𝙂𝙊𝙊𝘿 𝙂𝙄𝙍𝙇𝙎! 𝙣𝙘𝙩 𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢

yun sat at the edge of her bed, fingers tapping away mindlessly as she waited for haechan to approach her dorm room. her heart pounded in her chest and when she finally heard three gently knocks at the door, she almost jumped out of her skin.

she was still in the clothes she slept in, her hair was lazily thrown into a bun and she only managed to get up to brush her teeth quickly. she was both itching but hesitant to get the right words out and now that haechan stood in her doorway, it was far too late to back out.

he looked at her with guilt flooding his eyes and she hated it. she wanted things to go back to the way they were before she was stuck in some stupid love triangle, and she wished her heart would make up its mind.

awkwardness filled the air when neither of them said a word, yun stepping aside to allow the boy into her small dorm. a greeting felt much too casual for such an intimate and backstabbing moment between them, the silence was unbelievably uncomfortable.

"have you spoken to jaemin?" yun finally croaked out, shutting the door behind him as she watched him walk further into the room.

haechan sighed with relief at her starting the conversation before he had to. "yeah. he's really not happy... obviously."

the shorter nodded and crossed her arms, "i wouldn't be happy either if i were him."

"he knows we were like, really drunk, and he doesn't see that as an excuse," he began, "but i want you to know that i wouldn't have tried anything if i was sober. i swear i wasn't thinking straight—"

"i know, neither was i. i think we should really focus on ourselves, because it just seems like i can never make a decent decision."

the boy felt his heart drop slightly, though yun wasn't very specific in her words he already knew exactly what she meant. his hands were shoved into his pockets so she wouldn't notice his shakiness, and the words that fell off of his tongue couldn't be stopped.

"am i just a second option to you?"

"what?" the brunette furrowed her eyebrows in surprise, clearly not expecting such a question. "no, haechan, absolutely not."

"i'm just genuinely curious. i don't wanna be that to you."

"you're not, and i really don't think we should talk about this anymore, us. i've already hurt people and i refuse to fuck everything up even more."

"you already know how i feel about you, don't you?"

she was already nervous with him almost all the way across the room, and watching him take slow steps toward as he spoke didn't help. "yeah i do. like i said, we shouldn't talk about it anymore. i mean it."

"stop coming closer, haechan."

the boy finally came to a stop just a foot away, much closer than he was before, hating that his feelings had restrictions. "so it's too late then?"

"what's too late?"

"us. i don't want to hurt jaemin, i never did, he's my best friend. but i really can't help how i feel and it's just not fair how he gets to do all the things i wanna do with you."

"that's not—"

"if you wanna stop talking for a while that's fine, i get it, but fuck. i know you like me, yun. we already fucked up there's no point in hiding now. what else can we fucking lose?"

yuns brain became clouded and she suddenly forgot every single thing she wanted to say about how they shouldn't be friends until she got her shit together, hearing haechan so passionately spill out his feelings for her.

"you both need to understand that i am my own person. i'm not just some girl you get to fight over, and i'll make my decision when i'm ready. i need time..." she was hardly able to get the words out, "just give me time. please."

realizing he was coming off more desperate than he intended to, haechan relaxed his shoulders as his eyes went softer and nodded. he couldn't help himself but pulled her smaller body into an embrace and she seemed to have been more than okay with it.

"you're right, i'm sorry. i'll give you all the time you need. i'll be here no matter what."

jaemin
im sorry for ignoring you, i just
needed to cool off before i replied

jaemin
i said some not very nice things to haechan out of anger and i feel
really bad about it. i shouldve just
listened

jaemin
i just wanted to let you know that
im not mad. at the end of the day
youre free to do whatever you want
and honestly youre too important
for me to actually hate you

jaemin
i know you didnt mean to hurt me
and i know you both were drinking
a lot. to me that doesnt really make
it better but we ended things, its
really not my right to get mad

jaemin
youre so special to me and i really wouldnt be doing this if i didnt truly
feel its whats best

jaemin
but i cant wait around

jaemin
i already said this to haechan but
if he is really where you feel your
heart belongs, dont hesitate bc
of me

jaemin
and i want to see you become the
better version of yourself considering youve already been thru hell and back

yun
no of course

yun
you are so right and im so sorry
if i made you feel unimportant
because you made me so fuckifn
happy

yun
you really didnt deserve any of this
and i dont deserve you

yun
i dont know where my heart is really
but i am working on myself i promise

yun
no matter what happens i dont wanna
lose anyone

jaemin
you wont lose me yun we'll still talk

jaemin
i just cant guarantee you that ill
still be here when youre ready

yun
yeah

yun
i wanna go back in time and fix everything

jaemin
theres nothing to fix this is how
its supposed to be

jaemin
this sounds so corny but if we're
meant to be we'll find our way back
to each other but if not, its still okay

jaemin
itll work out either way

jaemin
you know you deserve the best
even if you feel like youve fucked
up

yun
you might be right i just need time

yun
i need a lot of time to myself

jaemin
that's completely understandable

jaemin
take all the time you need

jaemin
ill be here no matter what

just wanna explain quickly that both of saying "ill be here nmw" is actually two different meanings in case anyones confused

haechan is like ill wait for you forever if i have to idc ur mine

jaemin is more like im here for you as friend or as a lover, whatever happens, happens