•••

4:50 pm.

After taking a quick shower, I climb on the sofa while she's typing on her phone, but I get clingy and crawl over her to rest my head on her chest and wrap my arms around her. "I missed holding you like that..." I mumble, but she presses a kiss on my forehead and fills my stomach with butterflies. "I missed it too. I missed it a lot," she leaves her phone aside just for me, and she hugs me back, so I keep my eyes closed and enjoy this moment full of warmth, care, and love.

While I'm almost dozing off on her, she runs her fingers through my hair and soothes me, making me feel relaxed and good as ever. I kindly rub the tip of my fingers over her back as she's doing so, and I pay attention to the beating of her heart, soft and slow, perfect for me to fall asleep like a baby.

"Do you want to eat lamb skewers for dinner?" she asks in a delicate voice, combing my hair the way I like it. "Yes, please."

"Okay, we'll eat some more of the chocolate cake you baked for dessert then," she kisses my forehead once again, but I cuddle up against her even more, moving my head down on her breasts, my arms remain around her body, and she pampers me with a lot of attention and care.

"I love you..." I smile against her warm skin, but her fingers run down the side of my face to skin my cheek. "I love you too."

At the sound of those words that can make my heart lose its steadiness, my lips curve up, but I move up to face her, and I lock our lips for a tender kiss. Her hand cups my face while mine are holding my upper body up, and I give gentle pecks to them, but once I feel her thumbs caress my jawline and hot cheeks, I break the soft kiss and brush my cheek past hers to end with my face in the crook of her neck, and I let my body rest down on her.

"Are you okay?" she pulls my hair back with kindness, and I nod. "Yes, why do you ask?"

"I don't know, I feel like something is wrong but that you don't talk about it," she wraps her arms around my neck, and I open my eyes to look up into her eyes. "No, I'm fine. I just missed you a lot, and you? Do you want to talk?"

"Not necessarily," she acts a bit odd as if she didn't dare to bring the topic up. "Really? I want you to talk if needed, or if this is about what we only talked about on the phone...tell me unless you want to wait."

"Well, I don't have much to say about this. I just wonder if you have any questions or fears that you'd like to talk about with me," she expresses her worry about my feelings and point of view, making me feel like I should tell her and ask her what I want to know. "I just...I'm scared to not be able to be or feel like a father."

"It's okay, you don't have to be worried. I'll be here with you, and I'll make sure you're not stressed or anything," she relieves me and comforts me. "And is it going to hurt you...? I mean, I didn't ask my mother about it, but I'm scared you could be in a lot of pain."

"It will be a bit difficult, but every woman can handle it. Don't worry about that," she smiles at me, showing how strong she is as always. The dame expression grows on my face, but I turn around, remaining between her thighs, I grab a fluffy blanket to cover our bodies, lean back, and take her hands to intertwine them with mine. "I'm going to work hard and graduate to be there for the baby and allow you to have some breaks. I promise."

"Don't promise anything, just do your best," she presses one kiss on my cheekbone and hugs me, so I keep my hands tangled in hers, and I turn my head to the side to close my eyes and breathe her scent in.

•••

8 pm.

"Come on, try to explain in French what you're going to do after studying," she plays with my hair as we got back into our previous position after eating dinner, and I try to focus. "Okay, uhm...let's say it in English first. I'm going to brush my teeth, give you a goodnight kiss, and hug you until I fall asleep."

"All right, now in French. Use the words you know even if it's not the same sentence," her help manages to make me do my best, and I go for it. "All right...so...Je..." I pause, already, but she giggles near my ear and causes crazy butterflies to invade my stomach. "That's a good start."

"Je vais brosser mes dents..." I nod, instinctively validating my own sentence. "Et...je vais te faire un bisou...un bonne nuit bisou?" I gaze up at her to get her reaction, but she smiles. "There are different translations for this, but you can say 'un bisou pour aller dormir'."

"Ok. So, je vais te donner un bisou pour aller dormir, did I pronounce it right?" I peek at her again, and she confirms. "And after that, je vais te câliner..." I get stuck because of the next word that I cannot remember. "Jusqu'à," she whispers it in my ear, and I beam but repeat. "Jusqu'à je m'endors."

"No," she softly reacts to my mistake, and I gaze at her while she's correcting me. "Jusqu'à ce que je m'endorme, or, jusqu'à m'endormir."

"Why is it different like that?" I do not understand it. "Because if the verb is in the present tense, then you do not use the 'ce que'."

"Ok," I comprehend and register this information, but a kiss on my cheekbone softens my heart. "You did great, let's try with something else, and we're going to practice that way every day, I'll speak in French all the time."

"I don't mind," I grin but tell the truth since I love it like ever when she talks to me in French. "Ok, let's start with the first sentence. Je t'aime, mon bébé."

"I love you, my baby," my smile widens instantly, and my eyes shoot up to hers. "Tu m'aimes?"

"Oui," I respond but like it, and she continues our small conversation. "A quel point? Beaucoup ou un peu?" she gestures with her hands to make sure I understand and shows a big and small space. "Beaucoup," I mimic her. "Alors je suis heureuse."

"Je suis heureuse aussi," I say the same, meaning it, but her reaction makes me feel like I did not say it well. "Oh, so you're a girl?" she chuckles, and I realize what she means by that. "No, I meant 'Je suis heureux'."

"Perfect, baby," she rewards me with a kiss on the temple, and I feel proud of myself.

— Two weeks later —

Wednesday, December 18, 2019.

10 am.

I get out of the classroom after receiving my report but do not feel really happy or relieved, I bite my lips but make my way to the stairs to walk down them, and I get out to join my best friends who passed before me, and who are waiting in the parking lot.

"Oh, it does not seem to be good," Dongsik notices my face, but I shrug and stand by their sides. "I failed math and chemistry really hard."

"But the others are fine?" he keeps his report card in his hand, this one that does not have a single failure while mine does. I nod to him. "Well, that's great then. Don't worry, you can still make up for it with the tests of the next trimesters and the exams at the end of this year. I'm sure it will be fine."

"You say that because you succeeded in every subject," I get jealous again, feeling like a dumbass for not being able to do as good as he did. "I failed too, you know," Jaehyun opines himself, but I raise my eyebrows. "Yes, but we knew you would."

"You're an asshole," he looks daggers at me, but I chuckle and glance back at Dongsik, not even asking how that went for Minjun since he never failed a single test. "Seriously. I know you'll graduate without any problem. Don't be pessimistic, it's just the first exam session, and you only failed in two subjects, that's ok."

"Yeah," I do not cry like a baby, seeing how much he's trying to reassure me. "She's gonna be proud, you know it," he mentions what he knows will make me weak, and I smile, thinking about the woman I want to see. She's going to cheer me up for sure, I already know it.

"Hey, guys," the one we talked about surprises us, and I whirl around once I hear her angelic voice. "How did it go?" she smiles at us, but I keep my report low to not respond but let the others do it. "Great, I did not fail in any subject," Dongsik returns the kindness. "Oh, that's perfect then. I'm happy for you, I knew you would do great."

"Really? I failed some tests though," he rolls the piece of paper in his hand but brings it to his chin. "Yes, but I know you work hard and always do good overall. I'm proud of you," her words pierce me like bullets, and I hate it, silently. "It did not go so well for me though, I failed several subjects...I feel bad..." Jaehyun tells her. "Which ones?"

"Chemistry, physics, history, and math...I'm a freaking dumbass..." he acts sad in front of her when I know he does this just because he knows he's going to get destroyed by his parents. "Aw. It's ok, maybe this first trimester was not your favorite one, but you will maybe like the themes in the upcoming ones and get better marks or enjoy it more, don't feel discouraged at all."

"I'll try," he nods, and now she focuses on Minjun. "I guess you did perfect," she smiles, but he chuckles and acquiesces. "I did."

"Great," she turns her head towards me, making my body freeze. "Do you want to wait for your little brother?" she does not ask me the question, probably aware of the fact that I hate talking about my grades. I nod but touch her hand with mine in a subtle manner. "But we can wait in your car, I'll tell him to join us there."

"All right," she smiles and grips her bag. "Enjoy your holidays, and rest a lot. See you in two weeks," she bows to them, but Dongsik keeps his eyes on her and tucks one hand in a pocket of his ripped jeans. "Does that mean we don't have the right to visit you?"

"Visit me?" she does not leave yet. "Why would you?"

"To give you a gift for Christmas," he shrugs, making me furrow my brows at him. "Is that forbidden?"

"It's not, but I don't want you to spend money on me, Dongsik," she kindly rejects his demand, and he shakes his head. "I'm going to work for a few days and earn a lot, don't be worried. That'd make me happy, and I'll cook some food just for you, you deserve it."

She smiles at him but peeks at me, before answering. "All right, you can visit me whenever you want. Jungkook will give you my address if you want it to be a surprise."

"All right, I can't wait. Enjoy your holidays as well, Miss Han," he bows back to her, and the two other boys do the same, so since we can't be seen together, I let her go first.

I press my lips together without saying anything, and I stare at her while she's walking away in her leather pants and jacket.

"Damn, are you really going to cook for her?" Jaehyun asks him. "Yes, I just need to know what she likes, but I'd like to do it. This brat doesn't know how to cook, so I'll do it," he points the finger at me, and I glare. "I can cook, I just need practice."

"Hm," he smirks. "Sure."

"Anyway," I clear my throat and look in y/n's direction but notice she left. "I'm leaving. See you," I pull my hair back, and they all answer me, so I go away and head to y/n's vehicle, but I already receive a text.

< I fckin nailed it! ]

I glare at my little brother through the screen who cannot keep his happiness to himself. Great to know he hasn't lost any brain cells to be at my level.

[ good for you >

< what? Did you fail? ]

[ chemistry and math >

< that's bad ]

< but thats ok tho, I thought you would not do good in any of them😏 ]

[ 🖕 >

< ✌ ]

[ im waiting for you in y/ns car you little shit >

< ok🥰 ]

I enter the vehicle once I'm done texting him, and I get by her sides. I remain quiet, but she turns the volume down to barely hear the music play.

"How did it go, baby?" she asks me now that we're alone, and I hand her the report. "Bad...I should have worked harder..."

"Hey, you worked as much as you could, don't say that," she takes it and checks everything while I still cannot swallow what she said to Dongsik, with her 'I'm proud of you'. "Baby, your grades are more than great, you only failed two subjects, it's okay."

"Two is already too much," I do not agree with her point of view since I know she would sugarcoat everything she says if it's directed towards me. "Hey, stop," she reaches out for my hand and slides her fingers between mine. "You did amazing, you can be proud of yourself, I am. You worked hard, and I don't want you to feel down because you did great."

"You're proud of Dongsik too..." I mumble like a kid but hear her sigh. "I'm proud of all my students, but the meaning is different for you. You know it. Out of seven subjects, you only failed two. That's nothing."

"But those are two important ones," I state what I know to be true, and I look at her, but her eyes and gaze soothe me instantly. "Every subject is important, but if you consider these two as more important, then physics and biology are very important as well, and yet, you did great in them. All right? We had a tough time, the fact that I left without saying anything also had an impact because I'm sure you could not study as much as you did when we were together. So stop putting yourself down and feel proud, we'll work hard for the next tested together, and even if you fail, it's fine."

I do not complain to not be annoying, and I close my hand around hers. "I just want to go home and cuddle."

She smiles at me. "We will. We have all the time we want to cuddle."

•••

5 pm.

"Hmmm," I stretch out, being loud on purpose to get y/n's attention. She makes eye contact with me at the sound of my moan but grins, not keeping her eyes on the TV anymore. Since I got what I wanted, I smile at her and crawl onto the cushions to inch closer and end my way with a kiss on her neck. I make it playful and then look up into her eyes, but she giggles in a soft manner. "What's happening? Do you want something?"

I do not dare to respond but bite my lips, and my hand touches her thigh under the blanket as I'm staring at her tempting lips. I've been waiting to talk about this, but I don't have the guts to do it. I'm too shy and embarrassed about what I feel.

"Tell me, baby," she tangles her fingers in my hair, but I move forth to join our lips and slide my hand up her skin, lifting the bottom of her babydoll in my movement, but her other hand touches mine and pulls it away from her underwear. "Hm," she breaks the kiss. "Tell me, or you can't touch me."

"I want to ask, but I can't..." I tell her, but she removes her fingers from my hair and rests her head on her hand. "Why is that? You know you can tell me about everything."

"Because...I'm shy..." I lick my lips, her rosy ones making me crave for them. "Ah, you're too shy to ask," she brings her feet up on the sofa, but I do not get my hand away and take this opportunity to feel her inner thigh under my touch. "Is it oral sex?"

"No, I mean, I wouldn't refuse if you want to do it, but...it's not about that, it's more," I shake my head but make her chuckle unwittingly. "You just want to have sex?"

"Yes, but not just...like usual..." I slowly get to it without giving any details, and she tries to guess it. "Is there something new you'd like to try, to experience?"

I nod. "And what is it?" she lays her hand on my thigh but raises the temperature of my body. "It's...I'm scared because...some people say that only gays like it...so...I'm scared you could not want to do it with me..."

"Hey, I don't mind trying new things with you, baby," she puts me at ease as much as she can to spur me to let it out. "And we don't care about what people say, people are dumb. Since when does an action define whether you're gay or not? And there's nothing wrong with being gay, but if you do not feel attracted to them, or do not love them, then you're straight, and your sexual preferences do not make you gay, straight or anything."

"I know...but...it's..." I nibble on my inner cheek but gaze down at her lips. "It has to be done with a toy...that I received today...that's what was in the box that you saw...it was not my personal stuff..."

"Show me if you want," she helps me to talk about it without using the words, and I stand up, I move upstairs where I hid the box, but I hurry to get it and go back to her, feeling worried but excited about it.

Once I'm back on the sofa, I place it on my lap, open it, and I move it towards her to make sure she sees what's inside without having to take it out. However, she puts her hand into it without thinking twice and gets the main object out.