chapter 11 | Hidden
"I can't talk about it..." he voice cracks into sobs, his arm still hiding his face that he doesn't want me to see. "Yes, you can. All the things you say won't leave this room, Jungeun. You can trust me."
I grab his arm in a gentle manner and bring it down, wiping his tears away. "What is happening to you? Hm?" I use the back of my hand to get rid of the tears. "Can you promise me you'll never talk about it to my brother or family...please...?" he doesn't look at me in the eyes but only at my lips. "I won't say anything. I promise you."
He sniffles and breathes in a convulsive manner, not calming down but finally deciding to let it out. "I don't know how to stop this...I'm so scared of them whenever I come to school..." he sobs in the most hurtful manner. "Who are you scared of?"
"Three guys in the class...they always hurt me and bully me because I always have good marks, and they hate me..." his facial expression tears my heart apart. "They call me an ugly nerd and always hurt me when I'm in the restroom...if I refuse to do their homework...they beat me up until I say yes..."
I gulp down but hold my emotions back in front of him. I would never have expected to hear this from him, he's so cute and kind to everyone, this can't be possible do to something so horrible to him.
"I don't want you to tell this to my brother...I don't want him to know I'm weak..." he chokes up on his words but I hold his hand in mine and stroke his skin with my thumb. This isn't the first I have to deal with this, but it still affects me, deeply. "You're not weak, Jungeun. Don't say such a thing. You're strong no matter what you think because the only weak ones in this, are the ones who hurt you. You should talk about it with your brother, I'm pretty sure he'll be there to protect—"
"No," he interrupts me with despair in his voice, his teary and red eyes now dived into mine. "Please...you promised me...My brother is like...so strong mentally and physically that he would be disappointed to know he has a brother like me...I'm ashamed of myself...I want to be like him, so I have to face this all alone and not ask for his help..." he speaks without even leaving a single hint of doubt. His thoughts are so set that I know this will be hard to make him think otherwise.
"Jungeun...I want you to know that there's no reason to be ashamed of yourself. What makes you think you're not strong? Or not as good as your brother?" I look into his eyes no matter how painful it is. "I talked to him just this morning, and he told me he wishes he were like you because he sees you as someone so much more intelligent than him that he feels stupid. You both love each other a lot and care for each other, your brother would never be ashamed or disappointed in you. When you were all alone at the bus stop, he asked me if I could come to pick you up because he always gets worried when he's not with you...he wants to be here for you...he would never want to know that you thought such a thing and let those people hurt you without asking for help when he could have been there to save you from that..."
He gazes into my eyes without saying a word, listening to me carefully. "You don't have to feel ashamed of yourself for anything. I'm always proud of you whenever you do something, you're a good and mature boy, you're strong as well, and you have the proof right now, you're talking to me about it, you're able to reveal it and face me to tell me what makes you feel so hurt and scared. You're way braver than those who hurt you."
He erases the tears from his cheeks but glances down, his breathing slowing down and going back to a normal pace. I smile at him and caress his hand. "I'm here for you, Jungeun. We can solve this together, I can go to the director and talk about it with you so we can only be the only ones aware of this. Then, those bad guys will be expelled from this school, you'll be left alone, and no one will hurt you again...but this can only happen if you let me do this with you and show them that they're not going to be able to bring you down. You're better than them, show them that you don't need to use violence to have control. You're too smart for that."
His swollen lips curve up into a crescent shape, my words offering him some cheer. "A strong boy is not the one who will use his muscles to hurt someone else and get what he wants. It's the one who will face his problems and find which solution is the best, he will ask for help when he knows he needs it, because every human needs help from others, and you know that, dealing with a problem all on your own will only hurt you even more. Why do you think they do this to you? It's only because they are weak in their heads, and they have to use violence to get what you can have with your brain only, with your kindness, which is something they don't have, and your maturity, which is also something they don't have."
"But...if my brother knows about this...he will beat them up..." he talks more about Jungkook, this boy that seems so soft but yet, has the physical appearance of a man that no one should test. "In this case...it's just the anger that will make him act on impulse because he knows that someone he loves is hurt by those boys...And..." I sigh but take the decision to let this out. "My words are going to be harsh, but Jungeun, one day, you might not be able to stand for yourself anymore. You never know if a blow is dangerous or not, one single hit could be life-threatening, and you have no idea how hurt the people who love you would be if you ever get into a state that you might not ever recover from, only because you didn't ask for help...many people love you and are here for you, let them help you and keep you out of danger whenever they're able to. And even if you don't do this for the ones who love you, do it for yourself and realize how quick this can go when your life is in danger. Your life is important, you are important, Jungeun, so do not let anyone hurt or destroy you."
"I don't know what I would do without you..." he smiles but finally shows some positivity. I'm glad to see this boy like this, it hurts me to think about what he must have gone through without saying anything. "I'll always be here for you, Jungeun. I'm a teacher, but a human too," I stroke his skin with my fingers. "Do you want to go and see the director with me?"
"I have to go out and eat with my brother..." he looks up at me but mentions Jungkook again. It's the first time I see two brothers with an age gap like theirs, not being annoyed by each other's presence at school. They're often together, and I find that more than great between siblings who usually don't want to be together when they have their friends.
"All right, you can join him, but I want to see you at the ten minutes break at two pm, okay?" I stand up and let go of his hand, and he nods to me. "I will, Miss. I'm happy to have you as a teacher..." he expresses his gratitude and rises from the chair to be at my level with his height. "I'm happy to have a student like you, Jungeun. You're the type that every teacher would want, trust me."
He gets even more affected by my words and lets his emotions get displayed by his body language.
"By the way," I move up to my handbag I left on the desk. "I grabbed something in the teachers' office," I open the zipper and take hold of the two snacks. Once I have them, I walk back to him and hand him the food. "Share this with your brother."
He takes them without refusing but grins at me. "And take care of your bruises, you can also get rid of the bloodstains with some cold water and detergent, this usually leaves easily," I give a piece of advice in case he might not know about this, but he reacts in a soft manner. "Thank you very much, Miss Han. I'll make sure to do it."
"Great, have a good lunch with your brother," I step to my hand bag to grab it with my jacket, but he stops once he's at the door. "By the way..." he gazes at me with a different look in his big eyes. "Jungkook likes you a lot...you're his favorite teacher, and he cannot stop talking about you because of how perfect you are," he softly gives me a tender beam but goes out.
Wait...
I hurry towards the door to not leave him all alone in the hallways, and as soon as I'm outside the room, I call his name. "Jungeun, wait," I halt him in his path, and to my greatest relief, he turns around. I lock the door as he's waiting, and I put my jacket on while heading towards him. "I don't want to leave you alone, I want to make sure someone is there for you."
He doesn't say a word but shows he appreciates it, I hold onto my bag and walk to the staircases with him. I'm also here to talk about what he told me a minute ago, what this means, and why he said that in a sudden.
"Does Jungkook talk about me that much?" I let it out, hoping for my question to not be misunderstood. "Yes, he does. You're his favorite teacher, mine too, but it's on another level for him. Is it okay if I give him both of the snacks though?" he slightly heaves them up and peeks at me before going down the stairs. "Why wouldn't you eat one?"
"Well, I know how happy he will be if he knows you gave this to him," he reveals more and more, making me feel like I'm not just a teacher to him. "If you eat something for lunch, then it's all right."
"I always eat something. Don't worry, Ma'am," his answer relieves me. Those two boys are so loveable it's hard to not care about them and their health. "And honestly, if you come with me to tell him you got those two snacks to make sure he eats, he will become all shy again and blush," he giggles while talking behind his brother's back in a cute manner.
"Am I that appreciated by him?" I laugh, quietly, wondering what he's trying to make me understand by all those little implying. "Yes, a lot," he nods with no second thought but opens the door, letting me go forth first. I decide to follow him towards his brother who must be waiting for him outside. I usually don't do that but after what happened with him, I just feel the need to stay close to him and be there to keep the smile he has on his face visible.
"You can give them to him," he hands the snacks to me while being all soft, seeming eager to see the reaction of his brother as if this was something serious. I take them and walk through the boys in the schoolyard, not even realizing what I'm doing right now.
We both get to the gate, but once we have the streets in sight, Jungeun points his finger at his brother who is waiting for him across us, having his eyes on his phone. He smiles at me, and we both cross the road together, but he changes of behavior in front of his brother, probably hiding what he doesn't want him to know about.
"I'm here," he speaks out and gets Jungkook's attention, but as soon as this boy raises his eyes to him, those big ones dart in my direction, and he gapes but steps back as if he was panicking. He glances at his brother but moves away from his spot as if he didn't want me to be too close, almost hiding behind his younger brother to not have me beside him.
"She's here to give you something," Jungeun tries to put him next to me, but I giggle without willing to, finding this boy adorable. "M—Miss Han..." he bites his lips but remains close to his brother. I step forward to approach this shy boy and hand him the snacks. "This is for you, you always give me something, so I want to do it in return."
"I...no need to, Miss—"
"Take them," his brother sighs and rolls his eyes, acting like the older one and making me laugh. Jungkook grabs them daintily, his long fingers avoiding mine. "Thank you," he bows to me but holds the snacks with his hands together, just like a child would do it. "Eat well and get some energy for the rest of your day, all right?" I smile at them, Jungkook acting more nervous than earlier. "Eat well too, Ma'am," Jungeun answers for them both, so I leave them alone and go back to the school.
'JUNGKOOK'S P.O.V'
My fist goes right in my brother's arm once Miss Han is out of sight. "What the fuck did you do for her to come?" I glare at him after this awkward moment, my heart still rushing mad. He laughs at me but takes his phone out. "You're so ridiculous in front of her," he walks away as if this was nothing. "What did you tell her, little jerk?" I don't let this go, still seeing Miss Han laugh at my reaction some seconds earlier.
"That you like her, and she's your favorite teacher," he tells me but makes my stress rise even higher. He did not dare. "You—" I grab his arm and step before him to stare into his eyes. "Tell me you're lying, or I kill you."
"You're lying, or I kill yo—" my hand crashing in his arm makes him chuckle at my face while I'm dying internally. If he's serious right now, it means Miss Han knows I like her and this is the end of our private lessons or little talks. I hate him so much. "I told you not to say anything, Jungeun! I'm not kidding right now!"
"Ya. She didn't react in a bad way, so chill," he takes this lightly. "If it was bad she wouldn't have been here to give you the snacks because she knew this would make you happy and shy," he states but steps aside to pass by me. Maybe he's right, dammit.
I ruffle my hair but curse under my breath while going back to him. I'm so mad at him that I don't even want to talk to him, and he will buy his sandwich with his own money, I don't care.
He doesn't say anything but only focuses on his phone, texting someone. However, something unusual catches my sight.
"Where are your glasses? You have to wear them all the time," I speak out but still let my annoyance slip through my voice. "I broke them."
"You broke them?!" I repeat but feel some fury at the sight of his indifference. "Are you kidding me? Your glasses were expensive as hell!"
"Hey," he sets his eyes on me. "It was an accident, all right?"
"And how did you break them?!" I forget to lower my voice after his answer that was way too calm to not make me go berserk. "They fell."
"Yes, sure. Glasses fell like that," I don't believe his blame excuse and huff. He doesn't care about it but walks into the Subway restaurant, followed by my sluggish steps. He turns around before we could order our food. "I don't have any money left...I need you to buy my sandwich."
"Go to hell," I throw at him and move to the checkout, once the man asks me what I'd like to order, I take two sandwiches against my will and wait. "Thanks," my little brother doesn't shut his mouth, satisfied to always get what he wants no matter what.
Why do I have to be so weak all the time? His damn cute face allows him to always have all the things he asks for, and I cannot say no to him.
In short minutes, the sandwiches get served, so I pay and take the food to walk up to a table, sit down with my brother and give him his lunch. "Savor it because it will be the last I pay for you," I state but know well I will do this again. He chuckles and grabs it.
I remove the wrapping from my food and start to eat, but I take my phone out and check my texts. "Do you have sports today?" my little asks me with food in his mouth, but I nod. "Yeah, after the lunch break"
"Okay," he doesn't say anything more, so I look up at him. "Why do you ask?"
"Just to know, because I will probably see you since I now sit next to the window," he reminds me of the fact he likes to watch me do sport to then mock me. "Good, you better keep your eyes on your work."
He laughs but puts his attention on his phone. Just from the look on his face, I know he's planning to bother me. I don't complain since it will only heighten his amusement.
A sudden loud sound echoes through the crowded room, grasping my attention away but making me realize it comes from my brother's phone. He panics and hurries to mute his phone after some female moans and wet noise left it.
I smirk but look at him. "Karma," I do not let this opportunity escape me but grab it to worsen his state or embarrassment. "Shut the fuck up," he glares at me, a few people still giving him the side-eye. He's dying from the inside, I'm sure of it. "What were you watching, little brat?"
"Nothing," he keeps his head down and doesn't leave his phone. I want to burst into laughter at this moment, but I need to keep it inside. What the hell was he watching in the middle of this restaurant with many people around us? He's way too bold.
•••
4:08 pm.
"Miss Han!" I run after her as I just rushed out of my classroom to be able to see her before the weekend. She stops herself in the middle of the hallways and gazes at me. "Again?" she giggles, but I smile and bite my lips. I love her laughter so much dammit. "Am I annoying...?"
"No, you're not, Jungkook. I'm just teasing you," she says without looking in a hurry like she usually does. I grip onto the straps of my school bag, but another voice echo through the hallways to ask for her attention.
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