Chapter 19

Pagkaalis nina Rachel pagkatapos ng maraming oras na pag-stay at pang-iistorbo nila sa akin — bumaba ako para bumili ng noodles sa convenience store.

While I'm heading to the elevator — back to my unit — I remembered what Rachel told me earlier. Rylan wants us to be engaged already kahit wala pa naman kaming isang taon! I'm expecting that Rachel would take back her words but she didn't!

Akala ko biro lang iyon..

Hindi naman ako pwedeng hindi sumang-ayon dahil baka magtampo ang babaeng iyon kapag nalaman niyang tutol ako sa ideya ng Kuya niya. I mean.. it's just too early and I don't have any plans to marry him.. at least at this age. I'm too young! I just turned 20!

Maybe I should call Rylan and ask him about that matter. I don't like his idea. Ni hindi man lang siya nagtanong sa akin tungkol doon!

I'm about to push the door of the convenience store when someone already did it for me. Nagulat naman ako nang makita ko ang lalaking nakita ko sa bar last time!

I'm expecting that his reaction would be the same as his reaction when he saw me earlier this week but he didn't even stare at me anymore. He just looked at me for a moment. Pagkatapos ay pumasok na siya sa loob.

It's weird.

I just shrugged it off and entered the store. Hindi ko mapigilang hanapin siya sa loob. Inaakala kong susundan niya ako at tatawagin katulad ng ginawa niya noong nakaraan. He was just probably drunk last time.. but he knows me.

Nang makakuha ako ng kailangan, dumiretso na kaagad ako sa counter. Nakita ko naman ang lalaki na nakaupo sa table malapit sa pintuan ng store. He's drinking a coke in can. I even saw how he is holding it tight.

“Ano, miss? Magbabayad ka ba? I'm in a hurry, umuulan na oh!”

I just stopped from looking at him when a middle-aged woman interrupted my thoughts. Nahuli pa ako ng lalaking nakatingin sa kaniya kaya kaagad akong nagbayad.

“Hindi mo ba talaga ako kilala?” tanong niya nang dumaan ako sa harapan niya.

I took a deep breath and didn't bother to look at him. Nakikita ko mula rito ang ulan na bumubuhos sa labas. Hindi ko alam pero biglang sumikip ang dibdib ko.

“No, I'm sorry. I don't know you..”

Hindi ko maintindihan ang lalaking 'to. Is that a scheme? He would ask if we have ever met before and then he would flirt with me? Ganoon ba iyon? Kasi hindi ko naman siya nakita pa noon o kahit nakilala man lang sa isang party. I'm not forgetful so I clearly remember everyone that I've met before so I'm very sure that he's not a friend of mine or even an acquaintance!

He's just fooling me around! Definitely!

Lumabas na ako sa convenience store kahit malakas na ang buhos ng ulan. My heart is beating so fast when I got inside the building. Nagmamadali pa ako at baka masundan pa ako ng lalaki. Hinahabol ko pa ang paghinga ko nang may makita akong bata sa hallway.

She's holding a lollipop. Her pig tail is kind of messy but she still looks cute on her rompers. Hindi ko na sana papansin dahil biglang sumama ang pakiramdam ko pero nagsalita siya.

“You dropped your keys..”

Hindi ko namalayang nahulog na pala ang susi ko kamamadali. Kaagad kong kinuha iyon at pumasok na sa elevator. The tears are now forming inside my eyes and I don't even know the reason why! I'm getting emotional kahit wala namang nangyari! Simula lang nang makita ko ang lalaking iyon, naging ganito na ako!

What the hell is my problem?

Pumasok ako sa unit at doon na tumulo ang luha ko. Dumiretso ako sa balcony nang makita kong umuulan pa rin. My heart aches while looking at almost every drop of the rainwater.

Should I see a doctor tomorrow? Madalas nang ganito ang nararamdaman ko! Hindi ko maalala kung ganito na rin ba ako dati!

I don't know why but the guy earlier came up into my mind. I think about his face.. his reaction when he saw me.. the way he speaks. He's a completely stranger pero bakit ganito?

Tinigil ko na lang ang pag-iisip. This is wrong. This is very wrong. Hindi ko naman dapat iniisip ang taong iyon!

For the past days, I really tried hard to forget about that freaking guy. Hindi ko alam at apektadong-apektado ako kahit ngayon ko pa lang siya nakita kaya pinili kong sumama kina Rachel sa isang pool party ng isa naming friend. 

I'm not really in the mood to hang out today with other people but because of the thoughts that keep on running in my mind — I decided to just go here instead of sulking inside my unit. Ayaw ko nang magmukmok at baka puntahan pa ako ni Mom at pauwiin. Of course, I don't want that to happen.

“Gumaganda ka, Alindra..”

I smirked when I saw Johnny, one of our high school classmates. “So you mean, hindi ako maganda before? Gano'n ba?”

Ininom ko ang cocktail habang nakalubog ang mga paa ko sa pool. Maybe I'll take a dip later once the sun is already down.

“Of course, you're beautiful.” May mapaglarong ngisi sa labi niya saka lumapit sa akin. He even held my waist. “Mas lalo kang gumaganda habang tumatagal..”

“Bolero.” I rolled my eyes at him. “Hold my drink first..”

Inabot ko sa kaniya ang hawak para makababa nang maayos sa pool at umiwas sa kaniya. Nakaupo na rin siya at nakalubog ang paa.

“I thought you already have a boyfriend? 'Di ba? 'Yong brother ni Rachel?” he said as he came closer to me. Nairita ako bigla. “But why are you still flirting with me. Isn't it---”

“What the hell are you saying, Johnny? Magising ka nga! I'm not even interested in you! Flirting your face!”

Nawalan na ako ng gana at kaagad akong umahon. I heard that they're mocking Johnny when I left him. He's annoying! Kung hindi nga lang maraming tao, baka sinampal ko na ang mukha niya.

How could he even assume that way? Seriously? Ako pa ang lumalandi sa kaniya?

“No fun! No fun! Alindra, come back here! I was just kidding!”

Napailing na lang ako at hindi na siya pinansin. Dumiretso ako kung nasaan sina Rachel. They are talking about something when I got closer to them. Napatingin naman sila sa akin nang dumating ako.

”Oh, anong nangyari do'n?” tanong ni Rachel. She's referring to Johnny.

I rolled my eyes before I looked at their cocktail drinks. “He just assumed that I'm flirting him. Eh hindi naman. Nainis ako. Napahiya tuloy siya..”

Narinig kong tumawa silang lahat. Including the birthday celebrant's friends that I also know. I noticed that they are just beside us — swimming and drinking.

“Buti hindi mo sinampal?” natatawang sabi ni Erica. Napataas ang kilay ko nang makitang naka-oversized shirt siya kahit nasa pool.

“No,” I answered and took one drink when I saw a waiter walking closer to our direction.

“Weh?” Rachel reacted. “How lucky of him, then.”

“How does Johnny become lucky, Rachel? Eh napahiya nga raw siya?” narinig kong tanong ni Lyca — one of Rachel's friends. She's also our batchmate.

“He's lucky na hindi siya nasampal ni Alindra. You know, my friend is maldita. Nabastos siya no'ng high school. Sinampal kaagad niya! Muntik pa siyang ma-guidance!”

I laughed. “Yeah, that's true but I only slapped him because he kissed me without my permission! I don't wanna do it at school 'no..”

Nagtawanan ulit sila sa sinabi ko. May binubulong-bulong pa si Erica kay Milan na may kasamang guy. I don't know his name but he's undeniably hot.

“Sa school lang bawal? Eh how about sa ibang place? Pwede?” narinig kong sabi ng isa pang kaibigan nina Rachel.

“Yes.. maybe in some other places,” I smirked and drank my drink.

“So I can kiss you here? Sa pool?”

“Shut up, Jackson! Gusto mo bang suntukin ka ni Kuya Rylan?”

Napailing na lang ako nang lapitan pa ni Rachel ang tinawag niyang Jackson. She jokingly pulled his hair while they're on the pool. Tumatawa lang ang lalaki sa ginagawa niya.

“Stop, Rach! Nagbibiro lang eh!”

Nagkulitan pa sila sa pool at nakisali naman si Erica. They're now both punching Jackson's arms. I laughed while looking at them and sipped on my cocktail.

“Oh my, I saw a hottie professor!” a girl hurried to us. “Actually, professors! Tatlo sila! Ang guguwapo!”

“So, professor naman ang gusto mo ngayon?” sabi pa ng nasa table. “At bakit may professor dito?”

“Dani probably invited them..”

Hindi ko na lang sila pinansin at nakihalo sa iba pa nilang kaibigan. Rachel held my hand as we jumped high when the music became wild and loud. Gabi na rin at madilim na kaya marami nang disco lights sa paligid. The whole resort is now almost shaking because of the noise and the lights. May bubbles pang bumabagsak — making me more soaking wet now.

“Have you seen Milan?” tanong ko habang sumasayaw pa rin kami ni Rachel malapit sa pool.

“No. Kasama yata ang fling niya.” Rachel chuckled. Napailing na lang ako.

Saktong nakita ko sina Erica at Milan kasama ang tinutukoy ni Rachel. Mas lalo pang naging wild ang mga nasa party nang palitan ng DJ ang music. I made sure that I'll drink a lot tonight. I want to be drunk at least only in this party. Maybe, I'll finally get over these thoughts in my mind once I became wasted.

Or.. do I really want to do this?

Inalis ko ang nasa isip at nagsimula ulit uminom. The waiters are now laughing at me because of how I aggressively grabbed the drink and drank it straight. Yes! I fucking want this! I want to party! I want to be happy! This is me! Hindi ako nagpapatalo sa nararamdaman ko!

One more drink and I found myself kissing someone's lips while we are heading to one of the rooms. The effect of the liquors are now slowly killing me that I don't know what I'm actually doing right now. Namalayan ko na lang na sumusunod ako sa bawat paggalaw ng lalaking nasa harapan ko. He's not familiar. I don't know him but I like the way he moves his tongue inside my mouth.

“Don't.. stop,” I said when the guy stopped from kissing me.

Tumaas ang kilay niya saka ngumisi. I moaned as he caressed my waist up to my chest. I closed my eyes when I felt the heat on his hands while he's touching me. Patuloy pa rin siya sa paghawak at paghalik sa akin nang biglang hindi ko na siya maramdaman. I didn't open my eyes when I became dizzy. Napahawak ako sa noo ko. Narinig ko namang may bumagsak sa sahig at mga mura galing sa pamilyar na boses.

“W-What is happ---”

Hindi ko na makita nang malinaw kung sino ang humila sa akin papasok sa isang room. I'm too drunk to even care about what's happening around me. I lay on the bed and I saw a guy in front of me. I can't clearly see his face but he's wearing a sleeveless top and shorts. It's too dark inside that I can't even see the colors of what he's wearing.

“Rylan, I'm sorry,” I whispered as I slowly closed my eyes.

. . .

Nagising akong masakit ang ulo. It's throbbing. I hurriedly went to the bathroom and puked everything that I drank last night. Naghilamos lang ako bago lumabas. Na-realize kong nasa isang private room ako. Hindi ko na magawang tingnan pa ang kabuoan ng kuwarto nang maalala ko ang nangyari.

My eyes widened when I remembered that I kissed a stranger yesterday night. I was drunk! I didn't know what I was doing!

Naalala ko ring may kasama akong pumasok sa room na 'to kagabi. Iba pa sa lalaking hinalikan ko. I remembered that he even punched the stranger. It's probably Rylan who saved me and stopped me from what I was doing.

“Rylan?”

Inikot ko ang mata sa paligid pero hindi ko siya nakita. I checked the balcony but he isn't also there. I just stopped when my phone beeped. Thank God that I didn't lose it!

Nakita kong maraming messages sina Rachel. May mga missed calls din. They were looking at me last night!

Rachel
Hey, where are you? Lagot ako kay Kuya!!!

I'm going to find you

San kaaa

Hey Alindra!????!!

Umuwi ka na??

Milan

Gaga san u?? Erica to

This is Milan na, Lindra. Where are you we can't find you T__T My head hirts na

*hurts

There are a lot of messages that I didn't open anymore. I just typed my reply that I'm safe and I'm just here inside the private room. They're still probably here, too at hindi rin sila umuuwi pa.

Wala pang isang minuto nang ma-send ko ang reply nang biglang tumawag si Rachel.

“Hey, we were worried! Nandito ka lang din pala sa resort!” Rachel said and I can almost see her frown right now. “Fix yourself na, girl. Susunduin tayo ni Kuya! Mag-explain ka sa kaniya, please! Ako ang mapapagalitan kapag hindi!”

“Bilisan mo, 'te! Naiinip na ako!” Narinig ko pang nagsalita sa kabilang linya si Erica.

I rolled my eyes. “Alright. Alright. Bababa na rin ako in a few minutes..”

I composed myself after I ended the call. Nakita kong may nag-s-swimming na kaagad sa pool nang makababa ako. Good thing that I saw my friends immediately. They're now on the gate — they must be waiting for Rylan to fetch us.

“Good morning. Kanina pa kayo rito?” bungad ko sa kanila nang makalapit.

“Lindra!” Milan beamed and hugged me immediately when she saw me. “We thought that something bad happened to you na kaya ka nawala. Were you with someone kagabi?”

“Huh? O-Of course, not!”

Nilapitan ko na lang si Rachel nang makita kong nakatingin siya sa akin.

“Kuya's already here..”

I don't know what's the reason why my heart beats faster than usual when I heard that from Rachel. I also saw Rylan — walking closer to where we are right now.

“Sumakay na kayo sa kotse,” he said. He didn't even bother to look at me.

Nagkatinginan kami ni Rachel. Nagmadali kaming apat na sumakay sa loob ng kotse ni Rylan. He's obviously mad right now. I want to immediately explain to him but I want to do it privately.

Umupo ako sa passenger's seat. Nasa likod naman sina Rachel. Tahimik lang kami buong biyahe. Rylan is also quiet and it's so awkward. He's not talking to me and even to his sister. Kahit si Erica at Milan na madaldal — nahiya na ring magsalita.

Does Rylan know that I kissed someone last night? That's why he's mad at me?

I just stopped from what I'm thinking when he suddenly stopped from driving for a moment and fixed my seatbelt. Narinig kong may tumikhim sa likuran namin.

“Thanks..”

Again, he didn't look at me. Tuloy-tuloy lang siyang nag-drive hanggang sa makarating na kami sa bahay nina Erica which is next to Milan's.

“Oh, bakit bababa ka rin?” Rylan asked when Rachel is about to follow Erica and Milan.

Ngumiti naman nang kaunti si Rachel. “May naiwan akong stuff kina Milan! You two should talk! Bye!”

Tatawagin ko pa sana si Rachel nang bigla niyang isarado ang pinto ng kotse. Napahinga ako nang malalim nang ma-realize kong kaming dalawa na lang ni Rylan sa loob. I thought he wouldn't speak up to me but after a few minutes, he looked at me and finally spoke.

“Uminom ka pala last night? You didn't tell me,” mababa ang boses niya nang tanungin ako.

“You know that I was going to a pool party with my friends and your sister. Of course, iinom talaga ako..”

Tumitig siya sa akin. “And for sure, nalasing ka..”

Hindi ako umimik. I'm getting pissed now but I'm trying to remain calm. I made a mistake last night. I won't do it again today. Not when he's mad.

“Dapat sinundo na lang pala kita kagabi..”

Napakunot ang noo ko nang magsalita siya ulit. “You mean to say.. you weren't there last night?”

“Yes. Maaga akong natulog. Why?” Mas kalmado na siya ngayon.

“N-Nothing..”

If it wasn't Rylan who punched the guy and pulled me inside the room then who was it? I looked at Rylan when he started to drive again.

Now, I'm getting more confused.

... ... ...