tw:: major angst, character death ‼️

너와 함께라면, 그만한 가치가 있어

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The cold morning, with the gray sky and the rain pattering gently against the window, welcomed huening kai to a new day.

damn.

alive again? he hated it. being alive sucked.

he just wanted to die.

.

kai was the silly, happy guy that always made everyone laugh

on everyone's point of view, huening kai was just a funny guy that enjoyed life and lived his best everyday

kai loved that reputation. he loved being known as the goofy guy. as the happy guy

nothing could be further from reality

when he was all alone, kai cried a lot

he was already tired. tired of faking everyday, tired of crying everyday, tired of being alone.

he knew many people. he knew he could open up, talk to anyone, tell everyone how he hated himself, how he hurt himself everyday, how he had stopped eating, how his parents didn't care.

but he was afraid. he was afraid people wouldn't understand. he was afraid he would ruin his reputation. he just wanted to be happy, even if it was just a farce.

it was worth it, as long as everyone believed he was happy.

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taehyun wasn't a lucky guy.

his life got worse and worse everyday

he wondered many things. why didn't he have any friends? he was a nice guy, he was kind, he tired, at least. so, why did people hate him? why did his parents hit him? he was intelligent, he was hard working. so why was he not enough for his parents?

he didn't understand why he was so worthless. he didn't understand what was he alive for.

in school, he was so jealous of that one guy...huening kai? that was his name

he envied kai's happiness. he also wanted to be that happy, that carefree

he wanted to be like kai.

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going to school was a pain in the ass.

kai hated it, because going to school meant faking again, it meant having a big smile on his face,it meant being kind to everyone...it meant slowly breaking himself apart more and more.

he walked towards school, with his guts ringing. he hadn't eaten in days. but he wasn't hungry. food disgusted him, actually, he felt as if he would threw up any moment.

but he couldn't skip school. if he did, his classmates would wonder why. he didn't want them to ask about that. because, if they did, then it would hurt more to fake.

so, with his guts twitching painfully, he kept on walking.

ready for a new day. hoping it would be the last.

.

taehyun carefully went out of his bedroom, already ready for school. he gazed at his mother, sleeping. probably high or drunk.

he sighed. it was better not to wake her up.

he tiptoed towards the door, and finally left the house he hated, to then walk towards the school he hated.

while he walked, he looked at his phone, checking if he had any new messages.

nothing, as always. taehyun was a loner

he hadn't got any friends. he hadn't got a partner, no one that would care about him. his parents hated him. teachers found him weird. everyone found him weird.

taehyun was sure that no one would notice if he disappeared. he was sure no one would care.

he could feel the tears welling up in his eyes, but he fought the back. he hated crying. he hated being weak.

so he just suffered in silence. and it hurt, yeah. but taehyun didn't care. he was tired, and nothing mattered anymore.

he was sure he'd be gone soon. it's not like anyone would worry. it's not like anyone would realize.

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kai smiled at the girls who greeted him in the school entrance. he also smiled at the science teacher, who was entering the school at the same time as him.

every smile hurt like a bullet for him. he hated it.

he saw kang taehyun walking almost next to him. he liked that guy. he was intelligent, hard working and good at sports. everything kai wasn't.

he smiled at taehyun too, and received a smile back.

kai stopped for a second. that smile was...like his? it looked fake. just like his.

he stared at taehyun's back while the older boy left. was he like him?

was he tired of faking too?

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taehyun found kai interesting. he was known for being so happy and fun to be around, but...kai's smile was waeird. there was something weird.

it was a smile, yes, but it wasn't a happy smile...it was a tired smile, somehow...? was kai like him? kai, the boy he was jealous of, the silly, always happy guy was like him?

tae couldn't bring himself to believe it. maybe kai was just tired. or maybe taehyun was seeing things

yeah, it must be that. kai would never be like him.

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pursued by curiosity, kai headed to taehyun's classroom. he wanted to know more about him, he needed to know more about him.

he finally found him

"hey...kang taehyun?"

the older guy looked at him, with kind of wide eyes

"uhm, yes, that's me"

kai smiled bitterly

"do you think you're up for a talk"

.

"are you ok?"

the question hit taehyun like a whip. no one had ever asked him that. no one had ever cared about him.

"no...no, im not. ive never been, and ill never be. i appreciate you caring, I really do."

kai smiled. but, not faking this time. he showed taehyun the realest smile he had.

taehyun felt like crying when he felt kai's soft gaze looking at him

"but, you...are you ok?"

kai closed his eyes in surrender, the morning sun hitting his face

"no, no. no im not. i just want to be gone forever, i bet you understand that."

taehyun smiled. it was hard revealing this, and it hurt, but he was happy to know that someone felt like him. that someone understood him.

"maybe...we can be gone together"

the idea made kai's stomach flutter. it sounded good. dying. leaving. being free.

and he wouldn't be scared with someone by his side. with taehyun by his side.

.

both guys met on taehyun's apartment terrace, late at night

no one cared, no one would ever care anyway.

they were sitting, two inches away from falling into the void

"i wish we had talked more"

kai whispered, with a sad smile adorning his face

taehyun opened his big eyes and looked at kai with a soft gaze

kai almost cried, seeing those tired, soft eyes looking at him

"yeah...i think i like you"

kai smiled. his grip on the olders hand tightened.

"do you think we'll meet again, in another life?"

taehyun smiled, his cheeks burning

"most definitely "

and, like that, they threw themselves into the night void, because they'd finally found each other

and they were sure they would meet again

ʚɞ

hiiii guys !! i already fixed all the grammatical errors in the oneshot, so i've republished it

thanks for reading <3