Chapter 31

I forcefully wiped my tears when I remembered the incident a while ago. Naiinis ako sa professor na 'yon! It's me who's seducing him! Hindi man lang siya na-attract!

Or maybe he's just holding back his feelings dahil maraming pwedeng makakita sa amin.

I decided to sat down on the gutter when my head aches again. I feel so wasted now but I like it!

“Hey, Miss. Umiiyak ka ba?”

I lazily looked up only to see an unfamiliar guy in front of me. I think he's hot but Sir Yves is even hotter than him.

“No! Bakit naman ako iiyak?” I chuckled.

Inalalayan naman niya ako nang muntikang matumba nang tumayo. I faced him and I saw that he's a cute guy.

“Have we met before? You look familiar..”

He just laughed at me. Dinikit ko naman ang katawan sa kaniya nang makita kong papalapit sa amin si Sir Yves. I think, he's looking for me that's why I leaned closer to the guy as I kissed him hard on his lips.

“H-Hey! Wala akong condom!” he said and pushed me lightly.

“Shut up and just kiss me back!”

I kissed him again and thankfully, he did what I told him. His kisses are soft not unlike mine. I intently kissed him more especially when Sir Yves is finally near us. I know that he's looking at us right now. Hindi ako nagkamali at maya-maya lang, nasa tabi na niya ako at hinihila na paalis sa bar.

“Sir Yves!” I tried to call him but he didn't even look at me.

Ramdam na ramdam ko ang malakas na pagkapit niya sa kamay ko habang hinihila ako. I just realized that we're now on the other side of the parking lot.

“Sakay,” he said when we stopped in front of a motorcycle.

“What---”

“Sumakay ka na, Alindra..”

I quickly wore the helmet that he's offering me when I saw that he's really mad right now. Kaagad din akong sumakay sa motor niya nang sumakay rin siya. Kahit may tama na ng alak, ramdam ko pa rin na galit siya.

He's mad, yes but why?

He's probably jealous! 'Cause he saw that I was kissing someone else! I smirked upon that thought.

Nagulat naman ako nang mabilis niyang patakbuhin ang motor na wala pang kalahating oras, nasa condo na kaagad kami. Mabilis din siyang nag-park. When we're inside the building, he still didn't let go of my hands. I immediately went near him as I wrapped my arms around his neck. We're inside the elevator at wala namang tao kaya mas lalo ko pang nilapit ang sarili sa kaniya. His scent is so masculine. It's so addicting.

“Sir,” I moaned when I felt his warm body against me.

I also felt that his muscles got tensed when I touched his chest down to his tummy. The first three buttons on his polo shirt are now opened. Kahit nahihilo, nakikita kong nakapikit siya at parang nahihirapan. Napangisi ako lalo na nang bumukas ang elevator at hilahin niya ulit ako. I'm kind of nervous because he's just quiet while doing that but at the same time — I'm so freaking thrilled.

I grinned when he forcefully closed the door behind me when he opened the door of his unit. Mariin niya akong sinandal sa pintuan katulad ng kung paano niya ginawa 'yon no'ng nakaraan. I was too stunned to even think about pushing him away because I'm now barely breathing.

“Ito ba talaga ang gusto mo, Alindra?” He finally spoke again after so many minutes. It's still dark inside his unit but I still see that he looks frustrated in front of me.

His hands are even shaking!

“I-I don't know what you're talking about---”

“You're trying to flirt with me. Sa bar. Sa elevator,” mariin ang pagkakabigkas niya sa mga salita pero hindi siya sumisigaw. “And you even.. kissed another guy. May boyfriend ka na at sabi mo ikakasal na rin kayo. Bakit ka pa nakipaghalikan sa iba? Bakit mo pa ako inaakit kung gano'n?”

Pumungay naman ang mga mata niya nang itulak ko nang mahina palayo sa akin. “That's because I like you! I kissed that guy para pagselosin ka! And no! I don't have a boyfriend anymore 'cause I broke up with him just for you!”

Lumapit naman siya sa akin at hinawakan ang balikat ko. I'm so frustrated just like him! I want to cry!

“Anong sabi mo? You broke up with your boyfriend.. just because of me? Just for me? Why did you even do that?” His brows are furrowed. Gulong-gulo siya sa akin.

“Isn't it clear that I like you huh?” I told him while looking at his eyes directly.

“Alindra, I am your professor!”

Napakurap naman ako sa biglang pagtaas ng boses niya.

“I don't care!” sigaw ko pabalik. “I don't care if you're my professor! I don't care if you're ever a priest! A saint! I don't care as long as I'm into you!”

Tumalikod naman siya sa akin. He even almost pull his hair because of frustration. I drank a lot, yes but I know very well what I'm saying to him.

“Hindi ko naman talaga gusto 'to eh! I don't really like this freaking feeling 'cause you're my professor and I'm just your student! At first, I don't want you! I hate you! But I realize.. habang tumatagal, nahuhulog na pala ang loob ko. Hindi ko namalayan---”

“Alindra, pinapahirapan mo lang ako at ang sarili mo,” he cut me off and faced me. “Magpahinga ka na..”

Tinalikuran na niya ako at papasok na sana sa sariling kwarto pero lumapit pa ako sa kaniya.

“Hindi mo ba talaga ako gusto? Hindi ka ba talaga interesado? I know for sure that even just for a minute, I entered your mind. For sure.. you're also fantasizing about kissing me.. touching me and even making love---”

“Umuwi ka na,” may diin ang bawat salita niya. It hurts me more as I followed him inside his room.

“Kahit kailan ba hindi ha? Sir Yves?” tanong ko sa kaniya. I realized that I'm now crying. “I know that you like me, too. You're just holding back your feelings 'cause I'm your student and it's forbidden for you to like me!”

“Then we won't make it forbidden..”

Nagulat naman ako nang mabilis siyang lumapit sa akin at hinalikan ako. My eyes widened while tears are still forming inside my eyes. He didn't move his lips against mine but I still can taste the alcohol on it.

One minute and he's now moving his lips to give me tender kisses. He's so gentle and at the same time, I can feel every edge of his soft lips. I haven't tasted his lips before.. I haven't kissed him but I feel like I already did.

Mas lalo akong nalalasing sa mga halik niya.

I touched his chest. His arms and his hands — pulling him closer to me so I can feel his warmth more. I'm now turned on. Naramdaman kong napaupo ako sa kaniyang kama nang hindi pa rin namin tinitigilan ang labi ng isa't-isa.

“Sir,” I moaned softly.

It's like kissing someone that I didn't see for a long time and I feel like exploding anytime especially when he deepened the kiss more. Ramdam na ramdam ko ang diin sa bawat halik niya. Ramdam na ramdam ko rin kung gaano ko siya kagusto sa bawat pagtugon ko sa mga halik niya.

This is wrong but feels so right.

Gusto ko na yata talaga siya.

“Make love to me, Sir," I whispered to him between our kisses.

Nagsisi akong sinabi ko pa 'yon dahil bigla na lang siyang tumigil at lumayo sa akin. I even heard him cursed.

“Mali 'to. Maling-mali 'to..”

Nanlabo ang mga mata ko dahil sa luha habang tinatanaw ko siyang pumunta sa balcony. I hugged myself when I felt that I'm rejected once again.

He regrets it! He regrets that he kissed me! I thought he's liking it but freak! Hindi pala!

Damn it! Fuck it!

. . .

Nagising ako dahil sa sikat ng araw. I immediately felt that my head is throbbing in pain. I roamed my eyes around me and I quickly got up when I realized that I'm not inside my room. I also feel like throwing up so I searched for the bathroom but when I'm about to open the door of the bathroom when I found one — a tall man welcomed me. He just came from a shower.

Sir Yves is standing tall in front of me. He's not wearing anything aside from the towel, of course. Pansin kong tumutulo pa ang tubig sa buhok at katawan niya.

“W-What are you doing here, Sir?” tanong ko sa kaniya. Saka ko lang naalala na nasusuka pala ako.

I hurriedly went inside the bathroom to puke everything out of my stomach. Uminom nga pala ako kagabi.

“Anong ginagawa ko rito? I'm staying here. You're inside my condo, Miss Rivera..”

Mabilis ko siyang nilingon matapos sumuka. “What did you say? Why am I even here? I only remember that we party last night---”

“At nalasing ka. Hinalikan mo ako at pumasok ka sa kwarto ko. Dito ka natulog,” sabi niya habang kalmadong nakasandal sa pinto.

“What? Hinalikan kita?” Malaki ang mata kong sabi sa kaniya.

“Hinalikan mo ako. Madiin. Sabik na sabik..”

I went outside the bathroom to follow him when he left to wear his shirt. I even saw him smirking!

“I like you, yes but I won't kiss you!”

Mas lalo siyang ngumisi. “So it's true that you like me?”

I rolled my eyes and went near him. ”Isn't it obvious?”

“Baka lasing ka pa rin, Miss Rivera..”

Sinundan ko ulit siya at hinarap nang lumayo sa akin. We're now outside his room and he's preparing for breakfast.

“I'm not!" masungit kong sagot sa kaniya. “Bakit ba hindi ka naniniwala sa akin?”

“'Cause I'm your professor. You shouldn't like me. Right?” He's looking at me directly. Seryosong-seryoso siya.

“I'm so done with your rejection. Pwede ba kung i-re-reject mo lang ulit ako ngayon, maghanap ka naman ng ibang reason!”

I sighed as I turned my back at him. Pilit kong inalala kung ano ang nangyari kagabi at mga sinabi ko kaya ganiyan na lang siya ngayon.

Did I really kiss him? If yes, I should do it again now that I'm not drunk anymore!

I subconsciously touched my lips when I imagined kissing Sir Yves right on his lips. Na katulad ng sabi niya — madiin.

“Gusto mo ba talaga ako?”

Nilingon ko siya nang biglang magsalita. "Oo, Sir Yves.. even if you're my professor. So what?” I even chuckled.

Ilang minuto siyang natahimik at umiwas ng tingin. Looks like he's thinking something. I wish I could enter his mind so I know what's inside of it. I want to know what he's thinking.

Kung masaya ba siya o hindi sa narinig — gusto kong malaman. 'Cause I observed that he's just quiet and not too vocal. Na parang kahit kailan hindi ko malalaman kung ano ba talaga ang iniisip at nararamdaman niya.

There is really something about this guy..

“Umupo ka. Kumain ka muna..”

And also.. he's confusing. Magulong-magulo siya. Just like now that he's inviting me to eat breakfast with him after he rejected me again.

I don't think I could ever understand him.

Hindi na sana ako susunod pa sa kaniya pero nakita ko ang titig niya kaya wala akong nagawa kundi ang umupo malapit sa kaniya. He offered me a garlic bread and coffee. Hindi na ako tumanggi.

I remained silent for the next minutes while I'm slowly chewing my food. He's not also talking at nakatingin lang sa mga pagkain sa harap.

“By the way.. sinubukan kong iuwi ka kagabi sa unit mo pero wala akong keycard mo. Do you have it now? Wala kang dalang kahit ano pagpunta mo rito..”

Hindi ko siya pinansin. I just continued eating. My mind is now clouded to even care about what he said.

I heard him clear his throat. “Pwede naman nating subukan..”

I looked at him when he said that. Napatigil pa ako sa pagkain. He looks so serious while looking at me.

“What are you saying?”

“We can try this out. Pero hindi ko mapapangakong mag-wo-work 'to 'cause I know, this won't be easy for the two of us..”

I didn't clearly understand what he said that's why up until next week, I'm still thinking about it. It's a Monday of August and we don't have classes in Ethics. I suddenly want to see Sir Yves teaching in front of us.

“Hey, true ba 'yong tsismis? That you're already engaged?” It's almost dismissal when Rebecca asked me.

Pagod naman akong umirap sa kaniya. “No. Nag-break na kami..”

“What?“

I didn't bother to answer her anymore 'cause she's busy processing what I just told her. Mabilis ko namang kinuha ang bag at lumabas na ng room nang matapos ang professor sa kaniyang lecture. Nakita ko ring dumaan si Erica sa hallway.

“Gaga ka, 'te. Nakakagulat ka! Bigla-bigla ka sumusulpot!” sabi naman ni Erica nang tinabihan ko siya habang naglalakad. She's with her blockmates.

“What happened last time sa bar? I don't really remember anything,” mahina kong sabi sa kaniya.

Hinarap naman niya ako nang umalis ang mga kasama. “Nag-sex kayo ni Sir Hottie..”

“What?!” My eyes widened while looking at her. Tumigil pa ako sa gitna ng hallway.

“Joke lang! 'Di ko alam! Basta bigla na lang kayong nawala ni Sir.” She smirked and looked at me differently. “Inuwi ka ba niya?”

I slowly nodded as I looked away. “Yeah. Nagising ako sa kwarto niya last---”

“Tangina! Nag-sex kayo? Sabi sa 'yo, landiin mo lang eh!”

Sinamaan ko naman siya ng tingin. I'm about to say something when I suddenly saw Rylan. Aalis na sana ako pero lumapit siya kaagad sa amin.

“I was calling you last night. Hindi ka sumasagot..”

Nagkatinginan naman kami ni Erica. Napairap na lang ako. “Rylan, we're done. Why don't you accompany that woman to the hospital to check your child instead of bothering me?”

Mas lalo akong napairap nang makita kong may dala pa siyang bouquet ng flowers. He really thinks that I'll forgive him because of that huh?

“Bakit ka ba naniniwala sa babaeng 'yon? She's obviously lying!” He looks frustrated while looking at me. “You didn't even let me explain! Nakipag-break ka kaagad! Bakit? Dahil may iba ka na? Narinig ko kayo ng kaibigan mo!”

Erica and I both looked at each other again. Napailing na lang ako.

“Hinaan mo ang boses mo. Don't make a scene here. At walang iba.. ayaw ko na lang talaga. Imagine, you had sex with someone else just because we're not doing it. I won't accept you anymore after that, I'm sorry. You disappoint me," kunot-noong sabi ko sa kaniya. “Let's go, Erica. We're just wasting our time here..”

"Kung may iba.. I'll make sure that I'll know it, Alindra..”

May sinasabi pa siya pero hindi ko na naintindihan ang iba. Mas nauna pa siyang umalis kaysa sa amin.

“May lahi palang baliw 'yong Kuya ni Rachel?” Erica said but I just stared at her.

I don't know why I became nervous with what Rylan told me especially when I remembered Sir Yves' words last time. Ngayon ko lang 'yon naintindihan.

I know the possible consequences of adoring him but I'm asking myself.. am I willing to risk everything just for him?

Is he worth fighting for if ever?

... ... ...