Chapter 37

Dahan-dahan naman akong inalalayan ni Tito Fredrick paakyat sa kaniyang kotse. He was passing by when he saw me at the street. Pauwi na ako at hindi na hinintay si Yves kahit na sinabing niyang hintayin ko siya.

I don't want to disturb him anymore. People might also see us together. Kinakabahan ako lalo na ngayong alam kong may pagdududa na rin si Rachel kay Yves.

“How's your day, anak?” Napalingon naman ako kaagad kay Tito Fredrick nang marinig ko 'yon. Pati siya ay parang nagulat pa sa sinabi niya. “I mean, hija?”

I was busy checking his luxurious car while I'm sitting on the passenger seat. Nagsimula na rin siyang mag-drive.

I took a deep breath. “Just fine, Tito pero nagkaro'n lang ng unting gulo sa cafeteria. My friend just came here from States just to argue with me..”

“Is that connected to that Rylan boy? Kinuwento sa akin ng Mommy mo..”

"Yes, my friend Rachel is my ex boyfriend's younger sister," sabi ko at nilingon si Tito. I'm not really used that I'm sharing my problems to other people but to my surprise, I didn't even hesitate to tell him what happened. "She's blaming me for what happened. According to her, baka nagkulang ako sa Kuya niya kaya naging gano'n na lang ang nangyari."

Nakita ko namang kumunot ang noo niya. “She said that? Sinaktan ka ba niya? Ano pang nangyari?"

“Tinapunan niya ako ng.. cold water," nahihirapang sagot ko sa kaniya. "But it's nothing, Tito. I understand where she's coming from.."

"Hindi niya pa rin dapat ginawa 'yon sa 'yo." He looks so worried about me.

Siguro noon ay inaalagaan din niya ako. Hindi ko lang matandaan.

I smiled a bit. “Tito.. I'm glad that you're always free for me at nakikinig ka rin sa akin. My parents are always busy. Lalo na si Dad!

"And you even gave me a bag last time. Thank you po. I'm so happy," I added.

“That's my gift for you. I heard you're an honor student last year.”

Tumango naman ako saka ngumiti. "But please don't spoil me too much. Baka magselos si Dad..”

Natawa naman siya sa sinabi ko. Kumunot naman ang noo ko nang may makitang picture ng lalaki sa wallet niya nang buksan niya 'yon. We stopped at the gasoline station for a while.

“Tito, can I ask who's that?” I said and pointed the picture. I'm curious. He looks so interesting.

He's, I think around 40's already or even older.

Napatingin naman siya ro'n at kaagad niyang tinago. My forehead creased more when he did that.

"I-It's nothing. 'Wag mo nang pansinin.."

Because of what he said, I became more curious about the guy's identity. Hindi ko alam kung bakit biglang napukaw no'n ang atensyon ko lalo na nang halos mag-panic si Tito nang makita ko 'yon.

It seems like he's hiding it from me.

Napalingon naman ako sa kaniya habang may kausap siya sa phone. Is it possible that.. that guy is his boyfriend? It can be!

Kaya ba tinatago niya 'yon sa akin? But why would he even do that? I won't judge him if that's his concern.

Napabuntong-hininga na lang ako. I have a lot of problems to even think about it. I'm just getting more problematic because of it.

After a few minutes, we finally arrived at the condominium. Hinatid pa ako ni Tito Fredrick sa lobby kahit tumanggi ako.

"I just want to make sure that you'll be safe," he told me and smiled a bit. "Baka puntahan ka pa ulit ng kaibigan mo. This time, hindi natin alam. Baka mas malala pa ang gawin niya sa 'yo."

I sighed when I remembered Rachel again. Until now, I still can't process everything that happened earlier.

Kahit nahihiya na ako kay Tito, pumayag na lang akong ihatid niya ako. Parehas naman kaming nagulat nang makasalubong si Mom sa lobby. She looks like she just came from work. She looks tired and kind of stressed — not the typical mother of mine.

“Fredrick, hinatid mo ang anak ko?" Nakakunot-noong tanong ni Mom kay Tito. She's looking at us intently, especially at Tito. "Alesso might see you here!"

Lumapit naman ako kaagad kay Mom. "Why? So what if makita siya ni Dad dito?”

"I already told you, they're not in good terms," sagot naman niya. It took her few seconds to answer me.

"Don't worry, Minerva. Aalis na rin ako," biglang sabi ni Tito Fredrick kaya napalingon kaagad ako sa kaniya. "Talk to your daughter. Ask her what happened earlier. Baka may maitulong ka."

I offered him to stay even for a while inside my unit but he just refused. It's also obvious that Mom doesn't like what's happening right now. Hindi ko alam kung anong problema niya.

I don't see anything wrong with what Tito Fredrick is doing. He's just trying to help! He's so nice to me!

"Let's go, Alindra. Kanina pa kita hinihintay..”

Bago pa kami umalis, tumingin muna si Mom nang kakaiba kay Tito. I just thanked him and smiled before we go inside the elevator.

“Did he say something to you?" tanong kaagad ni Mom.

"Nothing, Mom." Kumunot ang noo ko at bumuntong-hininga. "Don't tell me.. pagbabawalan mo akong makita si Tito just because they're not okay ni Dad?”

Mom also sighed beside me. "No. Ayaw ko lang makita siya ng Daddy mo na kasama ka..”

I sighed in relief because of what she said. Mabuti naman.

“Are you comfortable with him?" tanong pa ni Mom. I don't why she's even asking things like this.

Bigla siyang naging interesado sa magiging sagot ko.

“Yes, Mom. I think, we're now close at magaan ang loob ko sa kaniya." I faced her and smiled. "Maybe it's because.. he's the only Rivera that loves and accepts me. Well, of course, aside from Dad. Although I just met him weeks ago, I feel that he loves me just like his own daughter..”

Ngumiti naman si Mom nang marinig 'yon. I even saw tears formed inside her eyes because it sparked.

"I'm happy to hear that, anak," sabi niya habang palabas kami ng elevator. "Pero kung may sasabihin siya sa 'yo, you should ask me first. Alright?”

My brows furrowed after she said that. “Anong sasabihin ni Tito?”

She just smiled a bit and shook her head. I'm expecting that she would still answer me but she didn't.

Lumipas ang mga araw na alam kong binabantayan ako ni Rachel. I know that she has an eye inside the university. I'm thinking that it's just one of our friends but at the second thought, she won't do that just to betray me. Right?

I'm just making myself feel better despite of what Rachel is doing to me.

Kaklase ko sa isang minor subject ang tumulong sa akin nang kuhanin ko ang ilang books na hiniram sa library. I saw Yves teaching in the other room when we went outside. I'm about to smile but he just ignored me and continued what he was doing.

Naririnig ko namang tumawa si Laurence sa tabi ko. Kumunot naman ang noo ko saka siya nilingon.

"Why are you laughing?" tanong ko sa kaniya.

“Nothing. Nakita ko lang namula si Sir..”

I raised a brow. “Sir?”

“Sir Yves," he answered and finally stopped from laughing.

Umikot naman ang mata ko. I don't know what's so funny about it.

"He blushed and stopped for a while when he saw you," sabi pa niya nang makitang nakakunot lang ang noo ko.

“Maybe it's not because of me. Baka may tao lang sa likuran ko..”

Umiling lang si Laurence at pinilit pang ako talaga ang dahilan kung bakit namula si Yves. Pinilit ko rin naman sa kaniyang hindi ako. Nakakahalata na ba siya sa amin? I hope not. We're not even talking to each other when we're inside the university especially in front of many people. Kung mag-uusap man kami, tatawagan niya ako o hihintayin ko siya sa condo.

Katulad ngayong naka-receive ako sa kaniya ng message. My forehead creased when I read it.

Yves

Masyadong malapit sa 'yo ang kasama mo.

My mouth slightly opened because of what I read from him. Tumingin naman ako kay Laurence na tahimik namang nagbabalik ng books sa kaniya-kaniya nitong shelves.

I think, he didn't blush because he saw me pero dahil sa inis niya kay Laurence. Am I right? Nagseselos kaya siya?

I smirked with that thought and put my phone back inside my bag.

. . .

"You're still talking to each other, I know," I told Milan when they went straight here in my condo after their afternoon classes.

I'm accusing her that she's the one that Rachel asked to watch over me dahil hindi magagawa 'yon ni Rachel dahil hindi na siya sa university namin nag-aaral. Not unless, she will go back here.

“Believe me naman, Lindra! I won't do that! Kahit love ko pa si Rachel!” sagot naman niya at lumapit pa sa akin.

“Alam mo, Lenn. Hindi ka naman dapat mag-alala kung may mata nga si Rachel sa university. Oh ano naman kung mayro'n? Kung makita ka niyang kasama si Sir Hottie, wala siyang magagawa ro'n..”

"Pa'no naman nasali sa usapan si Yves — I mean, Sir Yves?”

Inirapan naman ako ni Erica. "Slow mo..”

Naisip ko naman bigla si Yves. I'm sure he'll also be worried when he knows that Rachel is already doubting us.

“Honestly, I don't know why Rachel is acting like that. Tapos na kami ng Kuya niya. Plus her brother is the one to blame here. I don't know why she's blaming me for her brother's mistake!” I frustratedly told them as I threw myself to the couch. I sighed heavily.

“Hindi kasi kumakain si Kuya Rylan and he's not also sleeping daw sabi ni Rachel," sabi ni Milan. “Rachel flew here just to talk to you and check her brother. Why don't you visit him na lang? After all, you had a relationship with him naman eh..”

Erica agreed with Milan while playing her headphones. Umiling na lang ako. I don't think they can help me with my problem 'cause I know that despite of what happened — they still also treat Rachel as their friend. Ganoon din naman ako. I'm just very upset at hindi siya lubusang maintindihan.

Pinipilit ko naman. At kung pagbibigyan ko siya sa gusto niya na balikan si Rylan — I'll just fool myself. I'll just fool her brother. Everyone around us. And I'm sure Yves will be hurt, too.

I don't want to do that.

At bakit ko naman babalikan ang taong matagal ko nang iniwan?

I took a deep breath and stood up. "I don't want to stress myself. Let's just party instead. Umuwi muna kayo at magbihis..”

Papasok na sana ako sa room nang magsalita si Milan, "what? Are you sure?"

Tumango naman ako. "Yeah. Is there a problem? Kung ayaw niyo, ako na lang.”

“Sasama kami!” sabi naman ni Erica na kaagad tumayo. “Uwi muna tayo, Milan! Bihis tayo!”

Kaagad naman silang umalis nang hilahin ni Erica si Milan. I sighed as I started to change my clothes into a very dark red tube dress. I didn't put too much makeup on my face. I'm fixing my bag when the door bell suddenly rang.

I raised my brow when I saw Yves outside. I frowned when I opened the door. Naabutan ko naman siyang nakasandal sa pader malapit sa unit ko. He's now wearing his sleepwear.

“What are you doing here?" naiinis na sabi ko sa kaniya.

“Saan ka pupunta?” tanong naman niya pabalik at tuluyang pumasok sa loob.

"Answer my question first!”

He showed me his smile and walked near me. Umatras naman ako. “Hindi ba kita pwedeng puntahan? Kumustahin? Dito lang kita nakakausap nang maayos. Dito lang kita pwedeng yakapin..”

“Who the hell said that you can hug me here?" kunot na kunot ang noo kong tanong sa kaniya. "Hindi ba professor kita? You're not allowed to---”

I didn't even finish what I'm saying when he suddenly hugged me from behind. "I'm allowed to hug you. Walang batas na nagsasabing bawal kitang yakapin nang ganito, Alindra..”

I feel like melting when I heard that. My heart also seemed to jump because of his hugs and his words. Masyadong masama ang loob ko sa kaniya. Pero masyado ring nakakatuwa ang mga ginagawa niya. Is this his way of apologizing and making it up to me? If yes, I just want to be upset forever so he can always hug me like this.

I'm getting crazy!

Hindi naman ako nakasagot sa kaniya. Hinayaan ko lang siyang yakapin ako habang naaamoy ko ang pabango niya.

"You'll party tonight, right? Ayos lang sa akin," rinig kong sabi niya. “Pero magdala ka ng jacket mo. Baka lamigin ka..”

I faced him when I couldn't take my feelings anymore. Sumimangot naman ako nang hindi na niya ako yakapin.

“Sabihin mo nga sa akin.. why do we need to do this huh? Why do we need to hide like this?” naguguluhan kong tanong sa kaniya. "I know you already explained to me but I just don't really understand it! Marami nang cases na mayro'ng relationship ang isang professor at student niya outside the country and also here! So why do we need to hide from everyone? If our situation is the reason and if you really love me — you'll leave your job!

"It's either you'll lose me or you'll lose your job! Isa lang ang pipiliin mo!" dagdag ko pa.

Malungkot naman siyang tumingin sa akin. "Hindi ko alam kung bakit mo ako pinapapili. Being a professor is important to me, Alindra. Pero mahalaga ka rin sa akin—"

"You know what? Just forget it 'cause I know you won't ever choose me! I'm just upset because you keep on ignoring me! Hindi mo man lang ako kausapin o pansinin! Lagi na lang akong maghihintay sa 'yo rito sa gabi! I don't want that! I don't want to hide!"

Naalala ko naman bigla ang mga gabing hinihintay ko siya. Darating siya kapag malapit na akong matulog. Kung kailan malalim na ang gabi at malamig na — saka siya kakatok para dalawin ako. He's always making me wait for a very long time. I think I have the rights to complain though.

I tried my best not to cry again in front of him but I guess, I didn't really try my very best because my tears are now falling from my eyes. Ayaw na ayaw kong umiiyak sa harapan ng ibang tao. Ayaw na ayaw kong makita nilang mahina ako!

Nagulat naman ako nang marinig ko na ang boses nina Erica. I gently wiped my tears while facing him. Hindi pa siya nakakasagot nang magsalita pa ulit ako.

"I'll go now. Just make sure to lock the door when you leave...”

I disappointedly left him there without looking at him anymore. Ayaw ko na siyang tingnan. If I'll do it, I know that I'll just run and hug him.

At hinding-hindi na ako bibitaw.

Fuck! This is the first time I had feelings for a guy! It's making me insane!

Sinuklay ko muna ang buhok ko using my fingers and remove some traces of tears. Naghihintay na nga sa labas sina Milan.

"Let's go," salubong ko kina Erica at Milan. Naabutan ko pa silang nagtatawanan sa hallway.

“Wait, Lindra! Did you cry? Your eyes are puffy!”

I shoved Milan's hand when she tried to touch my eyes. Nairita ako bigla. Halata pa rin palang umiyak ako.

"Problema mo?" Nakakunot ang noo ni Erica nang magtanong.

"Nothing. Umalis na tayo. I want to be drunk tonight...”

Nakita ko namang nagkatinginan sila at nagkibit-balikat pa si Milan. I deeply sighed while we're walking. Gusto kong hilahin ang oras para matapos na lahat ng ka-drama-han na 'to!

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