Chapter 35

"Mom..”

Bumungad sa akin si Mom kinabukasan ng hapon after classes. After what happened last time, she often goes here to check me just like this time even if she just came from meetings with Dad.

"Rylan called me. Ano ba talagang nangyari sa inyo?" Lumingon kaagad ako kay Mom nang makapasok siya sa unit.

I sighed as I prepared her some snacks. "He cheated on me, Mom. He had a fuck buddy. Ngayon, buntis na ang babae so I let go of him. He has to own up his mistakes..”

I didn't expect her reaction when she stood up and came near me. She even held my shoulders. Gulat na gulat ang mukha ni Mom nang makita ko.

"H-He did that to you?” she asked. Alam kong hindi siya naniniwala. When I nodded, tears immediately fell from her eyes — which I didn't really expect. "Kailan mo pa nalaman 'to? Why didn't you tell me right away?!”

I looked away when I saw her tears again. Kumikislap 'yon sa mata ko. Our breakup didn't really that painful for me but seeing her hurting like this in front of me — I can say that this is quite painful.. and bothering.

"I think, last week. I didn't tell you 'cause for sure, you won't believe me. Gustong-gusto mo si Rylan para sa akin kaya---”

"I like him for you because I know that he's wealthy enough to provide your needs once you get married. I'm just concerned about you and your future, anak," kalmado pero umiiyak pa ring sabi ni Mom. "But not because I like Rylan for you, it doesn't mean that I won't believe you. Lalo na kapag ganitong niloko ka niya.

"He didn't tell me everything when he called me, darling.. and I'm sorry because I didn't protect you from him. Hindi ko alam ang nangyari. Hindi ko alam," she even added as another batch of tears came out of her eyes.

Natahimik ako. Hindi ako sanay na umiiyak siya. She's always calm as much as possible and she always holds back her feelings. This is, I think the first time that I saw her in tears.

"'Wag na lang nating pag-usapan 'to, Mom. Please?” I told her and continued what I was doing a while ago. Naiwan naman sa ere ang kamay niyang humahaplos sa buhok ko kanina.

Kumunot naman ang noo ko nang sundan ko siya ng tingin habang paupo sa couch. It's like I'm looking at the other version of my mother because of her reaction.

I'm also a bit worried because I know her, she will do anything for me. Alam kong may gagawin siya. Kung hindi kay Rylan, sa babae but I don't want to stop her anymore. It's her choice, anyway and at the second thought, Rylan will also finally stop from bothering me if ever she'll do something.

"Your Tito Fredrick.. how is he? Is he nice to you?"

I raised my brow because of her sudden change of mood. "Uh, yeah. I'm somehow comfortable with him and he even brought us foods here last time..”

She smiled differently after that. It's like an awkward smile.

Why do I feel like Mom is getting so much weird lately?

Sabay naman kaming natigilan nang biglang tumunog ang door bell. Kaagad ko namang binuksan ang pinto. Bumungad naman sa akin ang delivery guy na may hawak na malaking box.

“Alindra Rivera po?" I nodded my head as an answer. "Galing po kay Mr. Fredrick..”

I looked at the box again as he puts it inside my unit. I immediately checked it when he left. Lumapit din si Mom para tingnan 'yon.

My eyes widened when I saw a designer bag inside the box when I finally opened it. This is so freaking expensive!

“He's really spoiling you huh?”

Ngumiti naman ako nang kaunti. “This is a classic designer bag, Mom! He has a taste huh! Kung hindi ko lang siya Tito, iisipin kong nanliligaw siya sa akin!”

I even chuckled. Si Mom, seryoso lang. Hindi ko na lang siya masyadong pinansin. I just put the bag inside the dust bag and I kept it inside my room. Naabutan ko namang may kausap si Mom sa phone nang lumabas ako. Parang galit pa yata siya. She looks so serious.

“Mom, is that Tito? Please say thank you for me..”

Umiling naman siya. “No. This is your Dad."

I walked near her and greeted Dad over the phone but he didn't respond. Or maybe he did but I just didn't hear it. Mom also looks tensed right now. Kumunot naman ang noo ko nang pumunta siya sa balcony habang kinakausap si Dad sa phone.

I just took a deep breath.

Seriously, I feel like there's really something wrong.

. . .

Saturday morning when I decided to go to the gym but before that, I remembered the plant that Sir Yves gave me last time. Because of that, I also remembered him while I'm watering the plant.

Actually, hindi ko alam kung anong plant 'to. I don't know if it's an indoor or an outdoor plant but I just put it on the balcony just to be safe. I also don't know how to properly take care of it.

At.. hindi ko rin alam kung bakit pa siya nagbigay ng plant sa akin.

Nagulat naman ako nang sabay kaming lumabas ng unit. I think he'll also go to gym because of his outfit — fitted tank top and track pants and also duffle bag with him. I just raised my brow at him but didn't bother to utter any word.

Inunahan ko na siya sa elevator. Alam kong susunod siya dahil iisa lang naman ang gym namin. I also remember that we have the same schedule because I changed it last time, of course because of him.

Napapikit naman ako sa inis nang ma-realize kong hindi ko nasabihan ang driver namin. Anyway, I'll just ride on a bus instead of borrowing our car.

"Are you avoiding me?"

I faced Sir Yves when he suddenly spoke. He also pushed the button on the elevator. Hindi man lang siya nakatingin sa akin habang kinakausap ako.

I immediately shook my head as an answer. "No. Bakit ko naman kayo iiwasan, Sir?”

I even chuckled to convince him. Masama ang loob ko sa kaniya. But I'm also thinking of kissing him right here.. wala namang ibang tao.

“Iniiwasan mo ako. Don't deny it. You're not even looking at me while I'm discussing. You didn't also smile back at me. At pinagsarahan mo pa ako ng pinto no'ng nakaraan..”

I can't believe him! Lalo na sa mga sinabi niya! He noticed that I'm avoiding him for the past few days! He noticed that I didn't look at him!

Dapat na ba akong matuwa, Sir?

"What?" I don't know if I should stay mad at him or just laugh after what he said. “Anong gusto mo, Sir? I'll look at you and smile seductively so you can finally like me? Or kahit ma-attract ka lang? Do you expect me to do that?"

“You're now doing it, Miss Rivera. You're seducing me," nakakunot-noong sabi niya.

Tumawa naman ako at umiling. I want to tease him. "You're wrong. I'm not seducing you.. but you can touch this," I told him and touched my chest all the way down to my hips. "And even this.."

"Stop it. Nasa elevator tayo!"

Pakipot.

I laughed again after that and smiled at him. I really love it when he pretends to be mad. Mas lalo lang siyang nagiging gwapo.

"Hindi ko alam kung hanggang kailan tayo magpipilitan.. but you can have me all the time, Sir," I whispered to him and even almost kissed his ear. I can't believe that I'm very much willing to give myself to him.

I sweetly smiled as I waved my hand at him — making my way out of the elevator while he's just standing there — dumbfounded. Tulala. Napangisi na lang ako.

At least I know that I also have an effect on him even if he doesn't really like me.

Nagulat naman ako nang bigla naman siyang nagpakita sa tabi ko habang palabas na ng building.

"Kukunin ko ang motor. Sumabay ka na sa akin..”

Hindi ako umimik sa sinabi niya. I remembered that I should be mad at him at hindi kung ano-ano lang ang pinagsasabi ko. He should know that I'm mad at him! Masama ang loob ko dahil sa pagiging paasa niya!

He was just quiet while he was driving but when we finally arrived at the gym — he began asking me again. Hindi pa sana ako iimik nang tumingin siya nang diretso sa akin.

"Anong sinabi ng mga kaibigan mo no'ng makita ako?”

I sighed. "Of course, they freaked out at first. And apparently, they already knew that I like you. Matagal na, actually.”

Nakita ko namang nagulat siya pero kaagad namang nakabawi.

"Natatakot ka ba na baka sabihin nila sa iba 'yon? Do you trust them enough?” sabi niya habang maayos na pina-park ang kaniyang motor. He also helped me to remove my helmet.

"Hindi naman siguro nila sasabihin sa iba. They won't bother to tell anyone about it and so what if they do? Admiring you isn't really big of a deal. Lalo na sa university. You're one of those so-called campus crushes---"

“You should still be careful. Isuot mo 'to..”

I raised my brow when he handed me his black baseball cap. I'm confused at first but I did what he told me.

"Bakit naman ako mag-iingat, Sir?”

Hindi na siya nakasagot nang makapasok kami sa loob ng gym at sinalubong kami ni Yael.

“Kaya pala nag-change ka ng schedule, Alindra!" Yael told me and laughed.

Umiling naman ako at umirap. "Oh, just shut up!”

I feel like my face is as red as a tomato right now because of what he said! Sir Yves surely heard it!

Tumingin naman ako sa kaniya at nakitang nakakunot lang ang noo niya. Really? When will he learn to smile often?

After the incident inside the gym — Sir Yves and I didn't hang out for the past few days and I don't think he'll find it necessary. At pagkatapos niya ring malaman na alam na nina Erica ang pagkagusto ko sa kaniya at ang pag-stay namin sa iisang building — hindi na niya ulit ako kinausap.

It's like he's avoiding me or.. completely ignoring me. I don't know if it's better though 'cause my friends are also noticing that he's really avoiding me. Gusto ko siyang lapitan at tanungin lalo na nang nasa cafeteria kami at kasama niya si Miss George — bagong babaeng professor.

She's gorgeous, I must admit.

“He's not avoiding me," I denied to Erica even if Sir Yves is purposely doing it. "Bakit naman niya ako iiwasan?”

"Uh, kasi 'di ba you told us last time that you confessed your feelings towards him? Baka he's you know.. naiilang sa 'yo," sabi naman ni Milan at nagkibit-balikat.

I looked at them while they're just peacefully eating beside me. Habang ako, parang biglang naging miserable habang tinitingnan ang dalawang professor malapit sa counter.

"Sabunutan mo na.” I rolled my eyes at Erica when she said that. She's even smirking and pointing at Miss George using her lips!

"I don't think naiilang siya sa akin, Milan," sagot ko naman sa kaniya at tiningnan ulit ang dalawang professor. Something inside me seems to crash while seeing them together. "He's obviously just busy flirting with that new professor.."

I looked away from them. Napansin ko namang nagkatingin sina Erica at Milan dahil doon. Napailing na lang ako.

Another week has passed yet Sir Yves is still ignoring me. I don't know what happened. After he did something nice to me, he just left and avoided me like nothing happened. He's like a wind that is just passing by and now gone.

Iniwasan niya ako na parang hindi niya ako pinaasa.

That's him. That's Yves Marcus Antonio.

Kumunot naman ang noo ko nang sabay silang lumabas ni Miss George sa music room. They're both laughing. This is the first time that I heard him laugh like that at kasama niya pa ang babaeng professor na 'yon. Akala ko kay Regina lang ako maiinis, sa kaniya rin pala.

Her wavy brown hair is swaying a bit while they're walking while I'm just standing beside the laboratory. Napahinga na lang ako nang malalim. I started to walk again when suddenly, Sir Yves and I looked at each other for a while.

Nauna akong umiwas ng tingin at binilisan pa ang lakad. Pinaasa lang niya ako! Dati si Regina, ngayon naman si Miss George! He's such a flirt!

Damn it!

I tried my best to just forget about what I saw a moment ago especially when I entered the library. I still need to read for our exam tomorrow. Kung iisipin ko pa ang professor na 'yon, babagsak lang ako sa exam. I don't want that to happen! As much as possible, I don't really want to be affected anymore!

I started reading every words written on the book that I borrowed but my mind is really clouded with everything that happened. This is his fault! Nakakainis!

"Miss Rivera. Who's Miss Rivera?”

Nag-angat naman ako ng tingin nang tawagin ni Ms. Limaco — the librarian. Magtataas pa sana ako ng kilay nang bigla kong makita si Sir Yves sa pinto ng library. He's directly looking at me. I quickly stood up and went to the left part of the library so he can't see me anymore.

What is he doing here? Guguluhin na naman niya ako?

Tumalikod ako at humarap sa malaking painting kung saan walang ibang students. I'm trying so hard to focus! Freak!

I panicked immediately when I heard the very familiar voice of Sir Yves. I'm planning to hide again from him but then he saw me. Kahit na naguguluhan sa kaniya — I remained calm and unbothered. I also pretend that I'm reading.

"Alindra..”

Hindi ako sumagot o tumingin sa kaniya. I just let him stand on my right. I want him to look stupid while standing there katulad nang nagmukha akong tanga katitingin sa kaniya, mapansin lang niya ako.

I'm shocked when he suddenly held my chin just for me to look up at him. Nagtagpo naman ang mga tingin namin. My forehead creased when I saw loneliness in his eyes for a fleeting second. He became serious after that.

“Pansinin mo naman ako,” sabi niya habang dahan-dahang inaalis ang paghawak sa akin.

I want his touch more but this is wrong!

Inis akong tumayo at kunwaring naghanap ng libro. I don't really understand this professor behind me.

“Miss Rivera, look at me." His voice was full of authority. “I'm inviting you to join the upcoming party. Your voice is good. Kung ayos lang sa ‘yo, ikaw ang kakanta at tutugtog ako ng piano..”

I sarcastically smirked when I faced him and crossed my arms together. “You think, I'll agree after you ignored me? Oh come on, Sir. Iiwas-iiwasan mo ako tapos saka mo lang ako lalapitan kapag kailangan mo ako? I'm sorry but I have no time for that and please, don't make me look like a fool..”

Bumuntong-hininga ako at aalis na sana nang bigla niyang hawakan ang kamay ko. Napatingin naman ako roon.

“I'm not ignoring you, alright? Ayaw ko lang na pag-usapan tayo ng mga tao kapag nakita nilang---”

“Then why did you come here and follow me kung ayaw mong pag-usapan nila tayo?! You're the one who's making an issue here! Not me!"

Inis na inis ako sa kaniya! He looks so calm yet I'm here — frustrated while looking at him dahil hindi ko talaga siya maintindihan!

"Why are you acting like that? What's the problem? Tell me," mahinahon niya pa ring sabi sa akin.

“You! You are my problem! Ang gulo-gulo mo! Paasa ka pa! You were avoiding me these past few days then all of a sudden, lalapitan mo ako just because you need something from me?! At lagi pa kayong magkasama ni Miss George!”

There! I finally said it! Talagang nakakainis na!

Kumunot naman ang noo ko nang bigla siyang ngumiti. “Alam ko na kung anong problema mo. You're jealous, right?”

"Of course not!" nanlalaki ang matang sabi ko sa kaniya.

“What is that noise?”

Napaatras naman ako nang biglang magpakita si Ms. Limaco.

“I'm sorry, Ms. Limaco. Let me talk to my student for a minute.."

Umiwas naman ako ng tingin kay Sir Yves nang sabihin niya 'yon. Nakatingin naman si Ms. Limaco sa amin nang kakaiba bago tumango.

“Pakibilisan lang, Sir Antonio. Miss George came here. She's looking for you. Sabi niya, sumunod ka raw sa office.."

"Uh, excuse me po," kaagad kong sabi kay Ms. Limaco nang marinig ang sinabi niya.

I lost my patience. I didn't wait for Sir Yves anymore and finally went outside the library. Ayaw ko nang umasa sa professor na 'yon kahit gumawa na naman siya ng paraan para paasahin ako.

He's even inviting me! For what? To fool me again? For me to look stupid in front of him? Is he happy when he's hurting me?

Kung ayon ang kasiyahan niya then I won't freaking give him satisfaction!

Nagulat naman ako nang biglang may humila sa akin. I just found myself standing in front of Sir Yves again at the fire exit.

"Let go of me, Sir! Ano ba?!”

I tried to let go of his grip but then he's too strong or maybe I'm just really weak for doing so. Nabigla naman ako nang yumakap siya sa akin. No. Hindi lang yakap. Sobrang higpit na yakap na parang tatagos sa kaluluwa ko.

Really, Sir Yves?

“I'm sorry..”

Hindi ako umimik. I don't know why he's apologizing. Maybe he realized that he's actually wrong for giving me high hopes and he's guilty for hurting me.

The only thing that I don't understand right now is his firm hold on me.

Gusto ko na lang maiyak sa ginagawa niya. Niyakap niya ako nang sobrang higpit — in a way that I won't have time to complain anymore about what he's doing to me. In a way that I can no longer move. He's hugging me in a way that I'll love and crave for his touch not just now but for the rest of my life.

And when I felt his touch.. his skin.. his warmth — all of my loneliness, anger and disappointments towards him seemed to vanish in an instant.

That's it.

Gano'n ang epekto niya sa akin. And I found myself falling for him even more.. deeper and much harder this time.

... ... ...