"I can't believe this," I said, trying without success to pull out of Klaus's grip as he lassoed my hands together, the chained metal biting into my wrists. Evening was fast-approaching, painting the night sky in a bruised purple. Crisp air nipped at my arms and tugged playfully at my hair, much too lively and carefree for the strained atmosphere. Off to my side and down below the old bridge I stood on, glistened a river, undulated waves capped in silver lining. In the dying sun, the currents looked like drifting shadows, patient and uninviting.

Klaus pulled the chains tighter, effectively yanking my body closer to his."You best start believing quickly then. I'm not particularly fond of this idea either, but in such a dire situation, I'm forced to expand my methods."

"By drowning me." It wasn't a question.

"It's your choice in that matter. I don't wish to cause you pain, Caroline," he said, tone serious. He glanced at me once before winding the chain around my back and looping a lock between the two, one of the big kinds you'd only find on a storage locker. I heard it click.

"I just want you back to your flamboyant and over-achieving self and since that won't return with nothing but time, I reason we'd better get a jump on things now."

I wondered if that pun was intended, but didn't bother to ask as my gaze returned to the water. I tried to imagine being buried far beneath it, and wondered how Stefan must have felt as he drowned. Again. And again.

And again.

"Are you ready?" Klaus asked me.

A scoff escaped my lips. "Sure, why wouldn't I be? 'Hey, Caroline, do you have a plot reserved already? Well, no need. Here's a watery grave prepared for you instead.'"

He narrowed his eyes, weighing what he saw there on a very sensitive scale. "Are you afraid, Love?"

Against my better judgement, I thought about that night in the hospital; that feeling of trying to breathe around a mouthful of pillow. When I started thinking of death just moments before it came.

I smiled at him; I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of anything less. No, I wanted to revel in whatever victory I could get.

So without warning, and without thought, I bent my knees and launched myself over the bridge.

The water rushed up to greet me in a blast of ice and needling handshakes. It struck my skin in a million tiny slaps that cut across my body as the sun faded and the murky water grew thicker and thicker the farther I drifted. I held in my reserve of air, looking up to see back to the surface. Tiny fragments of light played above the top, as if the water itself were mocking me. Laughing at me. But they quickly grew smaller and smaller, until they blinked out of existence one by one and I was left in the dark.

The toe of my shoes skimmed something solid and I felt silt shift beneath my feet as the drifting ceased. I released a few air bubbles and refused to watch as they skipped up to the surface. Instead, I turned my focus to pulling on the chains, straining against the finality of them as I tried not to think of air or breathing.

Even if I died, it wouldn't matter. It wasn't permanent. I'd breathe in water and it'd be done. Seconds. It would just take seconds.

Unless Klaus decides to leave me here indefinitely.

That thought drew me up short.

I felt it then. It was just a twinge; a tiny, imperceptible moment of uncertainty, and I remembered what it was like to be afraid. As my body started to crave breath, I pushed the feeling of fear away, into some abyss in my mind where I kept everything else. I wouldn't cave. I wouldn't. I wouldn't.

More air bubbled from my lips and I vainly wished to reclaim them, for just one more breath as the ache grew, morphing into an undeniable pain that blossomed across my chest.

Breathe! My mind screamed at me. Breathe! My instincts raged. I shook my head and looked back to the surface I could no longer see through the mud cloaking my vision.

My lungs started to feel as if they were steadily being crushed, crippling in like soda cans, and I tried not to open my mouth. Tried to tell myself that there would be no air. But it was like my body didn't believe that and was simply awaiting some phantom breath.

It didn't expect the water that rushed in when I finally opened my mouth.

It didn't expect that jolt of shock, worse than the cold, when it realized there was just water, and slim hope for survival.

That spark happened again, as I choked and tried to break the chains that refused to budge. There was just the water, and with it, an undeniable glimmer of fear, looming beneath the growing threat of death.

My vision dimmed and I flashed back to the night I turned, on how it felt to die.

I was only marginally surprised to find that, whether human or vampire, it still felt the same.

******

He gave her five minutes. Five minutes to feel what it was like before he allowed himself to dive in after, swimming down to where the current and the weight of chains must have deposited her.

He saw her blonde hair before anything else, the weight of her bindings just enough to keep her alone down. He pulled on the chains, raising her to the surface and to the rocky shore.

Perhaps it had been a rash choice, he thought, as he lifted her up, unconscious, and carried her back up to the bridge. Maybe she was right, and he should stop this.

But he couldn't stop. Or more accurately, he wouldn't, not if it meant saving her. The Caroline he knew wouldn't have hurt a soul without paying the price of grief for it. And she'd pay it again after this, at a much larger cost. But he wouldn't let her add to her debt. If this was what would save her, he would do it.

He laid her down on the wooden planks with ironically gentle hands, given the circumstances, and tried to avoid looking into her face. He idly tucked a wayward strand of hair behind her ear as he released an inaudible sigh. "I'm sorry," he whispered and then waited for her to wake up.

It took longer than he expected, nearly an hour. And he watched the realization play out on her face, as she recalled the water, the drowning. The dying.

She gave him a very un-Caroline look. "Well, that was fun."

"Did you feel anything?" Klaus asked. But he knew she did. Anyone would, whether she admitted it to him-

"Nope."

-or not.

"Lying will not quicken the process," he said, gazing down at her. "Either you felt something or I expand the time. What shall it be?"

"I felt annoyance, does that count?"

"At the present moment, I'm annoyed, so no, it doesn't."

She tugged against the restraints but it was of little good. After all, he wasn't a novice to chain-wrapping.

"There are four very powerful, very human emotions, Caroline," he said, raising his fingers as if he were teaching a child. "Happiness, hatred, and the two most prominent; love, and that nagging sensation known as fear."

"Thank you for that psychology tip."

He ignored her retort and kept going. "To have any desire, whether seen or not, to turn your humanity back on, one of these emotions has to be triggered. Do you want to know which of these seems the most prevalent?"

"Not particularly."

"Well, too bad, I'm telling you anyway. It's fear, based on affection. The fear of losing a loved one. The fear of losing one's own life. It makes your entire being crave battle. So when faced with the reality of overpowering helplessness, you react before you realize and," he snapped his fingers. "Your humanity has returned, bringing with it a burden of emotion, laden with guilt and self-loathing. So I'll ask you one more time, Caroline. What was it you felt?"

She bent her head forward, craning as close as her bindings would allow, and narrowed her eyes at him. In a low voice, she whispered, "Nothing."

"Fine, then," he said, ignoring the dull pain that coursed through him at her refusal to cooperate. "We'll make this time six minutes. Oh, and don't try counting," he added, just to ensure she would. "It makes it far worse."

And before Caroline could object, he pushed her off the bridge.