"I don't wanna swim the ocean
I don't wanna fight the tide
I don't wanna swim forever
When it's cold, I'd like to die"

Anthony smiled as he made his way outside of The Holloway's Household.  "Thank you again Mr and Mrs Holloway."  Anthony said. 

"Our pleasure.  You get home safe, alright?"  Mr. Holloway said and Anthony nodded.

"Of course.  Merry Christmas."  He nodded.

"Merry Christmas."  The two said back before going outside as Heather smiled. 

"Thanks again."  She said to Anthony.

"It was fun.  I don't remember the last time I decelerated a gingerbread house."  Anthony let out a nervous laugh and Heather let out a laugh as well. 

"I was wondering why you put so much coconut on yours."  She pointed out and he shook his head.

"Tell your parents I say hi and Merry Christmas."  Heather told Anthony and he nodded.

"Of course.  Bye Heather."

"Get home safe."  She hugged him tightly before pulling away.  She watched him get into his car before he drove off.

As soon as Anthony got out of her sight his smile dropped.  Easy act.  No one knew that it was fake and no one knew that he was drowning.  He drove to the cemetery before he got out into the cold and walked.  The snow crunched below his feet before he came to a stop, kneeling down as his hand brushed away the snow. He just stared at the stone in front of him.

Victoria Parker
1967-1983
Our Daughter & Sister
"I am the diamond glints on snow"

"You always loved the snow." Anthony spoke out loud. "You and your snow angels. You would always come in soaked. Remember?" He let out a small laugh, smiling before it dropped.

"I know you were obsessed with that poem that's why it's written and it's about how you're not." He gestured to the stone he was talking to. "But, I don't know where else to talk to you at." He shook his head and let out a sigh before turning around and leaning on the headstone.

"I just wish Heaven had a phone so I could hear your voice one last time.."

~~~

"Anthony come on! It's Christmas." Mrs. Parker banged on his bedroom door. "Your father and I have been waiting." She banged again but there was no answer.

"Anthony." She sighed. "I know you're listening." She paused for a moment before continuing. "Just because this is our first Christmas without Tori doesn't mean we aren't celebrating." Again. There was no answer.

She put her hand on the knob. "That's it I'm coming in." She opened the door and her eyes widened as she looked at Anthony who was sitting on the ground against the bed with crushed beer cans and empty bottles of liquor all over there floor.

Anthony pulled at his hair before looking up at his mom with red eyes and tear stained cheeks. His lips trembled as he just stared at her.

"Anthony. What-honey." His mother quickly went over to his side as he grabbed her hand tightly, looking her in the eyes as if he was pleading for her. He was.

"Mom...I need help." Anthony cried as Mrs. Parker pulled her son into her embrace, holding him tightly as she shushed him.

"You're okay. You're okay." She reassured him as tears pricked her eyes. It hurt her to see her son in this state. She knew he had a drinking problem but she didn't think it was this bad.

Anthony pulled away from his mother as he looked into her eyes, shaking his head slightly.  "It's my fault Tori is dead.  It's my fault".  His voice cracked at the end as more tears spilled from his eyes.

"No.  No.  Honey, it's not your fault".  She grabbed his face gently with his hands.

"Yes it is.  I should've taken her home.  I left her alone".  His lips trembled as he took a gasping breath from every emotion he was feeling.

"I-I let her die alone"

3 Months Later...

"No problem. Have a great rest of your day." An officer placed the phone back down as he ate from his sandwich. He looked at the newspaper in front of him as a few officers walked down the hall then complete silence took over the front desk.

The sound of the station door opening brought his attention as he looked up from his sandwich, his eyes widening of what he saw. "Holy shit." He muttered before dropping his sandwich and reaching over to his walkie and pressing it.

"Uhhh. Hopper?"

"What is it now Griffin?" Hopper asked, clearly irritated by the man.

"You're going to want to come back to the station." Griffin told him.

"I just left. Whatever weird joke you need to tell me can either be said now or wait till I come in later. It's almost one in the morning." Hopper told him seriously.

"This isn't a joke and you're going to want to come back." Griffin didn't take his eyes away at every word he was saying.

"And why is that?" Hopper rolled his eyes.

"Because Victoria Parker is standing right in front of me..."