I get up early on Sunday to prepare myself for Terry's performance.

Usually, I'd be excited about worship and this message most. This time, Terry's face flashes in my eyelids, almost like I dreamed of him in the night. Dreaming of a guy? Who have I turned into?

My parents had to get to church extra, extra early. So Liss picks me up.

"Hey M!" she says when I open the passenger door. Her chipper voice tells nothing about what she told me yesterday. Almost like that conversation never happened.

"Hey!" I put on a genuine smile. When we head over to Church Together, I let out a big sigh. "Can you believe Kaylee? She talked about my bowel movements. She said I clogged up the toilets, which never happened once in my life."

Liss lets out a guffaw. "What? She must've really wanted to embarrass you."

The image of Terry runs through my mind. "Yeah.... Hey. There's this guy who's going to perform today. He's a contemporary dancer, and I actually got to meet him. He's not a believer, but he's dancing to a Christian song. Isn't that interesting?"

"Oh super," Liss says. We pause at a red light. "But you never really approach people like that. What's got into you?"

I was enchanted. Fully enchanted. "Well. I don't know, I just was really curious about him."

She shoots me a suspicious look as the light blinks green. "Sure.... Anyway, I'll be happy to view his hotness by myself."

"Hotness." I take a gulp, and I wish I drank more water in the morning. "How do you know that?

"He just sounds hot," Liss says, sighing like the main character in a romance novel. "Even the name Terry. He sounds like he has muscle, and a killer face card."

I'd roll my eyes if she weren't so accurate. "Terry is more than that. You'll see."

We leave our conversation on lighter notes, nothing about what she said yesterday about temporarily leaving the church. I want to cry at that thought, but I hold onto the moment. To today. Liss is still going to Sunday service, which is a huge sign.

"Anyway I'd love to catch coffee," I say. "Maybe Terry can join us?"

Liss lets out a sputtering laugh. "Really? You must love this guy already, Martin."

Love? I've never loved anyone romantically. I didn't think it would be possible for me.

Not with my... desires. I haven't talked to anyone about it besides Liss and a brief mention to my Bible study group. But I thought I'd need to stay satisfied being single. Not that the monk life is all so appealing to me.

When we reach church, we barely grab our notes—a slip of paper—from the greeters before Kaylee attacks me. Rather, she stops in front of me and wrings her hands on her dress. "Hey! I'm so sorry, Martin. About embarrassing you. Turns out... I really do like Terry. I shouldn't have said that while he was there! Do you think you can... set us up?"

Her cautious tone brings me to a standstill. "Huh?" I can't believe Kaylee would apologize to me. And she likes Terry? I can't let her know my feelings about him.

A spark goes through her eyes. "Or else. I'll tell him again, about your bowel movements."

Liss laughs and leads me away. She calls over her shoulder, "Don't worry, Kaylee! He'll love you eventually."

Worship plays as we walk in, and we get to our seats on the far right. I don't have time to process what happened with Kaylee. But I push it down and raise my hands. When it's time for Terry's performance, I can hardly sit still.

I grab Liss' arm. "There he is!"

I can barely contain my excitement. He looks just as good as yesterday. He's wearing the same clothes. Did he wash them? Did his mom wash them for him? Or perhaps he didn't wash them at all. Perhaps they smell a bit.

Er. I push that out of my head as he begins.

Slack jawed, I count more than five new alterations to his dance. Extra turns. A careful jump and twist in the air. Unconsciously, I hold Liss' hand tightly and only notice it twenty seconds later.

"Breathtaking..." I whisper when he's done.

Liss also breathes heavily. "Wow. You weren't lying."

After service, Terry's attacked by several admirers, including my parents. I head outside to order a coffee. I usually order two coffees in total on Sunday, a treat to myself. I get Liss a black tea with strawberry syrup, along with a banana bread to share.

The second service will start soon, and my head darts all around to look for Terry. He'll walk through the doors at any moment, a confession blooming on his lips....

I swallow hard. Seriously, what's gotten into me?

Eventually, the second service begins. Another three songs of praise and worship. Then the announcements. Then, Terry again.

I can hardly contain my excitement. A part of me shifts, aching for more, knowing that he will only perform this last time. Will he never return? Liss and I grasp each other tightly, as if we both live in the arctic forest. Terry warms me with his dance, with even more turns than the last. He kicks and twists himself around in a full 360 degrees. I gasp, and the whole crowd erupts in applause when he finishes.

Tears spring to my eyes. I listen to the message again, of course. I add to my notes and cringe when Pastor Donn adds a joke about a chicken and a hamster, who were apparently part of Job's farmstead.

When the service ends, Liss grips my shoulder. "Go get him, Martin. Maybe he will join us. Flash your card again and tell him you'll buy him a caramel macchiato."

I nod solemnly back. I know what I must do. In fact, I'm going right now.

I slide through the crowd, most of them leaving. I stride toward Terry as he entertains a group of admirers again. I clear my throat. "Terry, we need to talk."

He looks at me as if I proclaimed him guilty of a murder. I quickly correct myself. "Er. No! I mean that I would like to talk. Only if you'd like to, of course."

"Sure," he says. He quickly recovers, regaining his cool.

Phew. I almost ruined it for us all.

I catch myself there. What is there to ruin? A first impression and a tasty wannabe coffee date?

I have to pinch myself as Terry says a reluctant goodbye and we meet up with Liss by the exit next to the cafe. "Hi," she says. "I'm Lisss, Martin's bestie. You know, that was one of the best performances I've seen on the stage. I know you probably talked to M about this, but how did you learn?"

Terry answers eagerly, as if feeling light after three successful performances. How he started at eleven and all that. He adds, "Martin told me he would join me next time."

I did? I almost choke on my future coffee. "Huh? Oh, yeah! I totally told you that."

Liss' grin grows wide. "Hey, that would be amazing. Martin, you've been looking for an extracurricular activity anyway, yeah? Why don't you add some excitement in your life?

I guess excitement is called for. But I planned to have a quiet summer of Bible study, class, and growing my faith. Now, I have dancing to look forward to?

Kaylee happens to be the cashier. Again. Gone is the contrite spirit, and she wears her mischievous grin. "Hey! So the janitor—"

"So yeah," I interrupt, glaring at her with all the power I can put in my eyes. "We want a caramel macchiato. And a black tea with blueberry syrup. And... I'll get a white mocha with soy milk, half sweet."

Kaylee glances from Liss, to Terry, to me. "Sureee," she says, entering the items extra slowly. "Anyway, Terry, I loved every second. You looked marvelous, like a baby fennec fox."

"Thanks," Terry says. If he likes her back, he doesn't show a hint of it.

Our trio sits down, and after Liss fetches our drinks, I remember Terry's goodbye yesterday. "Is everything okay?" I say. "You left pretty abruptly yesterday. I was worried."

"Oh yeah," Terry says after a small sip. I can see his face light up from the sugar and caffeine. "That was just something with my cat. His name is Honeydew."

"How cute!" Liss says. "What happened? Bad hairball?"

Something in Terry's face twists. "Well. He might be coming to the end of his life. We took him to the vet and he started acting strange, even though his test results are pretty good. We just have to see. Although I have a feeling. That it's time for him to go."

"Poor Honeydew," I say. I imagine Terry's cat. "How long did you have him for?"

"I think since I was four," he says. "He's been with me through almost everything."

Endearing? More than so. I can imagine so many cute images. They run through my head. I try to shake them away. "I'd love to help if you need it," I say. "Well! I don't have pets. Both my parents are allergic to fur. And that would be really bad if we had a cat or dog, because they'd never get any rest sneezing all the time. Plus, my dad has a fear of furry animals. Isn't that weird?"

Terry nods solemnly. Liss holds in a laugh.

Terry decides, "Hey, one thing that would cheer me up is if you learn dance with me. Why don't you come? We have a studio night on Tuesday. It's only for two hours. But you can stay afterwards with me. If you'd like."

Before I choke, I say, "Yes. Sure."

Liss squeals a bit. "Martin! This is going to be so good for you. I know I didn't get an invite yet, but I kinda have a surprise too. I'm joining a figure skating class. I was so excited after the last Winter Olympics."

I beam. "That's great, Liss."

Terry says, "Yeah. Like you guys, I just finished high school. So I don't really know what I want to do yet. I have a college lined up, but it doesn't feel too right. I think I'll just keep on dancing and see what comes."

See what comes? That's so different from my planning of my summer. For what I want to study in Bible school.

"Let's talk about it more!" I say. "On Tuesday. When we go to the studio. Er. Only if you want to."

"Sure, let me give you the address."

Here it comes. Will he give me judgment for not driving yet? When all my past classmates got their license ages ago? "Um. I...."

Terry glances once at my face and seems to guess my thoughts. "I can come pick you up. No worries."

A rush of relief flows through me. "Oh my gosh! That would be great. I mean, usually I totally get nervous going to new places and stuff. But not with you. Because we're really...."

What was the word I was going for? Liss prods me with her eyes. "You guys are friends," she says. "That's great. Please give me a video update of Martin trying to dance. That will definitely make my day."

Terry finishes off his caramel macchiato with a large slurp. He glances at the door and the last of the lingering church goers. "I gotta go. Text me your address though, Martin."

As soon as he walks out the door, I can't stop smiling. She nudges me with her wrist. "Hey! That went so well. He's a pretty cool guy."

"Isn't he?" I say, almost squealing. Kaylee gives me a mischievous look from behind the coffee bar.

"Yeah," Liss says. "But I can sense a rebellious streak in him. Be careful, Martin. I don't want you to get your feelings hurt."

Even though she has good intentions, I flare up. "I totally won't get hurt. I'm not that sensitive."

She nods, swirling her fruity tea around her plastic cup. "I'll come next week too. But I... am still struggling. Maybe I just need some time to sort through my thoughts."

"Sure," I say, even though I want to protest. "I'm so sorry Liss. This was supposed to be our time. There's so much I want to process with you."

"I don't know if there's anything more to it," Liss admits.

A pang goes through my heart. We sit for a bit longer. Eventually, my parents come along. Church is vibrant and lively almost all of Sunday, so we like to stay until late afternoon, until my family will have brunch with Liss. Liss' parents don't come to church—but they used to, back when they didn't become uber busy.

But before we go, I try one more time. "Maybe you can bring it up with one of the pastors?"

"I feel like I know what they'll say," Liss says. "Because I brought up these concerns before. But I think I can try one more time."

"Yes," I say. "We all have doubts. But your faith? You can't give that up, Liss. Um. Not that it's up to me. Free will and all."

She sweeps her dark, slightly wavy hair over her shoulder. "I know, Martin."

Liss and I follow my parents as they drive to our favorite waffle place downtown. We order way too much, stuff ourselves with starch and syrup, and discuss the message. Liss offers a lot of insight, but she doesn't bring up her questions with my parents.

Sunday's usually time to rest. So at home, I read my Bible and pray, then I put on some soothing lo-fi music to play a video game. I know... it might be a waste of time. But I can't describe my obsession with building my own spaceship and spacebase. It's like my own little world outside of reality.

An hour into redecorating my spacebase with items that scream summer, I get a text. From Terry.

A rush of excitement jumps into my throat. Already? Maybe he changed his mind? He could've been excited at the time, but now he would like to offer someone else the chance to dance. Someone much cuter.... Way cuter.

I can't think that now. With a trembling breath, I leave my cursor and mouse alone. I open the message.

What I see shocks me to the core. It's not like I've never seen a guy at the beach like this, but to see Terry like this?

He wears nothing but tight white briefs. He looks seductively at the mirror, as if thinking about biting his lip. The contours.... The abs.

Then, another picture joins it. In this one, he turns his back to the mirror, his phone angled over his shoulder. To reveal, yes, a boxer-brief Terry as close to nude as possible.

I hold in a scream and fling my phone against the floor.

What have I done? What have I opened? Trembling, I pick up my phone and delete the pictures, even though they're already emblazoned into my mind. I type up a long message, then delete it. I try to sound polite.

Hey, was that an accident? I deleted them already.

Am I too nice about this? What if he's actually a pervert who sends nudes of himself to everyone he meets? I'm just glad it wasn't something even more explicit.

He sends a message two seconds later. I'm so sorry, Martin. Those were meant for my friend. We're comparing progress pics.

Progress pics? What a load of—

I almost have to drop a quarter in my and Liss' no-swearing jar. This is really, really, bad. 

What do you think? Is Martin down bad?

What kind of guy do you think Terry is? I'm interested to hear all your thoughts! Also don't be shy, I would love to answer any questions you leave in the comments.