𝙂𝙊𝙊𝘿 𝙂𝙄𝙍𝙇𝙎! 𝙣𝙘𝙩 𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢

tw brief mentions of suicide
this chapter is kinda crucial to yuns background so pls try not to skip if u can

nervous was definitely an understatement. the driver couldn't help but gaze at the front view mirror every 2 minutes to see yun chewing at her finger nails like no tomorrow, a slight yet prominent panicked look on her face as she glanced out the windows.

the man played it safe and didn't mutter a word until they reached their destination, pulling up to the big house she grew up in and stepped out of the vehicle practically trembling. they brought in her few bags together and when the sound of faint footsteps traveled their way, he gave a reassuring smile and mouthed 'good luck' before leaving.

of course yuns mother stood tall and mighty, hands clasped together over a smooth black skirt and painted red lips that didn't dare go over her lip line. a mere stare from the woman was intimidating enough, but knowing there was animosity behind it only made it more uncomfortable.

yun swallowed, eyes flickering between her parents without a word. she couldn't decide if talking first was the best idea. "i'll bring your bags upstairs." her dad finally spoke up after moments of awkward silence.

before the younger could protest and tell him she could do it herself, he was already gripping the handles of her bags and pulling them away from the thick tension that only grew thicker when they were left alone.

that moment yun wished she tried harder to keep it all a secret from her parents. it sucked having to constantly live up to expectations that she worked her ass off to uphold, getting stripped of her entire childhood in the process, but at least before they had somewhat of a relationship. it wasn't perfect, one-sided most of the time when really the only time they'd bond was when yun was showing her mother a straight A, or certificate of perfect attendance. never when it was something she was truly excited about.

it wasn't much, but it was something.

"your grandparents want to have dinner tonight, so you should go upstairs and get ready," her mother said, eyes glancing everywhere in the room to avoid eye contact with her daughter.

"okay.." yun dragged, "can you at least look at me?"

she could visibly see her mother gulp, a light sigh blowing from her nose when she felt like she had to confront their problem. "i said what i had to say, yunyeong."

"right, but you didn't really say anything that made sense. you can't actually be mad at me for... for living my life like a regular person?"

"i'm mad because you think you can just go around acting like a child after you worked your ass off to get where you are." her mothers voice raised in the slightest, her eyes finally connecting with yuns.

"mom, i'm an adult holy shit, you can't tell me what to do anymore. i admit, yes, the beginning of the semester was rocky but i easily got back on track and forgive me for actually having a life."

the older women crossed her arms, pushing her weight on one foot while her glare got colder and her tone suddenly got quieter. "you are not my daughter."

yuns lips parted in shock and her words became frozen in her throat, watching her mother turn her heel and strut away. the younger couldn't help but follow as she felt threatened, almost by such simple yet cold words. "i am your daughter, whether you like it or not, all i ever asked from you was to act like it. at least pretend like you care about me."

"i do care about you!" the other shouted, twisting her body around which caused yun to stop in her tracks. "don't pull that with me, yunyeong, you know good and well everything i did was for you. for you to have a good life."

yun scoffed, "i'm so fucking glad i got away from you when i got the chance."

her words cut through the woman like a knife, as she truly couldn't see anything wrong with how she treated her daughter. she couldn't see past the materialistic things, the things that a mother was supposed to do instead of being there for her when she was at her break.

"you are so ungrateful. i really do miss who you were before..." trailing off, her mother couldn't find it in her to finish.

yuns eyebrows perked up. "before what? before i tried to kill myself? is that what you're thinking?"

her mother bit down a gasp as she closed her eyes, taking in the very sentence she wanted to forget but couldn't say anything else because she was right.

"yeah, i miss who i was too."

yangyang
WHO UP

yangyang
will anyone answer

yangyang
who knows

yangyang
yuanzi is staying with chenle
during break YEAHHHH

danbi
OMG thats so exciting

yuanzi
when he airs out ur business 😍

yangyang
i know😍😍

kyong
EEE

kyong
yuanzi i cant wait to get closer
with youuuuu

yuanzi
omg me too babe youre so cute

yuanzi
this is so last minute but yolo!

chenle
dude we're getting the band
back together!!!

jisung
ITS BEEN SOOO LONG

jisung
adulting is so hard

jisung
why dont we all just drop out
and idk

jisung
have slumber parties and go
on field trips

yuanzi
oh jisung

yuanzi
jisung jisung jisung

jisung
i wanna be an ant and just eat
crumb

chenle
you are already an ant

jisung
aw thanks

haechan
eat crumb and get stepped on
and die

jisung
this is why no one fuckonf likes
u u ruin everhrbj f you make life unbearable i hate u

jisung
I FOUND A CLOUD SHAPED
LIKE A FISH

ren
how is he this funny

yangyang
IM DEAD

ren
i just got home and MY ROOM

ren
MY BED

ren
mmm so comfy im never going
back

jeno
i just got home and i want to
leave IMMEDIATELY

mark
isnt it crazy how just five
months we literally did not
know each other😰😰

mark
like we didnt know yun and ren
and danbi and kyong

mark
and now we here

haechan
omgggg we're besties now

ren
did you guys know we initially
wanted nothing to do with them

yuanzi
i am pretending to be shocked

ren
AHAHAHAH

haechan
okay but if you didnt have us
now you would be bored with
life so ur welcome

ren
ah yes nothing better than going
to parties every weekend and
getting shitfaced

haechan
like i said youre welcome😘😘😘😘

yuanzi
no better than when we were
in middle school

yuanzi
they used to peer pressure me
into vandalizing the bathroom
stalls

sungchan
LMAOOOOOOO

renjun
NO LEAVE me out of that i
had nothing to do with it

renjun
by THEY she means yeongcheol
and hyuck

ren
oh so haechan meant what he
said😥

renjun
110%

sungchan
what did haechan say

haechan
that cheol is worse than me

yangyang
ya hes right

yangyang
beware of the satan spawn

jeno
im sorry to bother you but i am
Worried for yun so bad

jeno
and jaemin keeps texting me
about her like i would know
any more than he does ???

jeno
so in conclusion you are her
best friend so please tell me
if shes okay😰😰😰

ren
well i mean

ren
yun seems to really trust you
so i dont blame jaemin

ren
but i have no idea i havent
heard from her either

ren
i usually dont worry too much
bc shes a tough girl she always
has been

ren
but if i dont hear from her soon
then yeah i might panic

jeno
oh

jeno
okay

jeno
that did not ease my nerves
at all

ren
sorry babe idk to comfort people

jeno
jrd dine

jeno
jrd fine haha

jeno
its*

jeno
ill just try to keep a positive
mindset

ren
you really care about her dont u

jeno
yeah ofc

jeno
we had similar experiences so
i can understand how she feels
in a way

jeno
i mean i definitely did not have
it as hard but you know

jeno
and we all got really close so
fast

ren
its just like

ren
how do i say this

ren
thank you? i guess

jeno
hmmm for what

ren
for being there for her

ren
she never really had anyone to
relate to

ren
obviously she has danbi and i
and we helped her as much as
she could but she struggled a
bit opening up to us because
we could never connect

ren
but with you its like u can really
tell its so easy for her to talk
about things because your lives
were similar

ren
i think yall are legit the same
person

ren
maybe thats why i like u so
much😓

jeno
omg #flattered

jeno
but i feel the same and 😢 im
happy i can help her open up

jeno
thats really nice to hear

jeno
i do care about you guys a
lot idk

ren
wow you are such a softie
its so cute

jeno
I AM i cant help it

jeno
i am in love with you

ren
what

jeno
KIDDING

ren
HELLO