When I was younger, my dad used to take me to sit on the bridge above the motorway near our house. He would always hold my waist tightly as I watched all the cars zoom under the bridge. Even though the thought of my dad left a distasteful sense in my mind, I let my legs dangle over the wall of the bridge, waiting for the sun to rise. 

I couldn't sleep, at all. I knew that as soon as I closed my eyes, the flashes would start again. It's getting clearer, the fragments aren't as blurry, the images not as confusing. But it's like a puzzle with pieces missing. I remember leaving the party, I was in a good mood. But I don't know why, the party itself is a blank. I remember bright lights blinding me, and I remember the feeling of absolute panic. But the rest is black, always black. 

I didn't see the point of laying in bed all day, so I came here, where I felt my stress vanish, and my thoughts turn into happy ones. So I decided to just wander, why is how I found myself here, right now, sitting on this stupid bridge. 

It was 7:23 A.M.; the sunrise, according to my phone, should be at exactly half past.

But my sweet silence wouldn't last for long. I sensed him before I saw him.

"Hey," he climbs up to sit with me, far enough away that he wasn't invading my space, but close enough so we could still talk with ease.

I ignore him.

He sighs. "Leah, you've ignored me for a whole day now, I think I've learnt my lesson." I say nothing. "Look, you're the only one that can see and hear me, please don't shut me out."

At that I found my eyes meeting his. They were so warm, full of hope.

"Hi," I say in a flat voice. 

The hope fell from his eyes.

"You're still mad, huh?" He sounds annoyed, like I was the one in the wrong.

I scoff, "you don't say." I reply sarcastically. 

"I'm sorry," he says, sorrow in his voice.

"So you should be, you made me look crazy in front of June, you even insulted her." I hesitate. "You shouted at me."

"I know," he replies quietly. "I was upset over the whole kid thing, you know? And then you never came to find me-" he wavers. "I mean, I waited for you upstairs but you never came."

"Well, it's called having a house full of family members pretending to give a shit about me," he recoils from my harsh tone. "Sorry," I sigh. "It's just I did look for you, I just couldn't escape upstairs."

"Not until June came, you followed her right up without any problems." He sounds envious.

"Casper, she's my best friend. Better to be pulled away from a party by someone like her then to just go up by myself. How would that have looked?" 

He considers this for a moment. "Fine."

"So you're telling me, you went off on me like that because you were jealous of June?" I ask, a slight laugh in my voice.

I loved how hard it was for me to stay mad at him.

"No, she really is a horrible person."

You know that thing I just said? About not being mad at him. Scratch that.

"Excuse me? Casper, she's my best friend. Sure she's dramatic and she says whatever comes to mind, which I know isn't always a good thing, but horrible? Never." I argue in June's defence.

"I told you, Leah. I sense people, read their aura, whatever you want to call it, and her's wasn't good."

"If you're so good at reading people, read me." 

His body stiffens.

"What?"

"You heard me, what does my 'aura' tell you about me?"

"That you're kind." He stops there so I roll my eyes.

"And?" I push on.

"You have a sad past." Now I'm the one stiffening. 

"Oh," I dipp my gaze down to the cars below us.

"I didn't want to bring it up myself, but," he trails off, giving me a half smile.

"Kind of dug myself a hole there, didn't I?" I chuckle. He smiles back. "Yeah, a sad past, that's one way of putting it."

He glanced at me, not saying anything, so I carried on.

"My dad left when I was thirteen." I squint as the first orange hued rays of sunrise kissed the dark sky. The sun would be up soon. "He left five years ago," I carry on, "and I've hardly heard anything from him since. I think it's hard for me because I know my dad chose to leave us. He didn't die, wasn't forced, he left because he got bored with us. He left because he stopped loving us."

A long peaceful silence stretches over the both us, only the humm of the early morning cars can be heard.

The yellow shining sun started rising in front of us. It filled the sky with mighty colours of red and splashed the clouds with endless rays of pink. It was bright and mesmerising, inviting me to stare deep into the horizon.

I could have stayed in that moment forever.

"Beautiful," Casper murmurs.

My head jerks towards him. "What?" I ask, dazed. Did he just call me beautiful?

"The sunset," he clarifies.

"Ah, the sunset. Of course." I say in my embarrassment of own stupidity. He was talking about the sunset.

"Oh, you didn't think- I wasn't- I mean yes you are beautiful, but-" he stutters over his words.

Blushing would have been no problem, but what I did was go as red as a beetroot. I felt as if all my insecurities were written largely across my face and there was nowhere to hide. I turned my head to the side to avert his gaze.

He didn't say anything for a while, we just sat there in silence, but this time, it wasn't as peaceful.

"Do you miss him?" He finally asks, breaking the awkward silence. "Your dad I mean."

Grateful for the change in subject, I reply, "yeah." 

I'd never told anyone before that I actually missed my dad, but with Casper, I felt like I could tell him anything and he wouldn't judge me. Normally, when people find out about my dad, they give me this stupid look, they pity me, they treat me differently.

But when I looked over to Casper, and he's looking back at me with his soft brown eyes, they still looked at me in the same way. We kept staring at each other like that for a while, studying each other's faces, looking into each other's eyes. I realised my body had started to lean towards him, and his toward mine. I quickly straightened up and coughed.

"Well anyway, enough about me." I say trying to shake off the tension now between us. "What about you? You seriously can't remember anything?"

He shakes his head. "Nope, the only thing I remember-" he laughs to himself. "You're going to think I sound cliche, but the last thing I remember was this bright light."

"Really?" I chuckle.

"Yeah." He laughs too.

"Well," I say while spinning around and jumping off the wall. "Why don't you and I go change that, we could go do some research, see if there's anything in the news reports about you?"

"I don't know..." He sounds wary.

"Oh come on, I need to research what happened in my accident too, we'll call this two birds one stone. Might as well try to clear up a few things for us both, right?"

"I guess?"

I beam at him. "Great, lets go."

My mum dropped us off at the library, and when I say we, I mean she took me, but Casper sat in the back, much to my mums unawareness. 

We found a spare computer at the back and got to googling.

My laptop was too slow to even bother with, and mum didn't understand WIFI, so I had decided the library was the best option.

I Google 'deaths newspaper article', hoping something might come up. It did, but after reading through every single one, nothing stood out to Casper, and none of the description described Casper.

"Is everything okay, Dear?" A brown-haired woman with big round glasses stood in front of me. 

"Yes thank you." I smile at her.

"What are you doing? Go ask her about finding out recent deaths." He urges.

"Em." The woman stops to turn around and look at me. I stare at Casper not actually knowing what to say.

"Yes Dear?"

"Oh, I was just wondering, what would be the best way to research any recent deaths?"

She looks at me confused, "it's just, erm, my history paper for school wants me to, em, compare past and recent deaths, you see, and em..." I trail off as she starts to smile at me.

"How interesting, I never had anything like that when I was in school." I give her an understanding smile. "If you go to the newspaper section, we have all the latest ones, I hope you find what you're looking for, Dear." She pushes a trolley full of books down the next aisle, leaving me to quickly grab my bag and race to the newspaper section.

"Why are you so eager to find this article? I might not even be in there."

"Shh, such the pessimist. And besides, I love a great mystery." I didn't look up at him, I was too busy pulling out all the newspapers from the last few weeks.

"What are you doing?" He asks, crouching down next to me.

"Putting them all into piles. I'll open some, and you'll read them, telling me if you see anything, and I'll do the others."

So that's what we did, Casper read the open ones, every now and then asking me to turn the pages over for him. And me, scanning everything in the hopes of finding something, anything.

I found nothing. Absolutely nothing. Fantastic.

I looked over to see Casper sticking his tongue out a little and scrunching up his nose as he concentrated on reading the newspaper in front of him. He looked so innocent and adorable. I didn't think I could tell him there's nothing in these papers about him.

"Why are you staring at me? And why do you look like you're the saddest person in the world?" I don't say anything. "Leah, what is it?"

"I can't find anything." I reluctantly say.

He stands up and walks over, crouching behind me so he could look at the article I was holding, as if I had missed something.

"Oh." His voice sounds low, but there isn't any emotion in it.

"Yeah, oh." I turn to face him, not realising our faces were mere inches from each other. 

I quickly move away, still holding the article up for him to read. My face probably red from our closeness.

"So nothing about how I died, huh?" He says in a casual tone.

"I'm sorry," I say quietly.

"Why are you sorry? I don't even care. Cool, I'll never know how I died," he says in an eerily calm voice.

"Why are you being so calm about all this?" My voice was rising, I had the sudden urge to hit him. Or maybe it was to hit myself, I felt like I'd let him down. I was so sure we would have found something. Anything.

"Leah, I'm already dead. Sure it's annoying I don't know how I died, but it won't change anything. I still know nothing about who I was, or my family." He gives a short laugh.

"Will you stop that?" I nearly shout. "God, what's wrong with you? We went through all this trouble, yet you couldn't care less about it."

"Sorry to shock you, Leah, but you're the one who wanted to do this, not me." He shot back, a snarl on his lips.

"Well I'm sorry for caring about you! I'm sorry you get under my skin, I'm sorry I want to help you because I like you too much to see you struggle." I slam my mouth shut, realising what I had just said.

"You care about me?" His snarl now gone, replaced with a small gentle smile. It makes me want to melt on the spot.

"Of course I care, I care because you're a pain in the butt in my life, you stupid lamp post!"

"Lamp post, seriously?" He laughs.

"Yeah, you're too tall, so now you're a lamp post, got it?"

He holds up his arms in surrender. A smirk playing on his lips.

"Could you keep the noise down over here? People are trying to study." An odd looking woman with small eyes and a large head peeks around a bookshelf, eyeing me suspiciously. 

"Yeah, sorry. I was on the phone to a friend." I lie.

"If you want to make a phone call, take it outside." She says, her beady eyes glance towards the exit.

"Sure, of course." I say standing up and gathering my things together, I could take a hint. It was a little annoying that I didn't have chance to look up my accident though.

"And don't leave all that mess on the floor either, I'm not a maid." She growls and saunters away.

I groan, looking down at all the mess we had made, or I had made. 

This was going to take some time.

______

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Talking about days, I hope you have/had a nice one! :)