Last Chapter

"Mommy! Mommy!"

Sunod-sunod na ang pagdaloy ng luha sa aking mga mata dahil sa pagtawag sa akin ng maliit na boses na iyon. Napatungo ako at  napahawak sa aking dibdib.

Why does it have to be this way?

"Summer! Lumayo ka sa lalaking iyan! " Si Caleb habang nanlilisik ang mga mata na nakatingin kay Zacharias na madilim na ang ekspresyon ng mukha nang tingalain ko ito.

"So you're playing like a sinless saint, you fucker?!" Umigting ang panga ni Zacharias. 

I quickly stood in front of him and blocked his path with tears in my eyes as he was about to walk toward Caleb. My hands trembled and my head shook weakly as I held his arm to restrain him.

"S-stop it, Zacharias..."

Bumaba ang tingin niya sa akin at nakita ko ang pagbago ng kanyang mga mata. I noticed how his eyes were filled with questions, which I'm sure I was scared to answer. Lumamlam ang mga mata niya habang hinahanap sa aking mata ang kasagutan.

"Summer... Who's that child?"

Doon na ako tuluyang nanlambot. Mahigpit na kumapit ako sa kanyang mga kamay habang humihikbi lamang sa kanyang harapan. Hindi ako makapagsalita na para bang naumid ang dila ko.

"Caleb, anong nangyayari dito- Anak!" 

Nalipat ang tingin ko sa matandang babae na nakatayo sa tabi ni Caleb na kadarating lang. Nag-aalala ang mukha nito na nakatingin sa akin. Mas napahagulgol ako ng iyak ng mapunta ang tingin ni Nanay Myrna kay Zacharias. Nanlaki ang mga mata niya. Malamang ay nakikita niya ang malaking pagkakahawig ng anak ko sa lalaki. 

"A-anak...siya ba iyon? "

My heart was pounding, and the pain was showering over me. Hindi na maampat ang luha sa mga pisngi ko at nagmamakaawang tiningnan si Nanay Myrna. 

"Nay...pakikuha po muna ang anak ko, please."

Nangilid ang luha ni Nanay Myrna. "Anak..."

Malakas na napahikbi ako. "P-pakiusap po Nanay, I...Ilayo niyo po muna dito ang bata. "

Doon na kinuha ni Nanay Myrna si Zacky mula kay Caleb. Nagpapasag na ito at malakas na umiyak. Umiiyak ang anak ko habang pilit na itinataas ang mga kamay papunta sa direksyon ko. Mas lalo akong nasaktan dahil doon. Bata pa si Zacky. Dapat hindi siya madamay sa lahat ng maling desisyon ko. Dapat ay hindi niya ito nararanasan. Kasalanan ko. I was selfish.

Tinanguan ko si Nanay. Yakap na niya si Zacky at hinahalikan ang pisngi nito para tumigil na sa kakaiyak. Malungkot na naglakad sila paalis. Naiwan kaming tatlo na nakatayo sa labas ng suite. 

My knees are trembling with fear. Hindi ako handa sa pangyayaring ito. Hindi ko lubos maisip na sa ganito pang paraan...   na sa ganito pang sitwasyon malalaman ni Zacharias ang tungkol sa anak naming dalawa.

Padaskol na hinila ni Caleb ang aking braso. Napangiwi ako dahil masakit iyon. Ang mga kuko niya ay bumbabaon sa aking manipis na balat.

"C-caleb! Nasasaktan ako! "

Galit na binalingan ako ng lalaki at kita ko ang pag-igting ng panga niya. "I've warned you so many times not to meet him! Ginawa mo naman! Sinabi ko sa'yo 'di ba?! What were you thinking! "

Tuluyan akong nahila ng lalaki papunta sa tabi niya, pero agad na naramdaman ko ang mabigat na kamay na pumalibot sa aking bewang at maingat na hinila ako palayo kay Caleb. Napahawak ako sa malawak na dibdib ni Zacharias dahil doon.

"Don't you fucking touch her! Kung ayaw mo na basagin ko 'yang pagmumukha mo. " Zacharias uttered dangerously. 

 Tumambol ng husto ang aking dibdib habang mahigpit na hawak niya ang aking bewang. I know that he will do it. Ayaw ko na magkasakitan silang dalawa lalo na ng dahil sa akin.

"Iniwan mo si Sam sa mga panahong kailangan ka niya! You left her! "sigaw ni Caleb sa lalaki at dinuro ito.

Zacharias' face darkened, and he made a fist with his hand. He clenched his teeth and had a wave of anger and frustration in his eyes. Pati ako ay nanginig dahil sa galit na ipinapakita niya. He was beyond furious.

Hilam ng luha ang aking mukha na nilingon si Caleb. Pinili ko na alisin ang kamay niya na nakahawak pa sa akin. 

Bumakas ang gulat sa mukha niya dahil sa ginawa ko. "S-sam, "

Marahang umiling ako sa kaniya at humihikbing nagsalita. "Tama na muna, Caleb."

Hindi makapaniwalang tiningnan niya ako at ang pagbakas ng sakit sa kanyang mukha. 

"S-sam, hindi ba sinabi ko sa'yo na hintayin mo lang ako? What the hell is this? Anong nakain mo at kasama mo na naman siya?! " 

Agad na iniwas ko ang tingin sa mukha niya. "I-It's not like that..."

What makes you think she'd be willing to wait for you? Sam is capable of making rational decisions on her own. Hindi mo siya pag-aari. "

Mas lalong bumangis ng mukha ni Caleb at humakbang papalapit kay Zacharias. Magkatapat ang kanilang mga mukha. 

"Anong sinabi mo?"

"She'll never love someone as sick as you."

"Tangina mo ah!"

"Zacharias! Caleb tama na! " Umiiyak na sigaw ko at agad na dinaluhan si Zacharias na natumba sa sahig. Hindi nito inaasahan ang pagsuntok ni Caleb sa kaniya. Napahawak ito sa nasaktang pisngi bago madilim na ngumisi. 

His expression darkened, and it was dangerous. Mas dumoble ang kaba ko dahil sa pagngisi niyang iyon.

"You're just a lonely piece of shit."

Tumayo si Zacharias saka mabigat na sinuntok si Caleb sa mukha. Agad na iniharang ko na ang sarili ko sa pagitan nilang dalawa. Sumigid ang sakit sa dibdib ko at nanginig ang mga labi ko. Pumikit ako ng mariin bago malakas na sumigaw.

"TAMA NA! "

Parehas silang natigilan dahil sa malakas na pagsigaw ko. Umalingawngaw ang malakas na boses ko sa hallway ng hotel floor.  Ang mabibigat nilang paghinga ang maririnig sa paligid at ang malakas na paghikbi ko. 

Nakayuko ako habang hawak ang dibdib ko dahil sa sobrang sakit nito. Sunod-sunod ang mga luha na parang walang katapusan. I then gave them both a frustrated look.

"T-tama na... Tama na!"

"S-sam..." Pilit akong inabot ni Zacharias pero agad na umiwas ako sa kaniya. Ganoon din ang ginawa ko kay Caleb, umiiling na lumayo sa dalawa.

"Tangina," napahilamos ako saaking mukha gamit ang kamay ko at nanghihinang tumingin sa kanilang dalawa, "Tangina niyo! Sinabi ko ng tama na 'di ba?! Can't you fucking act like a decent adult? Lahat nalang ba idinadaan niyo sa dahas! "

Parehas silang natahimik at nakatingin lang sa akin habang tumutulo pa din ang mga luha sa aking pisngi. Hindi ko alam na aabot sa ganito! 

Galit na tiningnan ko si Caleb. "How can you act like this? Abogado ka, Caleb! You're the one who started it. Alam mong ayaw ko ng may nagkakasakitan! "

"Summer, gusto lang naman kitang protektahan-"

Nangunot ang noo ko dahil sa sinabi niya. "Why? Do you think I can't protect myself this time? Is that it? Do you think I'm still frail and foolish? Na kailangan ko ng lalaking magpo-protekta sa akin? Ganoon ba?"

As he brushed his hair backwards with his hands, I saw his face become disappointed. Malungkot ang mga mata niya na nakatingin sa akin. 

"Summer, lolokohin ka niya ulit. Sasaktan ka lang niya ulit katulad ng dati. Ayaw lang kitang masaktan. I don't want you to make the same mistake you made! "

"Ako! Ako ang magdedesisyon para sa sarili ko! Hindi ikaw at lalong hindi ni isa sa inyo!" I cried out. "I am solely responsible for my own feelings and emotions. Hindi niyo ako pwedeng diktahan. I am in the right sound and mind! "

Umiiyak na tiningala ko siya at nabasa ko ang mga sumabog na emosyon mula sa mga mata niya. Zacharias came up next to me and wiped my tears away.

Napapikit ako dahil doon habang ramdam ang pagsakit ng aking dibdib.

He then turned to face Caleb, with anger visible on his face. "If you don't tell the truth to Sam, I will. Sabihin mo ang mga ginawa mo. Tell her what the fuck you did, you sick fucker! "

Napahinto ako dahil sa sinabi ni Zacharias at naguguluhan na tiningnan ang lalaki. "Ano ang sinasabi mo...Zacharias?"

Agad na napatingin ako muli kay Caleb at nakita ko ang pagkailap ng mga mata nito mula sa akin. Nakita ko na hindi na ito mapakali sa kanyang kinatatayuan.

Nanginig ang boses ko. "C-caleb, what is he talking about? "

Napabuntong-hininga ang lalaki at hindi man lang makatingin sa mga mata ko. Kinabahan na ako ng sobra dahil doon. I gritted my teeth. "Caleb, what the fuck is happening?!"

"S-sam..." Tanging nasambit niya bago napatingala na parang pinipigilan nito ang sarili na maluha. Hindi ko naiintindihan kung bakit ganito ang inaakto ng lalaki.

"He was Cynthia's defense lawyer. He was the one who defended her in court during the trial. " Zacharias said. "He knows everything and has kept it hidden from you from the start, Sam."

My eyes widen in shock because of what Zacharias had said. The pain started to creep inside my heart once again. I looked at Caleb with so much disbelief. My eyes started to water again and I couldn't help but ask him for answers. 

"W...what?"

He had regret and fear in his eyes. "Sam, h-hindi ko sinasadya-"

"A-alam mo? Alam mo ang mga nangyari? " Nanginig ang buong katawan ko. Bumigat ang aking paghinga kasabay nito ay ang muling panghihina ng aking mga paa na parang nawalan ito ng lakas.

I already knew his answer the moment he turned away from me. Dahan-dahang inalis ko ang pagkakahawak ni Zacharias. Tulala na tiningnan ko siya at pinalis ang kamay niya na nasa bewang ko.

"Summer..."

"B-bitawan mo muna ako." 

He looked hesitant at first, but then he let me go. Doon ko na ibinalik ang tingin ko sa lalaking pinagkatiwalaan ko ng ilang taon na ngayon ay isa lang din pala sa niloko ako. 

"Caleb, sagutin mo ang tanong ko. Alam mo ba? Lahat? " My voice was weak.

Naglakad ako papalapit sa lalaki hanggang sa magkaharap na kami. Nakita ko ang pagngilid ng luha sa mga mata niya. Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko at malakas na sinampal siya.

 "Tangina! Alam mo! Alam mo Caleb! "

Umiiyak na hinahampas ko ang dibdib ng lalaki sa sobrang galit na lumukob sa akin. Hindi ako makapaniwala na alam niya ang lahat ng nangyari, pero itinago niya iyon sa akin! At siya pa ang tumayong abogado ng babaeng sumira ng buhay ko! Ipinagtanggol niya pa sa korte ang babaeng naging rason kung bakit ako nawalan ng pamilya! Kung bakit ako nagdusa ng ilang taon! 

Alam niya... Alam niya kung gaano ko kagustong makamit ang hustisya para sa pamilya ko, pero bakit niya ako nagawang traydurin ng ganito.

Hinawakan ni Caleb ang magkabilang balikat ko at bakas sa kanyang mukha ang pagsisisi at takot. 

"Sam, ayoko lang naman na b-bumalik ka sa kaniya. Alam ko na kung mananalo ang kaso na isinampa niya ay patatawarin mo siya at babalik ka sa kaniya. " He said, his voice shaking. "Okay naman na tayo 'di ba? Masaya si Zacky na ako ang ama niya. We're comfortable with each other. O-okay tayo. We're okay in California. "

Marahas na umiling ako sa kaniya. "Pinagkatiwalaan kita. Ginawa pa kitang parang ama ng anak ko. Tinanggap kita sa buhay ko kahit alam kong natatakot pa akong buksan muli ang sarili ko sa mundo pero ginago mo ako."

I laughed bitterly. "Pinaikot mo ako sa palad mo. M-masaya ba?! Masaya ka ba na nasasaktan ako ng ganito!? "

"Sam, huwag naman ganito. Alam mong mahal kita. " nanginig ang boses niya pero ang tanging  nakikita ko sa kaniya ay ang larawan ng lalaking akala ko ay totoo sa akin. Akala ko ay totoo ko siyang kaibigan. 

"Ginawa ko lang 'yon dahil mahal kita, Sam. " Humigpit ang hawak niya sa akin. "I've loved you for so long that I am willing to do everything for you to be mine. "

Umiling ako sa kaniya at niyakap ko ang sarili ko habang malakas na humihikbi. 

"K-kung mahal mo talaga ako, hindi mo dapat ginawa sa akin iyon. Sinubukan ko. Sinubukan kong mahalin ka pero alam mo....alam mo kung sino pa din talaga. " I spitefully looked at him. "Where did your moral principles go? Anong klaseng abogado ka?! " 

"Summer, I... I did what I thought was right, dahil mahal kita. " mahinang sambit niya at akmang hahawakan niya ako pero agad na humakbang ako paatras mula sa kaniya. Isa din siya sa mga taong tinraydor ako.

"Kailan pa... kailan mo pa itinago sa akin ang lahat?" I want to know... kung kailan niya pa ako sinasaksak patalikod.

Nanghina ang mata niya. "S-sam."

"Tangina! Sumagot ka! " I screamed as I pushed him away. 

"I...I knew before I even met you again after all these years. I am Cynthia's lawyer. I worked for her. "

"Hayop ka! Hayop! " I couldn't help but hit him repeatedly on his chest while I was crying loudly. It pains me... It pains me to know that he fooled me from the beginning.

Naramdaman ko ang pagpigil sa akin ni Zacharias sa bewang ko para ilayo sa lalaki na nakayuko lang. 

"I don't want to see you anymore. You're sick! Nakakasuka ka! You didn't even give justice to my grief when I lost my family! "

Nakita ko ang pagkagulat sa mukha ng lalaki at ang pagtakas ng luha sa mga mata niya. 

"S-Sam, pinagsisihan ko na iyon. I knew it was wrong. Ayaw lang naman kitang mawala sa akin. Please... please don't do this.  "

I cried in front of him, but all I felt was the burning sensation of pain in my chest. I tried my best to treat him well. Pinagkatiwalaan ko dahil mabait siya sa akin, lalo na kay Zacky na tinuring ng ama ang lalaki. Pero sa ngayon ay hindi ko pa yata siya kayang patawarin. I... I can't.

"Hindi ko kaya... I can't. Umalis ka na! "

Lumuhod ito sa harapan ko at niyakap ang aking binti. Ang kanyang mukha ay hilam ng luha at magulo ang kanyang buhok. It breaks my heart to know that our friendship will come to an end like this. 

"Umalis ka na, Caleb. Don't make me hate you more. "

Nakayuko na ito at ang mahihinang paghikbi niya ang narinig ko. Lumuwang ang pagkakapit niya sa binti ko hanggang sa kusa niyang binitawan.

Umiiyak na tumayo ang lalaki at tumango. Pumihit ako patalikod sa lalaki. Narinig ko nalang ang mabibigat na hakbang nito paalis.

Sobrang bigat ng pakiramdam ko at maging ang mga mata ko ay masakit na din dahil sa labis ko na pag-iyak. Hindi ko na kaya pang harapin sila. Pagod na ako. Pagod na ang mga mata ko sa kakaiyak at ang dibdib ko dahil sa sakit. 

Akala ko ay kapag malalaman ko ang katotohanan ay mapapalaya ko na ang sarili ko sa lahat ng sakit, pero bakit mas lalo pa atang lumalim? Bakit mas lalo pa yata akong nailuklok sa dilim?

"Sam..."

Mapait na ngumiti ako sa lalaki. Ngayon ay kailangan ko namang harapin ang pag-amin sa kaniya patungkol kay Zacky. My heart clenched as I remembered my son's face. In times of pain, he was my safest haven, and the thought of having to share him with someone who was an exact replica of him was too much for me.

I wiped the tears from my eyes once more. Ngunit narito na ngayon ang lalaki at nakikita ko sa mga mata niya na naghahanap siya ng kasagutan na mula sa akin. Magsisinungaling lang ako kung hindi ko pa aaminin sa kaniya na anak niya si Zacky. 

Whatever he had done to me in the past, both of us suffered enough. We were both broken and pained by what had happened.  He was still the father of my child, and no one could change that.

"Hmm?"

Mapungay ang mga mata niyang tumingin sa akin. Napalunok siya ng ilang beses bago ibinuka ang bibig. "S-sino ang...ama ng bata?"

Tumambol muli ang puso ko sa kaba at tumulo ang aking luha. I tried to move away from him, but he clutched my arms. I could feel the coldness of his hand against my warm skin. Umiiyak na tiningala ko muli ang lalaki. 

"H-he was... yours."

Nakita ko ang bahagyang pag-awang ng kanyang mga labi dahil sa narinig. Hindi ko na napigilan ang paglabas ng emosyon na pinilit kong ikinubli sa loob ng dalawang taon. 

Tumingala ang lalaki sandali at nang ibalik sa akin ang kanyang mga tingin ay dumadaloy na ang luha sa kanyang mga mata. Puno ng saya ang kulay kastanyo niyang mga mata habang nakatingin sa akin. He's happy.

"He's our child? I-I got you pregnant? " I saw him gulp. "Akin siya?"

Tumango ako sa lalaki. Mas lalo akong naiyak nang hapitin niya ako ng mahigpit na yakap at ipinalibot niya ang matitipunong braso niya paikot sa aking katawan. Malakas na napaiyak ako sa kanyang dibdib. Doon ko ibinuhos ang ilang taon kong ikinikimkim na sakit.

Naguluhan ako sa reaksyon niya. "W-why? Why are you not mad? "

"W-why will I be mad? I have never been so happy knowing that the love we had blossomed into a blessing, Sam... Bakit ako magagalit sa'yo? I am p-proud of you... nakaya mo kahit mag-isa ka. "

Naramdaman ko ang pagsigid ng pagsisisi sa loob ko.  Ayokong malaman niya ang patungkol kay Zacky dahil natatakot ako na kunin niya ang bata sa akin. For the past two years, I've been completely reliant on my son, and I couldn't bear him being away from me.

"N-Natakot ako, Zacharias..."I gulped, "Natatakot ako na baka ay ilayo mo siya mula sa akin."

"I-I understood where this fear is coming from. Sam, that's my son and yours too. I will never take him away from you. " Paos na saad ng lalaki at mas hinigpitan ang pagyakap sa akin.

 Naramdaman ko ang panginginig ng kanyang katawan. Umiiyak din siya.

"I-I'm sorry for only telling you now, sa ganitong paraan pa. "

I could feel his hand gently caressing my hair, and when he kissed the top of my head, I closed my eyes. Mas lalo akong naiyak dahil doon. "I-I'm sorry, Sam. Patawarin mo ako. "

"Zacharias..."

Sinubukan kong humiwalay sa kaniya ng yakap, pero hindi niya ako hinayaan. Narinig ko na ang paglakas ng hikbi niya. 

"Sam, I'll do better. I'll be a better father to our child and a better man for you. Allow me another chance to prove myself. To prove that I deserve you. "

Lumamlam ang mga mata niya. "Gusto kong maging karapat-dapat na lalaki para sa'yo, Sam. "

"Zacharias, hindi mo alam ang pinagdaanan ko." Puno ng sakit na saad ko sa kaniya. His body shook, and I could feel it. Knowing that we were both suffering in the same way makes my heart hurt even more.

He caressed my back as I felt the gushing pain penetrate my whole body. Muling bumagsak ang mga luha sa aking pisngi. "Shh... I-I regret not being there all along. I'm sorry you had to go through it alone. "

"Zacharias, while carrying our baby inside of me, I was diagnosed with PTSD and postpartum depression. " pag-amin ko sa lalaki. I couldn't hide it forever because, either way, he would know.

Naramdaman ko na bahagyang natigilan siya pagkatapos ay dahan-dahang humiwalay sa akin. Namumula ang mga mata niya dahil sa pag-iyak at ang pagbakas ng sakit sa mukha nito dahil sa sinabi ko.

"What?"

Humihikbing kumapit ako sa braso niya at sinalubong ang kanyang mga mata. 

"Hindi ko nakayanan ang pag-iwan niyong lahat sa akin. I lost myself.... when you all left me alone. " kasunod noon ang malalakas na hikbi na umalpas sa bibig ko. "I-I even tried to kill him, Zacharias. I tried to kill my own child... with my own hand. I failed as a mother. "

Tumulo ang luha sa kanyang pisngi at ang pag-iwas nito ng tingin sa akin bago ako muling kinabig papunta sa kanyang dibdib. "I-I'm sorry...It's my fault. Kasalanan ko, Sam. I'm sorry," paulit-ulit na sambit niya sa akin at hinalikan niya ang noo ko.

"I almost killed myself. I was about to give up... Ginusto ko na din sumunod nalang sa mga magulang ko dahil sobrang sakit na. Sa sobrang sakit, namanhid ako. Nawalan ako ng gana na mabuhay. "

Umalpas ang malakas na hikbi sa kaniya at ang paghigpit ng yakap ng lalaki sa akin. "Sam, hindi... Ayokong ang sarili mo ang saktan mo. You don't deserve all the pain. I-I was the one to be blamed for all of this... hindi dapat ikaw. "

Hindi ko napigilan na hampasin ang dibdib niya sa sobrang sakit na nararamdaman ko sa loob. "Iniwan mo ako! Iniwan mo akong nag-iisa! I was carrying a baby. How would we be able to survive in such a cruel world? Ginusto ko noon na mawala ang bata dahil sa tuwing nakikita ko siya ay ang ginawa mo sa akin ang naaalala ko. You have no idea how horribly painful it was for me. You'll never know! "

"I'd never forgive myself if I'd lost you as well, Sam. Patawarin mo ako. Mahal na mahal kita. Hindi na... Hinding-hindi na kita iiwan. Hindi na. " He muttered between his cries.

"I... I was alone... fucking alone."

Iniangat niya ang mukha ko at tinitigan iyon ng mariin habang tumutulo ang luha sa kanyang pisngi. "You will never be alone in this life... ever again because I will be with you."

I spoke the words that were still etched in my heart with tears in my eyes. I'm tired of lying to myself. I'll do what my heart desires... that after all those years, it is still him. 

"Mahal pa din kita, Zacharias. Kahit pilit ko nang ibinabaon sa loob ko.  "

I closed my eyes when he kissed me on the lips. I could feel my heart pounding erratically and I felt a sense of comfort that I was yearning for. 

Tumulo ang luha sa mga mata ko at naramdaman ko ang pagmamahal niya sa halik na iyon. My heart felt heavy, but it was blissful.

I know that time will heal my wounds, and when that time comes, I will be free of all the pain I've felt.

I opened my eyes when we moved away from each other. The intensity of his eyes filled the void that I had inside my heart... but I know I need time. We both need time, to heal.

"Zacharias,"

His eyes were puffy and tears were still visible on them but he still managed to give me a smile. "Hmm?"

Napayuko ako at tiningnan siya muli. "J-just give me time... to accept everything. It was too much. "

Nakita ko ang pagpungay ng mga mata niya at hinawi niya ang aking buhok palayo sa aking mukha. His eyes were filled with emotions that were also the same as mine. 

He cupped my face and went down to press our foreheads together. I closed my eyes.

"Is... is that what you needed? "

Marahang tumango ako at humikbi. "Hayaan mo muna akong ipagdamot ko siya."

I opened my eyes and he pulled me closer to him. "I will respect your decision. I'll wait for both of you, but after that, I do not intend to let you go. "

I felt the loud banging of my heart inside my chest as he was saying those words. Napatango ako at napangiti sa lalaki. All the pain that we've been through was enough. 

"Thank you for understanding my pain, Zacharias."

Ngumiti muli ang lalaki at nakita ko kung paano muling nangilid ang luha sa kanyang mga mata habang nakatingin sa akin. He shook his head towards me.

"No, Sam. Thank you f-for fighting, " he swallowed hard. "Thank you for choosing to live... Thank you for giving me the chance to love you with all I have again. "

Napapikit ako ng mariin ng yakapin niya muli ako ng mahigpit habang nanginginig ang kanyang katawan. I smiled and gently caressed his back. "Shh,"

"Y-you've done well, Summer. I'm so proud of how strong you were. I love you... with every single piece of me. " 

The words struck me and caused my lips to quiver. It darted towards my heart and those words of affirmation felt wonderful. 

I can feel my head getting light as my heart was getting full... we'll take our own pace and when the time comes for me to face another chapter with him, I promise to pour out all of the love I have left inside of me. For him... and for Zacharael.

I took time for myself. Pinili ko ang sarili ko sa pagkakataong ito. Mahirap, pero gusto ko na ako muna.

I choose to do that to be able to heal from the painful past I had. Hindi naging madali dahil malalim ang sugat . I want to be kind to myself because I deserve it. I still love Zacharias, but a part of me wants to be healed first. I don't want to rush things between us. We both took our time so that we could avoid hurting each other.

Naghintay siya. Pinabayaan niya akong unahin muna ang sarili ko.

***

" Ma'am malakas na po ang ulan sa labas. Hindi pa po ba tayo tutuloy sa entrance?"

I didn't answer the Uber driver because my eyes were still glued to the man who was now being shoved away by the hotel staff in the main entrance. My gaze fell upon his hands; he was holding a steel three-tier lunchbox and a bouquet of flowers in his hand. I saw him trying to place it on the hand of the staff member and was saying something to him, but I saw the guard shaking his head.

Nabitawan nito ang hawak na bulaklak at nahulog sa basang daan. Nakita ko kung paano nito agad na hinubad ang suot na tuxedo saka ibinalot niya sa hawak niyang lunchbox. The rain is heavily pouring right now, and I don't think it will stop anytime soon.

My heart tightened as he ignored the pouring rain and instead got up to get the boquet, which was now clearly soaked. Pilit na ipinasok niya ito sa loob ng tuxedo para siguro ay hindi pa mabasa. Walang pakialam ang lalaki na siya na mismo ang nababasa dahil sa bigat na buhos ng ulan.

Why is he just staying in the pouring rain?

I averted my gaze as the pain in my chest became too much for me to bear. He's been doing this for months now.

I knew deep down that I still loved him; I really did, as I was still trying to recover from everything. He understood it and didn't force me to talk to him or see our child. He was just going here. He stayed in the lobby and just gave me a glance, and then he would leave immediately and ask the staff to give me that lunch box every single day. Hindi pumapalya iyon sa ilang buwan kong nanatili sa Malaya Hotel.

I glanced back at him and I saw how he was still standing in the pouring rain. Kita ko kung paano niya takpan ang mga dala niya kanina. Maybe he started to wonder why the staff didn't accept the things he wanted to give me, unlike before. Sinabihan ko kasi ang mga ito na hindi na ako tatanggap ng kahit ano.

I blinked a couple of times before looking at the Uber driver. " Manong, pakihatid na po ako sa entrance."

Nakita ko ang marahang pagtango nito bago muling pinaandar ang sasakyan. Nang huminto kami sa tapat ay nakita ko si Zacharias na tumingin sa taxi kung nasaan ako. Before getting my belongings and my umbrella, I took a deep breath. I slid the door open softly. Nang makalabas na ako ay nakita ko na agad na nabuhayan ng loob ang mukha niya.

" B-bakit hindi ka sumilong?!" Malakas na tanong ko sa lalaki na nakatingin lang sa akin. I immediately shared my umbrella with him. Nakita ko ang pagsabog ng sari-saring emosyon sa mga mata niya habang nakatitig sa akin.

My gaze fell to his drenched clothing. Pati ang suot niyang sapatos ay basa na din sa ulan.

" S-sam... I just want to give you this." Mahinang usal ni Zacharias bago inilabas sa tuxedo na hawak ang lunch box at boquet ng bulaklak. I just stared into them for a moment before returning my eyes to him. Because I didn't say anything, his eyes became worried.

" I-I'm sorry, Sam. I-Ipapaiwan ko ulit sana gaya last week pero hindi na nila tinatanggap. Bawal na yata ipaiwan." nangangatal na boses na sambit niya marahil ay dahil sa lamig. He smiled as he took my hand in his and placed the steel lunchbox there. Lumabas ang biloy sa pisngi niya. " I cooked your favorite, Sinigang. S-sana mainit pa. Medyo nabasa kasi ng ulan-"

"I was the one who told them to not accept anything from you. " Diretsang saad ko na pumutol sa sasabihin niya. Nakita ko agad ang pagbalatay ng takot at pangamba sa mukha ni Zacharias.

"Bakit? A-am I invading your space? I promise to not go anywhere in this lobby anymore, Sam. Kung ayaw mo akong makita, okay lang sa akin. I'll respect whatever you say. " Sunod-sunod na sambit niya na nakapagpatigil sa akin. I could see the fear in his eyes as he was looking at me. " Pangit ba ang lasa ng luto ko? I'm sorry. I'll try harder next time to suit your taste. A-anong problema, Sam?"

I sighed heavily. " B-babalik kami sa California."

He froze after he heard what I said. I immediately saw his pained expression. He bit his lower lip while lowering his head. can't tell what he's thinking right now because I can't see his face.

I just stood there quietly while looking at him. He was holding his tux and had the bouquet. Baka nilalamig na siya.

"I'll lend you a towel and a shirt. Sumunod ka sa akin." Saad ko sa lalaki na umangat ang mukha. Kita ko ang pagtataka mula doon.

" H-ha?"

Agad na tinalikuran ko ang lalaki at nagsimulang maglakad papasok sa entrance ng hotel. Seconds later, I hear his footsteps behind me. He's following me now. I pressed the button on my suite's floor, and we both fell silent. I could feel his eyes darting towards me even though he was standing far away.

I tried not to look at him and instead concentrate on the elevator door, but it was hard. When our gazes locked, my heart began to race. He was also staring at me intensely, something I didn't realize. Tumutulo pa ang tubig sa kanyang basang buhok. I smiled at him, which caused his eyes to change. Pumungay ang mga iyon habang nakatitig sa akin.

I immediately stepped out and walked towards the direction of the suite. Nauuna akong maglakad sa kaniya dahil naririnig ko ang mabigat niyang mga yabag sa likuran ko. I'm sure he's freezing now. The aircon in the hallways was also intense. Baka magkasakit pa siya.

Agadn na iti-nap ko ang card sa harapan ng pintuan bago binalingan siya. "Just wait for me here."

Nakita ko ang magaan niyang pagtango. Papasok na sana ako sa loob nang pigilan niya ang kamay ko at inilagay doon ang bouquet ng pulang rosas na nabasa din ng ulan kanina. It was a combination of red, white, and pink tulips. It was too beautiful, even though it was wet.

"I-it's for you."

Tiningnan ko iyon bago marahang tumango. I looked back at him and smiled. "Thank you, Zacharias."

He remained silent and stared at me as he moved away. I immediately opened the door wide, only to be startled to see my baby Zacky wandering around with his walker. Natigilan ako nang makita ang anak ko na nakatayo habang nasa loob ng walker na may gulong. Zacky laughed loudly as he extended his hands into the air and opened and closed them.

" M-Mommy! Mommy! " Bibong usal into na nakapagpangiti sa akin. Masayang pumalakpak ang bata habang tuwang-tuwa na ipinapadyak din ang paa. My baby is happy to see me.

Nakarinig ako ng malakas na pagsinghap sa likuran ko kaya natigilan ako doon. I gulped before I went down and kissed Zacky's cheeks and then looked at Zacharias. My heart clenched inside of me when I saw the look he had in his eyes.

He was staring straight at Zacky, who was now baby-talking with his hands over his lips. I could see the love in his eyes while looking at our two-year-old son, who was looking at him while laughing.

Ngayon lang siya nakalapit ng ganito sa anak namin pagkatapos kong sabihin sa kaniya ang totoo. He kept to his word and let me keep Zacky until I was ready.

Parang may bumara sa lalamunan ko nang makita ang nagbabadyang luha sa mga mata ni Zacharias. Namumula na ang mga mata niya habang napapalunok ng mariin. His eyes were fixed on Zacharael before he blinked and looked at me. I lowered my gaze before looking at Zacky.

"Baby, t-that's... ahm... Mommy's friend."

Nakita ko ang pagpaling ng ulo ni Zacky bago muling tumingin ang kulay kastanyo nitong mga mata sa direksyon ni Zacharias. Nagulat ako nang magsalita ang anak ko.

"Nah! Nah!" Usal nito na may malakas na pag-iling saka pumalakpak. " D-Daddy! Daddy!"

Nanlalaki ang mga mata na tinakpan ko ang bibig ni Zacky at napapikit ng mariin. Shit.

" D-daddy?"

Narinig ko ang pagkagulat sa boses ni Zacharias bago bumaling muli ang tingin sa akin. Nag-iwas lang ako ng tingin bago kinuha si Zacharael paalis sa walker saka pinigilan ang kamay nito na pilit inaabot ang lalaki. Nagpapasag na ito sa hawak ko ngayon.

" W-wait here."

Agad na isinara ko ang pintuan habang malakas ang kabog ng aking dibdib. Nakita ko naman agad si Nanay Myrna na kakalabas sa kusina habang may hawak na milk bottle.

" Oh! Nariyan ka na pala, Anak." Bumaba ang mata nito sa kabilang kamay ko na may hawak na lunchbox at bulaklak. " Oh? Kay Zacharias na naman?"

Balisang tiningnan ko si Nanay Myrna bago tumingin sa pintuan. Nilapitan ko pa siya. " N-Nay, nasa labas po si Zacharias. T-tinawag ni Zacky na Daddy ang lalaki. " Napakagat ako sa aking ibabang labi dahil sa kaba.

Naiiling na nilapitan ako ni Nanay Myrna habang may ngiti sa labi. " Nako! Hindi ko na iyan kasalanan, Anak. Ikaw kasi! Bakit mo laging ipinapakita sa batang 'yan yung larawan niyong dalawa ni Zacharias na nasa photobook mo? "

"Nay! Ba't niyo alam 'yan?"

Mahinang natawa si Nanay Myrna bago kinuha si Zacky mula sa akin. Nakita ko ang pang-aasar sa mga mata niya. " Aysus! Gabi-gabi mo ngang ipinapakita kay Zacky iyon. Itinuturo mo pa nga ang picture ng lalaki tapos sinasabi mong ' It's Daddy!'" Paggaya nito sa sinabi ko.

"Nay Myrna!" Nag-iinit ang pisngi na usal ko sa kaniya na napangiti nalang. Oh, my God! Did she really see me these past few months trying to teach Zacky the word "Daddy" every night? Nakakahiya!

Umiwas nalang ako ng tingin sa kaniya at inilapag sa mesa ang mga dala. Dali-daling naglakad ako papunta sa kwarto para kumuha ng tuwalya at malinis na damit. Minamata pa din ako ni Nanay Myrna nang lumabas ako sa kwarto at naglakad papunta sa pintuan.

"Heto ang tuwalya- Anong ginagawa mo?!"

Natigilan ako nang makita ang lalaki na nakaluhod sa sahig. Nakatalungko ang ulo nito habang ang mga kamay ay nakasayad sa carpet ng hallway. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. Bakit siya nakaluhod sa harapan ko?

Natatarantang hinawakan ko ang balikat niya. "Zacharias! T-tumayo ka riyan! Anong ginagawa mo?"

Hindi siya sumagot pero nakita ko ang panginginig ng balikat niya. I was shocked when I heard his loud sobbing and raised his head to look at me. Nanikip ang dibdib ko nang makita ang mukha niya na hilam ng luha.

I felt the coldness of his hand as he reached for mine, which was on his shoulder. Nanginig ang labi niya habang nakatingala sa akin habang nakaluhod sa harapan ko.

"Sam... I-I'm sorry." He cried while his shoulders were shaking. "I-I'll be good... Gagawin ko lahat. I'm sorry for hurting you before. I'm sorry for leaving you without a proper explanation. Humihingi ako ng tawad sa lahat ng sakit na naidulot ko sa'yo. " Lumuluhang anas niya habang hawak ng mariin ang kamay ko.

Nag-init ang sulok ng mga mata ko habang nakatanaw sa umiiyak na lalaki. " Z-zacharias..."

"I understand that what I did left a deep scar on you, and that I was to blame for everything that has happened. W-wala kang kasalanan , Sam. I-I'm sorry... I'm sorry." He sobbed and moved closer to clutching my shaky knees. Hindi ko na namalayan na tumutulo na ang mga luha sa pisngi ko habang nakatingin sa mukha niya.

My lips trembled as I looked at him, crying on his knees. Nakita ko ang pagbalatay ng sakit at pangungulila sa mga mata niya.

" I-I can't... I can't afford to lose you again, Sam. P-please... please don't leave. H-huwag kayong umalis. I-I'll be good... I promise. Even if you decide that you don't want me anymore, I'll respect that. I wanted you to be healed and free from the pain. Your mental well-being was important to me. "

Nanatili akong tahimik habang umiiyak. I still have feelings for him. I know I do. Sa ilang buwan niyang pabalik-balik dito ay nakikita ko ang sinseridad sa mga mata niya. Hindi siya nagrereklamo sa tuwing iniiwasan ko siya o hindi ko siya kinakausap. Araw-araw na dinadalhan niya ako ng pagkain kahit pa kita ko ang pagod sa mga mata niya.

I heard him say "sorry" to me numerous times as he embraced me tightly. This was not the first time he had pleaded for forgiveness on his knees. Hind ko na mabilang kung pang-ilang beses na ito.

I was scarred by what had happened before, but I couldn't deny that he was in pain as well. We were both stuck in a situation that neither of us wanted to be in. I also don't want to invalidate the feelings that he had.

"I can't live without seeing you again. " As he begged at me, Zacharias hugged my legs even more. I could hear the agony and yearning in his voice as he was crying loudly. 

"I'll not wish that you would accept me again. I just wish that, even from afar, I can see... both the woman I love and my baby. K-kahit tingin lang, Sam. Tingin lang sa mag-ina ko. That was beyond enough for me. Wala na akong hihilingin pa. I-I just want to see you both...happy. K-kahit hindi na ako kasali."

Sure, we've made decisions in our lives that have led us to this point, but I don't want to be imprisoned in the past anymore. I want to finally let that go and move on with my life. I've already forgiven him. Who am I to withhold forgiveness from someone who has truly asked for it?

I went down to make our faces closer. I smiled and touched his cheeks softly. He was still crying. How could I not love him the second time around if he was always there, proving himself to me these past months?

I loved him even more upon learning the truth. Nalaman ko ang totoo na siya pala ang nagme-maintain ng bahay namin sa loob ng dalawang taon na wala ako dito. He was also the one who remodeled it and employed those housemaids, whom I assumed Olive and Dawn had hired. 

I learned all of this from Roa. His best friend. Unlike him, madaldal iyon eh. Zacharias didn't know I already knew. Binalaan ako ni Roa na huwag ko daw sabihin na siya ang nagkwento dahil sigurado daw na bubugbugin siya ni Zacharias dahil ayaw ng lalaki na malaman ko ang tungkol doon.

" I've already forgiven you."

Zacharias looked at me with a confused expression. " P-pero bakit ka aalis? "

"I need to clear off all of my unfinished business in California, and we'll be here for good," I said calmly.

Nakita ko ang pag-ahon ng pag-asa sa mga mata niya. " T-talaga?"

I gave him a nod and looked into his hazel brown eyes. This was the same pair of eyes that had been looking at me with need and adoration. This was the identical pair of eyes that I have in my life right now, our son.

I understand that in order to let go of the past, I must forgive myself and I did.

I am finally healed.

Napatawad ko na ang sarili ko sa lahat ng nangyari at sakit ng nakaraan.

I forgave myself. The pain that I'd been feeling was being lifted off of my chest, and I can now breathe freely, free from guilt. I accepted the fact that some things just happened, but they will never leave without a lesson to give. It molded me into the person I am today and allowed me to become a mother to one of the best gifts I have ever received... Zacky.

I can't imagine what would happen if I didn't hear his tiny laugh that very day I tried to kill him. I will definitely regret it for the rest of my life.

At that moment, I was able to realize the truly important things in life and exactly what my Daddy always said: in order to fully live life, we must learn to value every second of it and give all the love we can give.

I nodded, and my chest felt light when he drew me into a tight hug.

" M-mahal na mahal kita, Sam. " He cried. " Mahal na mahal ko kayo."

He made me feel special again in his simple ways. He was the same person he was before... but even better than I could feel his sincerity towards me. Hinintay niyang gumaling ang sugat sa puso ko. 

I was happy. The kind of happiness that was genuine rather than phony. I used to believe that after what had happened to me, I didn't deserve to be happy. It just feels so surreal to find me falling in love with him for the second time. It was much more true and I can't help but cry whenever I see our little bundle of joy.

"Sam, what happened? Papunta na ako. Just stay there, Baby. " Napangiti ako dahil doon.

"Hurry up."

"I will. Wait for me there. I love you, Sam, " he said, and those words melted my heart. I hung up the phone and turned to face the two pairs of eyes in front of me. I could see their eyes well up with tears. Dawn looked lovingly at me as Olive opened her arms. I couldn't stop myself from crying as well.

"Sabi ko sa inyo huwag ninyo akong paiiyakin eh." natatawang sambit ko sa kanila habang naglalakad palapit. They immediately embraced me when I stopped in front of them.

"A-alam mo namang mahal na mahal ka namin di 'ba? Dawn and I wanted happiness for you, Sam. Kung saan ka masaya ay doon kami. " humihikbing saad ni Olive at hinalikan ako sa pisngi. Napangiti ako dahil doon.

" You've suffered enough, Summer," saad ni Dawn pagkatapos akong yakapin at inabot niya ang kamay ko para pisilin. " You are worthy of all the joy and love in the world. We are always here for you. Until we took our last breath. "

I looked at my friends who have always been there for me since we were in college. We've been through a lot, we've suffered a lot, but we never gave up. Iyon siguro ang dahilan kung bakit kami ipinagtagpong tatlo. We never knew how to give up, but we were always looking for ways to be a better version of ourselves.

"Mahal na mahal ko kayo." I said as the tears were swelling in my eyes. "I'll be forever grateful to both of you."

Natatawang pinahid ni Olive ang luha saaking pisngi. "Girl, stop making me cry again! My foundation will be messy. Oh my god! "

Naiiling na napangisi si Dawn. "You know I love you, Sam. You should do the things that you've always wanted and we are here to support you no matter what. "

I smiled. I'm ready to open another chapter in my life, and that is being with him and by his side.

I opened my phone and texted Nanay Myrna to wait in the lobby. Kasama nito si Zacharael kanina at isinama ang bata na pumunta sa simbahan. Sa mga oras na ito, alam kong malapit na itong bumalik rito sa hotel.

Napatigil kami ng marinig ko ang malakas na pagkatok sa labas ng suite. Sumilay na agad ang mga mapang-asar na ngiti sa dalawa. I chuckled and rolled my eyes at them.

Kinakabahang naglakad ako papalapit sa pintuan at binuksan iyon. Nagulat ako ng biglang hapitin ako ng mahigpit na yakap ng lalaki. Naramdaman ko ang paghaplos nito sa ulo ko at ang mabigat na paghinga sa aking leeg. I quickly closed my eyes when I smelled his familiar scent. It calmed my nerves.

Nakangiting humiwalay ako sa kaniya ng yakap at tumingala sa matangkad na lalaki. His face was filled with worry, and his eyes were checking on me.

 "A-are you alright, Sam? I'm sorry ngayon lang ako, galing pa akong Cavite sa isang project. " Hinihingal pa siya.

He wore a dark blue long-sleeved shirt with black pants. "G-galing ka pang Cavite?"

He chuckled and kissed my forehead. "Yes, Babe. I oversee the project there. Anong problema? May nangyari ba? "I noticed how his brows furrowed as he awaited my answer. 

"Baba tayo." Nakita ko na naguluhan ang lalaki dahil sa sinabi ko, pero agad na hinila ko na siya paalis habang naririnig ang hagikhikan nina Olive at Dawn. Napangiti lang ako dahil doon.

Agad na napatayo si Nanay Myrna ng makita ako na bumaba mula sa elevator ng hotel. Narito siya naghihintay sa lobby hawak-hawak ang anak ko. Naramdaman ko ang paghigpit ng paghawak ni Zacharias sa kamay ko. 

I gave him a warm smile as I looked at him. Namimilog ang mga mata ng lalaki at bakas ang kaba sa kanyang mukha.

"S-sam, wait-Oh shit!" natatarantang usal ng lalaki. "I-I didn't bring him the spiderman toy I bought-"

I cut him off. "He has plenty of toys, Zacharias." I paused and squeezed his hand. "His father is exactly what he needs. Halika. He's waiting..." 

Nakita ko ang pagpungay ng mga mata niya. He looked down for a moment and then looked at me to give me a warm smile. 

Ibinalik ko ang tingin kay Nanay Myrna na naiiyak habang naglalakad papalapit sa amin. She reached for my cheek as soon as she was in front of us, and I immediately started sobbing. She was there in the darkest moments of my life, and without her, I'd never have been able to fight for my life and for my child. She was also the one who inspired me to keep fighting my battles. I will always be grateful to her.

"A-anak, kasiyahan mo lamang ang gusto ko." Binaling ang tingin kay Zacharias na nasa tabi ko. "If he was your happiness, then I'd gladly let him be with you and your child. Mahal na mahal kita, anak. " She smiled at me with tears now visible in her eyes. "Higit pa sa buhay ko."

I quickly embraced her as I was crying. She was smiling and tapped my back like I was a baby. Her baby. Nawala man sa akin sina Mama at Daddy, she treated me as if I were her own child rather than a stranger. She never made me feel less of a person and even loved me completely.

"S-salamat sa lahat ng pagmamahal, Nanay. Mahal na mahal ko din po kayo... Mahal namin kayo ni Zacky. " buong pagmamahal na saad ko sa ginang na umiiyak na ngayon. I kissed her on the cheek and hugged her even more tightly.

"Z...Zacky?"

Napahiwalay ako kay Nanay Myrna at hinarap si Zacharias na naiiyak na nakatingin sa bata. My heart warmed up when my son giggled as he was trying to reach someone. Doon lang ako napatakip ng aking bibig nang makita na hindi pala ako ang inaabot ng bata. Nakataas ang parehong maliliit na kamay nito na parang pilit inaabot ang isang tao... pilit nitong inaabot si Zacharias.

"M-malapit sa pangalan mo..." nakangiting usal ko na ikinapungay ng kanyang mga mata.

My son laughed even more and raised his hand towards Zacharias's direction. Tuluyan na akong napahagulgol ng naiiyak na nilapitan ng lalaki ang bata. Nginitian ito ni Zacharias at nakita ko ang pagnginig ng kanyang mga labi na para bang pinipigilan niyang kumawala ang hikbi doon. He looked at his son with so much love in his eyes. 

"H-he looked like me. We share the same pair of eyes." His voice was trembling.

"His name was Zacharael." mahinang sambit ko habang nakatingin sa kanilang dalawa. I can feel my heart exploding with happiness at the mere sight of them together. It was as if my heart was full. "Zacharael means Angel of Surrender. He's my angel... our angel. "

Hinawakan niya ang maliit nitong mga kamay at tumulo ang luha sa kanyang pisngi. He smiled even wider as he stared at our son with awe. "H-hello, bud."

My son chuckled, and I saw him reach for something. I couldn't help but smile warmly when I realized what he wanted. I tapped Zacharias on the back and he looked at me. 

"Just bring your face closer to his hands. "

He didn't seem to understand at first, but the moment his face touched his little hands, my baby, Zacharael, rubbed his cheeks against his face while hugging his head.

Doon ko na nakita ang sunod-sunod na pagdaloy ng luha sa mga mata ni Zacharias at ang paghagulgol niya. He extended his arms and slowly held Zacharael in his arms. My son continued to giggle and press his face against his father's. That scene will always be engraved in my heart. It was pure and filled with love.

I was wiping my tears as I looked at him, "Zacky... loves cuddles."

I was touched by how tenderly he held our baby in his arms. This is the first time I've ever seen Zacharias so happy. He appears to be delighted and complete. 

Napatingin ako kay Nanay Myrna nang yakapin ako nito at pinagdikit niya ang aming mga ulo habang malayang nakatunghay sa mag-ama. Zacharias was genuinely crying while my son was still hugging and pressing his face against him. Tumatawa pa ang bata na siyang dahilan kung bakit mas napaiyak ako todo.

Zacharias looked at me with love in his eyes. Ngumiti sa akin si Nanay Myrna bago ako pinakawalan. 

"C-come here, Sam." 

Zacharias opened his other arm and I saw how Zacky smiled when he looked at me. Nakangiti ako habang may bahid ng luha sa mga mata na naglakad papalapit sa kanila at inilagay ni Zacharias ang ulo ko sa kanyang dibdib.

"Mahal na mahal ko kayo. Thank you for giving me the home I was looking for my whole life, Summer. " He kissed my forehead, softly.

He went and kissed our son's face, and the child giggled in response. He looked at me again and, with tears in his eyes.

"Kayo lang. Paulit-ulit ko kayong pipiliin. Sa lahat ng oras at pagkakataon. I will be there for both of you. I will... I will bleed for the both of you."

Umiiyak na napangiti ako sa sinabi niya. 

I may have been lost in the abyss of pain and suffering, but I have rekindled the true meaning of life. I had once lost my family, but God didn't let me go on with this life alone, because he gave me a family that I can call my own.

I may be scarred for life and tainted, but if everything goes wrong again, I will bravely hold their hands and face it without fear until it exists no more. 

I won't be afraid to stand on the edge of a cliff since I know he'll be there with me. If I fall, we will both fall. Together.

It's okay to be lost for a while, but we should always remember our way back... for even the tiniest hope can resurrect a dying faith.

As his hands tightened around my body, I closed my eyes and rested my head on his broad chest. I heard him whisper "I love you" in my ears over and over again. As if saying it once would never suffice for him... for us.

 When I felt his warm embrace on my body, I knew that my heart had given up. 

Suddenly, I felt the silence that I had long sought in my troubled mind. I knew I was back in his arms, back in my one and only home... with him.