what the hell had happened?

the last thing he remembered before the world had spun off his axis was a blinding pain in his chest before it spread everywhere as if he had just been struck by lightning.

no, scratch that, as if he had just been eletrocuted by all the power lines in the whole dang universe.

but now he was in a void of darkness.

he realized his eyes were closed.

since when, how long, he didn't know.

he opened his eyes; the room he was in smelled unpleasant, that was for sure.

smelled like disgusting, rotting flesh.

he was lying down, so all he could see was the gray ceiling. which, keith might add, was spattered with blood--both dark and bright. some of it looked fresh.

is some of it mine? he wondered. keith tried craning his neck down to look at himself, but he found that he couldn't. he also tried to move his arms, legs, anything, but he couldn't. only his eyes.

a drop of blood fell from the ceiling and landed on his nose, and he let out a cry mingled with disgust and surprise. he was astonished at how small and hoarse his voice sounded.

suddenly a sense of foreboding came over keith. someone was approaching. who? maybe shiro, lance, to explain what was happening? where was he?

this was surely nowhere in the castle-- the castle didn't have blood on the ceilings, and it was never this quiet unless everyone was asleep and it was lights out.

but the lights were on; the lights were out of his view, but definitely on. his eyes were watering from how bright they were.

"hello, paladin." a sneering, cruel voice spoke.

suddenly he could move, and so, of course, keith immediately snapped his head in the direction of the familiar voice.

haggar.

she must've took off some spell to make him unable to move. one that dreaded witch casted, of course.

everything after that unpleasant greeting was a blur of pain.

all he could remember from the moments inbetween were probing questions.

"tell me planets you have crossed that aren't under the galra empire's name."

"how do i track down the castle?"

"how can i track down the lions?"

the questions went on and on; just thinking about them made his head throb in pain.

everytime he met her answers with stubborn silence or verbally insulted her, and then he would recieve an eletric shock--always somehow worst then the last.

he couldn't even run. he was pinned on those things you see in movies; metal chairs, inclined backwards with seemingly inescapable cuffs.

"did you know i knew your mother?"

crap.

haggar had seen him, just oh-so-slightly tense, and that's when she knew she had another thing on her small list of things to use against the poor red paladin.

"she was a horrible person." haggar snorted, trailing a claw along keith's bare chest, forming a somewhat deep cut. keith didn't even flinch.

"betrayal. treason. all those words nobody likes to hear. she was all of those." haggar snarled, disdain heavy in her voice.

"but we got her back, and we messed her up oh-so bad, but i promise, sweet one, that we'll mess you up even more, you mutt." she snarled, suddenly lashing out and striking keith hard across the face.

keith was surprised, crying out in shock and pain. blood blurred his vision, and he squeezed his eyes shut tight.

he had no clue what haggar meant by mutt. probably just trying to grind on his nerves; she couldn't possibly know his mother, either; she probably died down on earth or was living a happy life without him. he had no clue.

°°°

he was losing hope.

your friends would have come by now if they care about you, a voice whispered in his head. it sounded just like him, but sour--meaner, crueler.

truthful.

he shook those thoughts away. of course his team cared about him.

he'd been around with shiro so long--they enjoyed the garrisson together so much, the only place he felt truly at home before voltron.

pathetic--you're a dropout! can't you see shiro is deeply disappointed in you? can't even keep your temper in control.

he knew he needed to stick to positive thoughts, get this stupid doppelganger voice out of his head--because it couldn't be his, not truly, just an illusion haggar added, surely.

so he thought of pidge instead. she would never hate him, right? he remembered many nights they had bonded over conspiracy theories, sharing laughs while hunk and lance just rolled their eyes and either left or fell asleep.

are you blind, you mutt? she only interacts with you because she must for voltron. after you yelled at her for trying to go off and find her family, did you ever think she truly forgived you?

lance. lance would never hate him. they had bonded. they held hands. they always stood and sat so close together, way closer then he usually got with pidge, hunk, or even shiro! it all has to mean something.

going on about bonding, bonding, bonding. selfish thinking you're doing--he only remembers the bonding moment when he wants to use you.

"shut up!" keith screamed aloud, hoarse voice somehow echoing around the room, he heard himself yelling those two words endlessly, bouncing around in his eardrums, thrumming against his skull.

he lost count of how long he has been here.

a few days? a week? a month?

time seemed to pass excruciatingly slow.

keith knew one day he had been lying in a puddle of his own blood. another day he had seen, when walking past a shiny pole whilst being escorted by a guard, his face.

he had a black eye, was squinting forevermore, and had millioms of bruises and cuts all over his face. he could've sworn his lips were a bit blue. also his hair was longer and more unkempt, thought there were some parts where it seemed to be singed off.

his face was so purple and red from blood and bruises it was a wonder he could even glimpse his ghost-like, pale skin.

°°°

many things happened, everyday, always changing.

°°°

he hadn't eaten ever since he came.

some day--how was he supposed to keep track?--food was brought. keith had given up--lost all his will except to keep his remaining friends safe.

he ignored the plate of food that sat in front of him.

°°°

keith was unsure what he was here for anymore: information or entertainment?

it was probably both.

he didn't care.

his hands twitched every now and then, as if yearning for something to hold, to break.

break worse than they broke him.