Chapter 48

Pakiramdam ko, lumulutang ako habang nasa biyahe pabalik sa Manila. Hinahawakan ko lang ang maliliit na bato sa singsing na binigay ni Yves. I feel so tired to even feel exhaustion. I'm too drained to even cry and to mourn. I'm spacing out right now. My mind is in somewhere else – specifically in Dad's room in the hospital and also wherever Yves is right now.

If I can only make the time faster, I'll definitely check Dad's condition right away. I'm now worried especially, Adam is just quiet while he's on the passenger seat! Ni hindi siya nagkuwento ng kung ano talagang nangyari kay Dad!

I'm also thinking about Yves! Hindi ako nakapagsabi sa kaniya na babalik muna ako sa Manila! Masyadong marami akong iniisip para maalala pa 'yon!

But damn it! He needs me there!

"I'm not in the position to tell you about what happened. Mas mabuting si Tita Minerva na lang ang magsabi sa 'yo," sagot niya nang tanungin ko pa ulit siya kung ano ang nangyari.

I just sighed even if I really want to know about it. But I have no choice but to wait dahil alam kong hindi ko na mapipilit pa si Adam na magsabi.

We're not close, anyway.

Ni hindi ko nga alam kung itinuturing ba niya akong pinsan.

But if I'm going to compare Yasmin and him – Adam is much better. I think.

Hindi na ako nagpasalamat sa kaniya nang ihatid niya ako sa hospital. Hindi ko na rin naitanong kung anong room ni Dad dahil sa pagmamadali ko. It's a good thing that I saw Yelena inside the elevator but she didn't notice me. Sinundan ko lang siya hanggang sa tumigil siya at nagbukas ng pinto ng isang room.

She's about to close the door but I pushed it slightly. Nagulat pa siya nang makita ako sa labas ng room.

"A-Alindra, nahanap ka na pala. Where's Kuya Adam?"

Hindi ko sinagot si Yelena at dumiretso kay Dad. I quickly looked around him only to see apparatuses. My knees got weak when I moved closer to him. I covered my mouth to prevent myself from making any noise. Ayaw kong marinig ni Yelena na humahagulgol na ako sa harapan ni Dad.

"W-What happened to you, Dad?"

"Naaksidente si Tito habang nag-d-drive siya kasama ni Ivory at Natalia. He was drunk according to them. Your Mom and Tito Alesso also had a fight.. 'yon yata ang reason bakit uminom si Tito no'ng sinundo niya ang mga anak niya."

Napatigil ako sa pag-iyak nang marinig si Yelena. I looked at her. "Mga anak? What do you mean?"

"K-Kuya Adam didn't tell you yet?" nagtataka naman niyang sagot sa akin. I just shook my head while looking at her. "Nahanap na ni Tito Alesso ang anak niya kay Sandra Lope de Vega. Actually, they're twins – Catalina and Natalia.."

Hindi ko alam pero parang naging bingi ako bigla. I don't want to hear about it anymore. Sumisikip ang dibdib ko sa nalaman. My mind isn't also working properly anymore. I'm now confused. I don't know what to do. What to react and even what to say. Yelena is just right in front of me – she's barely looking at me – looking so calm despite of the things that she just told me.

Habang kalmado siya.. pinapatay naman ang puso ko sa mga nalaman.

"P-Patay na ang unang anak ni Dad," I said, almost a whisper while shaking my head.

"Akala ko rin. Akala rin namin..."

No! Ano bang nangyayari?

I don't want to hear anything from Yelena anymore so I just turned my back and faced Dad. Umupo ako sa tabi niya at hinawakan ang kamay niya.

Even after I heard the news, I'm not still mad at him. Walang kahit na anong galit o inis akong nararamdaman. I'm just feeling very sad. Guilty and even hopeless because of what's happening right now.

Iniisip ko rin kung ano na bang nangyayari sa Puricia Grittonia. Gusto kong malaman kung kumusta na ba si Yves kaya sinubukan ko siyang tawagan pero hindi niya sinasagot.

I sighed while looking at my phone.

Aside from my Yves, I'm also thinking about Dad's condition right now. He has a lot of bruises on his face and even on almost every part of his body. Hindi ko pa rin nakakausap ang doctor. At wala rin si Mom. Hindi rin mawala sa isip ko ang narinig kay Yelena.

Catalina and Natalia.

They're twins according to Yelena. The daughters of my Dad and Sandra Lope de Vega. Definitely, they're my sisters.

Half sisters.

Dumiretso ako sa mansion pagkatapos iyakan ang situation ni Dad. Pipigilan pa sana akong pumunta rito ni Yelena pero hindi ako nagpapigil sa kaniya.

Sinalubong naman ako ni Sonya na nanlalaki ang mata. "M-Ma'am! Anong---"

"Where are my sisters? Catalina and Natalia?" I asked her with my raised brow.

"A-Ano po, Ma'am.. kasi.."

Mas lalo pang tumaas ang kilay ko nang mautal siya sa harapan ko. I walked passed her and looked around.

"What? Nasaan sila?" I smirked a bit. "You don't have to hide the truth. Don't worry, alam ko na.."

"'Wag na 'wag ka nang babalik dito, Minerva! You're the reason why my son had an accident!"

Pareho kaming natigilan ni Sonya nang marinig ang boses ni Lola. After that, Mom went downstairs while she's in tears. Lola and Mom were both shocked when they saw me looking at them.

"A-Alindra," tawag ni Mom sa akin. I don't know if she's ever mad or sad while staring at me.

"Alindra, mabuti't bumalik ka na. Akala ko, makikipagtanan ka na sa anak ng kabit ng magaling mong ina!"

My forehead creased even more when I heard those words from Lola.

"Kabit? What are you saying, Lola?"

Bumaba naman si Lola sa hagdan. Halos itulak na niya si Mom nang madaanan. "Why don't you ask your mother?"

After looking at her, I glanced at Mom.

"Ano, Minerva? Bakit hindi mo sabihin sa kaniya na may kabit ka?"

I want to cover my ears after I heard those deafening words. I don't want to hear anything hurtful right now! Masyadong pinipiga ang puso ko sa mga nangyayari! I think, I can't handle anymore if I'll hear another bad news again!

Mom is just shaking her head while looking at me. She's fiercely crying right now. Namalayan ko na lang na tumulo ang luha ko nang may biglang pumasok na alaala sa isip ko. Pagkatapos, kaagad akong lumapit kay Mom.

"Don't you ever hide the truth from me, Mom. Alam ko na ang totoo.."

Umiling pa ulit siya at hinawakan ang kamay ko. She even whispered, "don't listen to your Lola, anak. Hindi totoo ang sinasabi---"

"Nakakaalala na ako," I told her directly while looking at her eyes. Because of that, I saw how her eyes widened.

Nabitiwan din niya ang paghawak sa akin.

"Pagkatapos niyong mag-usap, just make sure na hindi na kita makikita sa mansiong 'to, Minerva. I don't want to see a---" Pinutol ni Lola ang sasabihin at tumingin lang kay Mom. She looked so disgusted before she went outside the mansion.

"Nakaka-alala na ulit ako, Mom." Ngumisi ako sa kaniya. "I already knew before that you have a secret affair with T-Tito Fredrick. But when I got into an accident, I forgot about it! N-Ngayon ko na lang ulit nalaman na may.. kabit ka!"

Mas lalong nanikip ang dibdib ko nang nanghihina siyang umupo sa sofa sa living room. Ngayon ko na lang ulit siya nakitang umiiyak. She looks so fragile now. She looks different now and seems like, any moment she'll also explode because of what she feels.

"I love your Dad, Alindra." Umiiling pa rin siya. She's trying to compose herself but tears keep on falling from her eyes. "I regret that I had a relationship with Fredrick before that's why I already broke up with him. Akala ko, hindi na malalaman ng Daddy mo ang tungkol sa amin pero nakita niya kami habang.. hinahanap niya ang mga anak niya. Your father followed us. Naaksidente si Fredrick at ang pinakanaapektuhan ay ang mukha niya.

"That's why he decided to undergo plastic surgery. He used your Dad's face because according to him, hindi mahahalata ng ibang tao na may iba akong kasama dahil kamukhang-kamukha niya ang Daddy mo."

Nanlaki ang mata ko sa sinabi niya. "And you let him to do that?!"

"Of course, I didn't! But his decision was firm. By that time, gusto ko nang tapusin kung anong mayro'n sa amin pero tinakot niya ako. He told me that he'll show up to Alesso and tell everything that happened. At hindi ko rin inaasahan na.. pati ikaw gagamitin niya para lang hindi ako makipaghiwalay sa kaniya."

"He also used me," I whispered to myself. Nakatulala na lang ako sa sobrang daming nalalaman ngayon.

I suddenly remembered those times when Tito Fredrick used to buy me a lot of gifts. He was also nice to me even to my friends. Naalala ko ring minsan ko nang nakitang hinahawakan niya ang kamay ni Mom.

He's even looking at her in a very different way.

Gusto nang sumabog ng puso ko kasabay ng utak. Damn it!

"Your boyfriend – Yves Antonio.. will you ever forgive me if I tell you that I put him in jail before? Dahil sa galit ko sa kaniya nang malaman na siya ang nagugustuhan mo, pinabugbog ko siya habang comatose ka sa Manila."

"Y-You did that? Are you serious?!" Wala sa sarili siyang tumango. "Anong ginawang kasalanan ni Yves---"

"Hindi ko alam na gagamitin din 'yon ni Fredrick laban sa akin. I figured out that he's the father of Yves. He's Gregory Antonio.."

Doon ako napaupo sa sinabi niya. I held my head while letting the tears to come out from my eyes. This is freaking too much! Hindi ko na kinakaya pa ang mga nalalaman ko!

Mas lalo akong nagugulat sa mga sinasabi ni Mom! I didn't expect that she would actually imprisoned Yves before just because she knew that I like him! And I also didn't expect that Tito Fredrick is the father of Yves!

It didn't even cross inside my mind! Parang napaka-impossible! Pero 'yon ang totoo!

"W-We had a fight. Your Dad and I. Nalaman kong nahanap na pala niya ang akala naming mga patay na niyang anak. I didn't know that he's still looking for his daughters. Doon sumama ang loob ko at nakipagkita kay Fredrick. Nakita 'yon ni Alesso. Again, I regret that I did that. I was just so upset because of what he did but then I realized.. what I did to him was even worse than what he did to me."

"P-Pinagsisisihan ko lahat ng ginawa ko, Alindra. I didn't want to hurt you and your Dad. Mahal ko kayo ng Daddy mo kahit sinaktan ko kayo. I'm sorry, anak," umiiyak na sabi sa akin ni Mom. Hawak niya rin ang dalawa kong kamay habang nakaharap sa akin. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.. I'm the reason why your Dad got drunk and had an accident."

Hindi ko na pinakinggan pa kung anong susunod na sasabihin ni Mom. Nakatulala na lang ako sa sobrang dami ng nalaman ko.

I don't know anymore what I should do right now.

Pagod na akong umiyak, magalit at makarinig ng mga salita nila. I just want this to be over!

. . .

I harshly sighed while looking at myself in the mirror. I look so skinny right now. I've really lost weight since I started to face our problems.

I just smiled at myself and went outside the room. Pagkalabas na pagkalabas, bumungad sa akin si Doctora Sia nang nakangiti.

"Our session is done, Miss Rivera. Thank you for cooperating. You did well.."

"Thanks, Doctora," I said and smiled at her as we shook our hands together.

Lumabas ako sa kaniyang clinic na pinipigilang tumulo ang luha. It's been weeks since I discovered that I'm already suffering emotionally.. literally.

Doctora Sia found out that I have depression.

I didn't cry when I knew about my illness. I just accepted it 'cause I have no choice either. Kung iiyak ako, mas lalo lang lalala kung anong mayro'n sa loob ko. I'll just suffer more if I'll be sad over it.

When my therapy started – that is when I knew that Dad apparently has still a lot of unpaid debts. Nalaman kong na-scam pala siya ng isa sa mga investor kaya kinailangan niya ng malaking pera para mabawi ang perang nawala sa kaniya.

It was almost a hundred million. Doon ako nanghina.

Dad hasn't totally recovered yet. Mom already decided to leave us so I have no choice but to manage our business. Wala akong choice dahil sabi ni Catalina – kapatid ko kay Dad, "kung mahal mo talaga si Papa, gagawa ka ng paraan para mabayaran ang lahat ng utang niya."

Even if she didn't say it to me, I would really find ways just to help my father.

Iniwan na kami ni Mom. Wala na siya. I don't know where she is right now. I don't know if she's with Tito Fredrick – who happened to be Yves' father.

Ayaw ko na ring alamin.

I know this is bad but I loathe her. I'm now blaming her because of the tragedy that happened in our family! And I won't ever be sorry because of that!

"Natalia," I called my half sister out. She turned around to look at me. Kasalukuyan siyang nanonood sa TV. "Where's Vander?"

"K-Kasama ni Iver sa garden," nauutal niyang sabi kaya napakunot ang noo ko.

They're now living here in our mansion since Mom left. Lola was the one who decided that dahil na rin sa kagustuhan ni Dad. I wasn't okay with that at first, of course. I'm still holding grudges towards them especially because of what happened before. I admit that I blamed them. I admit that I hated them.

Ngayon.. I don't know. I can't really say that we're totally fine with each other's presence. Lalo na si Catalina. Hindi ko siya nakakasundo.

Tumango lang ako sa kaniya at dumiretso sa garden. I saw Vander, Iverson, Yelena and Catalina there. Aalis na sana ako nang makitang mukhang may mahalaga silang pinag-uusapan pero nakita na ako ni Catalina.

"Aalis ka kaagad eh kararating mo pa lang.."

I almost rolled my eyes when I saw her smirk. I hate her. Mas mabuti pa si Natalia sa kaniya!

Tumingin naman sa akin ang tatlo. Vander smiled at me while Iverson didn't even bother to smirk a little. May binulong lang siya kay Yelena na nasa tabi niya.

Malapit na yata ang kasal nila.

"Nakauwi ka na pala. Susunduin na sana kita sa clinic," nakangiting sabi ni Vander sa akin. He also offered me a chair.

I shook my head. "Hindi na. Kailangan na rin nating umalis. But can you come with me at the hospital first? I'll just check Dad before we leave.."

"Sure. I-re-ready ko lang ang car.."

"Thanks..."

"Aalis kayo? Saan kayo pupunta?" tanong pa ni Catalina.

"Sa Puricia Grittonia," sagot naman ni Vander sa kaniya.

"Alam kong pupuntahan mo ang boyfriend mo, Alindra," Catalina added with a smirk on her lips. "Bakit hindi mo na lang hanapin ang Mommy mo para makatulong naman siya sa 'yo sa pagbayad ng utang ni Papa? 'Di ba?"

My forehead creased when she even laughed after that. "Shut up!"

"Hayaan mo na si Alindra, Catalina. Magbabakasyon lang naman siya sa Puricia Grittonia. She also needs to breathe.."

I guess, I should thank Yelena for speaking up to stop Catalina from saying more. I hate her! Pinamumukha niya sa akin na ako ang anak sa labas!

I just sighed and faced Vander. "Let's go, Vander.."

Tumango lang siya at sumunod sa akin. Hindi na ako nagpaalam pa sa iba. I don't want to see Catalina anymore. I'll just stress myself if I see her face again.

Mabilis kaming nakarating sa hospital. Naiwan naman si Vander sa loob ng kotse at hihintayin na lang daw niya ako. I hurriedly went inside Dad's room. I thought he's asleep at this hour but I saw him eating an orange. Katabi niya ay si Adam na natutulog.

"Mas nauna pang natulog ang nagbabantay kaysa binabantayan?" Dad and I both laughed after I said that.

"Pagod ang pinsan mo, anak. Come here.."

I smiled and followed what he told me. I looked up to prevent my tears from falling. I missed Dad.

"You look tired. Baka naman masyado mong pinapagod ang sarili mo?" nakakunot-noong sabi ni Dad. "Sabi ni Natalia, lagi ka raw late kung umuwi. Don't stress yourself too much, anak.."

"Hindi naman po, Dad. Don't worry about me. I just got busy these past few weeks kaya hindi kita nadalaw rito. I'm sorry." Ngumiti ako nang kaunti at tinulungan siyang ligpitin ang pinagkainan niya.

"Do you want to say something?"

Umangat ang tingin ko kay Dad. Seryoso siyang nakatingin sa akin. "Gusto ko lang po magpaalam. I'll go to Puricia Grittonia. Sandali lang naman po ako ro'n. Babalik din ako kaagad."

"Ayos lang sa akin. Alam kong hinihintay ka niya.."

"Dad..."

He smiled a bit and looked away. "Matanda na ang Daddy mo, Alindra. I want to see you happy before I die."

"D-Dad, don't say that! Ano ba?"

"I want you to come back to him." Hindi niya pinansin ang sinabi ko at ngumiti. "I'm fine here. Maraming nagbabantay sa akin. Ayaw kong matulad ka sa Mommy mo. Gusto kong makasama mo ang taong tunay na minamahal mo."

"Mom loves you. Sabi niya sa akin," I told him, trying hard not to cry in front of him.

Umiling naman siya. "Matagal nang hindi, anak. Alam ko 'yon. Nararamdaman kong may iba na siyang mahal. That's why I let go of her even if I know that it will going to break us apart. Siya na mismo ang nagdesisyon. Iniwan niya tayo."

Hinawakan ko nang mahigpit ang bag na hawak. Sumisikip ang dibdib ko sa sinasabi ni Dad. Alam kong matagal na niyang alam ang tungkol kay Mom at Tito Fredrick pero masakit pa rin talaga kapag sa kaniya mismo nanggaling.

My father doesn't deserve to be hurt like this.

"Naaawa na lang siya sa akin at sa 'yo. I know that she doesn't love me anymore. Kaya, anak.. nakikiusap ako sa 'yo. Gusto kong maging masaya ka. Bumalik ka na sa kaniya.."

Ang kanina ko pang pinipigilan na luha ay lumabas na nang marinig ang huling sinabi ni Dad.

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