Chapter 15

I looked up at our mansion that next to our resort. Malayo pa lang ay natatanaw ko na ang mga guest sa resort na tumitingin sa akin. I'm even hearing some commotions when I walked closer. I'm pretty sure that they already knew me.

“Ma'am Alindra! Bumalik na kayo!”

Leandro immediately saw me when I went inside  the resort. He's smiling though I can see that he's a bit shocked. I'm too preoccupied to even care about what I'm seeing right now.

Nilibot ko ang tingin sa paligid bago siya binalingan ulit. “Where's Dad?”

“Nasa loob, Ma'am. May meeting. Ang tagal ka niyang hinanap. For sure, matutuwa 'yon kapag nakita kayo..."

Hindi ko na pinakinggan ang kung ano mang sinasabi ni Leandro at dumiretso na ako sa lobby — papunta sa conference room. While I'm walking on the hallway, almost all of the people are gazing at me especially the staffs that I passed by. Naririnig ko rin ang bulungan nila pero wala akong pakialam.

I didn't come here to impress anyone or to show off. I have more important things to do than that.

I'm just staring blankly — directly to the two-door conference room. Naabutan kong nakatayo ang secretary ni Dad malapit doon. As expected, she was surprised when she saw me.

“Ma'am Alindra!” she called me. Nanlaki naman ang mata niya lalo nang makitang bubuksan ko na ang pinto ng conference room. “M-May meeting pa po si Sir Alesso, Ma'am. Malapit na po silang matapos---”

“I don't care! I need to talk to him!”

I'm about to open the door when someone spoke behind me. Natigilan naman ako.

“Alindra, darling. Why don't you wait first? Your Dad's still on the meeting. Hindi ba makakapaghintay ‘yang sasabihin mo, anak?”

I don't know what to say when I finally saw my Mom again after couple of weeks. She's not smiling although her voice was too sweet and it's making me disgusted. She's back with her luxurious bag and white classy coordinates. She's even wearing a sunglasses here inside the resort! Those stuffs were all from my Dad's money! Hindi sa kaniya!

I don't want to make a scene here so I tried to calm myself as I closed my eyes. Kahit galit ako at gustong-gusto kong magtanong sa kaniya, pinigilan ko ang sarili. Especially that we're in front of many people, I don't want to humiliate her. For the reason that, she's still a part of my family even when she cheated.

Dala-dala niya pa rin ang pangalan namin.

“It can't wait, Mom. It's very important,” I said, emphasizing the word Mom.

Wala na akong pakialam sa sasabihin ni Mom at tuluyan ko nang binuksan ang pinto at kaagad din iyong sinarado. The stares of the people inside the room welcomed me.

“Dad, can I talk to you?” I directly looked at Dad. Saka lang niya ako napansin.

His eyes widened in surprise. “Alindra, anak? You're back!”

“Dad, please..”

I didn't mind the happiness in his eyes. Kahit kita kong naguguluhan siya, sinunod niya ang sinabi ko.

“Alright. Meeting adjourned,” Dad told them and they all left in an instant. Tumingin naman sa akin si Dad. “Hindi ko muna tatanungin kung saan ka nanggaling o kung sino ang nakahanap sa ‘yo. Masaya ako na nandito ka na ulit but I have a feeling that you're about to say something important that's why you came here. What is that?”

I took a deep breath. “Please do me a favor...”

. . .

Several days have already passed. I'm now back again in our mansion — just staring at the horizon in front. Malamig ang simoy ng hangin kahit pa umaga pa lang at medyo masakit sa balat ang araw.

I'm sipping on my juice here at the veranda of my room. Tanaw ko sa baba sina Mom at Dad na nakaupo sa tapat ng aming Spanish inspired garden.

Everytime I see my mother, I can't help but to be mad at her. I always think about her infidelity everytime I'm seeing her with Dad. Hindi ko siya kinakausap kapag nagkakasabay kaming kumain sa hapag-kainan. I just always fake my smile when she's in front of me. Like everything's just fine. Na parang wala siyang ginawa.

I know that Yves and I agreed that I'll finally face my problem with my Mom and I'll try to fix it once I go back. But because of my pride at dahil na rin siguro sa kagustuhan kong buo lang ang pamilya namin — I decided to just keep this to myself even if it hurts me so bad — thinking that I'm somehow tolerating her to do bad things to our family.

“Hija, Miss Yangco's here..”

Walang gana kong nilingon si Mom na naka-robe pa. Hindi na ako nagulat nang makita siya. I'm on my way to get out of my room when she spoke.

“I was gone for weeks.. at nalaman ko na nawala ka pala at hinahanap ka ng Daddy mo? He was even willing to give a reward---”

I lazily looked at her. “I just had a vacation with Rachel. Nandito siya ngayon if you don't know..”

Hindi ko na pinakinggan pa ang sasabihin ni Mom at bumaba na sa living room. Miss Geraldine Yangco is already there sitting on one of our couches. I'd rather listen to her lessons than to listen to Mom's nonsense words.

Hindi ko alam kung paano ko nakakayanang makita siya. Nagtitiis lang talaga ako. I have no other choice but to stay with her even if I don't really want to anymore.

“Good morning, Miss Alindra,” she greeted with a pleasant smile on her lips.

She looks so classy even if she only wears a plain white polo top today that serves as her uniform.

“Magandang umaga rin sa ‘yo, Miss Yangco. Shall we start now?”

I confidently walked towards her to sat down in front of the mini table. Pinanatili kong kalmado ang sarili kahit kahaharap ko lang kay Mom.

“Actually, this is not yet the start of our lesson. I just want to ask you some questions before we begin,” sabi niyang may kaunting ngiti sa labi. “Did someone kidnap you kaya ka nawala? Is there something bad happened?”

Kumunot ang noo ko nang marinig ang tanong niya. I sarcastically laughed. “Is this an interview, Miss? Kung oo, hindi ko masasagot ang mga tanong mo..”

I looked at her straight. She's just calm and sitting pretty on my left. I don't trust her. Hindi ko alam kung ano mayro'n. Simula lang nang makita ko silang magkasama ng governor ay parang nawalan ako ng tiwala sa kaniya. There's just something off and I can't explain it.

“I just want to know what exactly happened to you. Kasi if you were kidnapped or something happened, it can cause you trauma. It might affect your life, your performance. Gusto ko lang itanong. I hope you don't mind,” sabi niya saka sumimsim sa tsaa na nasa harapan.

Why did she suddenly become curious about what happened to me?

“Alright.” Tumango ako. “Walang kidnapping na nangyari. I was just away for weeks.. with my friend. That's it. Don't worry, Miss. Hindi ‘yon makakaapekto sa performance ko sa class.”

I smiled sweetly at her even if I really want to roll my eyes right now.

Tumango naman siya. “That's good, then. Honestly, I was shocked when I knew from your father that you want to just stay here in your house. Bihira lang kasi ang nasa senior high school na gustong mag-homeschool na lang. Well, it really depends on the situation...”

Hindi ako nakasagot sa sinasabi niya nang biglang pumunta sa harapan ko si Sonya. Inilapag niya sa harapan ko ang isang libro.

I raised my brow at her. “Ano ‘to? I mean, alam kong libro 'to but what is this for?”

“Ah, w-wala po. Basahin niyo lang, ma'am. Balik na po ako sa ginagawa ko..”

Miss Yangco and I both looked at each other when Sonya walked away from us. My forehead creased more because of that.

“That's weird,” Miss Yangco murmured.

Tiningnan ko ang libro na binigay ni Sonya. There's nothing special about it. It has a title To Live and to Die. I just stopped from scanning the book when I suddenly saw my Mom that is slowly going downstairs. Gusto ko na lang umalis bigla nang makita siya.

Nawalan na ako ng gana.

“Oh, where are you going?” sabi ni Mom nang mapansin niyang tumayo ako sa kinauupuan.

“We're now done. Right, Miss Yangco?”

I saw that she's a bit hesitant pero tumango naman din kalaunan. “Uh, yes. Madali lang kaming natapos ngayon. Today's just for introduction to our next sessions..”

“Excuse me...”

Taas-noo kong tiningnan si Mom bago naglakad palayo sa kanila. I'm holding back my emotions inside me. My hands are also trembling while holding the book that Sonya gave me a moment ago. I looked at the book again only to see a piece of paper. Hindi ko na sana papansinin pa nang bigla iyong mahulog.

Kumunot naman ang noo ko nang mabasa ang nakasulat doon.

Pumunta ka sa lugar kung saan tayo unang nagkita. Hihintayin kita.

My forehead creased even more. I don't know who wrote this note but I have someone in my mind. Nagulat naman ako nang makita ko si Sonya sa may backdoor ng aming mansion. Muntik ko pang mabitiwan ang note na hawak.

I came closer and showed the note to her. “Nakalagay ba talaga 'to sa libro?”

“O-Opo, ma'am,” nauutal niyang sabi saka tumango. I noticed that she's panicking. “Kay Kuya Yves Marcus po galing ang sulat na ’yan. Magkita raw po kayo. Hindi pwedeng malaman ng Mommy niyo..”

“What?! Wait.. I'll just prepare. Samahan mo ako...”

I hurriedly went inside my room to fix myself again. I'm now panicking! Baka malaman ni Mom ang tungkol dito!

I changed my clothes into a floral dress. I don't feel like leaving with a romper right now. It makes me a bit uncomfortable to move. I also put a light makeup on my face. Patingin-tingin ako sa oras pati sa pinto.

“Maganda na po kayo, ma'am. Hindi niyo na kailangang mag-ayos. Si Kuya Yves lang naman ang kikitain niyo,” pangiti-ngiting sabi ni Sonya. Hindi ko namalayang nakasunod nga pala siya sa akin.

I stopped putting a tinted sunscreen for a moment to look at her in the mirror. “Just shut up!”

But at the back of my head, I'm also asking myself like why am I even doing this right now? Well, I'm sure it's not because I want to impress Yves. I just feel like I want to put on makeup today. Iyon lang iyon. Wala namang ibang dahilan!

I carried my purse and the new phone that Dad gave to me as I say, “let's go..”

“P-Po? Hindi po ako pwedeng sumama. Mapapagalitan---”

I didn't let her finish her sentence anymore as I held her wrist and pulled it. Pababa na sana kami ng hagdan nang makasalubong namin si Mom. Katapat ko lang siya kaya napaatras ako.

Masyadong lumiliit ang mansion para sa aming dalawa at lagi na lang kaming nagkikita!

“I'm just gonna roam around. Pupunta rin ako sa hotel nina Rachel,” sabi ko bago pa siya magtanong.

Tumaas ang kilay niya. “With that maid?”

I confidently nodded. “I need someone to accompany me. Taga-dala ng mga gamit namin ni Rachel. Bawal ba, Mom?”

“Of course, it's fine with me! Take care!”

Pasimple akong umirap saka nagmamadaling bumaba kasama si Sonya sa likuran ko.

“Sweetie, you don't hug me anymore..”

I just stopped from walking when I heard my Mom said that. I don't know but I suddenly want to cry at this moment. My mother is strict and not so sweet but we're very close to each other. Ngayon bigla na lang iyong nagbago. I just want to stay away from her even if we're only staying in one roof.

Hindi ko na ulit nilingon pa si Mom at dumiretso na sa labas. I sighed. Hindi ako sigurado kung saan kami unang nagkita ni Yves. He said that we'll meet there. I don't even know the exact time. He didn't say it!

Dumaan kami sa dalampasigan. Saka ko naalala na doon kami nagkita ni Yves. I was almost drowned that time but then he saved me. I wasn't wrong when I think of that as I saw Yves that is sitting on a big rock formation. From there, he can't see us yet.

“Dito lang muna ako, ma'am. Hihintayin ko na lang kayong matapos mag-usap,” sabi ni Sonya nang lingunin ko siya.

“Are you sure?”

Tumango naman siya. I took a deep breath as I started to walk towards Yves' direction. I don't know why but I suddenly became timid.

Hindi dapat ganito!

Hindi pa ako tuluyang nakakalapit kay Yves nang tumalon siya pababa at bumagsak sa mismong harapan ko. I'm supposed to say something when he immediately hugged me without hesitation.

“Y-Yves, what are you doing?”

He didn't answer. Nakayakap lang siya sa akin. His hug is not too tight. It's as if making me calm in an uncertain way. Uncertain because I'm so confused with what he's doing. I'm somehow calm because that's what I feel. Hindi masyadong magkadikit ang mga katawan namin pero ramdam na ramdam ko ang pagtibok ng puso niya. Mabagal.. pero biglang bibilis.

If we're on a different situation, I'll probably slap him for hugging me. Ewan ko lang ngayon at hindi ko alam ang gagawin.. kung anong sasabihin at kung ano ang dapat maramdaman.

Did he even say something on what I should feel right now that he's doing this?

He's just making this hard. Well, at least just for me.

“Hindi ako hihingi ng tawad sa pagyakap ko sa ‘yo. Hayaan mo lang akong gawin 'to bilang pasasalamat ko sa ‘yo,” he told me and he got out of hug after a moment.

Natigilan ako saka kunwaring kumunot ang noo. “And why? Wala naman akong ginagawa.”

“Nalaman ko kay Mr. Alesso na humingi ka ng pabor sa kaniya. You told him to pay for the hospital bill kapalit ng kaunting panahon na pagtuloy mo sa amin..”

Nanlaki ang mata ko sa sinabi niya. I didn't expect that Dad will reveal it to him! Akala ko sa amin lang dalawa iyon!

Now I'm upset.

“Dad should've just kept it to himself.” I rolled my eyes.

“Hindi mo ba.. gustong malaman ko ang ginawa mo? Malaking tulong ‘yon, Alindra. Tatanawin naming malaking utang na loob ni Lola...”

Umiwas ako ng tingin sa kaniya. I don't know what to say. Mula rito, natatanaw ko si Sonya na hindi naman nakatingin sa amin.

Did she even see that Yves hugged me a while ago?

“Nahihiya.. lang ako..”

And there I said it!

“Bakit ka naman nahihiya?” tanong ni Yves. I was shocked when I saw him smiling widely and he's so close to me!

Huminga ako nang malalim. “Just forget about it..”

“Hindi ko makakalimutan ‘yon. Sorry..”

I looked at him again. I hate that he's smiling like there's no tomorrow anymore. Napaupo na lang ako sa maliit na bato paharap sa malawak na dagat ng Puricia Grittonia. Rachel invited me to their hotel to watch some movies before we have a night swimming but I chose to meet Yves today.

Ewan ko ba. I just felt like he would say something important.

“Kayo na ni Regina?” I broke the silence after a few minutes.

Nakita ko namang umupo rin siya paharap sa dagat pero may kalayuan sa akin.

Sumeryoso ang mukha niya. “Ikaw? Hinarap mo na ba ang problema ng pamilya niyo?”

I rolled my eyes. “Don't dodge the topic! Ikaw ang tinatanong ko!”

“Kapag naging kami ba.. matutuwa ka?” Natahimik ako sa sinabi niya. “Honestly, hindi ko alam kung bakit pinipilit mo kaming dalawa. Alam kong may gusto siya sa akin pero katulad ko, hanggang pagkakaibigan lang din ang gusto niya. Hindi na hihigit pa ro'n..”

His words hit me. Gusto ko na lang lamunin ako ng buhangin at tangayin ng alon dahil wala akong masagot!

What's your real reason, Alindra? Huh?

Kahit ako hindi na rin sigurado!

“Well, I thought you both like each other at natotorpe ka lang. I just wanted to help,” namamaos kong sabi sa kaniya.

“Alindra, kapag may gusto ako sa isang tao.. hindi ko na kailangan pang humingi ng tulong sa iba,” he said while directly looking at my eyes. “Hindi na rin kailangang ipilit pa..”

“Alright, then. I won't force you anymore and just forget about our agreement last time!”

Tumayo ako patalikod sa kaniya at umirap. I don't understand him! Really! He's so complicated! Hindi ko siya matimpla! Ang gulo!

O baka.. ako lang talaga ang may problema?

... ... ...