Veronica's POV

"I feel like shit. It makes me so uncomfortable that others know what happened to me and don't seem to be able to let it go."

My therapist writes it down.

"Do you regret telling them?"

I look into her eyes. "I do." I sigh. "If I could go back I wouldn't have told anyone. I would have continued trying to forget what happened."

"But you wouldn't have healed, you can't heal something you don't acknowledge."

"I'm not healing now either! My friends keep reminding me that I'm broken even when I beg them to let it go."

"They sound like bad friends," she says and I widen my eyes.

Are they really?

Should I tell her the reason behind their refusal to let go?

"They want to avenge me."

The surprise on her face is bigger than I thought. Right, I have to remember she is a normal person. She doesn't think like us.

What can a group of teenagers really do? This isn't a movie.

"How?"

"Well, it doesn't matter anymore since they promised they'd stop." Or at least Derek did.

Do I trust Derek? Yes. He knows that by continuing to investigate despite his promise, he will lose me.

I accepted so many things but I'm not going to accept people lying to me and deceiving me about my traumatic past.

"Derek said he was coming with me to help me report that man," I admit.

"That sounds like a good thing, isn't it?"

"Yeah. Only if I was ready. But I'm not. Yet I still have to do it. It's the right thing."

She notes it down, which makes me quite nervous. I always wonder how does she even even decide which fucked up thing I said to write down.

"What are you going to do when they catch him? Do you think you will feel better?"

Never thought about this.

"No. Nothing can really make me feel better. Maybe I will feel less nervous but him being behind bars for five fucking years isn't enough for what he did to me." My eyes sting and I blink many times to stop the tears from forming.

"Considering he assaulted you twice, the first time being when you were underage, and almost tried to kill you, no, he won't be in prison for five years. It will be for way longer," she tries to reassure me but it just hurts so much more. The gravity of his actions dawn on me. Since I was underage and a virgin the first time, it matters more. It hurts more. Abuse is all I knew.

I look at the clock, only five minutes left.

"Since you told me the 'I love you' exercise I gave you went well, I have another for you."

I wait for her to continue.

"Say it to Derek."

~

After I am done with my class, I go to my- Nicole's dorm—which still makes me feel like shit since I left it but Derek isn't the worst person to live with—and she opens the door before I knock.

She comes out of the room with Cyprian wrapped around her. They both stop smiling when they see me, as if they have been caught in the act.

"What a nice surprise," I say sarcastically

"Oh, right we were supposed to meet up. I'm sorry! I forgot," Nicole says and I roll my eyes.

Sure she had better things to do... with this supposed twin that is always up in my business.

I wanted to talk to him and I hoped it wouldn't happen this soon but I guess have to cause a scene now, in the hallway.

Luckily no one is around.

"What I am confused about is why the fuck you were looking for him?" I ask Cyprian, my eyebrows furrowed. He knows I'm not going to let it slide.

"What is she talking about?" Nicole turns to him and I laugh.

Of course he didn't tell her. Now, why would he? He is always caught lying.

A bad liar, that's what he is. One more reason to not consider him my brother.

"Uh, can we talk in private?"

Nicole scoffs at the same moment as I do.

"No. Tell us who the fuck you think you are," I yell.

"I just wanted to help yo-"

"I've heard this phrase enough. But at least those people were actually my friends."

"I'm your brother," he retorts.

"I'm still confused," Nicole adds in.

"He decided to investigate my rapist with Irène, Dom and Derek."

Nicole gasps. She turns to him again. "Is that why you are hanging out with me?"

"No? Nicole, it's not about you. I am hanging out with you because I like you, and I'm protecting Veronica because she is my family."

"I'm not your family," I cut him off.

He furrows his eyebrows. "You know what? I didn't do anything to you. Why are you blaming it all on me?"

"Really? What about the time you used Nicole and thrashed my room? Is that nothing?" I spit.

"Get over it. I did it to find you. I had no other choice."

"So using me was just... convenient to you, as if I'm collateral damage?" Nicole asks with tears in her eyes.

"I thought we put this over to the side..." he says as he reaches to grab her hand.

"No. Since you continue lying and not respecting Ronnie's choice."

I sigh. I don't want them to fight. I just want him to stay away from me. Nicole can do whatever she wants.

"Nicole, leave it," I say. "Cyprian, stop looking for him. I might be your sister but we will never be close. I don't even want Derek to do this for me, what makes you think you are above him?"

He nods as he looks down. Nicole still seems upset but she lets him touch her hand.

"I am going to see my mom tonight... have a good day," I say to Nicole as I walk away before they can even reply back.

Now that Derek and I are somewhat kind of trying to date, I have to tell my mom. I don't feel comfortable not letting her know this.

She is the only one I have and despite her refusal to accept Derek, I still seek her approval. And so does Derek. He hates that my mom doesn't accept him. It's even harder since his parents are dead.

I wish I could meet his family. He told me his mother was lovely, truly a ray of sunshine. He looks the most like her. His dad was also a good person. No wonder Derek is too.

I call her and she picks up immediately.

"Oh, sweetheart, I've missed you! Come home!" she exclaims and I laugh.

"I missed you too. I was thinking of coming home this weekend?"

"Sure! I will cook you something you like."

"And I was also... thinking- uhm." I take a deep breath. "I know you hate Derek but can you please do me a favor and let him come over for dinner?"

She doesn't reply for several seconds. At one point I look at the phone to make sure she didn't hang up.

"Why...?"

"Mom... we are kind of dating."

Silence.

"I told you-"

"And I told you that you either accept it or you won't see me again," I cut her off bitterly.

If that's how I have to convince her, then I'll play dirty. Just like her.

"You should be happy I'm giving you a chance, again, after what you did to me," I add. I sound so much like Irène it concerns me.

She sighs. "Don't threaten me, Veronica. See? He is a bad influence!"

"You are the one who lied repeatedly! You just hate him because... what? I don't even know."

"I told you. I don't hate him. I just don't want you to date him."

"Mom, I beg you, get to know him. Give Derek a chance. I promise it will be worth it."

Silence, again.

"Fine. This Friday night. On one condition, you break up with him if I don't like him."

"Mom, what the fuck-"

"Don't swear. That's not how I raised you!"

"God, you've disliked him for years even when he saved me countless times. If you want to find a reason to hate him, you always will." I walk outside as I try to lower my voice since a lot of students are here.

I spot Derek's car. He is waiting for me.

"Please, just try this time, for me. Give him a real chance."

"See you on Friday," she says and hangs up.

I smile relived as Derek leaves his car and leans against the door.

I run to him and I jump on him, taking him by surprise. But he holds me in the air for a few seconds and kisses me.

"I love this," I say between kisses.

Derek looks at me and smiles. "If you always greet me like this, same." He kisses me again, this time on the nose and I giggle.

"Why are you so happy? I'm sure it's not only because of me," he asks.

"Oh, trust me it's because of you."

"Liar!"

"Fine, you caught me. My mom accepted! She wants to give you a real chance. This Friday."

Derek's face lights up. Perhaps I didn't understand how much he cared about this until now. He needs a family.

And I want to give it to him.

He wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer to him, not caring about everyone staring at our public display of affection.

"Let's go!" I say as we get into the car, already missing his touch.

While I'm very happy Derek gets a real shot, I'm also concerned my mom won't accept him. I know her too well. She believes she is in the right and nothing can change her mind.

She said I won't be allowed to date him if she disagrees, but that is never going to happen. It will still be my choice.

She can either accept it or I will have to distance myself from her.