My body felt numb as if it wasn't my own. My breaths weak, my eyes tired.

I know I need to open my eyes; I know I need to take a breath of air, or I might not get through this.

With all the willpower I could, I open my eyes and gasp in a breath, but nothing came. I couldn't breathe and I started choking on my own dry tongue. The bright light felt like punches to my eyes, causing me to slam my eyes shut. 

The lack of oxygen descended on my mind in a panic, in desperation I suck in another breath, burning my lungs with a ferocity that consumed me. 

My breath shook my whole body as if it was the first time oxygen had touched my lips. My lungs felt dusty and old as if they hadn't had a purpose in years.

Soon, the breathing came easier until it felt natural again, this let my mind calm down enough to let my eyes open and focus. I'm laid on a white bed, the white cover wrapped around my body so tightly I start to wonder if the tightness was the reason I couldn't breathe.

Looking down, I could see an oxygen mask around my mouth and nose. I slowly lift my arms, trying out the sore muscles. I pull at the mask, feeling a long tube pull at my throat. So that's what made it hard to breathe by myself. Pulling out the tube, I look around the room a bit more, now that my eyes could focus on different fine details.

To my left there's a long cream table, but it has nothing on it. To my right, a blue plastic looking lounge chair, and a window next to it. My view, a grey car park with lots of cars in it.

As I look around the room more, I realise where I am. I'm in a hospital.

The door opens quickly, emerging from behind it a tall woman wearing a nurses uniform. She stops abruptly, her eyes and her mouth were frozen wide open in an expression of stunned surprise.

She rushes out the room, then reenters with another nurse hot on her shoes. They rush towards me, checking all my vitals and shinning torches in my eyes. Finally, one of the women speaks to me. "How are you feeling?"

"What happened?" I ask, ignoring her question.

"You were in a car accident, you were in a coma. How are you feeling?" She asks again.

I look around the room again, trying to find some answers. I look at the nurse again to find her still looking at me, wanting an answer.

"I'm fine, I think? Nothing hurts, I don't think it does."

She nods silently, looking down at the clipboard with charts on. "Do you remember anything?" I shake my head a little. 

She nods again, "I'll be back soon, we're going to let your parents know you're awake and get a doctor to check over you. Don't move." With that said, she walks out the door, leaving me alone. The other nurse had left after she checked the equipment I'm hooked up to.

My mind was blank, all I could remember was this deflated feeling that had once consumed me. I could remember how scared I had been.

I raise my hands up to my face to look at them; they didn't look any different to how I remembered, which was good. Behind my hands, a blurry figure stood in the door way. Lowering my hands, my eyes focus on a beautiful face, a face that looks so familiar.

Bursts of memories rush back to me, all our time together, the way I had felt with them. I big grin spread across my face, straining my dry lips.

Slowly, the figure walks over to me, stopping just a short distance from the end of my bed.

"Hi, Casper."

"Hey, Leah," I say back.

My smile flatters as I see her face, tears in her eyes. My eyebrows go up in confusion, silently asking for an explanation. She only shakes her head, letting her once shiny chestnut hair fall around her face. Now, it looks dull.

I inspect her face and body closer, my heart felt like it had broken. My body feels like I'm on a rollercoaster that has just gone over the edge of the long drop, and it wasn't coming back up.

I could see through her. I could see through her like she used to be able to see through me.

"I didn't want to break my promise. I wanted to be here when you woke up."

"I don't understand, why can I see through you?"

Her lips quiver a little as she tries to sadly smile at me.

"I guess fate has a funny sense of humour." I open my mouth to ask her what she means, but she holds up a hand, silencing me.

"I kept your promise, Casper. Now you need to promise me something."

I nod slowly, not understanding what's going on.

"Promise me you'll be happy, that you'll never forget how we lived, the fun we had. Promise me you won't waste your second chance at life, you'll make the most of every second. And Casper, promise me that you'll let me go."

"Leah-"

"Promise me, Casper."

I stare at her, but the more I look, the less I see of her.

"I promise, Leah."

Her beautiful grin breaks out on her face before she slowly disappears before my very eyes.

* * *

"I hope you don't hate me for never visiting you, but it was too hard. That seems like a lame excuse, but there it is. It's been a while, hasn't it, six years now?

"Six long years, but I finally found the courage to come see you again, because I needed to thank you. You see, Leah, getting hit by your car was the best thing that could have happened to me, because that accident gave me you. You saved me. Those few weeks we spent together, reminded me of what life should be like." I crouch down closer.

"I never broke the promise I made to you. You taught me the courage to believe how light will carry endlessly, long after death. I love how you explained how rare and beautiful it is to exist. But even now, I wish I could ask, if you could please explain it again, just one more time.

"I knew how precious my life was. I knew you wanted me to live without you, to find happiness. But then I had to live my life with you gone from it forever. That was hard, it sent me back into that pit. But our memories together brought me back to find happiness again. Some of my best memories were with you, memories I couldn't tell anyone about. You stopped me from breaking that promise.                                                

"But, Leah, I couldn't keep part of that promise for a long time, I couldn't let you go. I tried to, but it was the hardest thing I had ever tried to do in my life.

"Today, though, I need to fulfill the promise I made to you, I need to let you go.

"I found a life without you, it was hard to do, I'll admit. I kept looking for you in everyone, but then I found Hannah. You would have loved her. She's a lot like you in some ways, but then not in others. She fits with me. We got married last year, and today, my baby daughter was born. Today is the birth of my daughter, and the anniversary of your death."

"I have her to look after now, as well as being a better husband for Hannah, but I can't do that when I'm still in love with you. So I need to keep my promise and let you go." I place my hand on the cold stone under me, reading over her name carved into it, causing a lot of emotions I had buried long ago to erupt. I look up to the sky to stop the tears, and to also speak to Leah. "But I never was any good at keeping promises." I smirk up to the sky, up at her, imagining her playful scowl.

I push myself back up to standing, peering behind me to see Hannah stood next to the car, holding our daughter in her arms. I start walking towards them, but abruptly stop and turn back to face her grave.

"Oh, and my daughter? Her name is Leah. I will make sure your words always find her ears, I'll explain to her how rare and beautiful it is to truly exist. That's my new promise to you, Leah. You may be gone, but you'll never be forgotten."

_____

Here it is, the last chapter. It's taken me a while, a lot of time spent trying to find motivation and inspiration. One year to write fifteen chapters, and I might even re-write the whole thing as my writing style and maturity has changed/improved so much from when I first started writing this, but we'll see. 

I have no words, just a song that I have loved for a long time, that seems to somehow fit perfectly with this book, so I used it as inspiration in this chapter. 

Enjoy. :) 

Sleeping At Last - Saturn 

{Link at side/top}

You taught me the courage of stars before you left.
How light carries on endlessly, even after death.
With shortness of breath, you explained the infinite.
How rare and beautiful it is to even exist.

I couldn't help but ask
For you to say it all again.
I tried to write it down
But I could never find a pen.
I'd give anything to hear
You say it one more time,
That the universe was made
Just to be seen by my eyes.

I couldn't help but ask
For you to say it all again.
I tried to write it down
But I could never find a pen.
I'd give anything to hear
You say it one more time,
That the universe was made
Just to be seen by my eyes.

With shortness of breath, I'll explain the infinite
How rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist.