KLAUS

Klaus fisted his hands tightly by his side, watching as the bumper of the vehicle disappeared from sight. Once it was gone, he returned to his bar and prepared himself a drink, trying uselessly to reign in his mounting anger. He swirled the brown liquid around once, noting the slight shaking of his hands.

How had he let himself entertain the concept of Caroline not leaving, if not just for a moment? Was he becoming so weak minded that he resorted to juvenile fantasies and wishes that were no more than coins tossed in the Trevi Fountain?

Klaus clutched the glass firmly in his hand before casting it to the wall, the force of it sending fragments of glass over the carpet floor. He ran a hand through his hair and took a breath. Perhaps all this was punishment for the things he'd done and through the eyes of Caroline, a part of him, that very human part, understood. Klaus wasn't exactly the ideal image of morality. Not today, though. Today, he had a reason to be the good guy, and he liked to believe he had been, by letting something so beautiful go.

But he couldn't even take credit for it, because even that was selfish; done in the hope that it would bring her back to him in the long run.

He wouldn't have let her go otherwise.

_________________________________________________________________________________

The silence in the car sat over us like a heavy weight. Maybe Stefan took my quietness as not wanting to talk about it and he seemed content with that.

Me? I was on the other side of the content spectrum, trying to get Klaus and that empty expression in his eyes out of my head. I wanted it to vanish, along with the kiss we'd shared. That kiss....just the thought made me feel like blushing so I squashed it down, burying it deeply in some corner of my mind. I was angry he'd kissed me. It was just adding more confusion I didn't need, and then to turn around and kick me out? His signals were about as mixed as they could get.

It was then that I realized Stefan was saying something and I jerked out of my reverie. "What?"

"Are you okay? You seem....distant." His eyes sparked with unveiled concern.

I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head, desperate to clear it. "I'm okay. I mean, I've been better. Clearly."

"I know," he said, reaching over to squeeze my fingers. His hand was warm and comforting, and I found myself struck with how normal it felt. There was no electricity. No nervous energy. No nothing. It was just as it was; a friend reassuring another.

I looked down at our hands, feeling a question bubble up to my lips and I pushed it past my hesitancy. "How was it for you? After you turned it back on? Did you....just go back to your regular routine?" I asked.

Stefan shook his head, glancing over to me. "No. It's not really something you can just put away and ignore. You don't return the same person you left as. It's kind of pointless to pretend you have."

I turned in my seat to face him more clearly, mentally mulling over his words. "So....how am I supposed to do this? Just walk back into my house without my mom and....start making college plans? Maybe join another committee? None of that sounds natural to me anymore. In fact, just the thought of having people come up to me and complain about study schedules and lost dormitory applications makes me want to scream."

"Going back doesn't mean trying to fit into who you used to be, Caroline," he said. "You simply do what feels right. If that means selling your house and moving somewhere else, then do it. If that means not going to college, then don't. Take the time you need."

"But what if...." I struggled to pinpoint the right words, squeezing his hand again as if it were lending me the support I was desperate for. "What if....I don't want to come back?"

Stefan looked at me this time, and I saw the understanding there, but it was mixed with a small undertone of pain.

"I hurt people, Stefan," I breathed, feeling tears well up and I tried to blink them back. "I killed people and felt nothing when I did. I broke families and probably made children without their mother or father, and I know what that's like. I don't want to go back and have my friends tell me that they understand, because I don't want it to be something understandable. It shouldn't be. I mean, that's a word you apply to financial problems and saying something you wish you hadn't in an argument. That's understandable. But flipping off your humanity and becoming this....this monster? That's not."

He sighed and I hoped I hadn't hurt his feelings, but my words still rang true to me. Just because this happened to vampires did not excuse anything.

A few moments passed in silence. I waited for Stefan to say something but instead, he clicked on his blinker and pulled to the side of the road. He turned the key and the car stilled. Then he finally faced me, leaning his other arm over the wheel. "You're right. The things I did without my humanity....I wish every day that I could undo it. But I can't. And what took me the longest in moving on was realizing that being happy and wanting to be happy didn't make me even worse of a person for it." His eyes suddenly seemed to turn sad. "My punishment is an immortal life of living with what I've done. And now it's yours. But you already knew that. So now the question is, what are you going to do now? Are you going to go back home and do what you think you need to, or not?"

I pursed my lips, looking away from him. There were things I wanted to do, sure, and I realized that's partially the reason I got in the car; because I figured I didn't deserve the opportunity to do them. I was in full blown, self-condemnation mode.

"Did something happen between you and Klaus?" Stefan suddenly asked and my fingers I'd been twiddling froze. I bit the inside of my cheek and raised my eyes to him. I thought of just sweeping it under the rug, but I didn't want to lie. And worse, I didn't want to lie obviously. "It wasn't a big thing," I admitted. "I mean he's still the most annoying hybrid I've ever met. And not to mention is in need of some serious anger management. I can barely stand being five minutes in the same room as him without wanting to tear his freaking head off."

Stefan's expression turned unreadable and I waited for the chastising. For him to tell me how screwed up I really was.

Instead, he said, "How long have you known?"

I looked at him in surprise. "Known what?"

"That you love him."

His words made my joints lock in place and my mouth dropped open. I furrowed my brows in disbelief. "What?" I asked incredulously. "You think I love Klaus? Klaus? I mean, you know who Klaus is right? Ancient, brooding half breed that's self righteous who's killed more than us combined? That Klaus?"

Stephan's eyes seemed to appraise me, as if he was taking that as a confirmation. "Yes, Caroline. You really....you really don't know it, do you?"

Well that just pissed me off.

"We're talking about Klaus," I repeated, waiting for him to jump on the train of denial with me. "The man who made a mess out of some of our lives and complicated the rest of it. How could you, of all people think that I would....that I'd seriously...." I gave this little laugh. But then I felt my expression go blank, the realization registering somewhere in my mind.

I hadn't wanted to leave Klaus. I'd turned my humanity back on at the prospect of losing him to some power seeking vampire. And now, I was suppressing every thought I had of him, because I didn't want to think of it.

Why?

I scoffed and shook my head. "No. That's not possible, I mean, I'd know. Love is when you want to be close to the person, not bash them repeatedly with a bat."

I stared off into space, trying to compose a valid argument against myself. "No. No, I can't be....in love with Klaus. He has a kid! I mean, how much more messed up could this get? You said so yourself that you don't return the same person you left in. Well then, if this is true, that's proof I've officially lost it."

"Caroline," Stefan said, coaxing my gaze back to his. He stared at me intently and I saw no stitch of judgement cross his features. "He was there for you through....one of the hardest times in a vampire's life. That's not nothing."

"He drowned me in a river!" I practically yelled. "I mean that doesn't exactly scream healthy friendship, on any level, and most definitely is not something to bring up in the 'so when did you know you first loved him' group discussion."

Stefan waited for me to finish and once I had, said, "He did that, all of it, because he was trying to save you. And he was willing to make you endure pain if it meant keeping you from bringing it to someone else. He knew that that's what you'd want." His voice was calm and for a moment, I struggled to come to terms with the fact that Stefan was defending Klaus.

I stared at him, mouth still hanging ajar, before snapping it closed. My fingers ran through my hair. Then I retracted my other hand from his and hid my face behind them. "Shouldn't there be some kind of a warning with this? Like a huge red blinking sign in that part of your brain? It's not supposed to just....happen."

"It's not something predictable," Stephan replied. "Sometimes you can't see it coming. It's known to blindsight."

"Well then, what now?" I asked, as if he'd have all the answers. "This doesn't change the fact that he still has a kid and other responsibilities. One that includes a particular woman hybrid that I'm not in the least bit fond of or anxious to see."

"Love includes compromising," he said with ease. "So don't wait for responsibilities to go away, Caroline. They won't. They'll just be replaced with new ones."

I shook my head again and took a deep breath. No. I wouldn't entertain the idea. I wouldn't. I'd stifle it until it died. But even as this resolution grew, something else grew with it. I felt it swell inside me and it took a moment to pinpoint the emotion.

Excitement.

"This would be such a poor judgement call! I mean we're talking a new time low on the self respect chart." I bit my lip, deliberating. "And you! You're supposed to oppose this, not encourage me to go off with....Dracula himself." I groaned. "It's like a twisted version of a courtroom drama! Or a horror film and I didn't grow up on either of those."

I rubbed my temples with my index fingers, mentally repeating my mantra of denial. He still had a kid. But maybe that wasn't the worst thing in the world. Maybe it wouldn't be so impossible....

"And what if he says no? Would you be mad if I just....abandoned you guys? I can't do that! That's selfish and-"

"Caroline," Stefan interrupted me. "Would you like to walk or drive?"'

I glanced at him. "What? Wait, are you kicking me out, too? Ugh, I knew it."

But to my surprise, he smiled. "No. I'm asking if you'd rather walk back or have me turn this car around and drive you back there myself."

My eyes widened and my jaw fell again. It took a moment to comprehend his words; ones I instantly questioned. Was he being serious?

Was I?

A hundred thoughts breezed through my head, followed by shouting accusations. Did I really want this? Was I actually ready to do something so crazy? I tried to say no again, but the conviction behind it was beginning to fade.

This was insane. And maybe a lot stupid. It was most definitely reckless.

I got out of the car.