want to do it."

Shaking her head softly, Halle put on a tight smile. She masked her upset, the brewing insecurity she had about her lack of smarts. "Hey, it's a good job I love cheerleading, right? This is what I've wanted since I was kid, remember?" She ignored the dizzy feeling in her chest, the light fuzzing in her nose and the centre of her head, and smiled almost confidently. "I got this, trust me. I won't let you or dad down."

"I know you won't, you're such a good kid." One of Luisa's hands came up and cupped her daughter's cheek, her thumbing stroking the skin softly. Truthfully, she commented, "I don't know how we ended up with three amazing kids. Myles with his mathematics, you with cheerleading, and Riley's looking to be very promising at ballet."

Not wanting to continue the conversation, Halle spoke up. "Can I go to Ali's? We're partners in English and we have an assignment."

Luisa smiled sweetly. "Sure, go ahead." She said, as she raised their hands and kissed the back of Halle's, "I love you."

"Love you, too."

The second Halle had taken herself out of her house, she fought the need to scream. Instead, she took herself down the porch and across the street. She was riled-up and needed to implode. So, like always she went to Alison's, ready to track lines in her best friend's pink carpet from her pacing. She raised her fist to the door and knocked hard. When nobody answered, Halle tried again. She banged the side of her fist against the wooden door, calling out for Alison as she did so.

Hearing the lock on the other side, Halle took a step back and braced herself to immediately rant to the blonde. She opened her mouth, prepared, but it shut almost instantly when the door opened. Jason stood there, blinking slowly as if she had just woken him off from a late nap. There was a hazed look over his eyes like fogged glass. It reminded Halle of when she breathed warm air over a cold car window. Jason was high, and Halle knew it.

"Oh." Dismay flooded over her face as Jason expectantly answered the door. Halle said, "I didn't know you were back."

"Nice to see you, too, Brewster," Jason remarked, amused. "You should really learn to hide your disappointment."

Halle ignored his comment. "I came over for Ali, is she here?"

"She's out," Jason shortly said.

"Where?" she asked.

"How am I supposed to know?" Jason shot it at her knowing Halle could handle herself, but it only caused the girl's frown to deepen. Jason sighed and gave her what little he could, "She said something about getting frozen-yogurt."

"Oh, yeah, I forgot," Halle said.

"You can come in if you want, she should be back soon," Jason offered. He felt bad about leaving her outside to wait. She took him up on her offer and followed him inside. "I'm gonna make something to eat, you want anything?"

She shook her head, no, but still Halle went into the kitchen behind him. She went with him into the kitchen. She perched herself at the end of the island and watched him move around the kitchen. Her nose turned up when the funky smell of weed hit hit, it lingering on the fabric of his shirt. Somehow, Halle found herself smirking knowingly. "You're high right now, ain't you?"

Jason smiled at that, chuckling as he got what he wanted to make a sandwich for himself. "I don't understand why you're not high right now," he replied.

"I don't do drugs," Halle responded easily, and it made Jason scoffed.

"I forgot you were such a good girl," Jason shot back. He glanced over at her and saw the thoughtful grimace ruining her face. Jason rolled his eyes, hating how he was being sucked into asking personal questions about his sister's best friend. "What's up, Brewster? Your face is all tight and stuff," he mentioned, pointing towards her. His finger got a little too close for her liking.

Halle smacked his hand away; her face screwed up in annoyance. "What's it to you?"

"It's not, but I'm the only one here," Jason countered. "And by the way you were banging on the door before, I'm guessing you need to talk to somebody."

"You couldn't even begin to understand," said Halle.

"Try me." Jason met her dubious look, her questioning eyes and arched right brow. He rolled his eyes again at her. "Look, who am I gonna tell? You're not exactly a subject of interest, Brewster. I got better things to be talking about," Jason remarked, and Halle agreed in his point.

Halle inhaled deeply before she began. "So, something is the reason for something else, and it means that I have to get a scholarship and— Are you following?" Halle asked suddenly, eyes on Jason.

"Is anybody?" retorted Jason, done with the conversation already. He met her dead-pan look and sighed. "Okay, you said scholarship — for what?" he asked, quirking up a brow at her. He was staring directly at her, searching for an answer, which her got.

"Cheerleading," Halle said.

Jason scoffed, chuckling afterwards. "'Course, makes sense." He saw the hard glare she shot him afterwards and stopped, biting his lips to halt his laughter. "No — go ahead, continue."

As much as she didn't want to, Halle knew she needed to get it off her chest now or it would chew her up inside. Halle said, "It means I have to put everything into cheerleading and I can't afford to mess it up. Because it's been made very clear to me that it's the only way I'm gonna get to college." Her brows creased as she realised aloud sadly, "I guess I didn't realise how average I was without it."

He couldn't help it; he laughed again. This time, Jason laughed at her. "I don't wanna offend you, but you are average, Brewster. You're ordinary. There's nothing special about you, you're just like everyone else in this town."

Blinking several times, Halle tried to take in the bluntness. She stood up straight. Her bitter, sarcastic nature came out snapping. "Oh, well, thank you very much. Thanks for telling me I'll basically accomplish nothing and I'm boring."

"Look, don't get offended—"

"He says before he offends me," Halle shot dryly.

"Look," Jason began again firmly. He sounded so patronizing, and Halle wanted to ring his neck with a tight fist. "Nobody in Rosewood accomplishes anything bigger than Rosewood. This is as big as it gets," Jason told her straightly. He gestured to his house and hers across the road. "This is Rosewood and this is all you'll ever have, no matter what scholarship you had."

"I can get out of here, I'm gonna get out of here," Halle said strongly.

He chuckled lowly at her again. "No, let me tell you how it's gonna go for you, Brewster." Brutally honest, Jason tore into her. He said plainly, "You're gonna leave for college, be gone for what — three years? Then you'll be right back here. You'll meet a boy, who's sensible and well-off," he dryly mocked her, "Somebody your parents like, and you'll settle down here in Rosewood, have a family and become a pillar of the community. Your future will be full of shallow people from the country club and you'll be miserable because you would've died in the same corner of the world you were born without ever actually living."

Halle swallowed harshly, folding her arms over one another to provide herself with some comfort.

But Jason continued, "There is nothing more to you than just another girl that follows Ali around. You think you're better than the others — the new lot she's brought around you, but you're not." He gestured to her, "Look at your hair, you dyed it pink because one of Ali's minions wanted to dye her hair pink and Ali made you do it, too — Yeah, I know that," he said, seeing her subconsciously reach for her pink strands. "You're only special because Ali decided you were."

"Yeah, well, at least people notice me," said Halle sharply. "You're just Ali's loser brother, who smokes too much and has a sour attitude because his parents don't love him the same."

That seemed to hit him hard. The wind was knocked out of him, and Jason scoffed. Admittedly, he was impressed she held her own, but it didn't make it easier to hear. She caught him off-guard, and Jason kind of wished he was sober so he could take in the full measure of his agony at her hard words.

Halle threw her hands up in frustration. She claimed boldly, "This was a complete waste of my time."

Jason mirrored her movement. He stood up straight and shot at her, "Glad we both agree on that, Brewster." His eyes were intense, hardened, and he said, "Let's never do it again."

"Yeah, let's not," Halle threw back bitterly.

[Jason was hot-tempered and blew up at her. Eyes dark and brooding, intense and brutal. He stalked out of the room and knocked something off purposefully on his way out. Halle sighed and cast her eyes down. Her eyes connected with the half a sandwich Jason left there for her]

•

Busy chatter filled Spencer's bedroom. Five out of the six teenage girls were getting ready — Aria had yet to arrive. Alison was at the desk, her face fully seen in the mirror as she fixed her makeup; Spencer was focusing on sorting out the layers of her costume's undergarments; Emily was getting her fringed dress from off its hanger; and Hanna stood twirling in front of the full-length mirror while Halle tried to pin up the hem of her skirt.

"Would you stop spinning? I'm gonna stab your leg," Halle said. She was already in her simple, white dress and angel-wings. She had borrowed the feathered wings from her little sister's dress-up box along with the flurry halo-headband that matched, pairing it with a short dress of her own.

"How did you get so good at this?" Hanna asked curiously. Before getting to know Halle, the ashy blonde didn't think there was much to her personality other than Alison's best friend that fought a lot.

"My Nana was a seamstress, she taught me everything I know," said Halle fondly. She caught sight of her own sad eyes in the mirror and took a moment to centre herself before continuing.

Just then, Aria appeared in the doorway in the same outfit she wore at school. "Hey," she greeted the room softly.

"Hey," Hanna said with a smile. "Where's your costume?"

"Oh, I'm just— I'm not really feeling like going to a party," Aria mentioned to the group. She rocked back and forth on her heels nervously. "But I wanted to see you guys all dressed up."

Turning her head away from her own reflection, Alison zeroed in on the petite girl in the doorway. "What's this about, Aria?" she asked. Something within her voice revealed to Halle that her best friend knew more about the absent costume than she was letting on. She and Aria had a stare-off, confusing Hanna, who was picking up on the frosty atmosphere.

Halle picked up on it, too. She was used to Alison's challenging stares and knew was it meant. She didn't want to get in the middle of it, so she distracted Hanna with something new. "There, done!" Halle snapped the thread at the end and smiled at her handiwork, thinking of how proud her nana would be. "You look hot, Hanna," said Halle, smiling.

Self-doubt swept in and came out in an insecure frown. Hanna asked as she fiddled with the end of her now shorter-than-short skirt, "You think?"

"Hm-mm," hummed Halle. She stood up and held Hanna's shoulder firmly, meeting the girl's eyes in the mirror. "You look so hot, you're definitely Cute Britney for sure," she reassuring, getting a wide grin from Hanna in response. Halle then made her way across the bedroom to where her white stocking were, along with white platform-heels and halo, just as Spencer went to get into hers.

A sharp gasp escaped Spencer. She jumped back from the back window, startled. "Oh, my gosh! You guys!" She backed away from the glass into the curtains, hiding herself behind the drapes.

Emily was the first over. Her eyes went large. "There's somebody out there!" she exclaimed. "He's watching us!"

The five go to the window to have a look, all staring out at the masked figure stood motionless in Spencer's backyard. The person in the zombie mask went away as Alison got up to look, eerily as if they knew she was coming. As Halle simply walked back to where she once was, Hanna turned her back, freaked.

"Oh, my god," Hanna said, shivering.

"Who is that?" Aria asked.

Pushing her way to look out the window, Alison stared out to see nothing. She shoved through Spencer and Aria as the other disperses, but she had missed the looming figure. It was gone before she got a chance to see.

"I am so creeped out!" Hanna said loudly.

"Whoever it was, they're gone," said Alison, still by that one window.

Halle had returned to the spot where her belongings were. She propped her left leg up on the foot-stool, rolling up the sheer, white tights up her legs. In the midst of putting the finishing touches to her costume, she caught sight over another figure. Her eyes went out of the window and saw straight into the one across from it. She looked into Alison's pink bedroom and found Jason loitering around it. He found her, too.

Bitterly thinking over his words telling her that she was ordinary, Halle made it known she was there. Halle made a scene over her tights. She rolled the material back down her legs, acting like she was smoothing out the creases before she maneuvered it back over her legs. Jason was watching. Eyes stayed on her — the perfect, little distraction — and Halle lit up warmly. She liked him watching her.

"Halle," Emily suddenly said, alarmed. "Come away from the window. Somebody could still be watching us."

Mumbling, Halle turned away from the window. "If only."

While Halle jumped up and shimmed her way into the tights, Hanna said still uneasy, "That was freaky."

"It's Halloween, Hanna. Don't you love a good scare?" Alison teased.

The doorbell rung suddenly. The girls jumped, startled. It didn't matter if it was Halloween, it still freaked them all out and left them on edge.

With a timid voice, Spencer said, "It's probably the pizza guy."

It rung again, and this time Alison got annoyed. "Hurry up before he leaves."

"I don't wanna go down there alone," defended a shaken Spencer, clutching at her dress.

"I'll go," Emily offered.

"Yeah, me too. I'm hungry," said Hanna, smiling reassuringly.

"Of course," Alison scoffed.

Getting tired of all of the fat comments, Halle had enough. She put on a smile for a now shamed-looking Hanna and said, "Ditto, Han." It was the first time she had referred to any of them by a nickname and Halle realised she had reached a new point in these new friendships. "I could die for some cheese right now. Let's go." She linked her arm under Hanna's and led the girl away from the hurtful insults Alison was hurling out tonight. Halle wasn't going to hear it anymore. Tonight was supposed to be fun, and Halle was going to make sure all of them did.

•

The backyard to Noel Kahn's Halloween Bash was full. It was in full-swing, party-goers flooding the large garden. People were thrashing about, dancing and drinking while a live-band played on a wooden stage. Halle's eyes scanned the yard, looking for any cheerleaders she recognised; she figured if she was friendly with some of them, she would have a better chance at getting on the team.

Noel spotted them first, and Alison moved toward him. The crowd parted for her, the girls following the path created after. They were gathered in a line — Alison stood first like always.

Alison noted his costume, the green scrubs, and she jested, "Is the doctor in?"

"Actually, I'm a gynecologist," Noel informed with a large grin on his face.

"Ooh," Alison laughed.

"Care to make an appointment?" he joked back. Noel then turned his attention to the girls and one-by-one guess their outfits, in the order of which they all stood — Alison, Hanna, Aria, Emily, Halle and Spencer. he made each newbie giggle as if he was complimenting them individually. "Hot chick—" Alison, "Britney—" Hanna, "hot witch—" Aria, "hot Indian chick—" Emily, "hot angel—" Halle, who he made a point to stress his attraction to. "And, uh..." Noel stopped the moment he reached Spencer, surprised by the choice of costume.

Spencer was phased at all. She was smiling proudly. "Mary Queen of Scots."

"He doesn't know who that is," Hanna said to Spencer.

"Does anybody?" asked Aria jokingly.

Excited over the stuff she found interesting, Spencer explained, "She was born to be queen, but her cousin stole the throne, and then she was accused of treason and her family had her executed."

Noel nodded, unsure of what to do. He really wanted to move the conversation along because he found it dull. It was a party; he didn't want a history lesson. Noel pointed at Halle and told her, "Cheer-team is inside, I know you'd want in."

"You're amazing, thank you," Halle said appreciatively.

Grinning broadly, Noel said, "Say it again. Come on, say it again."

Halle giggled, her cheek full with how much she was smiling. "You're amazing!" she said loudly. She gleefully jumped up and pressed her lips to his cheek.

Noel's arm came to fall around her waist, holding her close to him. He smiled down at her. "Now that's a proper thank-you, I could get used to that."

Playfully, Halle shoved his chest. She still smiled up at him, secretly enjoying the attention. Somewhere between the easy smiles, Halle spied Alison's watchful, judging gaze. The leader arched a brow up at her, questioning the interaction, and Halle took a step back from Noel's touch.

Disappointment settled into the pair, but Noel was used to it. He'd been close many times before and never gotten far. He sighed and then noticed a new arrival over the heads of the girls. Noel held up a finger to Halle, signalling he'd be back in a moment. He left just as Just Dance began to play.

Stirring up the excitement, Alison yelled happily at her friends, "It's my song, let's hit the dance-floor!"

Just as the group went to dance, they halted on seeing another Lady Gaga. Noel was going over to greet the girl, touching her hand and laughing. She looked a lot better and more Lady Gaga-like than Alison did, with the classic red hooded-bodysuit, shades and blonde wig. Halle looked to Alison, wondering how bruised her ego was, and the snarling lip gave it away — Alison was seething.

"Oh, my god — another Lady Gaga?" asked Hanna in shock,

"Who is that?" Aria asked.

Unimpressed and growing in annoyance, Alison told them all, "Jenna."

•

Halle was stood on by the stairs in the Kahn's large house talking with a few on the juniors on the cheer-team. She was doing a good job of keeping up a conversation; the vice-captain took a liking to her the moment she introduced herself, recognising her from the stands and few hallways fights. Many of the girls were passing around a blunt, inhaling deeply and then handing over to the next. Eventually, it landed in the grasp of the vice-captain, who after she smoked held it out to Halle.

"Oh, no," Halle shook her hand and said, "thanks but no thanks."

"You don't part-take?" asked the vice-captain.

"Doesn't Coach Rhodes do random drug-tests?" Halle recalled hearing that rumor a lot around the cheer-team.

"Yeah, but it's fall-break, it'll be out of systems by time Coach doesn't a random check," said the girl. "Most of the team does it, helps a lot when you need to relax." She inhaled once more and exhaled through her nose, smoke filtering out that way also. "If you wanna be on the team, that's all good. You're probably great, but if wanna fit in, parties are the way to go. Get in with girls and you're in," she advised. "In fact, there's a party next Friday, you should come."

"Really?" Halle asked, surprised.

"Yeah, just try not to squint your nose around the drugs," joked the vice-captain. "Who knows? In a year or two, this could be you," she said kindly. She rubbed Halle's shoulder and added, "You're cool I like you. Look for us at school, okay? We'll tell Coach to watch out for you at try-outs. Oh, and let me know about the party," she reminded.

Halle left the girls feeling rather proud of herself. She was elated, beaming brightly as she walked away. Excited, she wanted to tell Alison first, but bumped into someone before she could.

"Oh, god — I'm sorry," Halle said. She knocked into somebody trying to leave the house on the busy porch. Some of her drink splashed against her plastic cup, leaving her fingers a little sticky but other than that, she was all good.

A deep chuckled came from the figure. "No, it's all good, no spillage," he said.

When Halle's eyes looked up, she was met with an insanely good-looking man. Blue, steely eyes and dark hair. Tall and a nice smile. It was obvious he had the family-look, and if this was what Noel was going to look like when he was older, Halle understood the attraction.

His finger came out, pointing to her. "I've seen you before, right? You came to Noel's birthday last year," he recalled.

"Yeah — Halle," she said. "And you're Noel's brother, Eric."

"How'd you tell?" he asked.

"Call it the look," Halle mentioned, smiling.

"I'm still better looking, though," Eric teased, grinning, with his arms out smugly.

"Man, you really are a Kahn," Halle retorted back, then sharing in chuckle with boy in front of her.

"Nice costume, original," Eric commented, sarcasm within his voice.

"Yeah, well, it beats yours," said Halle. She looked down at his — or at his lack of one. "What did you come as, the guy too cool for Halloween?"

"No, the guy that hates it," Eric joked back.

Halle broke into a large smile. She pursed her lips, liking the tension floating between them. She went to say something more when she spied a glum Emily looking out of place. Halle remembered the promise she made and decided her priorities laid elsewhere. "I should get back to my friend, sorry for bumping into you again," she said.

"Don't worry about it. I got to talk to you, didn't I?" Eric shot her a cheeky smile; he knew the power he had. He was far too similar to Noel, Halle thought.

"And now you get to watch me walk away," Halle chimed in as a finishing comment. Then, she span around on her heels and made her way over to where she last saw Emily. Halle, halfway there, started giggling to herself as she felt her cheek go warm. She shook the giddiness from her as she approached Emily, who was sat alone on a bench off in a secluded corner of the yard.

"Hey, what you doing over here on your own?" Halle asked. When she got no reply, Halle sighed and took a seat beside the swimmer. She nudged Emily with her elbow lightly. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"This party's a bust," Emily groaned, disinterested in her vibrant surrounding. Somehow, Halle put together it must have been something Alison had done or said. Alison had put both Aria and Hanna down already, so why not Emily too?

"We can always leave," Halle suggested, causing Emily to look up at her questioningly. "You can sleep at mine if you want. We can eat popcorn and watch Legally Blonde, have our own party."

"But the others..." Emily drifted off, feeling guilty. "I don't wanna ruin their fun."

"Then it can just be us two," said Halle simply. "I'm not that interested in another Noel Kahn party anyway."

Emily stared at Halle in pleasant surprise. "But we've never done that before. We've never hung out without Ali, it's either all of us or one of us and Ali."

"It doesn't have to be, it can be just us tonight. Besides, I'll let you in on a secret," Halle leaned in closer and revealed, "Ali isn't always the person you want around you. She's my best friend, but she can difficult. You'll learn to deal with it over time."

"Why put up with it, then?" asked Emily curiously.

"The same reason you are," Halle returned gently. "Ali can make you feel special, so all the snide comments and meanness, it's kinda worth it. And she's my longest friend. My first best friend, actually. Believe it not, before Ali, I was always pretty shy."

"No, you weren't," Emily said, surprised but not gullible. Emily had known of Halle since middle-school; Halle was always getting into fights and stirring up trouble. There was nothing shy about her.

"Oh, I was," said Halle, chuckling. "I was, like, the typical no-crap-take, middle child, and then I went to elementary. I went to the Christian one, not the the one every else goes to, and I was quiet and awkward and introverted. I practically clung to my brother's side at lunch. And then Ali moved across the street, and I was suddenly this," Halle remarked, gesturing to all of her. She laughed again and said, "I guess I kinda owe a lot to Ali, so that's why I stick around. She liked me when I was a nobody."

Slightly tipsy from her drink. Emily openly admitted to the girl beside her, "I'm not gonna lie, I thought you were a bitch before I knew you."

Halle nodded along to that. "Yeah, I get that a lot," she said, and the pair laughed together.

•

The walk home was cold. So cold that Halle regretted her costume. Sure she looked cute for the time she was at the party, but her sheer, white tights did nothing to shield her from the chilly night's air. Her heels clicked against the sidewalk and her feet were beginning to ache from being caged in platforms all night.

Halle chose to walk home alone and when she heard a car behind her, slowing down as it got closer, panic rose in her chest. She quickened her pace. Emily's street was only a short minute away. Halle could divert — run to Emily's and Mrs Fields would let her in. She'd be safe.

"Brewster?"

Jason.

Great relief washed over her. It was Jason. Only Jason. Halle was safe. At the very least, it wasn't a creep and she wouldn't end up on Dateline, skinned in the back of a car.

Jason slowed the car down, creeping along the road as she walked slow on the sidewalk. "I thought it was you," he said.

"Well, it's me," said Halle.

"Yeah." Jason mentioned, with a smirk, "Saw your wings a mile away."

Halle rolled her eyes. "And you can keep watching them walk from you."

Jason gave a chuckle. "Come on, get in. I'll give you a ride home," he offered. When Halle turned to shoot him a look, it was his turn to roll his eyes. "It's not like you're far out of my way, we're neighbours."

But Halle picked up walking again. "I'm good without one, thanks." She was short with him, still reeling from his previous comments.

"Come on, Brewster, you're practically jail-bait in that costume," he commented.

It made her skin crawl. The distasteful comment caused her to shiver. Halle stubbornly replied, "It's not my fault if some pervert can't control himself."

"I pity the man who tries to take you one." It was meant as an ice-breaker, but Halle kept on walking. Jason took the brake off and started driving alongside her. "Come on, get in the car. I don't fancy you being kidnapped on my conscience."

"If you have one," she countered back.

Jason couldn't help the smirk that pulled at his mouth. "Smartass." He sighed and tried to get her in the car one last time. Jason couldn't let her walk home alone — it didn't matter what she was wearing. It was late and it wasn't going to happen if he had a choice in the matter. Jason put the brakes on again and shut his engine off, getting her attention. "Get in the car, Halle."

His tone made her stop and face him. Jason was serious this time. There was joke in his voice. Ironically, Jason DiLaurentis was the last person she wanted help from, but he was the one she got. Halle knew Jason well and as much as half of her thought he would get tired and leave her to fend her herself, the other half pulled at her more fiercely. She knew Jason would rather ditch his car here and walk her home himself rather than let her walk alone at night.

Crossing her arms over her chest, Halle asked, "Why?"

"Because you knew I was watching at the window," Jason replied easily, and then Halle gave in.

She held up her finger to him, warningly. "Ali can never know about this."

As she came towards him, Jason said, "You have my word."

"Ha — the word of a stoner," Halle dryly said. She climbed into his car, shutting the door behind her. "Sounds promising."

"It's the best you got right now." Jason waited for her to buckle herself in before he started the car up again. he caught a whiff of something familiar and sniffed. He raised his eyebrows at her, judging her right back. "You can't really say a lot about my habits when you smell of weed, Brewster."

Her eyes widened. "Well, it wasn't me!" Halle started panicking, fumbling at her outfit. She turned her head to smell the feathered-wings. "Is it obvious? I can't smell it. Some of the cheer-team were smoking it, I was just stood there."

He saw the rise of panic in her face and kindly said to her, "It's not bad, I just have a nose for that sort of stuff. There's some cologne in the dash, you can have that."

"Thanks." Halle shot his a small, pressed smile. She then reached for the dashboard, unlocking it and grabbing the bottle. She chose to spray her outfit now, so it didn't smell overwhelmingly like she was trying to cover something else by time they reached Bridgewater Terrace.

They were coasting the dimly lit streets of Rosewood only for a few seconds before Jason spoke again. "So, where's my loving sister and her folk of hens?" he asked sarcastically.

"Still at the party," Halle answered. She put the cologne back and snapped the dash shut afterwards.

"And why did you decide to be an idiot and walk home by yourself?" Jason told her lowly, "You know the world is full of creeps, even Rosewood." He thought about it more and added honestly, "Especially Rosewood."

"If you're gonna do lecture me, pull over and let me out because I'm not in the mood," Halle snapped.

"Hey, hey, cool it. I meant no harm." Jason glanced to her, meeting the side of her face. The corners of her mouth were tilted down and her eyes were dull — almost sad. He knew the look too well. Jason had known Halle since his family moved to Rosewood and she had been best friends with his sister just as long. So, genuinely wanting to know, Jason asked, "What did she do?" He saw Halle turn to him, throwing him a questioning look. "Alison," he said. "What did she do this time?"

"Oh, that." Halle cast her eyes down to her lap. "Um, she... She played a prank on us, let's just say it wasn't the nicest." She caught Jason's incredulous glance at her and she caved. "Okay, it was borderline abusive — Hanna was crying all the way back to the party and I just wanted to get out of there before I smacked Ali." Without hesitation, Halle continued telling him, "Ali wanted to see if she could trust us to save her if came down to it, it was ridiculous and so Alison. She got us to that abandoned house of Milwood and told us somebody had grabbed her. Then, she acted out the perfect fight scene, had the person threaten her with a knife while she locked us all in a room where we couldn't get to her. We trying to help her, listening and hearing her screams. I thought finally someone had snapped and hurt her, but it was all a prank." Her top lip curled out of bulit-up annoyance and said, "Just one big lie. Ali tormenting us — and the worst part is, it'll bring us closer. It's already happening, I feel myself changing because of them. I don't like it," said Halle, stubborn about her apparent caring side.

"Shared trauma, that's the real stuff." Jason had taken it all. He listened to every word and let Halle get it all out before he even formed his own opinion. When he eventually gave it, it wasn't what Halle wanted to hear. Jason lectured, "You should've know it was a prank, you've known Ali too long."

Halle turned on him, sitting up in the seat. "I thought she was going to be killed."

"Still," Jason replied.

She huffed loudly. Halle threw herself back against the leather and crossed her arms over her chest. "Well, thanks for reminding me how stupid I am to trust Ali."

"You are stupid for trusting Ali," Jason shot back harshly. "But not trusting her... that's the deadly stuff."

"So, you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't," said Halle. "You can't win."

"Nobody wins but Ali. Don't you know that already?" Jason fired.

"Yeah." Halle nodded, confirming something she had known for a very long time but never admitted to. "Yeah, I do. That's why I need to grow up and get out."

As she looked out, counting streetlights in her head, Jason glanced back over at her. She was avoiding his stare because she didn't want to confess how much his words from the day before had affected her. Jason had shaken Halle's world loose and she was finally seeing the cracks for what they were — gaping wide, black abysses which sucked the goodness from everyone.

Halle had always wanted to leave Rosewood. Her biggest fantasy was to get out of Rosewood, but Jason's words stung. Halle knew even if she got out, Rosewood would find a way to suck her back. She'd have a house on a road like Bridgewater terrace, at the end of cul-de-sac, in a town she hated. Her only hope of knowing something greater than that, if just for a fleeting moment of her life, was through a scholarship.

Halle Brewster was ordinary and all she had was cheerleading. Her mother taught her that. Alison taught her that. Jason taught her that. She'd live and die in the same corner of the world. But if that was the life she was doomed to have, Halle was going to make it the best version she could possibly get. Halle was going to be in Rosewood forever, the least she could do was give herself a good one.

•