Chapter 33

Liking someone isn't really normal for me. Because for me, love is somewhat a blur. Magulong-magulo para sa akin na hindi ko maintindihan. That's why I didn't like guys romantically before. I kissed a lot of guys before, yes but those were just for my pleasure and also because I was drunk.

I also dated many guys and even had so many boyfriends and flings but again, I didn't catch feelings for them. I only had memories. Not feelings.

Kaya nang ma-realize kong nagkakagusto na ako kay Sir Yves - I tried so hard to deny it to myself. Sabi ko sa sarili, "this is just a phase. You're just attracted to him." But obviously, I was wrong because as the time goes by - everytime I see him - I'm falling hard even more.

Kahit hindi ko naman gusto.

Kahit hindi naman talaga dapat.

Gulong-gulo rin ako. Dahil nga sa hindi pa naman ako nagkagusto talaga - hindi ko alam kung paano ako kikilos sa harapan niya. Of course, I should act naturally. Hindi ko dapat ipakita sa kaniya na gustong-gusto ko siya.

I also had high hopes that he likes me, too based on his moves.. his stares. Everything. Pero nang sinabi niyang hindi niya ako gusto, nasaktan ako kahit papaano. Ngayon ko lang naramdaman 'to. I expected worse than this though.. it's just different now.

But instead of just sulking in my condo - I decided to visit Dad on his office since I have no classes for today, too. Before that, I saw Sir Yves that is talking to the little girl named Yani. They're laughing together outside their units but when he noticed me, he stopped and stared at me. Hindi ko na lang siya pinansin at tuloy-tuloy akong lumakad papunta sa elevator.

I rolled my eyes. I hate him!

"Oh, anak! You're here!" bungad kaagad ni Dad nang makarating ako sa kaniyang office. It's a good thing he doesn't have any meetings now.

"I brought you your favorite Japanese food," I said as I kissed his cheek. "Where's Mom?"

Natuwa naman siya sa dala ko at busy na siyang tingnan 'yon. Umupo naman ako sa couch malapit sa table.

"She's at the lobby. Hindi kayo nagkita?" Umiling naman ako. "O-order na sana kami ng Mom mo. Buti nagdala ka ng foods, anak.."

Ngumiti naman ako. "Yeah. Wala akong pasok, Dad so I decided to visit you here. Alam ko namang wala rin kayo sa mansion. And.. I also have a question 'cause I saw someone last time. He looks like you, Dad! Baka nga Rivera din siya.."

He laughed at me while still checking the foods that I got for him. "If he's a Rivera, it's impossible. Tatlo lang kaming magkakapatid nina Tita Alicia mo. At ako lang ang lalaki. Kung pinsan.. imposible rin."

My forehead creased when I heard that. Napaisip naman ako. Yes. I remembered that Dad only has two siblings. Dalawa pang babae at mga pinsan naman niya, babae rin. That's why Lola trusted him before and gave him their businesses since he's the eldest and the only man in their family aside from Lolo, of course but things happened so..

"Kamukhang-kamukha mo, Dad.."

"Alindra!"

Nagulat naman ako nang biglang pumasok si Mom sa office. I almost jumped out of my seat because of that. I looked at her and she looks pale. Hinihingal din siya at mukhang tumakbo pa yata galing dito.

"Hey, Mom," I greeted her and kissed her cheek.

Lumapit naman kaagad siya kay Dad. "What are you saying to your Dad?"

"Nothing. I was just asking him. Right, Dad?"

Hindi na ako nagulat nang makitang kumakain na si Dad.

"Yeah. Let's eat!" he said and smiled after he took a bite on the katsu. He offered some of it to Mom but the latter just refused to take it.

Tumingin naman si Mom sa akin. "Buti pumunta ka rito. I thought you'll just stay inside your condo for the whole day. Lexy said that you don't have classes. And 'yong pinag-usapan natin. Don't forget it."

Inisip ko pa kung ano ang tinutukoy niya but I realized that she called me last time and asked me if someone is bothering me and things similar to that.

Pagod akong tumingin sa kaniya. "Mom," I said in a complaining tone.

"It's for your safety," she emphasized while whispering. Hindi naman kami pinapansin ni Dad dahil busy sa kinakain.

I just sighed and didn't say anything anymore. I don't want us to argue especially in front of Dad. Hindi ko na lang pinansin ang kakaibang tingin ni Mom na parang binabalaan ako.

Honestly, I don't know anymore why she's acting like that. She's so paranoid these days!

Few days have passed and Mom is very much weird now especially that she told me that we'll meet someone at a five-star restaurant next week. She was nervous while saying that to me last time. Hindi na ako humindi pa kahit wala akong idea kung sino ang tinutukoy niya.

Ang iniisip ko ngayon ay si Sir Yves dahil hindi na naman niya ako pinapansin lalo na nang um-attend siya sa amin ng classes. He's not even looking at me while he's standing in front just like what he usually does.

Because of that, I didn't want to listen to his lectures anymore that's why when he suddenly called my name.. I didn't know what to say.

"S-Sir." I really have no idea what he was asking a while ago.

Some of my blockmates are looking at me now. Si Sir Yves, ngayon lang ako tiningnan kung kailan napapahiya na ako!

"You look pale. Are you okay?"

Napaupo kaagad ako sa tanong niya. "Yes, Sir. I'm very okay.."

Gusto kong umirap pero hindi pwede.

Nakita ko namang pumunta siya sa gilid ko. I became nervous when he did that.

"Okay ka naman pala then I think, you won't mind answering my question. Kanina ka pa tulala, Miss Rivera," rinig kong sabi niya sa akin.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit biglang sumakit ang ulo ko. I held my chair for support when my headache became worse and I can't bear it anymore.

"Alindra, what's happening?" sabi pa ni Sir Yves.

Nagawa ko pa siyang tingnan kahit sobrang sakit na ng ulo ko - and when I looked at him - I saw him in a different situation.. in a different place before I collapsed.

... ... ...

"Sir, kami na magbabantay kay Alindra."

I heard Erica's voice when I'm finally conscious but I didn't open my eyes yet. Naramdaman ko namang nakahiga ako sa kama at nasa tabi ko lang si Sir Yves dahil naaamoy ko ang pabango niya.

"No, I'm fine here. Bumalik na kayo sa university. May klase pa kayo," rinig ko pang sabi ni Sir Yves.

Naramdaman ko namang umalis na si Erica. She's probably with Milan. Mas lalo kong idiniin ang pagpikit nang naramdaman kong lumapit si Sir Yves sa akin.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit siya nandito. I just know that he was beside me when I passed out earlier. After that, I don't know what happened anymore.

"You can open your eyes. Ako ang nahihirapan sa 'yo.."

My forehead creased as I slowly opened my eyes when I heard him spoke.

"Sir, bakit ka pa nandito?" kunwaring naiinis na sabi ko sa kaniya. I remembered what he just told me last time and he's even avoiding me these days!

"I'll take care of you---"

I looked away as I smirked. "You're not a nurse. You're a professor. Why would you even take care of me?"

"Alindra, please. 'Wag ka nang makulit," sabi niya pa. Gusto ko na lang umirap sa kaniya. "Should I call your parents?"

"No! I mean.. I don't want them to worry," kaagad kong sabi sa kaniya. I also don't want them to disturb us especially now that I realized that we're in a different place at wala na kami sa university. Hindi ko lang alam kung saang hospital 'to.

Sinilip ko ang mukha ng lalaking professor. He's not looking at me. Natatamaan ng sikat ng araw ang mukha niya pati ang buhok. I find him attractive while I'm just staring at him. I also feel calm when I knew that he's just here beside me while I was asleep a while ago.

I quickly got out of the hospital bed when I realized that he was looking at me while I was asleep! I look so ugly for sure!

Freak!

"Saan ka pupunta?" tanong niya kaagad nang makitang nakatayo ako. He managed to be in front of me in an instant.

"I'm looking for my bag!" naiirita kong sabi sa kaniya.

Nagulat naman ako nang ibigay niya ang bag sa akin dahil nasa tabi lang pala niya. "'Wag ka munang kumilos. Sabi ni Doctora, pagod ka raw at kulang sa tulog kaya ka nahimatay. You should take care of yourself."

"I don't want to. You should take care of me instead. Katulad ng sinabi mo kanina, nandito ka para alagaan ako." Seryoso kong sabi sa kaniya. Hindi naman siya nakaimik pero nakita kong ngumiti siya nang kaunti.

Oh God. I die for that freaking smile of him!

He rarely smiles so when he does, my heart just melts and stops for a while to appreciate him.

"Uuwi na ako. Am I excuse?" pagalit na sabi ko sa kaniya. I immediately caught his attention when I showed him my mad face.

Tumango naman siya. "Are you okay now? Baka mahimatay ka pa ulit."

"Bakit? Kung mahimatay ulit ako.. hindi mo na ba ako babantayan?"

I craned my neck a bit just to look at him straight. Lumapit pa ako sa kaniya na halos mapaupo na siya sa hospital bed. Mas lalo naman siyang umiwas.

"Sige, iuuwi na kita. Pack your things.."

"What about the bill?"

"I'll take care of it," sabi niya, making his way out of the room.

I sharply sighed as I looked at him while he's leaving me. Pipigilan ko pa sana siya pero ang bilis niyang nawala. Bigla na naman akong nairita. Pero ginawa ko pa rin ang sinabi niya.

I quickly removed the hospital gown as I wore my long sleeves inside my bag. When I went outside the room - which is the room no. 12 - I immediately saw a lot of people. Iisa lang ang napansin ko. He's wearing an all black outfit. Black leather jacket. Black pants and baseball cap. Hindi ko nakikita ang mukha niya pero pakiramdam ko, nakita ko na siya dati.

He averted his gaze when I caught him looking at me. Mabilis ang pag-iwas niya. I became nervous for some reasons. First, I remembered what my mother asked me last time - if I ever have a stalker. I know I'm being paranoid like her but I'm just thinking of possibilities.

Second, bigla akong kinabahan dahil naghihintay nga pala sa akin si Yves - Sir Yves.

I'm in a rush when I saw him at the exit. Nakasakay na ang pinakapaborito kong professor sa kaniyang motor. Instead of running, I calmly walked towards his direction. He immediately noticed me and I saw that he stared at me for a while.

Oh, Sir. Naaapektuhan ka na rin ba?

"Let's go." I sweetly smiled at him.

I smirked when he didn't even move a bit. Kahit ang paghawak niya sa helmet, hindi niya magawa nang maayos.

He cleared his throat. "'Yong damit mo, Miss Rivera.."

I chuckled. Gusto kong baliwalain ang sinabi niya. "What?"

"Paki-ayos.."

I tried to stop myself from smiling when I heard that. Tiningnan ko naman ang damit ko. Doon ko napansin na nakabukas pala ang buttons ng long sleeves ko - exposing a little bit of my skin on my chest. Instead of fixing it - I just stared at him.

"There's nothing wrong, Sir Yves and besides mas comfortable kapag nakabukas ang buttons. Presko.."

Tumalikod ako sa kaniya para sumakay na sa motor niya. Sinuot ko na rin ang helmet. May ibang napapatingin. I hope this hospital isn't that near in our university. Baka kung ano ang isipin nila kapag nakitang magkasama kami ng isang professor at nakasakay pa ako sa motor niya.

"If you want to seduce me, please 'wag dito," mariin niyang sabi sa akin bago paandarin ang motor.

Lagi niyang sinasabi 'yan. Napaikot na lang ako ng mata.

"Noted," I said after I smirked.

Kumapit ako sa kaniya nang mahigpit nang bumilis pa ang takbo niya. Nakalimutan ko tuloy na naiinis ako sa kaniya dahil doon.

We arrived quickly in our condo. He quickly parked his motorcycle, too. Nagmamadali rin siyang pumasok sa elevator kaya sinundan ko na lang din.

"Bakit ka ba nagmamadali, Sir?" I finally asked him when I noticed that he's in a rush. Halos siya na mismo ang mag-angat sa elevator papunta sa floor namin.

"Para mabilis kang makauwi. Hindi mo talaga inayos ang damit mo," masungit niyang sabi sa akin.

He's not looking at me while I'm busy staring at his face. He's wearing eyeglasses right now. It makes him hotter though even if it's covering his deep beautiful eyes.

Tumingin ulit ako sa damit ko. I didn't even notice the opened buttons earlier because I was also in a rush! At isa pa, naghihintay siya sa akin!

"If you're thinking that I'm trying to seduce you, you're wrong, Sir." Hinarap ko pa siya lalo. I plastered my sweetest smile in front of him. "Nakalimutan ko lang i-button, galit ka na.."

He finally looked at me again. Tumikhim pa siya. "Hindi ako galit, Miss Rivera."

"Ang formal mo naman masyado, Sir," I emphasized the word sir. "Then why are you always serious huh? Ang cold-cold mo palagi.."

I even chuckled at myself as I followed him when we're already at the 17th floor. Nababaliw na yata ako.

"You should rest now. Babalik pa ako sa university," sabi niya kaagad nang nasa tapat na kami ng unit ko. He didn't answer my question!

I frowned. "You won't stay?"

Umiling naman siya. I'm disappointed. "May kailangan pa akong gawin para sa upcoming event. Sige na, magpahinga ka na. Gusto mo pa bang kumutan kita?"

My eyes immediately widened with what he said but I hid it. I don't want him to think that I like his idea kahit gustong-gusto ko naman talaga.

"Yes, please.."

Akala ko aalis na siya pero namalayan ko na lang na nakasunod na pala siya sa akin nang mabuksan ko ang pinto ng unit. Pinahiga niya pa ako sa kama. I noticed that he was hesitant at first to go inside my room but after a minute, I saw him offering another pillow to me.

"Sabi mo hindi mo ako gusto, Sir. Then why are you doing this?" sabi ko sa kaniya habang inaayos ang kumot ko.

"Take a rest now, Miss Rivera.."

"Please, answer me! You're just making me confused!" I told him. Malapit na malapit siya sa akin pero hindi sapat para magdikit ang katawan namin.

He sighed. "I'm doing this because as your professor, I---"

"Lock the door when you leave..."

Hindi ko na siya pinatapos pa sa sasabihin at tumalikod na sa kaniya. I heard him sighed again before he finally turned off the lights. Narinig ko rin ang pagsara niya sa pinto.

When I faced the ceiling - I cursed when I realized that I'm crying.

"Ano ba, Alindra?! Why are you like this?! Stop crying!" I yelled at myself.

I frustratedly pulled my hair as I stood up to wash my face after a few minutes of crying and lecturing myself. I hate that professor! I really hate him!

Sisigaw pa sana ako nang biglang may nag-door bell. I immediately opened the door when I saw Yani in front of my unit. She's wearing all pink again.

"Yes?" I said while wiping my tears.

"Here oh. Kuya Pogi told me na i-give ko raw 'to sa 'yo.."

She gave me a huge paper bag after that. Nagtaka naman ako sa sinasabi niya pero naalala kong si Sir Yves ang tinutukoy niya.

"Why? Para saan daw 'to?"

She shrugged her shoulders while playing with her hair. "I don't know but I hope that it's not a gift. Baka Kuya Pogi likes you eh. Ayaw kong like ka niya 'cause I will marry him when I grow up!"

I just shook my head when she ran fastly inside their unit after she rolled my eyes at me. Pumasok naman ako kaagad at tiningnan ang loob ng paper bag. It has soup inside and some medicines and also foods. I'm busy checking what Sir Yves gave me when my phone suddenly beeped.

I have a message from him!

Sir Yves

Kumain ka na. Uminom ka ng gamot pagkatapos. Make sure that you'll attend your classes tomorrow.

I tried my best to prevent myself from smiling but I failed. Even if his message is just so simple - it has this unexplainable effect on me.. nakakabaliw!

Sir Yves! You really know how to drive me crazy! Paiiyakin mo ako at ngayon naman, babaliwin!

... ... ...