Final Chapter

I hugged myself as the wind blew hard while I'm wearing a long white dress and holding a bunch of flowers. Kahit maraming gumugulo sa isip ko, hindi mabigat ang pakiramdam ko.

Hindi ko na siguro mapapatawad si Mom at ang kabit niya. As for Rachel and Rylan, I'm not sure. Rachel and I are not yet in good terms and I don't think we can still be friends again after what happened. She just loves her brother so much to the point that she can't move forward. Hindi niya matanggap na naghiwalay kami at ang kapatid niya ang dahilan.

Tumingala ako nang tumunog ang bell saka ako pumikit at dahan-dahang naglakad sa gitna ng simbahan.

I'm taking my time while walking slowly as if I own the world and it only revolves around me. Every part of this church reminds me of Yves Marcus Antonio kahit pa talagang hindi pa natatapos ang simbahang 'to nang mangako siya sa akin na pakakasalan niya ako rito. It's still vivid to me, I can still clearly remember everything – the way he held my hands, the way he said he loves me and even the way he looked at me like I'm the most beautiful woman in this world.

I remember it all.

Kaya siguro kahit ilang taon man siyang nawala at matagal kong hinanap, hindi ako nawalan ng pag-asa. Or probably, I'm just so in love with him that I didn't even think of losing hope. Kahit kailan, hindi ko naisip na hindi na siya babalik. Na hindi na niya ako babalikan. My love for him just made me stronger but at the same time, I got weaker than before.

Tumingin ako sa altar pero hindi ko masyadong makita ang mga taong nakatayo roon dahil sa mga nakaharang na luha sa mata ko. I'm also seeing people around me starting to wipe their tears. Lalo na si Milan na umiiyak sa tabi ni Erica. I can't help but to be emotional, too while I'm still walking when I remembered him again.

Then suddenly, I stopped from walking when I saw a tall guy with a slightly tanned skin, has a curvy lips that I've always wanted to kiss and has a pair of deep eyes that I adore so much. My heart jumped when I saw the love of my life again. After many years of being lonely and busy looking for him – Yves Marcus Antonio is now right in front of me while wearing an all white outfit while directly staring at me.

I was about to embrace him when I noticed something. Kumunot ang noo ko nang lumingon ako sa paligid at nakitang halos lahat ay nakatingin sa akin. They're weirdly looking at me with a hint of sadness in their eyes and when I caught them looking at me, they suddenly looked away. May awa rin sa mga mata ni Natalia nang tingnan ako.

Nagulat na lang ako nang nasa likuran ko na pala si Yelena.

"I'm sorry," I said to the bride. Nasa gitna pa rin pala ako at nakaharang na sa dadaanan niya.

Naguguluhan pa rin ako nang umupo sa tabi nina Natalia. We're all bridesmaids together with Catalina and some of Yelena's close friends.

Tumingin ako sa gitna kung saan naghihintay si Iver kay Yelena. I don't even see any sparks in his eyes while looking at his bride while she's still walking. Not unlike when Yves proposed to me, I almost saw a galaxy in his deep eyes. They were shining while looking at me.

I looked at him again but he's not looking at me anymore. I'm still confused about what's going on right now but when the bell rang again and when Iver finally took Yelena's hands – that's when I realized everything. Parang tumigil ang tibok ng puso ko habang maingat na tinitingnan ang dalawa at ang lalaking nasa gitna nila. Ang lalaking hinintay ko nang matagal.. ang lalaking pinakamamahal ko ay ang magkakasal sa pinsan ko sa harap ko pa mismo.

Umiling ako saka pumikit. I might be hallucinating! I'm just maybe daydreaming! Right!

Pero nang tumingin ulit ako kina Milan, nakatingin pa rin sila sa akin nang may awa sa mata. Doon na tumulo ang luha ko at hindi na tinapos ang kasal nina Yelena. I don't care anymore if I created a scene inside the church. I just can't take this anymore!

Hindi ko alam kung anong mararamdaman ko!

I was so shocked! Devastated! Hopeless!

Ano bang dapat kong maramdaman kung nakita ko na ulit ang taong matagal kong hinanap pero makikita ko naman ulit siya sa ganitong sitwasyon? I don't want to say this but he's now a priest and I can't accept it!

I shouted at the top of my lungs when I reached the shore. This place witnessed how I became so depressed and broken before and now, I'm here again to cry and to hate the world.

"Patawarin mo sana ako.."

My heart sank when I heard that very familiar voice. Parang may tumutusok sa puso ko nang harapin ko siya kahit masakit na tingnan siya sa ganitong ayos. Hindi ko alam kung bakit nandito siya at sinundan pa ako.

"Y-Yves, why? Pa'nong.. pa'nong nangyaring iniwan mo ako bigla at pagbalik mo.. pari ka na? What happened?!" I desperately asked him. I even shook his shoulders while holding him tight.

Instead of answering me, he held my face. Parang nahihirapan na siyang tumingin sa akin ngayon. I missed his touch. His warmth. Everything about him.

Kasama ko siya ngayon. Nasa harapan ko na siya ulit. Pero bakit ang sakit? Ang sakit-sakit!

"Minahal kita, Alindra. I loved you so much. I'm sorry," he told me while staring at me. "I'm sorry for not choosing you.."

With that, he finally let go of me. Kumawala siya sa paghawak niya sa akin na para bang tuluyan na akong pinapalaya.

I looked at my ring - the only hope that I had before and then I remembered that Yves promised to marry me in that church - kung saan ikinasal sina Iver at Yelena. Paano niya pa matutupad ang pangako niya kung siya na mismo ang pari sa simbahan kung saan dapat kami ikakasal?

Pinagdasal ko noon na ilayo na lang siya sa akin kung talagang hindi kami para sa isa't-isa dahil hindi ko kakayanin kung iiwan niya ako kung kailan mahal na mahal ko na siya. I guess, God heard my prayer because when the wind blew, he's gone again and what hurts me the most is when he left me - he didn't even tell me his reasons why he became a priest after he left before.

I don't think that I'll ever accept that he chose to be a priest instead of choosing me to be his wife and spend his whole life with me.

Hinding-hindi ko matatanggap na ang lalaking pinakamamahal ko ay pari na ngayon.

. . .